《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 17: Saving vervet Ryan
Advertisement
Name: Natasha
Race: Mandrill lvl 6
XP: 10
Size: 670
Type: Beast
Faction: Unaligned
Armor: 0
HP: 28/36
Strength: 5/Speed: 10/Endurance: 5/Magic: 2/Plasticity: 1/Luck 6
Senses: Vision 3, hearing 4, smell 2, taste 1, touch 2
Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 2, aposematism 1, innate magic 2
Skills: Bite 1, strike 2, grapple 2, throw 1, climb 2, sneak 3, hide 1, dash 1, dodge 1, block 1
Spells: Bluster 5 MAX, windfury 2
-4 hp
The dull throb in my shoulder, back and arm eclipsed all other thoughts in my head. I couldn’t think about anything but the spreading numbness, the arm growing slack as I tried to hold it up, fingers uncurling as I dropped the knife. It was like those mornings where you slept wrong and woke up with your arm numb. It’s really lucky that this didn’t happen earlier on. If I was mid-fight and lost feeling in my arms or legs, that would have been the end of it. I huffed out a sharp breath as the feeling gradually faded from the limb.
-4 hp
Also, that is a lot of damage. I’ve dropped down to 20 hp already. How long is this going to keep ticking? Cause even if it’s just a minute that means that I’m going to take over 40 damage, which I do not have. It’s a good thing I’d managed to kill so many spiders. Even at 15 xp that racked up quickly. That was 600 xp? 600 divided by 15 is… I’m bad at math. 600 divided by 5 is 120, divided by 3 is 40. There were 40 spiders in that crowd. Yeesh. On the fright side, that’s enough for my next level, on the downside, I may have to use it immediately if I drop below 10.
-4 hp
And it’s still going. That’s not good. Oh! It does however give me an opportunity to test out how much the persimmons heal for. So that’s something. I quickly reached into my satchel with my functioning hand and pulled out the little fruit. I could feel the back right of my neck going numb, so better eat it quick before I can’t swallow any more. I bit into the fruit, not even really tasting it so much as tearing it apart and swallowing it in chunks. I spat out a few seeds onto the stone floor falling back on my butt with a dull thud.
+10 hp -4 hp
Okay, good to know. Persimmons heal for 10 but do not cure poison. Very enlightening. Also not good. This is a very dangerous room if one single spider bite could have killed me. I am not a happy camper at the moment. Now my whole arm is numb, and my chest feels (or rather doesn’t feel) about a quarter. It’s taking quite a bit of effort to keep from panicking actually, as this kind of falls under the umbrella of body horror. I just need to take slow deep breaths and keep my mind focused on my menu. As soon as I drop to 10, I’m activating my level up.
-4 hp
Still going. Still spreading. My head is starting to lull to one side as the right side of my neck goes numb. Actually, I didn’t think of that. If this spreads to my head I might pass out, and I can’t press a button if I’m unconscious. Maybe I shouldn’t tempt fate like that. So far it’s ticked six times, and if it keeps going it’ll only get worse. Maybe it’s better to just assume it doesn’t stop at all unless cured, until proven otherwise, cause I don’t really want to gamble with my life. I shook my head, or at least tried to before reaching up and pressing the level up button. A familiar wave of relief ran through me, enervating my whole right side. The numbed flesh suddenly felt like that tingle you get from eating mint. I was back to full again, and wiggled my fingers. At least this time they were still attached, unlike last time.
Advertisement
Now I could go through my skills and stats and everything, but really, right now that seems like too much of a hassle. I’ll just wait until after I’ve explored some more. I picked up the knife and tucked it away, grabbing the torch in the other hand and lifting it up. One thing I wanted to do first was inspect the bodies of the spiders. Last time I was here, they dropped those gloves, maybe this time they might have dropped something else? So I circled around the cave walls to find the massive piles of gore, covered in the translucent grayish liquid I supposed passed for blood? Most of it, if they had dropped anything I’d never know simply because it would be buried with his fellow spiders, and I’m not touching that. Though in the second pile, I did find something.
