I was a monster. Back with the Olympic coven nobody said anything about my past, but I knew they were aware.

Edward called himself a monster, Rosalie called vampires monsters and Alice called the human drinkers monsters. I wasn't a vampire but I was more of a monster than anybody I knew. I never liked it but I secretly agreed with Edward's reluctance with the idea of me turning.

Letting out a shaky breath I steadied my racing nerve. Aro, Caius and Marcus looked concerned, I wondered how long that would last. I internally hoped that one of them would argue that I didn't need to explain myself, but they just stood there waiting for me to elaborate.

"Mommy can we pleaseeee get chocolate?" I begged. That day I was at the supermarket with my parents. I remember I was being a brat and mum's patience was running low. From an outside view it was a cute scene, a young mum trying her best not to get mad at her child whilst her husband watched from a few metres away, laughing at both of them.

"Lyra we've been through this you'll get sick if you eat so much sugar," she said. I kept tugging at her shirt, "mommy please you never get me anything," I yelled. It was an absolute lie. Both my parents loved me, I was spoiled in any way a child could be spoiled.

I stomped away from my mother then. I remember my hands were shaking in frustration. I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did. She was already sick, when I turned back to glare at her, instead of shaking her head and consoling me she fell to the floor and began screaming.

I didn't know back then that it was because of me. My dad rushed over to her as she passed out, and all I could do was cry.

The doctors said she went into septic shock because of the sudden pain she felt. At the age of 4 I ruined 3 lives. After my mother passed away I was left with a broken man.

He quit his job and began indulging in alcohol, drugs and women to distract himself.

I was ignorant, I knew that what I didn't wasn't a childhood but there wasn't anyone to blame for what happened but myself. We moved houses very often, he used to tell me that it was because we couldn't afford where we lived anymore. Looking back on it I know now that he was running away from something or someone.

I considered running away or getting someone's help, but every time I tried he'd drag me back home and hurt me again. He used to say that I was a worthless piece of shit, that I should've died instead of my mother.

I walked into the living room rubbing my eyes and clutching on to Mr Diddins. "What are you doing here, I thought I told you to not come out," dad yelled at me. The room stank of smoke and alcohol. I walked over tentatively hoping for some form of physical comfort. "I had a nightmare about mummy," I softly cried out to him.

He looked over at me and got up, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION HER YOU BRAT".

"You're the reason she's dead, I wish I had killed you," he slapped me and I fell to the floor, trying to crawl away. "She's dead and if it weren't for you she'd still be alive you freak!" He kicked me and stomped on my back. I was sobbing, but I kept trying to crawl away. I shut my eyes and for a minute it all stopped. I backed myself into the corner.

I opened my eyes and saw him brandishing a poker stick towards me. I didn't see him bringing it down. I screamed and cried in agony as he continued to aim the metal rod at my feet. "Now try crawling away, you piece of shit," he crouched down as I continued wailing. The fear in my eyes put a malicious smirk on his face. "Now you can't run away," he breathed into my face. He didn't look angry anymore. A glimmer of hope rose in me that maybe he'd help me. Maybe he'd help stop the excruciating pain that was searing through my legs.

I could feel my heart break as he grabbed my hair and began dragging me upstairs. I desperately cried and screamed hoping that he'd let me go, my feet left a trail of blood behind me that made my stomach turn. He took me into his bedroom and locked the door.

I tried my best to forget the way he laid his hands on me and hurt me, but it was impossible to forget. All I felt most nights was pain, every part of my body was either bruised or bleeding. It felt right. I deserved it. I never hated him for what he did to me, but I did sometimes wonder if this was the pain my mother had felt before she died.

"I'm not who you think I am, but I promise I'll try to be who you want me to be," my breathing had become shallow. I wanted to lay down. It felt like I was going through the pain again. "I'm a monster, I didn't tell you because, I thought you'd leave me if I did," I was shaking uncontrollably and it was a wonder how I hadn't burst into tears.

