I was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria, waiting for the girls to arrive. The table had its edges revealing light brown, almost cream colored, plywood. My skin could feel the sticky feeling on it, making my eyebrows furrow. This place was a mix of sounds and odors; loud chatter, music playing, and other sounds I didn't know the origin of; the smell of pizza arousing my senses and other types of food people were consuming.

People were used to raise their voices, and sometimes conversations from other people were easy to hear. Some stories were dramatic, others were funny, while others were simply so far from interesting. But it was almost impossible not to hear the conversation taking place at the table on the side. That's why the girls and I tend to lower our voices, because the fear of anybody else knowing about our life scares the crap out of us.

I usually tend to use my phone when I'm alone waiting for someone, and this time was no exception. I saw I had two messages and to my surprise they were from Zach. You may ask yourselves, who the hell is this Zach? Well, long story short, he was a guy I used to like, but he ended up being an asshole, so I stopped liking him. He always seemed to find a way back to me. Always. I scrunched my eye brows as I start to read the messages.

Hey Lily.

How are you? :)

I rolled my eyes at the last message he sent. He included a freaking smiley face. How dare he? But, I didn't want him to feel bad. So I replied. Hesitating, not just a little, but a lot.

Hi, I'm okay. How are you?

I answered, not showing too much emotion. I chose the right amount of words and that was it. No smiley face or any emoji for that matter. I regret sending the message right at the second. I was begging the heavens above for him to ignore it, since I knew that he was going to get the wrong idea about us. I was trying to be friendly and that's it, but boys think that you want them when you smile at them and they think they can do whatever they want and a girl is going to fall really hard for them, sometimes is not that easy. Boys always think they got the upper hand, just for being boys. They don't know how wrong they are. Us girls, we are smarter. And that's a fact.

''Hi.'' Bella said, as she sat down on the seat across me. I waved and mouthed the word 'hi' at her.

''Guess who just texted me.'' I said, waving my phone in front of her eyes. The bright screen informed absolutely nothing to her, only my smiling Leo DiCaprio wallpaper. I put the phone on the table.

''Uh,'' She furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head no. ''I have no clue.''

''Zach.'' I blurred out, revealing the news to her. Her jaw dropped, but then went to her normal state.

She rolled her eyes, taking out a bite of her Rice Krispies treat. ''Ugh, what does he want?'' I chuckled in my head, her reaction was exactly the reaction I was waiting for.

''Fuck my life up.'' I joked. She blurred out a scoff and I grinned at her. We remained silent for awhile as other people's conversations were our background noise, like I said before, people were really loud in this place.

''I slept only four hours last night,'' After several minutes of no words traveling, she broke the silence. ''I'm insanely tired.'' Her head was against her hand, her elbow was supporting her as she closed her eyes, pretending she was about to sleep. She had troubles with her sleeping schedule. At night, insomnia always knew how to take the best of her. I was the total opposite, I had no trouble sleeping.

''I'm tired as well, I feel like shit.'' I was tired because I think eight hours of sleep are never enough. And I was feeling like total shit, thanks to Zach and his appearance back into my life. The thing with him was a tad complicated, he wasn't an awful person. His personality was poor and dreadful and he was conceited in every way, but he wasn't awful. He used to think I was madly in love with him, when I was just trying to be nice. Boys.

I noticed Alex and Zoey approaching us. They sat on the other two seats left. ''Hey girls.'' I waved, they seemed a little rattled.

''I fucking hate education.'' Alex spoke as Zoey and I laughed after her comment. Bella's sitting position was fixed as she heard Alex speaking.

I was chewing on my gum, watching her have the most sad and confused expression on her face. ''Seems like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'' I joked and she just gave me a ghastly glare. I chuckled, shaking my head as silence came back to us. Zoey took out her book, '50 Shades of Grey' and was full-on concentrated on it. Why would someone read that? It's porn, just watch it and save yourself from the excruciating details. I've tried reading it, but it just seems absurd how this type of abusive relationship is romanticized by people who don't know any better. But well, who am I to judge other people's tastes?

''I think I need a Coke.'' Alex took out her wallet and paced away from the table. She loved to drink Coke, it was part of her routine. She didn't drink anything else. It made her, her.

