"Help!"

"Help!" ran a screaming woman through the emergency entrance carrying a crying toddler in her arms.

"Please help" she repeated again.

"His arm.... It's burnt" I heard her faint scream, coming from the main entrance of the busy hospital.

"My son, please," she said, wailing for her son.

"Doctor?" The woman screamed running through the ER for someone to give aid to her son.

"Where's the doctor?" I heard again as I stopped typing into my recent patient's EMR, grabbing my stethoscope and running out to help.

"Someone please call the doctor" the woman screamed desperately again.

Running to the main entrance I see the other nurses and come rushing to the woman's aid, while my colleague Mathew lays the toddler on the hospital bed.

"Calm down mam, your son will be alright. Nothing will happen to him and I can assure you. My name is Zara and I'll be your son's nurse" I introduced myself as I tried to console her.

She nodded her head wiping her tears away. Grabbing the paper work from the receptionist, handing them over to her to fill out as she tried to explain how the five year old child burnt himself.

I made sure to make note of all the details of her explanation before I called one of the ER doctors and ran to check up on the five year old named Aiden.

Upon reaching his cubicle my heart instantly dropped at the sight. The poor child was crying in pain as he pointed at his burnt arm, with his tiny fingers to show me and the other nurse.

"Hey, it'll be alright honey. The doctor will check and see what's wrong" I said, trying to quiet him down while checking his vitals and cleaning the wound and then running it through some cool water for five minutes.

Dr. Burke walked just in time along with his mother to inspect his wound. I give him a quick summary of the patient's wound and his chief complaint.

A little after twenty minutes Dr. Burke had him all set to go after dressing his wound and prescribing him a

antibiotic ointment and pain medication acetaminophen. It was a first degree burn, so not that bad but I can't imagine the pain this poor soul had to go through.

"Since you were such a good boy and listened to me, I got a little surprise for you Aiden" I said cheerfully.

"Surprise, what is it?" He asked excitedly, waving his left arm in the air.

I reached inside my pocket to show him the lollipop that I grabbed from the receptionist desk earlier to give him.

"Candy!" He screamed happily, reaching for it.

I handed it over to him as his mother reminded him to thank me before leaving.

"Thaank youuu!" He says extending the appreciative words.

"Aww, you are so adorable" I said, hugging him to say goodbye.

I looked at my watch after their departure to see if my shift was over. Perfect only five more minutes left until I leave for the day.

I am so tired, I just want to go to bed and sleep for days. I've been here since six in the morning and it's already six in the afternoon.

I mean I love my job honestly but sometimes I just hate the twelve hour shifts. It just gets too hectic with so many patients, especially in the Emergency unit.

It gives me great pleasure to meet and care for my patients. On a personal level, it's satisfying to make someone smile even just a little bit. Though I know that it does have cons too; but I can't complain now since I chose to do this as a profession, I thought to myself, smiling.

Anyways thank god I don't have work tomorrow so I can go visit Ammi and my family. It's been so long since I haven't seen my cute and adorable nephew and nieces too I thought smiling, getting ready to leave saying goodbye to all my co-workers.

"STOP! ...please, mat Karo (don't do this)" I cried as my legs thrashed there in the air trying to get him off of myself.

"Leave me!" I cried out screaming. I continued to struggle as my body squirmed against his, but he struck at me once more to shut me up.

"Stop fucking moving" he screamed at me as tears well up in my eyes and kept trying to move away.

"NO!"

"NOO" I screamed, shaking.

My eyes snapped open, I was covered in cold sweat, my heart pounding really fast. Looking up at the ceiling thinking of the nightmare that I've been having almost every night.

Wiping the sweat off my forehead I looked around my room for a cup of water, which was on the other bedside table.

I moved to the other side of my bed, grabbing the cup with my shaking hands and gulping it down.

I held onto my chest to relax but it wasn't helping as the memories were coming back into my head and my heart was aching once more.

Two years have passed since that horrible night. I try my best to forget that dreadful night but I can't. It stills comes to haunt me.

Even after the two years that have passed by it still seems like everything happened yesterday. I've cried myself to sleep every night after that horrible night.