"I'll leave if you want me to, I'll never be seen by anyone ever again," my ribs were tightening and it felt like I was about to pass out. "Please don't hate me," I didn't look at them. I realised that they weren't saying anything because the damage was done. They wanted to reject me.

It didn't occur to me that I was hyperventilating until I passed out.

We were all stuck in our places like statues. She poured her heart out to us but there wasn't a single thing we could say to make her feel better. We simply watched as she passed out, and for the first time in a millennia I felt my world go dark. I wanted to cry with her. She thought she was a monster.

We were all so rooted in our spots that it felt like the world would end if we moved forward to help her. Caius was the first to move. He turned around and punched Aro. "DID YOU KNOW?" Aro did nothing to retaliate as Caius grabbed him by the collar of his robe.

"TELL US... did you know?" Caius' voice cracked as he questioned Aro. Aro's eyes were glued onto the limp form of Lycoris, "I knew... there was something wrong," Aro replied so quietly I had just barely heard it. Caius' momentary misery turned back into anger. He slammed Aro onto the ground, breaking several tiles. Aro did nothing.

For the first time I hated the fact that I could see the bonds. Her pain was being injected into us through the mate bond. Caius' anger was his way of getting rid of the feeling and Aro's compliance was his.

I couldn't bring myself to look away from her. She needed our help. "Caius let Aro go, he didn't know about her origin," he ignored me. "He should've told us if he knew anything!" Caius was angry most of the time but I had never seen him so wrathful before. "Caius for fucks sake, she needs our help".

At this he let go of Aro who still had a blank expression on his face. We were all staring at her, afraid to go any closer, afraid that she'd break like glass.

I slowly made my way closer to her. She was whimpering. I gently picked her up cradling her against my chest. I'll never let anyone hurt you again.

Night had fallen by the time I had woken up, I was back in Aro's room, but the 3 I desperately wanted to see were nowhere. I lay on my side wondering what would happen next. My head was pounding and it felt like it was about to burst. The door opened and I shut my eyes tightly. The bed dipped near my legs. Someone sighed, "Lyra I know you're awake" Aro.

I tentatively opened my eyes but refused to look at him. He brought himself closer to me and knelt in front of me. "Why didn't you let me see?" His voice sounded rasp. "I was afraid you'd leave me," I was holding back my tears that were on the verge of exploding.

"Mia amor, I would never ever leave you. We would never ever leave you." He gently cupped my face and kissed my forehead. "We should've told you about our wives, we're sorry," his tone and his caress were both gentle. Almost as if he thought I would crack. With the Cullens when they walked on eggshells around me I felt weak and pathetic. With Aro it felt like I was loved and being cherished. "I love you," I hugged him before he could see the tears.

He quickly hugged me back and moved to sit on the bed so I was in his lap. His features were soft and his smile was caring. "Where are the others?" my voice told him how scared I was.

"Marcus is waiting for you on the roof and Caius is in the training room." He was threading his hand through my hair, making my headache slowly disappear. "When you're ready I'll take you to Marcus, he wishes to speak with you". The thought scared me, Marcus meant a lot to me, they all did. I hoped he would be just as forgiving as Aro. "Lycoris we're not being forgiving," Aro's tone suddenly turned serious as he turned me around to face him. "You did nothing wrong, okay? I need you to understand that what happened wasn't your fault." I looked away from him knitting my eyebrows together. "I'm tired Aro, I feel helpless," he took my hand and hugged me again.

"Can we go see Marcus?" My voice sounded more confident than I felt but Aro nodded.

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Aro left me at the door of the roof and gently nudged me to go forward. Marcus stood with his hands crossed behind his back looking off into the horizon. No doubt he was deep in thought, I contemplated going back but no quicker had I had the thought when he spoke. "Come closer Lyra, I don't bite, at least I won't bite you," his voice was heavy like Aro's. I walked over to him, not daring to look him in the eye.