Punching the wall felt amazing. The release of years of pent up energy and anger at being held back for all of my existence exploding in one clean and cathartic punch. The look of fear on her face, however, wiped out any relief I felt in a nanosecond. It's all that fuckers fault. My sole purpose has been to protect him through those dark years. I took everything so he didn't have to. I endured all the pain and humiliation so he didn't have to. I gave up my innocence so he could keep his. And I've never asked for a damn thing in return other than a shot at the spot light every now and again. And to be honest, his life had become so boring and mundane lately that I didn't even give a shit about that now. I was happy to watch from the shadows.

Until Agnes.

She was a game changer. She was beautiful, ballsy and had a close connection with pain. It was burned into those baby blues of hers. Just her mere presence called me into the light.

I was no longer happy with sitting on the side line, and when I finally got a taste- I was done for. I never wanted to go back into the darkness and become a spectator of our life again.

So for that fucker to deny me. To outright insult her and treat her like he was once treated- Made my blood fucking boil. I would cave his face in if it wouldn't mess with my rugged good looks.

I don't want much in life, I just want her.

And now because of him- she fears me. I can't bare that look on her face. I usually get a kick out of it. The power of making some insignificant piece of shit tremble at my feet made me feel fucking ten feet tall. The way I made all those fuckers from the dark years tremble and piss their mother fucking pants made me want to roar with satisfaction. But to see that look on her face- destroyed me.

She was an angel and the only thing that could bring this devil to it's knees.

I need to get away from that look. It feels like judge, jury and executioner all in one ice blue package. and my anxiety was rising through the roof with every second I stood in front of her.

I storm passed fucking Tweedle Dum and Tweedle fucking Dee on my way to Blake's bedroom. Delighting in the slightest cower of their shoulders as I passed. Fucking Jay has his fists clenched, ready for what, I don't fucking know. Did he really think he could take me. Was that him finally growing some fucking balls.

It wasn't his usual method of dealing with me. No, he was usually the one to drug me in to submission. I fucking hated the drugs. Control was hard to grasp. Everything swayed and flowed like being on a fairground ride. A ride that I couldn't control. A ride I wanted off.

It seemed that Agnes brought the animal out in every guy she meets. Well, everyone except Blake. What the fuck was his problem?!

That was just a turn of phrase, because in actuality, I knew what his problem was. Of course I did, after all, I was there.

I wasn't just there, I was in control. I had stepped in to hide a four year old Blake from seeing his crack head whore of a mother- five days dead- bloated, stinking and rotting with a filthy needle in her arm and her stained underwear round her ankles. I felt sick as a the disgusting and disturbing memory passed through my mind.

Yeah. I was the one who had endured that shit for days until she was discovered from pure stench alone. He was tucked safely away from all the nasty's in that little nook deep in the back of our psyche. But not me, I was present and accounted for. He doesn't remember a thing from those times but on some unconscious level, he knows. I can tell that by the way he treats my Angel.

He doesn't know why he hates her. He only knows that he does. It should be me that hates her, I lived it. But I am so twisted and fucked up by everything from our past that the fact she is dead, really gets me off.

I adjusted my twitching dick in my pants. It was still rock hard from having her slammed against the wall. Those little moans and those fucking lips had me nearly undone. But when I saw my mark on her neck- I nearly came right there and then like a fucking teenager on prom night. Not my prom night though. On my prom night, I fucked Becca Davies over the hood of her moms car. Oh, yeah and did I mention that her mom was still behind the wheel after Becca had called her to come pick her up as I was being an dick. I shit you not, her mom... Fucking loved it. Dirty fucking bitch and they thought I was twisted! Ha!

I needed to make Blake see past his mommy issues. To see my Angel for who she is and not what she is. For him to accept the fact that she was fucking mine and whether he liked it or fucking not, I was going to claim her.

I willingly hand over the reins for now, but that fucker will soon learn who's really in charge.

"Not until Blake agrees-" Agnes' words play back over in my head on a loop as I began to slink back into the shadows. I'll teach that fucker for telling me no. No one tells me fucking no- Ever.

I'm stood in my bedroom with a raging fucking hard on and munchies that could take on a third world country- but I had no idea how I got there. A throbbing in my hand stole my attention, making me look down to inspect it.

Red welts were spread across my knuckles and I knew right then that Damian had been here. It had pretty much become his calling card. When he was here, something or someone always ended up being punched. I shook my hand out wincing as pain radiated up my forearm. Biting my bottom lip to keep the groan inside.

The taste of strawberry burst across my tongue from a slick flavoured substance that coated my lips. I swear to God himself, if that fucker had dragged home another bar fly, I was going to kick his fucking ass.

I looked over at the still made bed, with it's military sheet corners pulled so tight you could bounce a quarter off them. Just the way that I liked and left them. It was obvious that he hadn't brought the bimbo in here. It took me over thirty minutes every morning to straighten those sheets and that fucker just loved to fuck them up with some dirty skank, just to piss me off. I usually burned the sheets afterwards and took an hour long scalding bleach shower.

