《Alice in Wonderland》CHAPTER XII - Alice's Evidence
Advertisement
'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.
'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
Image: Sir John Tenniel - 1865
'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.
'Nothing,' said Alice.
'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
'Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, 'important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
Everybody looked at Alice.
'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
'You are,' said the King.
'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'
Advertisement
'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.
'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked up.'
'What's in it?' said the Queen.
'I haven't opened it yet, said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.'
'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of they jurymen.
'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)
'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day.
'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know what they're about!'
'Read them,' said the King.
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked.
'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'
Image: Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
'They told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.'
'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
said the King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'
Advertisement
'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'
Image: Sir John Tenniel - 1865
The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.
'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.
The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'
'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.
'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.
'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!'
'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
'I won't!' said Alice.
'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.
'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her:
Image: A.E. Jackson, 1915
she gave a little scream,
half of fright and half of anger,
Image: Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922
Image: Arthur Rackham, 1907
and tried to beat them off,
and found herself....
...lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've had!'
'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
Image: Jessie Willcox Smith, 1923
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep- bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs.
Image: Inset-Lewis Carroll
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
Image: Sir John Tenniel - 1865
1890 Nursery Version
THE END
Advertisement
- In Serial50 Chapters
Thomas the Brawler
Thomas doesn't remember what his last name was, before it became Bluebrim, a name belonging to another universe. He's also pretty sure he wasn't this stupid before he arrived, but what can you do, when a day that was supposed to begin with an interview to set your life back on track instead begins in a universe that makes no sense, with rules you can't begin to understand? Maybe he should have paid more attention to the avatar creation screen ... Content warnings: All of them. Seriously. Expect lots of blue screens to begin with. Don't expect a power-leveling fantasy, in which the lone hero beats up all the bad guys, and gets a harem of women. There's just a guy who treats character creation like an annoying series of pop-up advertisements, and the story is basically the ramifications of that. The main character has to learn to take the world he's found himself in seriously, and he'll learn the way most of us do, by doing it wrong first. This is, insofar as it is successful, a dark comedy fantasy. Also a bit of horror, particularly but not exclusively body horror. I'm pretty sure I've earned those Content Warning tags, so, uh, yeah. This is practice. Hopefully things improve as I go, and figure out what I'm doing wrong, but I make no guarantees things will ever get better. I've already made mistakes, I'll make more, and I'm happy to notice them each time I make them. You don't improve unless you fail. (On the plus side, it probably won't get much worse.) Feel free to point out anything you think I'm doing wrong; I don't promise to change anything, particularly if it's a matter of taste, but I am looking to improve, and figuring out what I need to improve goes faster if I don't have to try to figure it out myself. I've updated the earlier chapters for formatting, in the hope that it would make everything easier to read on mobile devices. Hopefully things work slightly better now, but please let me know if there are any issues anywhere.
8 147 - In Serial51 Chapters
The Coach's Daughter
In a town where the high school football team rules the school, Amelia is just another face in the crowd. Sure, her dad is the football coach but Amelia's idea of "Friday night lights" revolves around studying until lights are out. Trying to impress her father who only knows football and her mother's high expectations, Amelia puts her head down and tries her best to satisfy them. After accidentally ending up at a party one night (without her mother's permission of course), Amelia finds herself thrown into the world of the infuriatingly gorgeous yet arrogant Zack Darrington.Zack was never part of a crowd. He's king of the city: the best running back in the state- if not the entire country. Flirtatious, cocky, and a skilled player in all senses, Amelia is not the type of girl he typically surrounds himself with.Everyone knows Zack Darrington. No one knows Amelia Hayes. Football is his world while she wishes it wasn't a part of hers. At first glance, these two couldn't be more different but deep down, they may be more similar than they think.Highest Rankings:#1 in Fiction #10 in Teen Fiction#3 in Sports#10 in DramaBook 1 in THE COACH'S DAUGHTER trilogyCan be read as a standaloneBook 2 OUT NOW
8 73 - In Serial9 Chapters
Forgotten
Lee doesn’t know who he is. He doesn’t even know where he is. All Lee knows is that he’s woken up in a world filled with monsters intent on killing him. But that’s not all. The monsters here don’t really die. Some perpetual curse keeps bringing them back to life. And it’s affecting him as well. With each death he loses more memories—memories he must fight to regain by defeating more and more powerful foes. His only hope lies in a tattoo on his hand that seems to gain him power from his fallen enemies. But between his lack of memories, the odd messages that appear before his eyes and the nightmarish creatures of the world, Lee might just go mad first. When he meets a mysterious woman who tasks him with finding an end to the curse, Lee realizes it will take more than just his wits and instincts to survive. Lee will need to gather weapons, find allies and build a stronghold to destroy the evil permeating the world. But as he recovers his lost memories, Lee realizes that this may not be the first time he’s tried to save this world. He’s failed at least once before, and unless he can figure out where he went wrong, he could be doomed to repeating history. Forever... For fans of dark fantasy and the soulsborne series.
8 204 - In Serial6 Chapters
Machina Carthaginis
Carthage was an empire that is only remembered as a footnote on history. A stepping stone for the Romans. But not in this timeline. Follow Danel, child of Carthage, and his guardian angel, George, as they try to change history by saving one empire and killing another.
8 221 - In Serial34 Chapters
Only You Can Complete Me
Do you believe love at first sight? OrDo you believe love is blind?Meet our business tycoon Asyraf Khan. Family and office are his priority. He is short tempered and that is the problem. He will throw all his tantrums first before thinking.That is how he met our flower, Sanofar.She is an angel who forgive him although he insult her. As I said, love is blind.What will happen when the great business tycoon fall in love with a fragile flower. **************************Ps: it's my first story and it's still under editing.Warning: there would be grammar mistake. So don't attack me with hate comments. Thank you😅
8 72 - In Serial46 Chapters
Modern Magic
A Modern Magician BookI looked up at the crooked holo sign while the perfectly bred woman read from a paper, a plastic smile glued to her face.'Welcome to The City,' she said in a fake voice. 'Once formerly known as New York, The City is a place filled with ancient and modern wonders. Remember, if you see any magicians please report to the nearest police station or Black Hand officer.'I smiled at the sign and then raised a single finger. No, not the middle one. A blue misty light spun from my finger and into the holo device. The message quickly changed from the fake woman to one of my own.'Welcome to The City,' the woman read, her hair now dyed a fuchsia. Her eyelids were a dark blue and her bottom lip and right eyebrow were pierced. 'A special message from Hecate, queen of magic.' The woman looked up at me, a smirk playing on her lips. 'Welcome to my city.'
8 173