Just beside one of the spiders was a pouch. And not a makeshift one like what I’d made. Like a real one made of stiff cloth and a button. I’m sure to the humans this would have been useless, but to me? This was an effective doubling of my inventory. As soon as I leave here I’m filling this thing with persimmons. This will be my healing pouch. I quickly unfastened my skirt to slip the hide through the belt loop and fastened it back into place. Such simple things can make you very happy when you are utterly deprived. That sounded way more depressing than intended. Still, I took the torch, and continued onward to the next tunnel.
I came around the bend and found myself at the old rotten door from before. It is much nicer not to have to go searching blind in pitch blackness for the handle like last time. I came up to the door, hopping up onto the frame and grabbing it with my feet. Feet thumbs are very useful, highly recommended. I pulled the door open and hopped back as the next room came into view. Just like before, the torches lined the walls, providing just enough light that I couldn’t complain about being blind. The mineshaft design still confused me a bit. In fact, how did it come to be at all? Are dungeons naturally occurring in this world? Are they formed by people? Can a place that already exists become a dungeon somehow? Was the dungeon here, and they just happened to uncover it? Or was it something like a descriptive term instead of a proscriptive one? All of these would have some odd implications if true.
I kept on walking down the tunnel, looking at the pillars as I passed. Last time I was here I was very much in a hurry, but now I could take my time to look around. There didn’t seem to be any visible ores that I could see, not that I’d know an ore if I saw one, but I do recognize these walls as granite, so it could be a granite mine? Though as I passed by I remembered one of these torches on the wall, along the left side, led to a secret room the humans found. Can’t remember which one though. I could try and guess which one it was, or more realistically I could start five torches in and just pull at them one by one.
I came up to the hanging torches, actually wait, wouldn’t they be called sconces? Or is that only for candles? Eh, it works anyways. I came up to the sconce, hopping up with one hand to grab at the base but it didn’t budge. Second was much the same, as was the third, and the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh. The eighth however was the one that gave way, clicking down as the sheer stone slid away to reveal the secret room. The entrance was narrow but as I stepped inside the room looked much the same as it had before. A set of stairs that descend into a room below with a chest sitting on a plinth. Oh right. Aragorn-ish picked the lock to that chest. I do not have a lockpick nor would I know how to use one if I did.
Advertisement
I descended into the room, walking up to the chest and circling around it once with a look of contemplation. Well, it is just made of wood, if I wanted to I could just chisel right through it. I mean, in the worst case scenario I set off a trap. So, I looked around the room for arrow slits, holes for gasses or liquids, magic runes, fake floor tiles, whatever I could think of, but no, nothing. So I was probably fine? I took out the tooth again, hopping up on top of the chest and started scraping through the carving in the wood. I leveraged the tip back and forth a few times, jabbing the tooth down with an echoing THOK THOK THOK. It took way longer than it should have but I am stubborn. So what might have been twenty to forty minutes and some sore palms later, I had a hole about as wide as my hand was. I raised the torch to look inside and saw the ornate key sitting on a pillow. I stuck my hand in and finagled it around for a bit before it fit through the hole. I could also see the mechanism attached to the inside of the lock with a long narrow dagger pointed towards it, so it’s a good thing I didn’t try to pick the lock.
I pulled out the key, it looked like it was made of either silver or very polished steel. It wasn’t the size of a house key either. The base of the key, encrusted with translucent amber gems, filled my palm. This was the boss key that the adventurers had grabbed before. Honestly I’d forgotten what was in here until now, but this was a decent thing to have I suppose. I don’t plan on fighting the boss, but hey, at least now it’s an option. I take the giant key and place it in my fancy new satchel. It doesn’t fully fit inside so I can’t close it, but I’m not exactly worried about losing it either. I finagled it a bit to where I could button it but the neck was still poking out of the corner before I headed back up the stairs. Now, what was the next bit?