That doesn't mean anything though, she's probably just strung out over my couch, stinking the place with cheap perfume and desperation. That's also happened on quite a few occasions. Turning them out on their ass was usually a nightmare.

Turning on my heal, I head into the suspiciously empty living room only to hear voices coming from the bathroom.

It was Jay and Connor. What were they doing here?

A third voice had my hackles rising on end. She was here.

I stood outside of the door listening in as they spoke. They were talking about me. No, not me. Damian.

He'd marked her. Good, I casually thought but then the thought of someone hurting her pissed me off. My head was a fucking mess and I had no idea where to start sorting it out. The word hickey then broke through my mental musings. Aw for fuck sake! I guess I found the owner of the strawberry chap stick. I can't believe I went there - Again!

Was Damian just doing this to piss me off?

Their next words made my blood run ice cold. Damian had a fucking crush on the dead girl.

Right then and there, something deep within me knew Damian would be sticking around and I was going to have a one hell of an internal fight on my hands. The thought gutted me. I'd worked so hard to keep the monster within me subdued but within three days of her showing up, I was going to be fighting for my very existence, I could already feel it beginning.

I stepped into the bathroom making myself known and startling all three of them stood in front of the mirror.

The sight of all three of us stood behind her, his mark on the pale smooth skin on her neck- vivid and proud, changed something within me. Like a switch being flipped, my insides churned with the ferocity of a cyclone and my heart pounded like a jack hammer. I just had no idea if it was for the better or worse-

There was too much intensity in the air for one tiny little room. All three breath taking men stood staring at me through the tiny mirror. Heat searing me through the tiny rectangle of reflective glass. Well, except for Connor. He was still laughing ass off.

Rolling my eyes trying to break the hold the air in the room had on me- I barged through the guys as if they were bowling pins and headed out to Blake's living room trying to get away from the elephant in the room and get some much needed breathing space.

I couldn't deal with this shit at the moment. There was too much going on and now with Damian in the mix the complexity of my situation was tying my already twisted mind in knots. It was time to self preserve. And the best way I knew how was to shut off my emotional needs and concentrate on my physical needs.

The only thing with following my physical needs was that I was hungry and in more ways than one. I chose to ignore one and focus on the other.

I walked over to Blake's fridge, swinging it open and poking my head inside cooling myself down and also looking for food. Connor's arms wrapped around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder looking into the fridge with me. His hot breath against my cheek making me shiver. My cheeks heated when he placed a sweet chaste kiss on my cheek with a chuckle.

"By all means make yourself at home" Blake grumbled as he passed, eyeing us raiding his food.

"Plan on it" I shrugged. I couldn't give a shit about his attitude at the moment. I was more worried that his fridge was as bare as mine.

"it's empty, anyway" I sulked

"Yeah, mines pretty much the same" Conner spoke and Jay agreed "mine too".

This is where everything began to feel real. We were out of food and Connor's scent wrapped around me was fuelling my hunger to epic proportions.

"We need food guys. I'm worried-" I hesitated and Conner squeezed me harder as I closed the fridge door and leaned into him, taking the comfort he was so willingly giving me.

"No need to worry, we won't starve just yet. We have time." Jay cajoled.

"I don't think I have time- I've never felt hunger like this before in my life and I've been hungry"

"Drama queen" Blake interjected unhelpfully. Earning him a glare from the rest of us. I noticed a slight wince on his face and I realised that he was pinching his thigh with what seemed quite a bit of force. I idly wondered if it was him keeping himself in reality, in control. Or if it was Damian scolding him for his shitty attitude towards me. When I saw the shock that resonated on his face after the pain had passed, I had a good feeling it was the latter. This made me smile. I think Damian maybe my new favourite person.

While all this transpired Jay had put on the TV and turned it up, pulling my attention away from the walking contradiction in front of me.

"I saw something on the news yesterday about ration supplies" Jay said flicking through channels at a speed that made it difficult to see one story to the next. Every channel seemed to be broadcasting news except the odd one or two that was playing re-runs of Friends and I Love Lucy which I thought was just odd. I mean who would watch that shit in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse!

"Ah-ha!" Jay exclaimed when he found what he was looking for. An exhausted looking man in his sixties was staring back at me. His perfectly styled- and obviously dyed- jet black hair belied the huge bags under his eyes and the thin set line of his lips. He'd obviously been on air for a while and it was taking it's toll.

The government was pleased to announce this morning that containment was going better than expected and that the majority of the infected where now safe and receiving the help that they need until a cure can be found. They have now set up emergency care centres in local community centres all over the country. They have said here you can receive food rations, medical treatment and also information on missing loved one or help with the infected. There will also be a testing station in each centre if you are worried of any possible infection. The government are urging people to take advantage of these tests, even if there is confidence of no infection.

On a further note. Although, containment has gone extremely well and the curfew has now been lifted. The military have advised people to be extra vigilant as even though the streets are now deemed safe, there may still be the odd stragglers out there. Any sightings of the infected must be reported immediately on the below number in order to keep our country safe.

The news anchor then signed off with a Stay safe, stay vigilant and speak up.

"So- When do we leave?" I spoke making all three men look my way.

