CHAPTER 22

Today was the day after eliminations and Xavier's first individual date tonight. I'm pretty sure it was with Lindsay. I wondered what they would get up to. Somehow the sombre feeling of helplessness washed over me as I though of Xavier and Lindsay spending time together. Maybe it was because he was mad at me. But somewhat I felt, not possessive, but the unwillingness to share him with another girl.

Ok maybe I was jealous. Maybe when I though of him my heart did race a little bit. Maybe when I thought back to the times we spent in the music room it made me smile a little. Maybe thinking of him mad at me hurt me to the core although it was my fault.

And maybe I might just like him a little bit too much for just a friend.

It was so obvious something like this would have happened eventually. Of course, after all the resistance I put against, I, out of all people, end up falling for his charms.

Who said anything about falling. It's just a crush.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves and overthink everything.

Oh wait, I already do that.

Argh. I slammed my face onto my pillow before I ripped my doona off me.

I need to get a life.

I shoved my dirty hair into a, um, a I don't know what. I had strands hanging out everywhere. Sliding on an old school jersey, leggings and black gumboots I left the mansion in a very unfashionable outfit. Walking into town I found a shop which sold candles, and incense sticks. I found bath bombs and I found bath perfumes and bubbles. Then I went into the nearest chemist to buy something I wanted for a while.

I needed to stop moping about over some boy. I did what I have to do. He needs to realise I did this for him.

As I arrived back in my room I dimmed the bathroom lights and started filling the bath up. I spread candles around and lit them with my lighter. When I put the bath bombs in a pink colour exploded thrrough the bath and to top off the typical white girl bath post I put some flower petals in. I stripped down and carefully chucked my clothes away from any flames and slipped into the hot heaven and soaked my body. I sunk under the water for as long as I could hold my breath for and let my feelings melt under the heat.

I stayed in the bath for a long time. A long, long time. Until it became lukewarm and my fingers became pruny. And then with great reluctance I climbed out and wrapped a massive towel around my body and blew the candles out. As I walked back into the room I sat down in front of my dresser mirror staring at my reflection with the towel tucked in under my armpit.

Not going to mope anymore, I was going to do something a little different.

I brushed my tangled hair and picked some petals out of it. Note to self; don't have a bath with petals in it again.

It was still a bit damp when I pulled it into a pony tail. And I took the dye I had bought from the chemist out.

I've always wanted purple hair. Not bright purple, but purple which you can see in the sunlight. I found where I wanted the dye to go and then just paasted it in my hair.

I was finally getting purple hair!

Tuesday, Becca was going on her date today. Actually she already left at like four am in the morning.

Lindsay had come back last night and all morning she had been gloating about how Xavier had taken her on a flight all the way to New York City where they went to Broadway and watched Wicked and then they spent the rest of the night exploring New York City. Although it had upset me a little I pushed it aside.

Basically, my half purple was a success and I was super excited. I felt like I had grown up for dyeing my hair for the first time.

Or maybe hair dye is made of happy fumes.

But that's irrelevant.

I was lying in the sun as I strummed my guitar and Coco ran around with Rose.

That was a good thing because before he jumped on us. Like it was practically a threesome with me, Freddie and Coco.

I named my guitar Freddie.

Freddie Mercury is my Queen.

At dinner, it was surprising to see Becca home but it was due to Xavier's busy schedule. He had a live interview at 8:00 sharp tonight. But that didn't stop Becca from gushing over the glorious scuba diving trip in some exotic beach. No doubt that this was where she showed off her glorious beach body with tanned long legs and slim figure.

I was pale, pale, pale with contrastingly brunette, half purple hair, and blue eyes. But I shoved all thoughts of him away. I didn't need to wallow in anymore pity.

But everything was ok because Taliah bought everyone ice cream. Sherbert ice cream. It's the greatest thing I have ever had. And my day actually got better because we had Nachos for dinner. Flipping nachos. They're are my one true love.

That's right, beat that Xavier.

After dinner I went back up to my room with Rose and Taliah and they were watching TV while I was googling some chords to Justin Timberlake. Well that was until I heard someone mention Xavier's name in the background.. Looking up at the clock it was eight o'clock and his interview was airing. The interviewer, a near middle aged woman with an orange face and tight leapord print dress with a low cleavage filled the screen. Oh, great.

The chair next to her was empty as she talked to the cameras in a slightly Spanish accent, introducing who Xavier Matthews was.

Soon he walked out and sat down and my heart did a little flip. He was wearing a checked red flannelette shirt with rolled three quarter sleeves. He was wearing black skinny jeans and white hi-cut Converses and a dog tag around his neck.

Why did he have to be so flipping good looking; it seriously should be illegal.

As the interviewer and Xavier started talaking I creepily stared at his face ignoring Rose and Taliah in the room. His eyes were tired, he was a bit pale and his smile was turned upside down.

"So let's talk about your music first," The lady, Catarina, stated and Xavier nodded. His right hand was playing with his leather band on his other wrist.

