The aftershock of what went down at the lacrosse game was still lingering over my head.

To kiss my best friend was one thing, but to kiss my best friend who already had a girlfriend was an entirely different thing. It was fucking sick. I was fucking sick because I was enabling cheating. I always painted Brooke as the bad guy, but right now, I was the homewrecker and the biggest villain of them all.

Step one of self reflection; understanding that I was the villain.

So what now?

I tried to push the dark thoughts to the back of my head. I was currently in History and had to study for the test coming up on Friday. My notes sprawled across my desk that Colton helped me write were going into one side of my brain out completely out the other. I bit my lip.

Speaking of Colton, I hadn't checked my phone ever since the game and he hadn't been at school for weeks. Straight absences, and yes, although a part of me cared, another part couldn't stand the pure guilt ripping at my chest every time I looked at him or had to interact with him.

Him not being here for the past weeks did in fact allow me time to reflect as Anthony had suggested, but I couldn't help but feel a gut wrenching sense of dread. I knew that whatever was started that night of the lacrosse game wasn't anywhere near finished, and to think otherwise was to be an idiot.

Suddenly, a loud swing of the door opening shocked me out of my own thoughts.

Everyone looked up at the disturbance.

I wish I hadn't.

Because standing in the doorway, in all his 6'5 glory, was Colton. It was the middle of the school day.

Winter coat still on, hinting that he hadn't been to any of his other classes and just drove into school.

And to add to that, his eyes were bloodshot red. Bloodshot red and not looking at a single other thing other than me.

He was smashed.

"Mr. Whitman, is there something I can do for you?" My history teacher asked curiously. Cautiously.

Colton didn't take his intoxicating eyes off of me. "I need to speak with Asha." It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

I worriedly looked to Mr. Lau for permission and he nodded, a concerned expression upon his face. "You may be excused."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I gathered my things and rushed out of the door. I shut it gently before turning to Colton, confused.

As I made it outside, Colton's eyes roamed my body, taking in my full appearance. Recently, I had found myself becoming more insecure under his powerful gaze. Today I had volleyball practice right after last period and so I decided on my casual spandex shorts and a hoodie.

"Colton, is everything okay?" Was the first thing that came to mind and so I asked it.

"Do you know how many times I've called you? Did you see any of my missed calls? Where the fuck where you?" He whispered shouted. I could hear the pure agony ripping through his voice. His red teary bloodshot eyes did not help his case.

He looked frantic. Unstable.

Something else was clearly bothering him.

"I thought you needed space. I thought we both did because what we did was wrong, C."

"You're supposed to be my best friend. I got arrested a week before one of the biggest nights in my life--"

"You what?" The fuck? He got arrested? Jesus christ. I guess I really hadn't been paying attention.

"After you left I was trying to tell you not to leave yet because there'd still be cops on the lookout. And you did. You still left, Asha. And when I tried to find you, they pinned me."

"How the fuck was I supposed to know that?"

"The point is I needed you. Not fucking space." He spat. His eyes burned with anger but underneath it all I could see one thing the most: hurt.

Biggest nights of his life? What the hell was he talking about?

I was so confused until it finally it me.

I had to reach through the depths of my memories to recover what he was talking about.

The banquet ceremony.

Every year, each November his parents would come fly from the Netherlands to Washington, D.C for the annual Whitman Investments banquet. It was kind of Colton's (rich) family tradition of Thanksgiving. Except, instead of warm welcoming family and friends, it was more so just more cold, judgmental rich people who only went to receive awards and boost their egos.

It was a big deal. Colton had talked about it ever since the beginning of our friendship, dreading, yet also anticipating the exciting events of his swear in that would happen the year he turned 18. And this year, it was especially special because word got around the rich and there were rumors for a new heir to the Whitman company.

That 'heir' being Colton. The one and only son of the Whitman family, authorized to inherit everything if anything dire happened to Mr. Whitman, his father.

This year, it was super important to Colton because he was finally being sworn in. Sworn into the family business to which he would probably take over since his parents were getting older as each day passed by. His father had been on and off diagnosed with dementia and Parkinson's, which was a disease that slowly ate away the brain. His father was the head of the company, and when he died (or stepped own), Colton would be the sit-in chief of command. And he needed to be perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect, because all eyes would be on him.

Imagine the responsibility of hundreds of years of family business being dropped onto you as just barely an adult. He was 17, turning 18 soon and that's why the swear in had to happen.

That's why he had to be perfect.

