What is it about this story that you like?

"Bunker" is possibly my most popular story. It consists of only a few chapters before I threw in the towel, but has the highest favorite/rateing/comments per chapter than any other story.

I gave up because I couldn't see the story actually going anywhere. I'm considering a rewrite, but I'd like to know what people liked about it in the first place.

The following is just to get the word count unfortunately...

Volker nervously wheeled the crate into a side passage where an older man checked over the form and then looked inside before handing him a cred stick with his payment. After that he walked around the station and collected the bare necessities for space travel as well as spending his newly gotten credits on cargo that should sell for a profit in the next system. All that accomplished, Volker now sat in the cockpit of his ship with a massive decision looming over him.

"I could leave right now."

The words hung in the air. He was screwed in that Xiao could get out and escape. His tampering of the pod would eventually be discovered. That would likely fall back to Mr. Snyder, ruining Volker's smuggling reputation at a minimum. Why had he listened to the woman in the first place? He understood why he had let her out, but there had been absolutely no need to do anything other than that. Was he perhaps just so starved for sentient interaction that he had gone with whatever she had said. He had spent the last year utterly alone. Just him and Sarah. He almost undocked right then and there as the desire to be lost in the starless Rift with just himself and the ship took hold of him.

"Do I enjoy trading?"

It was a good question. He put his whole life into that one specific profession and it took a full five minutes of making excuses and trying far too hard to make the answer anything other than, no. The trading was supposed to be a way to make enough money to upgrade the ship. Volker wanted to build his ship. That was his desire. To travel the endless void in a perpetual loop of upgrades until Sarah was a space born leviathan filled with endless passageways, cargo pods, and who knew what else. Of course, all those daydreams lacked the people necessary to man such a ship and Volker teetered on the psychotic edge of trying to build a Tech Mind to run the thing. Pulling himself back to reality, Volker forced himself to focus on the original question and the solid conclusion was that he hated trading. Hated the deals and negotiations. He was a mechanic and engineer through and through, trading was boring. It was entirely possible that he was very bad at it as well. He hadn't really made a profit in the last year. Just enough to scratch by, until he couldn't.

Xiao had said she would be willing to help with negotiating prices so long as he was taking a direction toward Ayres Concordia. He wondered if she would actually improve profits beyond the money needed to feed and scrub the CO2 of the extra mouth. De doubted it. Ayres Concordia was what? 50 or so lightyears away? That was ten days in the void if he did it in one trip. Actually, with the 300 for the narcotics and the 800 from delivering Xiao, albeit now in the way he was supposed to, that gave him a full 1100. He had the 100 more, and if she proved useful in negotiation, maybe it was worth hiring on some smooth talker? Probably not, but he could make a ten day trip without too much issue. Generally speaking, the longer the haul, the more profit. If only he didn’t have to make the payment every damn month.

It was time for the shift change. Volker took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. He unstrapped himself from the cockpit’s pilot seat and grabbed his rig. This was likely a damn mistake, but it was time to break into NeoLave and steal some data.

Volker’s Engineering Check. DC 15… 28

Xiao’s Perception Check. DC 15… 26

Volker’s Bluff Check. DC 15… 15 (That’s a surprise. His Bluff is a +1)

Xiao’s Bluff Check. DC 15… 17

Volker’s Computer’s Check. DC 15… 20

Volker’s Stealth Check. DC 10… 14

Xiao’s Stealth Check. DC 10… 9

Well that sucks. I was expecting more failure. Next time I'm upping the difficulty, but let's play this out as there should be some unexpected snags.

Volker jumped a little when the door opened. Xiao was back in her gray jumpsuit, she just looked at him for a moment and made a head motion that said "follow." Volker did so, walking through a room that was completely empty save for a coat rack and several dozen screens displaying useless information.

"Here." Xiao said as she threw him a light gray coat and slipped into a similar one. "What is with da pack."

"It's my tools."

"OK. Just keep your head up and look like you know where you are going."

"Why? Are there people here?"

"Of course."

The door opened for Xiao without her doing anything and Volker followed her inward. They found the stasis pod in short order. "Wait." Volker said. "Give me a minute, maybe I can undo a few things quickly."

Volker's Engineering Check. DC 20… 11

Xiao put a hand on him as he started removing cameras. She pointed to a panel in the ceiling. "We are being watched. Let us go."

Reluctantly Volker gave up on the pod and continued following. There was going to be no way out dealing with the consequences of helping the woman. The next room was full of people working away at their terminals. He tried hard to master a bored, it's another day at the office expression as he followed behind Xiao. No one even seemed to notice him. Two more rooms, a wrong turn, and a short hallway later and they were in a small Engineering room. Volker found the server and set his rig down. Xiao watched for a while as he directly plugged into the server and opened a terminal.

"Now you hack the passwords?" She asked.

"What? No. That would take years."

Xiao stared at him blankly. "Den how to get the files I need?"

"I thought that's why we snuck in here."

"It is in server. Not hard copy."

"Yeah. That's why I'm plugged into the server."

"You do not not need password?"

"Eh, yes and no. What am I looking for?"

"Subject 177-459-A7R3."

"Um, ok."

Xiao hovered over his shoulder as Volker set to work. "I do not get it. Are you on someone else's terminal?"

"Yes. In the background. That's why I don't need a password. It is being provided."

“Oh.”

“I’ve got the file. Is there anything else?”

“No.”

Volker packed up his rig and straightened. “Now we just, walk out?”

Xiao nodded and calmly walked out the door like she had just finished her job and was heading for break. They made it through most of the building before someone actually looked up from their workstation.

“Who the hell are you?” Asked a portly man with graying hair.

Without missing a beat, Xiao looked him straight in the eye and said, “repair staff, you should have a notice in your inbox.”

Xiao’s Bluff Check. DC 20… 12.

“I sent no such memo!”

“Oh, well he looks guilty.”

The man turned to look at the guy behind him and Xiao pushed Volker. She was too weak to do much, but Volker got the silent message, Run! It wasn’t far to the exit, but the door wouldn’t open. Volker felt panic setting in as Xiao wheezed something.

“Da coat.”

Volker looked back to see her throwing her light gray coat against the far wall. He didn’t know why that would matter but followed suit anyway. It didn’t look like anyone was chasing them. Which likely meant they were calling station security. The door opened and they were out. Xiao clutched her chest and leaned against the wall gasping for air. Volker wasn’t even winded yet and after just a moment of hesitation, he grabbed hold of the girl and pulled her along. She could rest in the elevator.

Oddly enough, station security didn’t bother them, at least not until they made it to Sarah. Volker left Xiao lying on the deck of the cargo bay trying to breathe and went straight to the cockpit. He started Sarah’s engines while ignoring the angry red notifications letting him know that the station wanted to talk. The ship went nowhere, it was locked in place. Volker fought down a wave of panic and cranked the gravity drive to maximum, channeling the fore of the ship downward and the aft up, produced a terrible wrenching noise as the Sarah twisted free. They fell away from the station gaining as much velocity as Sarah’s relatively new engine could muster. The station furiously sent messages at them, but they were in the Rift before actual ships came into range.

Question: What consequences will this have in the next system?