"Your very first album, Different Worlds, has had a pretty amazing response from people all around the world, were you expecting this type of response?"

Xavier gave a little smile and I knew that despite he didn't like his music it was still music.

"I wasn't really expecting it at all. I'm so greatful to all of my fans and all. After putting my EP out a few years ago and then the album built off that to what it is now is incredible."

"So just to clarify, how were you discovered again?"

He nodded, "My dad is in fact the creator of Gold Records but he had no idea I can sing. I was at home and just walking around the halls singing when one of his assistants heard me and dragged me to dad and that's when it all started."

The interviewer nodded, "And you're fanbase? How did that grow so rapidly, without even having an album or EP out?"

"I posted little videos on Youtube and things grew from there. From Twitter to Tumblr and yeah. And I visited some countries and played some small gigs there."

He was growing awkward, Xavier was, I could tell. He had to keep a bad boy image up and here he was just being a normal boy.

They discussed his album for a bit longer before she changed topics, "Now about girls, oh and your TV show, The Search For Cinderella. How is that going?"

He smiled, "It's pretty good and it's really fun. I've met some interesting people while being on it."

She giggled. Giggled. A near forty something year old giggled at a seventeen year old boy. I was slightly creeped.

"So, America will be chosing the girl you take as your date to the grand ball through voting, but if ou could chose who would you take?"

My heart did two extra beats in that mili second. I don't think that's normal. I didn't want to wait for his answer. I mean he was still mad at me.

He smiled cheekily to the camera, "That's my secret."

The subject was soon dropped and tehy discussed dating rumours and what not and then, "You have a bit of a reputation don't you."

He frowned and looked annoyed but then shrugged, "I don't know, do I?" Keeping up with his other persona. To be honest he was a pretty good actor.

"This must be what your appeal is though, while alll those girls are obssessed with you. They must fancy the idea of a bad boy." Ok, that was almost an insult. Saying people liked him cause of his image, which isn't even him, than his music.

"In fact," she bent over and there was almost a nip slip there, her boobs nearly falling out to display to the world, Xavier looked slightly amused, "we got some different photos here and we were just wandering if you would want to explain a story behind each one."

He gave a nervous but more sarvastic laugh, "What is this, a court case?"

Catarina shook her head, "Just a chance to set things straight."

His eyes were angry I could see, but his body was calm and he shrugged.

The first photo was him at a club with two girls grinding on him with revealed clothes and lipstick stains on his face and neck. The only thing was the photo was blury and you could only see half of his face.

"This was taken in a club in Miami the other week, would you like to explain."

He winced slightly before giving a forced smirk and then laughed it off shrugging, "I like to have fun."

Taliah snorted behind me, which scared me forgetting she and Rose was here, "It's funny how much of an asshole he is there when here he doesn't even talk at all. Superior jack ass."

Another photo was brought forward, it was like an interrogation scene in one of those crime shows. This time it showed him with a bunch of guys with cigarettes in their mouths and half empty bottles in in their hands.

Catarina raised an eyebrow, "Underage drinking?"

Again he shrugged, although quite stiffly, "I'm pretty sure that there are sixteen year olds in the US who drink."

This went on photos after photos; him doing weed, making out with girls, drinking and he had the same robotic response for each one. But with each photo his eyes grew darker and his hands bunched up.

Finally the last photo showed him naked with another girl on a balcony.

"Would you like to explain?" She asked smugly.

His hands were completely fisted and his eyes were storming. He was quiet for a full minute before he spoke in a deadly calm tone.

"You want me to explain. I will."

He took all the photos from her and flicked back to the one of 'him' in the club.

"This was in Miami right?" He asked almost rhetorically, "Two weeks ago, Friday night?"

Catarina nodded.

"Truth is I've only been to Miami two times in my life, first time to play a gig and the second time to promote my album. I was there in the morning and I've never been to a club in Miami."

He chucked it to the floor and as he spoke emotion grew in his voice. The photo of him drinking came forward, "Truth is I've never drunk alcohol before in my life. I've never been attracted to alcohol at all."

The interviewer was staring in shock but I could heat voices yelling in the background. He took the photo of 'him' naked with the other girl forward.

"The truth to this. That guy in all those photos is not me. He's some clone my management team hired to create this bad boy image for me. They blackmailed me to do this or they'll take my dads's job over."

He was angry. Completely angry and mad and he had cracked.

"The complete truth is that I hate this, I hate my image, I hate the music I make be cause it's not even my music. I hate that those people," he spat, "have killed my joy in music and a peron I've met just recently fired my love for it again."

"These," he held the photos up, "Aren't who I am and never will be!" He threw them across the room and then picked his CD up, "And neither is this" He threw it across the room and is smashed and then the signal cut out leaving the room in static.

"Holy crap." Rose muttered.

A/N: I'm choking on incense as I write this, that may explain the loopiness. I'm trying to be a hippie

And I can't be like this cause this is a serious chapter so I'm sorry and oh my gosh Xavier though.

QOTU: new bands or music to listen to?