a dumpster fire.

Otto didn't let him go. She couldn't let him go.

After initially clinging onto his shirt they stayed there, for a long time, her tears soaking his shirt while he held her close. Eventually he told her he was going to move them, he pulled them to the head of the bed and they both layed down.

She was so close to him, almost every part of her was pressed against him.

Otto wasn't really thinking about that, she wasn't really thinking about anything but how bad she hurt.

Her entire world came crashing down and she genuinely felt like she was dying, at the beginning she was right, she wasn't really breathing. She filled her lungs with air and couldn't let it go but after JJ moved them to her room her gently told her she needed to breathe out.

Normal Otto would've told him to go fuck himself, that she knew how to breathe and didn't need his advice.

But this wasn't normal Otto, she was completely shattered, so she eventually figured out how to breathe out. After that her breathing was erratic and unpredictable, sometimes she forgot to breathe out but she'd snap out of it quickly, sometimes her chest rose and fell quickly. And sometimes she simply didn't breathe.

He didn't say anything, telling her it'd be okay wouldn't help, it wouldn't stop the hurt.

So he just let her cling onto him and he ran his hands up and down her back so he felt like he was doing something to be useful.

He liked helping.

And this time he wasn't a hinderence, he was truly helping.

The walls she had built up to protect herself against people just like JJ had collapsed, she wasn't in the right state of mind to realise they had.

All she cared was that he was right there.

Otto knew it was him.

She wanted it to be him.

He made her laugh, and smile, he knew what she liked. And in turn she knew a lot about him, what he did and didn't like.

JJ made her feel better about things. He made things bearable.

Otto cried for the first twenty-four hours, flipping between sobbing and silently crying.

Not once did JJ want to leave, he didn't want to be anywhere else but right there.

After the first day she didn't cry anymore, she was silent.

The only time she left him was when she went to the bathroom, and the only time he left her was when he went to the bathroom. He always tried to time it when she was asleep. But when he came back she was always awake, looking at her, it was easy to see how vulnerable she was.

She was no longer hard to read, anyone could walk into the room and they'd know she was heartbroken.

During the first few days, after she stopped crying, she was silent. Her mother came in, telling her she needed to eat, even if it was just a piece of toast.

Otto's mum checked in every few hours, everytime she saw JJ right there, trying his best to make her feel better. She was happy Otto had him, he was so patient. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't surprised, it was so uncharacteristic for Otto to cling to someone like they were the only thing that mattered in the world.

JJ texted the group after the day her father died after she had fallen asleep, he was very brief, just saying there was a family emergency. He didn't want to say anything beyond that.

They all probably knew already.

Otto notoriously hated all the cuddly bullshit, but from the second he picked her up she couldn't bring herself to let him go.

After the first week came and went, she had slowly gotten better, she was still far from okay but she began speaking. Albeit a few words here and there, they sat and watched TV, Otto's hand always touching his. She also began to eat more than peice of toast a day, even when she was eating JJ had his hand on her, usually on her back.

Then there was the funeral. She dreaded it. She didn't want to go, but she knew she'd regret it if she didn't.

JJ asked if she wanted her friends to go, but Otto shook her head.

She just wanted quiet, no pressure to talk to people.

Unsurprisingly people from her hometown flew out for the funeral that was held just over a week after his death. JJ almost decked several people. They all stared and whispered, it was her dad's funeral and all they seemed to care about was his pregnant teenage daughter.

If he was being honest the only reason he didn't punch them was because that would entail letting go of Otto's hand.

Otto spent the next week slowly getting back to normal, to everyone's suprise she didn't begin pushing JJ away. She still liked him being right next to her, running his hands through her hair just like her mother did when she was a child to make her fall asleep, and she liked him holding her hand.

When they began going outside her bedroom she'd occasionally grab his hand. Otto even hugged him once.

He liked it.

He liked it a lot.

He was in no way shape or form happy at what happened to make the change in Otto, if he could take it back he would in a heartbeat. But he still liked her openly needing him.

Almost three weeks after her father died Otto told JJ she wanted to go to the Chateau, she was ready to be around people again.

JJ sent a stern text they under no circumstance were they to mention her father's death, they were to act like nothing had happened.

After JJ parked her car in front of the Chateau they got out of it and began walking toward the house, Otto reached out and grabbed his hand.

Otto began to worry that she was annoying him, that she was being too clingy.

In truth JJ was happy, Otto had been front and centre of his mind since the night they met. He had accepted the fact that while they would share a child, they'd be nothing more than good friends.

As they arrived to the back porch the group were laughing and joking, truly acting like nothing had happened. It didn't seem forced or pretend, Otto was aware they would be curious. One day she may answer questions but that day wasn't the time, there might not ever be a time.

Otto sat in the hammock, not laying down but sitting up, looking at her friends.

She let go of JJ's hand when she sat down and he sat in the chair next to the hammock and leaned back, reaching his leg out and resting it on the table and began pushing the hammock.

They all caught the pair up on the latest going's on. Some kid got expelled for pissing in a teacher's coffee, said teacher walked in mid piss. Some jock tested positive for a laundry list of drugs, and Kie had broken up with Maria.

This made Otto smile, something they all were happy to see.

Otto liked Maria, she was confident, funny and extremely pretty. They were a gorgeous couple. But the off and on again relationship never failed to amuse her.

It was a dumpster fire of a relationship.

Well and truly a disaster.

The difference between the expectant parents relationship was obvious, before her father died Otto maintained a six foot distance between the two. But now they walked in holding hands and it wasn't just JJ looking over to watch Otto, but she did it too. She looked at him almost to check if he was still there.

Sure, they laughed and joked before but Otto was obviously wary of him. Expecting him to do something to ruin her sooner or later.

But whatever happened in the last few weeks had completely changed them. Otto trusted him, fully and completely. Which was a lot for her.

Otto only wanted to stay for a few hours, her social battery had run out, she got up to leave, expecting JJ to stay with his friend's he had never gone that long without.

But he got up with her, saying goodbye.

As soon and they began walking down the stairs he grabbed her hand, that wiped away all her anxiety that she was annoying him.

On the way home, JJ was still driving her around, he thought he saw an animal on the road causing him to swerve, almost running them off the road.

Otto laughed hysterically, whilst he was laughing at his super driving skills JJ gave her a glare.

On the inside he was beyond happy, he hadn't heard her laugh in way too fucking long.

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