A sudden expression of surprise approached Bella's face. Just like something important popped in her head. ''I saw Matt when I was entering the cafeteria, you know?'' She spoke, moving her eyebrows up and down. ''You should talk to him.'' She suggested.

''What am I going to say to him?'' My eyes wide opened, really wondering about available topics useful for starting a conversation with Matt Galdieri.

''He doesn't bite. He's just a boy.'' She shrugged, looking straight at me. The tone in her voice was a bit condescending, but I just shook it off.

''He's a handsome boy,'' I rolled my eyes. ''It's hard to make a conversation when he literally takes my breath away.''

''You are over exaggerating.''

''Probably.'' I shrugged and then Bella just looked at me like I was some sort of freak. I was probably over exaggerating, but when you like someone and they don't like you back everything feels wrong and just with no taste whats over.

''Just talk to him,'' She fixed her hair. ''You know, I've been told he really likes to play soccer. You should go see him one of these days.''

''I don't want to be the crazy stalker who is in love with him!'' After speaking, I blurred out a laugh trying to add some humor to the topic since I was feeling Bella a little heavy on me. But it was a total fail, since no laugh or smile escaped from her lips. Truth is, that wasn't a bad idea after all, but he might get the wrong impression. What if he thinks I was stalking him? So I decided to scratch that plan out of my list. Or any other plan to be honest.

● ● ●

Alex and I arrived to our class and I was really looking forward to see Matt, but it was late and he wasn't here. I was in the mood to start a conversation and not a thirty second conversation, but a really interesting and long one. Of course, in-the-middle-of-the-teacher-speaking wasn't a good scenario, but walking-out-of-class-side-by-side was a good one. A sigh escaped my lips as I gave up all hopes on seeing him, he probably had stuff to do and time caught him. The class already started and he wasn't seen in no seat around the class, so I decided to focus on today's lesson.

The sound of heels on the floor distracted my writing, then I reached to the teacher. She was walking around the classroom talking to us about women's role in mass communications. ''Actually women's role is very little, and not good looking to some people,'' She paused. ''Even though mass media has saturated the world and by that I mean the television, radio, computers, newspapers, magazines, cellphones...and other platforms of communication,'' She was doing some movements in the air with her hands. ''They all have one purpose...and that is the one to communicate and inform the people about current events occurring around the world,'' My eyes reached hers, she nodded, and I gave a nod back. ''The values of every existing society is reflected in the contents they chose to show in their media and think about how unfair is that women, have little or no say in that. Sometimes we are the brains behind a big and important event or project, and we are always-'' She stopped, looking at one of our classmates who was raising her hand.

''I'm sorry to interrupt,'' The blonde giggled, nervously. ''But I personally think things have changed for us women. Organizations and incredibly brave women have strive to improve the situation you are about to mention or were mentioning.'' Her voice was low and shy before finishing her thought.

''You think so, Laine?'' The girl nodded. I saw a nervous look across her face, as if she was dying out of embarrassment. Like she regretted her spoken words. Another girl raised her hand. ''Yes, Marianne?''

''I think it's sad how women are always portrayed as the less intelligent ones on the list and it's hard for us to get important jobs such as CEOs or whatever,'' She looked down. ''Just because we don't have a penis.'' She was right. A few giggles were scattered around the classroom, including mine. I tried to cover it, using my mouth.

''I think it's wrong to create gender roles,'' Everybody's eyes were on the teacher, mine too. ''Every single thing in this universe has a negative side, and the media is no exception. Thanks to that, gender roles have been created and have become more relevant to people these days. Although the media has played an important part in helping to highlight women's issues, it also has had a negative impact-''

''Also,'' I interrupted. ''The idea that women are only necessary in the kitchen or taking care of the kids, like Marianne said about the CEOs and important jobs,'' I cleared my throat, pausing. ''Uh, we are never on the upper hand. Sometimes we are noticed in that way, because we don't prove people wrong. We always settle. Or at least, some of the women population do.'' I wasn't sure about speaking, I had a bigger and clearer thought in my head though, but I couldn't transform it into a coherent sentence.

The teacher looked at her wrist watch. ''Nice thought, but class is over kids. Have a lovely day.'' A sigh escaped my lips, time flew by too fast. And I was glad it was finally over.