I gave up on contacting my family as I felt as if they've left me to suffer all of this. They were after all the main cause of destroying my life.

Most importantly Abu and Feroze lala, as they were the one who decided to take upon the biggest decision of my life which came out to be my biggest nightmare.

Especially Abu and Feroze lala, they're the ones who made the most important decision of my life, which turned out to be my worst nightmare.

I remember three weeks after everything that had happened I went to visit my family, to tell them everything. But Ami she..... she didn't listen rather her being worried about something else.

"Ami? (Mom?)" I said looking down at my hands.

"Jee beta, kya howa? (Yes my child, what happened)" She asked, walking up to me.

I kept my head down as tears started to stream down my eyes. Placing my thumb under my chin she made me face her.

"Kya huwa meri jaan, ro kyon rahi ho? Beta. (What happened, why are you crying? Tell me)" she asked again looking into my eyes full of tears.

"AMMI!" Hugging her in a bone crushing hug I cried, cried my heart out to her. Trying to lessen the pain I felt for the past two days. Hoping that the pain would go away.

"Zara meri bachi, Kya howa? Mujhe bahod parishani ho rahi hai ab. Allah ke wastay kuch toh bolo (Zara my child, what happened? You're getting me really now. For the sake of Allah please say something)" Ami bellowed, worriedly gently caressing my long hair to calm me down.

"AMMI! ....p-please. P-please lejaun mujhe yaha se. N-nahi rehna hai mujhe yaha p-please (MOM! .....p-please take me away from here. I d-don't want to live here anymore p-please)" I begged.

She broke our hug that instant and faced me. Her hands on my shoulders as she cried along with me and asked "Haider ne kuch kaha hai? Usne kuch bhola tumhe? (Did Haider say something? Did he say something to you?)" she asked worriedly.

"Sirf bhola nahi hai, kiya bhi (he didn't just say something but did as well)" I replied, holding onto her hand in my palms.

"Kya? Kya kiya usne? (What? What did he do?)" she asked fearfully as If she knew the next few words in advance.

"U-usne.... Usne..... m-mere s-saath (he.... He..... with me)" I tried to say but stopped because I could even let the words out my mouth other than bawling my eyes out to her but she understood. Just by looking at me.

She just stood there stunned as I told her everything from the very beginning to now as best as I could. while crying along with me.

I exclaimed to her how he wasn't happy about this marriage as well but to this day I still don't know why. He never revealed to me why but I don't care anymore, I just want it all to end now at this point. I can't take it anymore.

"N-nahi rehna hai mujhe yaha Ami. Nahi reh sakti hoon main ase.... ase insan ke saath. ......A-abu aur Feroze lala ne teek nahi kiya mere saath. (I don't want to live there anymore mom. I can't live like this..... with a man like him. .....dad and Feroze bhai didn't do the right thing with me)" I said.

"NAHI! Nahi kar sakti ho tum aisa. Talaq toh bilkul bhi nahi (no, you can't do this. And divorce, never)" she said quickly wiping her tears away.

"Ami nah- (mom, no-)" I tried to say arguably, standing up for myself, but she got up standing tall above me as I remained seated on my bed still.

"Hamare puray khandan mein kisi ki talaq nahi howi hain beta. Yeh kaise keh sakti ho Tum? (No one in our entire family has ever been divorced. How can you say this?)" she said.

"Upar se log kya kahenge? T-tume to pata hai na talaq hui larki ki kya hesyat hoti hai mashra main. (What will people say? You know how divorced women stand in this society)" she tried to explain.

Mujhe koi farq nahi parta ke loge ya mashre wale kya kahenge. Main bus is insane se nahi jee sakti. Main Armaan, Hamdan aur Azaan bhai ko bhi bata dongi agar- (I don't care what people and the society has to say. I just can't live with this man anymore. I'm also telling Armaan, Hamdan, and Azaan bhai too-)" I tried to finish my sentence when she raised her voice at me.

"Khabardar agar tumne aisa kuch kiya. Apne bhaiyon ko tum kuch nahi batao gi! (don't you dare do something like that. You will not tell your brother anything!)"

"Ami kya ho gaya Aap ko? kese keh sakti hai ye? ...Ami? (Mom what's wrong with you? How can you say this? Mom?)" I asked confusedly.