I reentered the hallway and started down the way to the coming intersection. I remembered this part, and also remembered that if I turn right there’s the next door and also skeletons, though I wonder what might be beyond the path to the left. The adventurers didn’t go down that way, so they must have been rushing to the boss. That or they just knew already that there was nothing down that way. Still, it couldn't hurt to look. Well, it might, but it shouldn’t. I dropped into a low sneaking stance, scampering quietly near the floor.
I peeked around the bend but couldn’t really see anything with the torch behind me. I didn’t really account for sneaking with fire being near impossible. Honestly I never expected it to come up until now. I raised the torch around the corner and I could see a long hallway descending deeper in. Though after a few seconds, the sound hit my ear. The clattering of bone joints creaking and rubbing together echoing lightly off the granite walls. So there are more skeletons down this way. Unfortunate. Though if I’m going to fight any, it may as well be the ones that it’s required to progress. So I circled back, making my way over to the right side.
Unlike last time, I was hoping I would be able to get the drop on the skeletons at least. Hopefully take out a couple before they can respond. I pulled out the knife at first, but really the metal wasn’t going to help that much here, sheathing it to take the tooth again. I listened closely, hearing the more obvious clattering of bone than previously. Much closer. It couldn’t be more than say twenty feet? I suppose I could maybe dash in, windfury and shatter the ankle, or I could try a repeat of the spiders and huff and puff them right into the wall. I imagine that bones wouldn’t fare too well against stone.
I rounded the corner slowly, keeping the torch behind me as I saw the skeletal soldiers come into view. The five of them ran forward, faster than expected of a shambling corpse, but by no means a dead sprint. I was hoping I would get the jump on them, but the fire clearly gave that away before it started. I jumped back around the corner, and took in a deep breath to ready for them to round after me. Maybe this bluster into a wall trick would just become my go-to ability. After all, if I can kill hordes of spiders with it, why not?
As soon as the first skeleton rounded, I got a good look at it. It was wearing armor but not like I would have really expected. Usually they are wearing chain mail or the fantasy giant plate on the shoulder thing. This looked like those padded motorcycle jackets, but instead of zippers they have buckles. It’s kind of cool actually. I’d want one if I weren’t a monkey. The only real substantial armor they had was a helmet, which looked more like a metal skullcap. In their hands they had swords. They looked like they were those viking one handed swords, but they had short leaf shaped blades. Just from my discern weakness ability I could tell that they weren’t very strong, but then again neither am I. They are fragile and light weight being only bone, and not super agile. The best thing to hit would of course be the joints, but it would require that I get in close. Naturally I don’t want to do that.
I waited until all five were around the corner before letting out my held breath, knocking the clustered group of skeletons back into the wall… to no real effect. They bumped into the stone, one tripping backwards, but the rest were even still standing post impact. So that plan didn’t really work. What’s worse, I’d forgotten about my torch, which was snuffed out in the wind. Perfect, just perfect. I could barely see as the skeletons broke for me, swords raised in a skilless swipe downward. They may as well have had hammers for how well they wielded them. Well, that’s not really fair, they were at least keeping the sharp side pointed towards me.
I dashed backwards to avoid the slash as it bounced off the ground (that thing cannot still be sharp), now holding an unlit, slightly charred stick and a tooth. I needed to come up with a better plan than before, and quick, because these skeletons, though they aren’t as fast as I am, are trying to surround me. More clever than I gave them credit for. But the question is how do I hit any of them without immediately being skewered? They don’t even fear getting hit so they won’t flinch like Aragorn-ish did. Another slash came in from the side and this time I had to dodge it, ducking low and shuffling to the side.
I watched the over swing pass by and bounce off the granite with a clang when I got an idea. I Hopped back again, this time getting right up next to one of the support beams in the center of the tunnel. Two of the five swung their swords down and I ducked behind the pillar, watching them smack into the solid wood and sinking in. The both of them were wedged in, the two skeletons trying to wrestle the blades free, but alas they have no muscles. The three remaining however were still free, and I simply ducked behind one of the stuck skeletons thinking that they might hesitate but no. The blade sliced into his fellow skelly-man and rent him asunder. Huh, new plan.
