-AMANDA’S POV-

Seeing Devon sitting on her bed, looking up at me, excitement clear on her features… it made me feel good. Probably the best I’ve felt in about two months.

I had missed her so much, but moving out was the best move.

Devon stood, “You look a little… different,” she raised her hand and took a strand of hair in her fingers. “Did you color it darker?”

I shook my head, “No, it just did it naturally.”

Yes, my hair had gotten darker on it’s own, it was more brown, but there was some red tint still, but very vague.

I didn’t understand it, but over the time I had alone I tried to make a connection. There was obviously something between me and Devon, it was weird, when I was around her I loved her, my feelings changed, my physical appearance even changed. Then again, when I wasn’t with her I started going back to my old self, I had even caught myself missing Nelson…

But then I ended up here, staring at Devon, and the feelings were back, and I loved her again.

So what was the connection?

Devon’s eyes lingered on me as I snapped out of my daydream, and I smiled, but it was a weak one. “What have you been up to?”

Her face fell, I didn’t know what she was expecting me to say, that I missed her? I did. I can’t lie about that… but telling her… I don’t know. What if I told her and she looked at me like I was stupid?

“Uh, school. Me and Emerson were trying to hang out, we were at the mall when you called me and I told him to bring me back home.”

I smiled, for the first time Devon had blown Emerson off for me, and not vise versa. I couldn’t contain my smile and she noticed, making her blush. I sighed, “So this must be pretty important then.”

She nodded, “It is Amanda,” she looked up at me, sending me a look that made me uneasy. Something wasn’t right with her, and I had a feeling it was me.

I tilted my head, “Wanna tell me why then?”

She looked down at her feet, and then she moved to sit on her bed, “Amanda… I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand why you left.”

I felt my heart fall, the way she said that… you could feel the pain it was so strong. “Devon… I just needed to get away. Just like you… figure out myself. I’m just… I’m not seeing the connection.”

“What connection?”

I looked at the curiosity on her face, she was waiting, but could I tell her? Would she understand? Or would she just look at me like an idiot if I told her?

Guess I’ll never know if I don’t ask.

“The connection between me and you, Devon.”

Her gaze held mine for awhile, she was trying to figure out what I meant. But it didn’t take her long because when it hit her, you saw it.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out to.”

It was a shock, she had been thinking about me? Trying to figure out why I left must’ve killed her, not having any answers, all the loose ends. I walked over to her, sitting next to her on her bed, “Have you thought of anything significant?”

She shook her head slowly, “No, but something in you has changed Amanda… and that something has changed me.”

I tilted my head in confusion, “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, when I met you for instance… you looked nothing like you look now. It’s not just me that’s noticed, but I watched you change, right in front of my eyes. Your hair, your body, your skills, hobbies… the only thing I didn’t understand were your eyes.”

My eyes locked with hers, she noticed all of that?

About me?

“Yea… I know. It sucks though, because I don’t understand it. I’m 18 years old, I shouldn’t be changing.”

She nodded in agreement, “I’ve thought a lot about it, but nothing clicks.”

“Me neither.”

Her leg touched mine gently, and I felt the warm feeling spread throughout my body. She didn’t move away from me, and I was glad, it was a good sign.

She whispered, “I’ve missed you Amanda.”

I smiled to myself, “I’ve missed you to.”

She smiled to, and I knew she was glad to hear that. I mean I was a heartless bitch, I knew she wanted to hear it come out of my mouth. I didn’t understand why, maybe she missed me being there for her, or hanging out with me, or maybe, just maybe…. She liked me.

But that was a very long shot.

“I just wish you’d tell me why.”

It was a lot to ask for, and I wasn’t sure if her and I were ready for that. Sure, we were pretty close, but then things got weird. She left, she hurt me, and then I moved out… I still felt pretty close and open with her but now… I just didn’t know.

Maybe if she showed more signs that she liked me.

“Can you play me guitar?”

It was a sudden question, and I smiled, I hadn’t heard that in awhile, and it shocked me. I glanced across the room, seeing my guitar sitting there, I didn’t even remember to bring it home with me when I left. Then again, I hadn’t thought it would’ve been a good idea… more temptation.

I picked it up, immediately remembering how to hold it, the fingering for the chords, and it felt so good. I strummed, and Devon’s face fell a little, but then it picked up, and I realized what song I had chosen to play for her.

It was the one me and Trevor wrote.

I watched her as I played, her eyes fixated on the ground, as if she wasn’t even here. She was thinking of something else, something important… and I really wanted to know what. I was just to afraid to actually ask her.

Did I like being like this? Happy, with the guitar in my hands, or miserable, away from it? Miserable here with Devon or more miserable away from her? What would I rather feel? Maybe there was something between Devon and I, I was hoping at least.

I didn’t know if there was or not.

Maybe telling her was the best move, I would never know if I didn’t…

A voice in my head echoed, “The answer will always be no if you never ask…”

It was true, so true, and all of a sudden I was compelled to ask her. Although I knew once I set the guitar down, and her focus was back on me, I would chicken out.

Maybe I should just kiss her, see what happens…

That might be a little rash.

Or maybe we should hang out a little more, and at the end of the day I would see if she wanted me to stay the night or not.

***

Me and Devon were laying down, watching a movie on Netflix. I couldn’t get over the fact that Devon had asked me to stay the night, but that she allowed me back inside her bed so quick. When I left she wanted nothing to do with me pretty much, but now… it was completely different.

Her laugh was silent, but it was cute, and directed towards the movie, but all I could do was focus on her.

And as if she heard my thoughts, her eyes found mine.

I smiled awkwardly, but I knew I was caught, and I didn’t know what her reaction was going to be.

“What you thinking about?”

I smiled, I wish I could tell her, but I was scared, “Stuff.”

She frowned, “Stuff? Really?”

I shrugged under the covers, and I didn’t notice how close me and Devon were laying next to each other until now. The sides of our bodies were actually touching, and there was something up. There was a strong possibility that she was liking me, but I wanted to know straight up.

I turned on my side, “I just… I want to ask you something, but I’m pretty nervous.”

She turned on her side to, facing me, “Like?”

My heart was racing now, and I think she was aware because her stare wasn’t going to break now. She was completely fixated on me, and I think the feelings I had over came me in that moment because all I remember was leaning in.

Kissing her… it was absolutely amazing.

And when I pulled away her face a in complete shock.

Shit, it was a mistake. I fucked up. I fucked everything up. I wanted to cry, I should’ve just asked her… I should’ve just never came.

I whispered, “I-I’m so sorry…”

I started to get up when I felt her hand on my chest, “Stay… please.”

And so I did, and maybe, just maybe, things were looking up.