Humming the lullaby that Mother hummed for me and Amy before sleep time, I checked Jamie with his superman cap in my arms. He is sleeping, holding his cap tight. That peaceful look on his face convinces me to fight every day. I know, people around me are now concerned about my future and few would be believing of me as insane. But, I know what I am doing is right.

This is what a wife is supposed to do, support her husband. Mother's words still resonate in my mind. Even after 16 years. She is missing from my life but her words still vex me... Everyday.

I took the baby monitor with me and left the lights on the table lamp on. Jamie usually gets scared when he doesn't find me near him, especially in dark.

Walking in dark, alone I explored the mansion like every night. My tradition from the past 15 years. This is the habit I picked after I had my daughter, Cherish. She was a wild toddler, and I was too young to handle her. I had no idea how to be a mother, and neither I was helped. They wanted a son; I gave them a girl.

"Would you like to see her?" I asked with a low voice, not sure of what would be my husband's reaction.

"Her?" He frowned and finally, look at me. This is one of the rare moments when he glanced at me.

I couldn't help but smile. "Yes... She was born 3 weeks back. She is healthy and...."

He arched his eyebrow up with annoyance, and I realize this is my limit. I should seal my mouth.

"Which her?" He was ready to attack with calmness. And that's alarming.

"Our daughter," I was trembling with fear... Fear of his unknown actions or his known actions.

"I wanted a son. So, I don't have a daughter... Neither I want any." He yelled so loud that I lost my balance and fell on the floor.

The hall was filled with the cries of our daughter. She was in the guestroom near the drawing hall. She must have heard her father's outburst.

"But she is your child." I tried to convince him... Risking my life. Yes, my life. He tried to kill me when I told him that we are having a girl before, and this news is definitely neglected by him.

"Is there anything special about her?" He crouches down near me and whispered dangerously.

I wanted to tell him that our daughter has his features. She has his eyes, his hair, but I chose silence out of fear.

He scoffed and he left... Leaving me and our crying daughter in the mansion, again... Like every night.

*****

"Did you forget about your appointment with the psychiatrist?" Norma entered the kitchen with Jamie in her arms. Her joyful vibes brought a smile to my face.

"You don't like her," I stated, as she always refers to her as THE PSYCHIATRIST and she shrugged off... LIKE ALWAYS. "Why?" This is the first time that I have asked her this question. I never bothered myself with this question but after hearing the interview of James Carter two nights back, I feel different. I want to know why Norma Brown doesn't like Dr Anastasia Harrington.

I am curious.

Something doesn't feel right.

She answered my question with another question. "Is everything fine?" She was concerned.

Settling Jamie on his high chair, she looked at me. I have never seen this old lady so tense. Isn't it funny that she was chirpy a few seconds back and now, she is concerned? Seems serious like a person who just received the bad news of life.

"Did Susan say something to you?" She approached me, ready to accuse her daughter-in-law.

"No, she didn't say anything..... She was like usual." I looked at her. "Why...... is there anything I should know?" I don't know from where I am getting this sudden boost of energy of confrontation. I have never been this bold. NEVER.

After my failed trip to see my husband and hearing him, acknowledge me, something inside me has been involved. Now, I am seeing her like I have never seen before. As if she has a different side.

"Why do I feel you know something?" I added.

"And why do I feel you know something that I should know?" She threw another question. Then, Heaving a sigh of defeat, she hugged me. She understood my condition. The ache of my heart. She has seen me struggling, fighting, and giving up every day. She considers me as her daughter.

"I saw his interview," I mumbled looking at Jamie, who was busy flying his aeroplane. He is so innocent. He deserves to be with his father. And he will have his father. Even if I have to act like a shameless person in this scenario.

"They are rumours." She breaks down. Why she is the one crying? I should be the one crying. This is injustice, that came to me.

"You are right, they were the rumours." I hugged her back and tried to console myself. My voice is almost about to give up, but I have to be strong. Jamie needs his strong mother, just like the flower of Snapdragon which resembles graciousness and strength. "He hasn't contacted me yet... Even after the interview."

"Anna... He is not your man."

"I know, but he is the father of my children. I don't have any choice."

"Yes, you do. They don't know about Jamie, you can leave. I will talk to my son. David will help you. You can leave with this little boy."

"I am not going to leave my daughter here... with the Carter." I dismissed the conversation.

*****

"Olivia, when she will be free?" I asked the receptionist, again. My time is precious. I left my son with Norma so that I could attain the session here and Now, Dr Harrington is busy.

I was called by the clinic that due to my case sensitivity, I will be the only patient that Dr Harrington would see but now, I have been waiting for her for the past 15 minutes.

I am impatient. Jamie is the drama king when it comes to bedtime. Norma will not be able to handle him and Daniel... I can't imagine what would be happening in the house of the Brown family.

In the absence of an answer, I noticed Olivia was missing, so I decided to walk into the cabin, where I witness Dr Harrington standing on the balcony looking at the road while a man is sitting at the table.

They were busy discussing something, and are unaware of my presence. I rushed toward them... To find my husband watching Dr Harrington.

"It was embarrassing. You shouldn't have said my name. What were you thinking?" Dr Harrington said with a stern voice.

"I was thinking about you, Anna." James shrugged off.

What?

She is Anna.

Dr Anastasia Harrington is Anna of James.

"Then stop thinking about me." She laughed. My husband is a charmer, despite his age. He knows the art of charms.

"I can't... How about my penthouse again tonight? Then you would be thinking about me." His words disheartened me. He has a penthouse here and yet never came home from past 2 years.

"I am not your booty call. Why don't you go to your wife and reconcile with her?" She was proposing. "Having sex with me will never help you."

They are physically involved with each other.

"It's meaningless... You know that we both close our eyes thinking of another person. If you don't want this then let me know. We both have other options too." Hearing his statements, every fog of doubt was clear. He was having an affair with my psychiatrist.

My husband and his mistress fooled for years...