The hallway was crowded with students walking out of class and heading to their different meeting points. In our case, the cafeteria was ours. It was sort of boring but you could see almost everyone, so at the same time it was pretty cool. After seconds ignoring the vibrations coming from my phone, I took it out from my pocket and it was Zach, he replied to my text. I had no one else to blame, but me.

I'm good. What are you up to?

Long time, no talk. ;)

A WINK? He is seriously, the most annoying dude ever, but oh well. That was my call.

Yeah, I'm just heading home.

I responded with those simple words, since he'd probably want to see me, I was right. He responded within seconds.

I wanted to see you...

'Jerk', I thought to myself as I put the phone back in my pocket without replying. Alex and I got to the cafeteria. I decided to ignore his text for as long as I could, since I was in no mood to put up with his ridiculous non sense. As I mentioned earlier, he used to think I was madly in love with him. I mean, I used to like him back when we tried to get into a relationship, but it was over the second I got the news he wasn't good. And to be clear and to define a straight line here, there's a difference between liking someone and being head over heels for someone and it was all about the first, nothing less and nothing more. He just didn't get that.

''Got a text from your baby boy?'' Alex elbowed me, as she said the words joking. She knew it was Zach.

''I don't even know why I take my time replying.''

''He's not for you,'' We sat across to each other on the same table as always. ''I mean, he's an ass and I don't even get why he takes the time to talk to you, like why? Isn't it clear that you guys are way over?''

''I don't know, I just...'' I zoned out as my eyes saw Matt. ''Crap.'' I lowered my sight, trying to avoid any eye contact with him. It'd be plain embarrassing.

She turned to look at the location my eyes were at...him. ''He's really handsome.'' Alex spoke. She turned around to look at me, chuckling about my school girl reaction.

''Damn it, I know.'' I sighed, looking at him. He was laughing with his friends and he looked even more handsome, it's good to know what a beautiful smile can cause inside of you. Like sparks or butterflies or tingles. I don't know, it was good seeing him smile. I decided to look away, for all I know, I didn't want him to catch me staring at him like some creep.

● ● ●

I had my make up off as I was sitting on my bed, reading 'The Fault in Our Stars' by John Green. I was in love with the book by page 20, I had to give it to Zoey this time. She was right about everything this book had. A blanket was covering half of my body, as a mug with chamomile tea was placed still on my night stand. I bit my nail as I followed the words with my eyes. I was imagining the characters in my head and every dialogue included, how they looked and their facial expressions. It made me feel like I was experiencing the situations. Perks of enjoying reading. My reading was suddenly interrupted by Zach, again. But this time, he was calling me. I hesitated, I didn't know what to do, so I didn't touch the phone, but a few seconds after the first call, he called again. The screen was glowing bright, making me feel overwhelmed by the amount of light being transmitted.

I raised the phone to my ear, hesitating. ''Hello?''

''Lily.'' His voice was raspy.

''Zach...'' I pressed my lips together, feeling utterly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

''Are you busy?'' He asked. I was imagining him. Maybe he was sitting in that cream and white sofa in his living room, with his elbows supported on his knees as he was holding the phone to his ear, waiting for my reply.

''I am reading a book, but is there something I can help you with?''

''I just wanted to say that what happened before was a complete misunderstanding. I-I was never dating anyone else and people are too busy with other people's lives, they don't focus on their own. So...uh, I'm sorry for that.'' I rolled my eyes, playing with the pages of the book.

''That's in the past, I really couldn't care any less. It's been almost a year since we last spoke.'' I blurred out the words, flat, with no emotion. I was trying to send him a message, because I really wasn't into his apology or talking to him about anything else.

''I just feel like getting that out of my chest.'' I scratched my forehead, figuring out what else to say to him.

''Listen, it's okay. I don't need to hear apologies,'' I cleared my throat. ''We are just friends and uh,'' I sighed. ''I'm pretty much over it.'' I confessed, not expecting any other word coming from him.

''Lily, it was plain wrong.''

''Listen, I really need to go,'' I lied. ''Talk to you later.'' I ended the call before he could say anything else. I sighed, I was really rattled right now. I never expected this call or to hear him apologize. And the fact is, it was kind of late for an apology. I turned the light off and then I closed my eyes. Rest was everything I needed.