"Beta, main tumhare bale ke liye keh rahi hoon (I'm saying this for your own benefit my child)" she snapped at me.

"Nahi keh rahi hai mere bale ke liye nahi, apni izat bachane ke liye. Agar Tumhe meri itni Fiqar hoti toh Ami app mera saath deti aur larti mere liye Abu aur feroze bhai se (no, it's not for my benefit but to save your own reputation. If you cared that much about me then you should be on my side fighting for me with dad and Feroze)" I cried.

Galti ki maine yahan aa kar, nahi aana chahiye tha mujhe. Un logo se madad mangne ke liye, Jis ne khud iss azab me dala hai (I made a mistake coming here, I should've never come here. Asking for help from the ones who are responsible for putting me in this torment themselves)" I said, grabbing my bag, getting up to leave.

"Zara... beta mera yeh- (Zara... my child, I-)" spoke when I cut her off saying "parishan math hoiye Ami, main kuch galat nahi karougi jiski wajah se hamari khandan ki izaat barbad ho jaye. Bus ek Ba'ath yaad rakh na Ami, aap aur Abu mujhse kuch expect math karna iske baad (don't worry mom, I won't do something that would ruin our families reputation. Just don't expect anything from me after this)" I said disheartedly.

"Allah hafiz, pareshan mat ho Azaan bhai chodhdenge (bye, don't worry Azaan will drop me off)" I informed her and left before she came near to stop me.

I couldn't stay there any longer and if I did I felt like I would've passed out. Heading towards the bathroom by my room, I slammed the door shut after me, resting my hands down on the sink facing the mirror.

I can't believe my ears. My mother! My own freaking biological mother would rather have me live with a rapist than ruining our so called family reputation. I can't, I seriously can't believe it I thought while crying in the bathroom and styling in there for a little longer.

That is the reason why to this day I'm still tied down to this man. Honestly if i had a choice I would have ran away from this whole situation and fought for my rights but I don't think I'll be able to live on my own without my family. They are the only people I genuinely care about, I don't think I'll be able to live without any connection with Armaan, Hamdan, and Azaan bhai. Our bond is just that close.

Though I was dying, I wanted to ask for help from my brother so they could set me free from this unwanted marriage and tell them everything but I couldn't because of Ami. I decided to not say a word and suffer through this miserable life.

All I could do now is pray to Allah that he somehow helps me out in this situation without any obstacles. I curse him to this day for Allah to punish him for his inhuman act towards me but he is somehow doing well for someone who has ruined others lives.

Since that dreadful night I had decided to not even bother to acknowledge his existence. I never wanted to face him but unfortunately not everything can go my way as my family and his thought we still are a happily married couple.

Though my relationship with his mother is rocky now since I can't fulfill her wish of giving her a grandchild. I could honestly care less about giving her damn son a child. I'm happy I didn't end up being pregnant after that brutal tourturen of his.

Her continuous guilt tripping and taunting about being infertile makes me feel worthless and worthless, especially when it comes to having a baby.

I'm fine without being a mother right now. I don't want my child to be born as a result of rape and later discover that he or she was created as a result of his or her father sexually assaulting me. That is the very last thing I would want for my child.

I despise him for what he did, and I pray that Allah deprives him as harshly as possible for the pain he has caused me.

I pray to Allah that he never finds contentment, and that he suffers as much as he has caused me to grieve. I'm very certain I won't be satisfied throughout this life until I witness his end.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to bear seeing them suffer and be in misery as a result of his acts.

Although it is not my fault that I am infertile. I do want to have my own kids. In fact, I've always wanted to start a family and live in a beautiful home near the city, but it appears that Allah has different plans.

I changed into my scrubs and got ready for work after completing my Fajr prayer and making sure to recite my daily Yaseen.

I dash down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Maria aunty and Belle are frantically preparing breakfast. Typically, when she prepares breakfast for me and him, she does not appear bothered or stressed.

They're usually really relaxed when they're working, which I don't mind. I don't think he has an issue with it as well, though, as long as they do their work before the end of the day.