I waited for the cooldown to my bluster to end as I scampered backwards, trying to angle myself between the offending skeletons which initially was not working as they simply fanned out to attempt to encircle me again. Though as the one that was stuck freed himself, I bolted towards him and jumped up on his back. He tried swinging backwards, stabbing over his shoulder at me, but his fellows weren’t so kind. As soon as they had a clear shot, the blade swung up from below. I saw it coming but the skull of the unfortunate skeleton was turned into a crumpled heap within his helmet. As he fell, two more swings came for me, but I was riding the skeleton’s torso all the way down to the floor, so they sailed overhead.
Now with two skeletons down, I grabbed the dropped sword and nope. Way too heavy. I can lift it yes, but swing it? It was much too cumbersome for a mere monkey to use as an actual weapon. Maybe Boris could though… Now’s not the time to worry about that. I dropped the blade before I could really lift it, dashing away again as the next blade swung for me. I needed a way to make this easier, but I can’t really take any damage from them without… I looked at the unlit torch in my hand. Well, a big stick is still useful for one thing.
I cast windfury on the stick, circling again to keep the skeletons all in front of me before this time dashing in, whirling the stick around, wind splitting in its wake to impact squarely against the knee of the closest one. I expected it to do some damage, but it instead let out a sickening crunch, hyperextending, and then completely pulverizing the limb. The leg buckled and the skeleton fell over. Though unfortunately still moving. I was fairly impressed with the result of my new impromptu club, but also very distracted by the results.
-6 hp
Ack! The blade of the second skeleton came down and stuck my arm holding the torch, and I watched as soon as I had dropped it, even before the time was up, windfury dissipated from around it. The tip of the blade had poked out the opposite side of my forearm as I pulled back, leaving me with the bone knife in hand and an open wound. I tumbled backwards but managed to roll to my feet quickly as the second blade came, not from the standing skeleton who was now circling, but the one who’s knee I destroyed, slashing from the floor. I did luckily avoid it, not by being quick, but coincidentally I had already rolled just out of reach. One more time, a blade sailed over, but I didn’t jump back, instead dodging under and climbing up his pants leg. This was a mistake.
-2 hp
Shooting pain arched through my left arm as blood sprayed out over the skeleton’s back. That was a lot of blood. Secondly I watched a blade emerge from the back and nearly skewer my eye, as the one skeleton had stabbed through the other to get me. I fell back onto the floor as the skeleton was cleaved through the spine and crumpled. There were only two left now, the one on the floor and the one standing. The one on the floor was crawling towards me, which left me with an opportunity. As soon as I saw it dragging its sword hand back, I leapt forwards, tooth in hand to bash in the bridge of its… place where the nose would have been. The skull cracked as the tooth busted through, but the arm was still moving so I wrenched the tooth up, one harsh pull and half shot putted the skull into the wall.
50 XP -2 hp
The last skeleton was already over me as soon as I’d impacted, making a harsh downward cleave into the other skeleton’s back. I had moved closer, stumbling into its leg and driving my shoulder into it. I didn’t think I could full on tackle it, but hooking the knee would force him to kneel. So I managed to circle behind him again before he could raise the sword, climbing onto his back. He jabbed over his shoulder, but I was able to get the tooth right up behind his head and drive it down into the spine with a loud CRACK, watching the neck separate and buckle in. The chin bounced off the collar bone and rolled forward into the dirt.
50 XP -2 hp.
I quickly grasp my bleeding arm, squeezing it tightly before looking around for anything that could help. My eyes fall to the pants of the recently slain skeleton. It’ll have to do. I sheath the bone knife and pull out the metal, jabbing it in roughly and tearing out strips of the fabric. I wrapped the strip around the arm tightly, layering it over and over haphazardly and as quickly as possible. Eventually I stopped once I had paused long enough to make sure damage wasn’t still ticking. Right now I’m not sure which is worse, poison or bleeding. I grumbled slightly as I fell back onto my butt again, letting out a long drawn out breath. All of that work for just 100 xp. Hardly seems fair compared to the spiders. Also, wait, only 100? They give 50 each.