"We- don't" Jay insisted "I'll go, you're staying here where it's safe" He pointed his finger at me with a look on his face that said he was not to be argued with.

Of course I was going to argue. I am not one to sit back and take orders, even if it was to my detriment. I'd learned this about myself very quickly in the system and it's something that no beating had ever fixed.

"So you say. So, where's the nearest community centre? Is it the one near Ed's diner or is there one in this neighbourhood?" I hadn't had time to explore my new neighbourhood yet, due to the inconvenient terrorist attack that only ruined the world and also took my life.

My words steamrolled over Jays objections. It didn't matter what he was going to say, I was going to ignore him anyway.

"You're not going on your own" Blake asserted, shocking me that were in agreement on something.

"Thank you!"

"Not a chance dead girl" my back stiffened "Jay's right, you're not going anywhere. But Jay? You're not going anywhere alone, I'm coming with you."

"Me too" Conner spoke up

"Not way, you're staying here too, someone has to stay back with the girl. I don't trust her."

What a fucking dick! He doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust fucking me! He has a fucking nerve! He's the one with the split personality but I'm the liability? Unbelievable!

Since I discovered the existence of Damian, all I have been told is how bad and dangerous he is, but honestly, I currently prefer him to the walking phallus in front of me. I was ready to go to war on this one!

"How fucking dare you!" I stormed across the room and began poking him in his muscular chest. It hurt because it was like fucking steal but I wasn't going to make him aware of that little fact.

"I do not need a babysitter! I am not a wild animal, I'm a human fucking being-"

"Debateable" he snorted making me poke at his chest harder

"And you have no fucking say over what I can and can't do. If I want to leave this apartment and go outside, I damn well will!"

His massive hand wrapped around my wrist, stilling it and making it look dainty in his huge paw.

"You're right I can't stop you-" he whispered menacingly leaning in close to my face. A tremor rocked my body, making me sway at his close proximity. "But if you go, you'll do nothing but prove me right." A mocking smirk crossed his lips riling me up more.

"What the hell are you talking about?! How would me leaving prove you right?" I stared him directly into his almost black eyes, his thumb subconsciously drawing tingling circles on the underside of my wrist before he caught himself and tightened his grip before releasing it with a thrust.

"That you will hurt us- them" He corrected at the end.

"Please elaborate-" I pushed sarcastically, crossing my arms across my chest inadvertently lifting my cleavage. His eyes dropped to my breast and a quick shimmer of golden hazel flashed in his eyes before quickly catching himself and bringing his eyes back up to mine, correcting his slip. But it was too late, I had already seen Damian lurking. I inwardly smiled. The lack of control must be killing him. Good!

"Think about it rationally instead of like a toddler stamping her foot. There will be military all over the community centre and did you listen to the news story? They're urging people to test their blood for infection. What makes you think that it is truly voluntary as the news said. I'm betting that the blood test will be mandatory to use any of the services within the centre." I go to speak my rebuttal but he holds up his hand silencing me and carried on. "Lets argue that I am just been paranoid and the centre is just full of do gooders with no ulterior motives. They have only just cleared the streets, what if we get attacked. What if you get killed or taken away. A smaller group will be more inconspicuous and can move faster. The fact of the matter is, either scenario, does not end well for you and I hate to say it but if anything happens to you it will destroy these two-" he pointed towards his best friends "Which in turn, will destroy me."

My shoulders sagged as my heart melted at his concern for his best friends. This side of him was seriously hard not to be attracted to. Too bad he couldn't be like this all the time.

"Well damn- He's right"

All three heads snapped up and stared at me in complete shock.

"What?! I'm not totally fucking unreasonable. I would never put you guys in danger."

A look of admiration crossed Blake's face but it passed as quickly as his eyes had.

"You already have" He mumbled under his breath as he walked passed me grabbing his jacket and walking towards the door.

He stood on the threshold and turned back to face us.

"You coming, man?" He threw at Jay. Which spurred him into action. Giving me a quick peck on the cheek he headed out of the apartment to go outside for the first time since the attack. A lump formed in my throat, threatening to choke me as worry flowed through my veins. I was going to be a nervous wreck until the second they got back. I hated not knowing. I wish Blake hadn't talked so much sense a few moments ago. At least that way I would know one hundred percent if they were coming back one way or another and not abandoning me like most the people in my life had. Tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill over as the knot tightened.

Strong arms wrapped around my body and fastened tightly behind my back, pulling me into a strong warm chest. Surrounded in his comfort, I nuzzled into Connor, breathing in his earthy, mouth watering scent. Hugging him back with all I had. His hug soothed me, telling me silently that they both were going to be ok. I say both because, yeah, as much of an asshole Blake is- He's growing on me in a big way.

"Come on"

Connor tugged me towards the door.

"Where are we going?" I sniffled, a part of me hoping that he was going to say with them but I knew he wouldn't.

"I'm taking you to my apartment. I have an X Box and I'm going to kick your sexy ass to the moon and back" His big meaty hand came crashing down hard on my ass cheek making me squeal loudly before bursting in a fit of giggles.