《The Juggernaut》Nine
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Tila folded her arms around the guardrail and rested her chin on her wrist. She worked it back and forth, feeling the small bones move aside under the pressure. The cold metal burned against her bare forearms as she let her mind empty and her legs swing free, and she stared unseeing into the mid-distance.
The noise and activity of the marketplace below her failed to penetrate the bubble of isolation she had willed around herself.
The market was unusually busy today. Traders and merchants mingled with the residents of the New Haven free port as well as visitors from neighbouring communities.
New arrivals trickled into the market from the nearby docks. Travel by ship was the safest option. Everyone else had to make the journey between the communities on foot. They would have moved in larger groups for safety, but once you were outside the secure New Haven perimeter, the tunnels and corridors were still dangerous.
Tila heard and ignored the approaching footsteps. Not many of the people she knew would take the time to seek her out here, perched high above the market. She suspected she wasn’t worth the trouble, not unless she was in trouble. She only knew two people who would bother, and the footsteps were too heavy for Ellie.
‘Hey,’ she said when Malachi was close enough. It was just a word. Enough to acknowledge but not welcome another human being. There was no warmth in it.
‘Can I sit down?’
‘If you want.’ She dug her chin into her arm again and swung her feet back and forth together.
Malachi sat cross-legged on the floor next to her and leaned back against the same railings through which Tila spied on the bustling crowds below.
‘So…’ he said.
‘So?’
‘So, Ellie told me what happened between you and my dad yesterday,’ said Malachi.
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Tila dropped her gaze to the marketplace, not really focusing on any particular detail. ‘You know it bothers her when you don’t get along with him.’
Tila mumbled something inaudible.
‘Huh?’
‘I said, what’s that got to do with her? It’s not like he’s her father.’
‘Wait, are you mad at Ellie, or at my dad?’
‘Isn’t everyone mad at me?’
Malachi shuffled around to face the same direction as Tila and dropped his legs over the side of the gantry too.
‘No, but you don’t make it easy sometimes. Look, you know what Ellie’s like. She wants everyone to always get along. It’s hard for her when people don’t.’
‘By people you mean me.’
‘She cares about you. Even my dad cares about you, really.’
‘But?’
Malachi sighed. ‘But he has to care about everyone else as well, and—’
‘And I don’t?’ she challenged, looking at him for the first time.
‘No one’s saying that. Well, some people are, but he’s not. It’s just, you know, he has to look at the big picture and manage all the little details at the same time, and you don’t.’
‘But it’s not like I don’t care.’
‘I know. I think he knows that too, but you don’t… I don’t know, you don’t blend in.’
‘You mean I’m not welcome?’
‘No, no, no. Not at all! Wait, that sounds wrong. I mean you are welcome but you never seem to, uh, commit to the people here. You drop in and out when it suits you.’
‘Well, why should I commit?’ She gestured angrily, taking in the whole market. ‘This isn’t my home. I don’t have anything keeping me here. But I still do my part. I work hard and I help people.’
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Malachi nodded. ‘That’s true, but you’re more like a hired hand than a resident.’
‘I don’t take advantage of anyone. I work hard and fair.’
‘I mean you act more like a visitor than one of the family. That’s all I’m saying.’
Tila fell silent. She knew this was the crux of it. Eventually she said, ‘But I’m not one of the family, am I?’
‘Neither is Ellie,’ Malachi pointed out. ‘She doesn’t have anyone else either, but she’s part of the family. She’s a part of the community. She joins in.’
‘Everyone only loves her because she’s cute and harmless.’
‘No, they love her because she cares, and she gets involved. Without those things she would just be…’ Malachi searched for a word.
Tila looked at him for the first time and managed to suppress the involuntary smirk that threatened to break her dark mood. Ellie could do that, even when she wasn’t around. ‘Annoying?’ she offered.
Malachi laughed. ‘Maybe. That’s one word for it.’
Tila worried her chin against her wrist again. ‘Well, she is annoying sometimes.’
Malachi smiled to himself. She wasn’t wrong. ‘But you love her anyway, right?’
Tila threw back her head in defeat. ‘Fine! Yes. I love her even though she can be annoying.’ She threw him a look. ‘Just like you!’ She curled her legs up on the floor beside her and climbed to her feet. She offered Malachi a hand and helped him up. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, squeezing his hand.
Malachi squeezed Tila’s in return. ‘That’s all I wanted to hear. Now let’s go and buy stuff.’
‘Good one. With what?’
‘Let’s go and pretend we can buy stuff.’
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