I looked around, and the other skeletons were in fact still dead. Is it because I made them kill each other? You’re kidding. In order to get the xp I’m the one that needs to get the killing blow? Really? I am very frustrated. I need all the xp I can get, and I get stabbed, and nothing to show for it. I shook my head. I can’t even use the swords either. I slipped the tooth back into my pouch before picking up the torch in my good arm instead, bringing it between my knees as I started trying to light it back up. It took maybe ten minutes before I got the spark to catch again, waiting for it to actually get a good flame going before I picked it up and continued on to the right path again.
There was the door to the dungeon proper, just like last time. The outside of the door, now that I got a better look at it, was wood, but it looked like it had been lacquered in some sort of black tar. The carvings in the wood look like some sort of overly intricate design of flowers and bones in a repeating pattern. I push the doors open with a grunt, having to use my shoulder and forehead to push it. Then the blue light of the candles filled the hall, the rush of wind came out and extinguished my torch again, the pure unadulterated anger boiling up in my chest before I took a deep breath in and a slow breath out. Just focus on the path ahead Natasha. Take your anger out on someone who deserves it.
I entered the room, illuminated in blue candles from the chandelier above and framed in the dark blue stone arches. Taking a better look around showed me the old coffins to either side seemed to have some sort of placard under them marking a name but I can’t read the language still. The sickly sweet smell of rot tickled the back of my throat, making me want to hold my breath, but not bad enough to vomit. The sense of imminent doom was worse this time than last time. Probably because I am alone.
I glanced up and down the stone pillars about the room. I remember climbing up these to hide. This time I won’t be making that mistake. Not that I really have an option with this injured arm anyways. Though the question is now how do I handle the skeleton archers? Luckily they don’t have swords, but a dozen arrows at any range in this place is undoubtedly worse logistically. If I can get up close then I should be safe from that one, but maybe eleven more shots to the back? I’m as good as dead. The pillars are probably my best option defensively. They’re a bit spaced out, but not more than a dash apart. The issue is more in the fact I’ll need to keep looking in every direction to avoid getting shot.
I tapped a foot against the stone grumbling slightly under my breath. This room is awful. How did the adventurers handle it? I was mostly distracted by the bats last time I was here. How did they do it? Maybe if I- My thoughts were cut off by the sound of opening coffins. My foot! My stupid foot made a noise and woke them up. Great. No plan, Lets just try and not die, yet again…
Advertisement
THE ENCOUNTER
One day in 2022, a mysterious Alien Entity arrives in Melbourne, Australia. What is their purpose of coming here? How will our world react to their arrival? The story follows the footsteps of Jack Geralt – a Royal Australian Regiment veteran who, along with his friends, is recalled into active duty in response to this event. P.S #1: Because this is my first time I write and post my novel here, I will wait for your reviews before posting more chapters. Whether you like it or not, I still hope you enjoy reading my novel. P.S #2: I am sure you noticed that the Cover Art is not mine. I simply chose from my collection of favorite Concept Arts. If whoever designed this art sees this, I thank you very much. Since I am doing everything myself and have to alternate between my work and writing, this is the best I could do. P.S#3: If there are any inconsistencies with what you know (for example, location’s names, recent world events and properties), please remember: This Story takes place in a fictional and alternate reality.
