This is life

I'm sad

But I'll deal with it

What did I do wrong

Why am I treated this way

I must have done something wrong

I'll deal with it

Eventually, I'll move on

Cope with it like everyone does

This is just life

Anxiety is normal, just taboo

Suicidal thoughts, just a phase

I'll push through

Bruises heal like cuts do

But these holes in the walls

I'll have to cover up

Reapply my makeup

Keep my head down

It's wrong if I speak up

A defiant and rebellious teen

Now a days labels mean everything

But that's just life

Can barely roll out of bed now

Thoughts starting to a get a little too loud

I'm an adult now

I thought it'd be over by this point

Sides getting thinner

Cuts getting deeper

Maybe it's time time that I left now

But that's just it

It's life

I should get over it

That's what they want though

For me to pull that trigger

For me to prove I'm a quitter

That I can't handle my triggers

You don't know the half of it

My diagnosis doesn't define me

And that doesn't mean that it's easy

Getting out of bed still makes me queasy

My thoughts still suffocate my very being

That trauma repeats itself like a movie

Every time I close my eyes

And that's life

But now I'm taking control of it

**please note most people with suicidal ideation don't actually want to die. They just want the pain to stop**