Is there something I'm missing? I was thinking to myself. Are we expecting visitors? I asked myself, trying to recall something, but nothing came to mind. It's too soon to guess honestly.

"Good morning," I greeted them as I walked over to the fridge to get myself a glass of orange juice. "Good morning," they replied in unison.

I returned their puzzled stare, but they didn't even bother to look up from their task while filling my glass cup.

"Why are you people acting so strange, it's not like Nazri aunty and Bashar uncle are here?" With a tiny laugh, I jokingly said as I took a sip of my juice.

"That's because she is!" Belle replied.

As soon as I heard what Belle said, I almost choked on my juice.

"What?" I asked, my mouth open in surprise, when they both stared at me in the eyes as they nodded their heads up and down.

"When? How come I didn't know? Oh my god, I'm sure she found out everything. Didn't she?" I inquired, rambling.

"No, she hasn't, so don't be concerned." Maria aunty added, "She got here before you and retired straight to bed, but thank heavens you woke up before her." Thank God, she scared the crap out of me for a second.

"She came to pay Mr. Shah a visit and will leave in the afternoon. .....Mr. Shah and Nazri mam will be here in five minutes, so stay here and I'll get the breakfast table ready in two minutes," she explained.

"Sure," I said as I sat down on one of the stools at the counter, dreading the horrible breakfast that awaited me.

Should I skip breakfast for today? I mean, my lunch break will be at twelve o'clock, which is six hours from now. Will I be able to make it though until then?

Oh my gosh, I can't even stay awake without my morning cup of coffee, so how am I going to make it through these six hours without any food in my system?

I'm such a sucker for food. There's nothing that could possibly go wrong with food; I'll be upset for a second and then bang! When I finish my meal, I feel satisfied and energized. That's how badly I can't survive without it.

I guess I'll have to confront them, but at least I'll be able to get some food into my system, I reasoned.

Hearing Maria aunty inform me that breakfast is ready and that I must go serve Haider and Nazri aunty, while she handed me a tray with tea. I was ready to say something, but she walked away.

I slowly walked to the dining room, which was close to the kitchen. As I came, Nazri aunty and Haider were already seated and enjoying their meals.

"Assalam-U-Alaikum (Peace be upon you)" I remarked as I set the tray on the table and handed Haider his cup of coffee.

"Waleikum Assalam" she replied with no interest as I got up to give Haider his omelette and then sat alongside him, facing her to start my own meal. In front of our family, we have to act like a married couple, which I despise. Why couldn't he just put an end to everything between us?

"Beta Tum ise ghar par rehane ke liye kyun nahi kehte? Aese main yeh ghar ka hayal bhi rakhe ghi, phir tumhe Maria aur uski beti ki bhi zarorate nahi hogi (son, why don't you ask her to stay at home? She can take care of the house and then you won't need Maria and her daughters help)" she seethed as I took a bite from my food, realizing what she just said.

Iske naukri ka tumhe ya Hume to koi fayda nahi, kum as kum tumhare ghar ke kam ke liye tu acha hoga ("Her working benefits neither us nor you; at the very least, she'll be at home doing your work for you)", she added as I was about to take another bite, I fumbled with my fork.

"Aunty ye aap kya keh rahi hai? Main job kaise chor sakti hoon? (aunty what are you saying? How can I quit my job?)" I said facing her.

"Kyon nahi chor sakti? (why can't you quite?)" she inquired, her gaze rising from her plate to meet mine.

"Apne shohar ka khayal nahi rakhna? Aur uski zaroorat ka (you don't want to take care of your husband and his needs?)" she said, giving a sour expression on her face.

Aunty Allah ne aap ke bete ko sab kuch diya hai, wo khud apna khayal rakh sakta hai. Meri koi zaroorat nahi ahi use (Aunty, God has blessed your son with all that he needs, and he is capable of taking care of himself. He doesn't require my help)" I clarified sharply.

Ek aur baath, maine itni taleem iss liye nahi ki ke main ghar bait kar ek housewife ban jao aur tumhare bete ki ek ek baat suno. Koi naukar nahi hoon main iski (and one more thing, I didn't go to school to stay at home being a housewife, listening to your son's demands and nor I'm I his maid)" I snarled pointing my fork at him.