8 103Dip$h!+s in Space
An eccentric comedy novel (that thinks it's a TV show) about space, and the Dipsh!+s that end up stranded in it. This hyper-self-aware comedy of stupid proportions, centers around Captain William T Lawg (no relation) and his adventures as a guy who managed to afford a refitted soft-top ice-cream truck, in space. Explore the universe with his trusty crew of valiant randos. Marley, the tech-bro, stoner spacebunny, who just wants to get away from his home world and the bullies it harbors. Duffy, the plump and sassy female mechanic, who has had every job in existence totaling far more years than possible. Roy, the frigging fabulous, flamboyant android, and former spy…or possibly current spy. (dun dun, daaaa!) And lastly, but certainly leastly, that other chick the captain keeps trying to bang. Ride with the crew of the notorious Tast-E-Chill, to a world of wonder that a lot of other space travelers have already been before, but probably not Lawg, so it's still exciting. This satirical joke on itself and every sci-fi trope ever to exist, will be sure to either thrill you or disappoint you, because COMEDY…IS…SUBJECTIVE! With a crew of 3-10 and an IQ of also probably 3-10, The captain putters along to uncharted lands, where history, loot, drama, innuendos of the sexual verity, and various Technicolor hoes shall surely be waiting, usually with some form of trap. Each season brings new and interesting crewmen, like: Menace: the adorable genderless frog-child-thing with the heart of gold and the dialogue vocabulary of a slightly trained parrot. Greg: the 8 foot tall, ancient, thermonuclear, semi-retired alien overlord who just wants to prove he still has a purpose…and also to rule the galaxy. Izzy: a 3rd generation, age-reversed reboot, accidental clone of her own mother/sister/older self, who happens to be Greg's daughter-in-law…and much, much more. Prepare yourself for shallow adventure, moderately-to high offensive dialogue, and overwhelmingly childish scenarios. Tag along as the crew battles, fierce enemies, lack of food and survival tape, and occasionally their own incompetence. Teen Romance, current politics, subtlety, dignity, this sucker has none of those, and it darn well knows it. Raise the sails and grab the rails as a bunch of dipsh!+s find themselves...IN SPACE. (Roll dramatic tapering credits, to royalty free trumpet music)
8 126Relic Heirs
Bridget wasn't supposed to be chosen. The middle child between two prodigies, her entire family is shocked when her father's legendary relic whispers the first piece of its name to her, marking Briddy as the heir. Against her parent's wishes, she steps into the harsh glare of the limelight, landing herself a spot in the same magical university that banned her siblings from its grounds, despite being local legends at the school. Now, Bridget has to juggle a family that has no faith in her, the shadows of her siblings that still loom over her school, and an acrimonious rival, all while trying to find her self-worth in a magical relic she can barely summon. Luckily for her, she isn't alone. How do you stand tall on your own feet when you sit On the Shoulders of Giants?
8 160Luster
Growing up with her recently deceased mother’s addiction and her own struggles with gender identity, June Fujiwara was not a nice person. Gaining powers from nearly being murdered didn’t change that, and neither did becoming a mercenary to fund her transition. It took horrific manipulation, the resulting trauma, and the family that helped her through it all. Luster is a derivative work based on Worm by Wildbow (John C. McCrae) that begins prior to Worm and although it doesn't show straight away, the story is very AU.
8 79I became the strongest magical tome. But I am still a teacher! Book 1
I am not human anymore. I am not even alive for that matter. But I haven't lost my love for teaching. The smiling face of a student always brought me joy. Giving and reciving knowlege alway's excites me! So I will not become discuraged! Even though I am a book now and my student is a dungeon monster!
8 219Immutable
The world went to hell in a handbasket. Overnight, something called the Allworld downloaded itself into the universe and everything but the kitchen sink appeared to end the planet. Governments fell and chaos reigned. People were left to fend for themselves. Of course, that's not, like, a bad thing. Pollution is at an all time low which means no more global warming. And all that corrupt bureaucracy is gone now too. Which means all those evil people refusing to do something about our dying planet are gone. Plus, people got superpowers. Which is, you know, pretty sweet. Of course, they can't be normal superpowers, everything but the kitchen sink was thrown in after all. Caleb is immutable, unable to physically change in a world completely changed; Alex was granted a system that talks to her in cat puns, but also gives her power over all cats; Nathan met a god of impulse, who gave him powers because he felt like it; and June is given a power to make things lazy, something opposite to her personality. The four of them meet by chance while hunting monsters. They met by chance but must learn to work together when an empire from space lands on Earth with the intent to subjugate the surviving humans.
8 192