But then boom. He got arrested (partially, if not all my fault), and his parents were probably infuriated with him, and now he has to do everything in his power to prove that he's not some irresponsible kid.

And I wasn't there. I wasn't there to comfort him in anyway whatsoever, and as a best friend, the core thing you are supposed to do is be there when no one else is. And I failed at that. I failed at the most simple, simple task and that was probably what hurt him the most.

It was silent for a few seconds. I felt guilty. I really did. The past few weeks whenever I wasn't working at the museum or at school, I was with Anthony. Studying. The entire time, I kept getting calls from Colton but most days I was too high to return any of them or any of the texts. But I saw them. I saw them all.

Just couldn't bring myself to respond.

I guess, subconsciously, I was trying to push away anything that had to do with Brooke and Colton. I never asked to be apart of this shitty love triangle, but here I was. Trapped. And I guess by wanting to be as far away from the burden of the secret, I pushed away Colton in the process.

"I-I'm sorry, C." I let out in a whisper. I felt the tears prick my eyes, "I was with a friend. Tony."

I didn't want to look up. I really didn't. But I had to, and as I did, it felt like I was looking at someone finally break. Tears glossed his eyes as his eyebrows were pulled up. The look of pure betrayal.

"What?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but I heard it.

"T-Tony. We've been hanging out the past weeks and-"

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. I felt like I was waiting for a bomb to go off waiting for his response.

"Colton I'm so fucking sorry I know I should have called you back as soon as I saw the texts but most days we were too high and i could barely even form a-"

His bloodshot eyes shot up to mine. "What, did you guys fuck? Is that what it is? You're blowing me off for some guy who can't even satisfy you?"

I was shocked, to say the least, at his absurd accusation. I don't know where any of those thoughts came from on his part, or why he even cared, but I was getting pissed. He had no right to talk about me like that. I scoffed. "Like you can?"

That struck a nerve in him. It happened in a flash as I was pushed into a supply closet and only the sound of my breath and rapid heartbeat was heard. I was shoved against the wall with Colton towering above me, holding my arms in place over my head.

"What the fuck, Colton?!" I shouted.

"Why are you doing this to me, Ash?" His voice was low. And he was close. He was so goddamn close, I felt like I couldn't breathe in a good way. "Why are you punishing me?"

"Colton what the hell are you talking about? I already said I was sorry about Tony and not picki-"

"Stop saying his name."

I was taken aback at his commanding tone.

"W-what? Why?"

"He doesn't know you. He doesn't know shit about you. Not like I do," Each word he spat, he moved closer and closer.

I needed to put a stop to this.

"I- look. I have no clue what you're saying, Colton. You have no idea what you're saying. You're going to regret all of this tomorrow morning when you remember that you have a perfect life all lined up for you, and Brooke McKailey is waiting for you at the golden doors. I'm just Asha. Your best friend. Nothing more. Nothing--"

He grabbed my loose arm and slammed it up against the wall again, getting way closer than before.

Now, his body was pressed against mine and I could feel everything.

"God, will you shut up for once?" He seethed, "Stop acting all innocent when you know what you're doing."

"You're high, Colton." Was the only thing I could think of.

"Have you ever thought to ask yourself why? Why I'm always high around you?"

I took a shaky breath. I hated to admit how aroused I was getting by the position we were in.

"I'm high because I constantly need distractions. I couldn't keep doing it to myself, Asha. I tried. I really did," he laughed bitterly to himself. " I know I shouldn't be thinking the thoughts I do. I know I shouldn't be thinking of you to get it up while I'm with Brooke. And I know you feel the same way too so please. Just for a second, stop pretending with me. I could care less about Brooke Mckailey right now. I need you, Asha. Not her. Please."

I could definitely feel the need pressed against me. I glanced down wearily and saw a huge bulge formed in his jeans. His hardened cock was straining to be released against the jean material and as I looked back up to his eyes, the only thing he was pleading for was that exact release.

"I'm your best friend." I tried to be firm with my voice, but my voice came out shaky.

"You know that's not all we are," he whispered, his face getting closer. I could feel his breath fan my face and his lips were cherry red. His eyes bored into mine, practically begging for permission.

"You're wrong. We're j-just friends. An unlikely pair nonetheless but st--still-"

"Stop." His hands began to glide down towards my spandex. His large hands found the inner of my thigh and began to move his long fingers upwards, making motions. The wetness pooling at my core was insane.

"Colton-"

"I need to fuck you Asha."