Chapter 19: Lucia

"Remember, she never gave you a chance to explain." Harper says.

Millersport is a very small town, so when a family of French people moved in, Aunt Clara and Uncle Ryan heard about it.

My Aunt and Uncle paid for me and Gabe's tickets to Ohio. Mason and Harper dipped into their own savings accounts to pay for theirs, and Brenda just begged her Dad for ten seconds before he transferred her enough money to buy a yacht.

I stare at the house. It's your cliché family house, with a white picket fence. It's two stories, painted baby blue with white trim. A few feet of snow cover the ground. The front door is shut, along with the screen door in front of it.

"How do we know she's home?" Gabe asks.

We took my Mom's van, which seats seven, and there's only five of us, six including Odeletta.

"She's probably going to slap me." I grumble.

"How do we know she's home?" Gabe repeats.

I look at the driveway. There's something small with a blue tarp over it, and I know that's her motorcycle.

"She's home." I say.

"She didn't give you a chance to explain."

Harper says. She reaches over me, opens the door, and shoves me out into the snow. I slip on ice and fall, catching myself with my hands. Letting out a quiet swear, I wipe my hands off and stands up, shooting a glare at Harper.

"Sorry!" She whispers, and then she slams the door.

They leave the car parked there, promising me that'd stay in case something went wrong so we could escape quickly.

I think Gabe is just excited to meet her.

I'm so nervous, but I'm also frustrated with her.

Shoving my hands deep into my jean pockets, I walk up the driveway to the front door, ringing the doorbell.

I hear shouting in the house, presumably in French.

I start bouncing on the balls of my feet, anxious.

Somebody opens the wood door.

I come face to face with her Aunt Rosalie. She opens the screen door, her eyes narrowing as she looks me up and down.

Before I can open my mouth to say something, she starts whispering in French.

A moment later, Odeletta's Dad appears at the door, and a giant grin fills his face.

"My son-in-law!" He exclaims quietly. He shakes my hand. "I assume you're here to talk to my daughter?" He asks.

I cringe, nodding.

"I'd ask you how you found us, but you have connects, am I right?" He winks, and I laugh anxiously, nodding. My hands are shaking in my pockets and I glance over my shoulder.

They opened the windows in the van halfway and they're crouched down enough that you can't see them, but it's a small town so there's no city sounds to disrupt the silence of the world, so they can probably hear all of this fairly clearly. I don't hear the engine to the van running, so I think Gabe shut it off.

"Odeletta Juileta Guillotin!" He shouts. He starts yelling something in French. When he silences, he smiles. "I told her somebody is at the door for her. You should move out of the way."

I cringe.

"Don't stop until she listens to you." He adds, smiling.

I nod, and he shuts the screen door, moving to the side.

I move too, glancing anxiously at the van. Gabe and Harper, who are on the side of the van facing the house, stick a thumbs up out the window.

I bite the inside of my cheek.

I hear footsteps and then the door creaks and she peeks out the door.

The moment she sees me, she backs up, back into the house.

I release my cheek, feeling annoyed. I open the screen door, grabbing her wrist and pratically dragging her out of the house.

She glares at me.

"Go away, Nathan." She snaps.

"No." I say, stubborn. "You're going to listen to me."

I've never seen her not wear black before, so to see her in gray sweatpants and a maroon t-shirt in front of me is weird.

"Oh, I am going to listen to you? No, I am not."

"I flew across the fucking country to talk to you." I say, annoyed.

She glares at me for nearly a full minute and I try not to flinch under her glare.

"Let me get a jacket." She snaps. She walks into the house, slamming the front door. I wait almost a full minute.

Right when I hits a minute, I ring the bell again. Her family doesn't come to the door, so I literally hold down the bell.

After nearly five minutes of my insistent ringing, I hear her storming down the stairs, shouting in French, probably something that would making a french mother cover her child's ears, and then she rips open the door. She put on her leather jacket and her combat boots. She zips the jacket up, glaring at me.

"What the fuck do you want, Nathan?" She snaps.

I smile triumphantly, but I wipe it off my face.

"You are so fucking infuriating, do you know that?" I ask her.

"I know the feeling." She snaps, glaring at me. "I know you did not come here to walk to my Papa, so what do you want?"

I realize then how I'm going to play this out.

"I came here to inform you before you rudely cussed me out, that before you stormed out of the café at UC, I told that girl I had a girlfriend, and then I went after you, only to get cussed out. I spent two weeks moping around miserable because you didn't even give me the benefit of the doubt, and then I realized that I'm in love with you." I say that part loud enough to hear her mother shriek from inside the house. "And now I'm here to tell you to stop looking for excuses to get rid of me. You'd tried everything, including slapping me across the face, and nothing worked. But you got your wish, Odeletta, because you want nothing to fucking do with me. You made that perfectly clear. So you do whatever it is you do and I'm going to go. I just needed you to know."

I turn around and storm off, leaving her standing there, shocked.

I get in the van.

"Nate!" Gabe hisses.

"Trust me." I say. "Drive to my parents house."

He starts the engine and takes off down the street.

"You're a fucking idiot!" Harper snaps.

"No, I'm not. I'm sick of going after her. I'm always the one that goes after her. It's about time she went after me."

_____

"You're such an idiot!" Peyton snarls over the movie.

"Peyt, will you shut up please?" Julian snaps. "Meredith is about to give Derek the 'you don't get to call me a whore' speech, and your voice is interrupting!"

Peyton glares at our younger brother and I sink deeper into the couch.

It's been three hours and I haven't gotten a text or anything.

Everyone has called me an idiot, including my own parents.

Now it's about an hour until dinner and I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

"Wait!" Brenda shrieks. "Pause the show!"

"No!" Julian yells at her. "You're interrupting!"

She rips the plug the TV plug out of the outlet.

"Listen!" She hisses.

We all fall silent.

"There's nothing." Julian snaps after a second.

"No, listen!" she says.

We're all silent, sighing.

And then faintly, I hear it.

Everyone sits up fast, looking at me.

A motorcycle engine. My eyes widen and I get up, moving the blinds, everyone crowding around me.

The engine is quiet, but it grows louder, and louder, and then I see her on the bike.

"That's not her." Harper says.

She has her helmet on and she's flying down the neighborhood.

"No, I don't think so." Mason says.

"It's her." I say, convinced.

And then she drives past the house, and every ounce of hope I had vanishes. I slam my forehead against the window, letting out a swear.

"Maybe she really doesn't give a shit." I mutter.

"I think she does, sweetie." Mom says.

"She's struggled with being alone for ten years." Dad says. "I think she forgot what it's like to have people care."

I sigh slowly.

Then, the motorcycle comes back into view, much slower, and then the person on the bike pulls into the driveway.

She's wearing black skinny jeans, a blue t-shirt, and her leather jacket. She has her black combat boots on, too.

Nobody gets excited until she takes the helmet off.

"Fuck. What do I do now?" I look at everyone. "I didn't think this far."

"She looks pissed." Gabe says. "She doesn't know me. I'll get the door."

We all duck away from the window, moving back to watch the show, but Julian restarts the episode so we don't have to pay attention to what's happening.

When the doorbell rings, Gabe wiggles his eyebrows at me and then goes and answers the door.

"Can I help you?" He asks politely. I swallow loudly, nervous.

"Uh..." she coughs. "Is um...is Nathan here?"

"Nathan?" He repeats, frowning. "What's his last name?"

"Reed." She says. "Tall, blonde hair, insufferably annoying?"

I grin.

"You guys have such a weird relationship." Peyton whispers.

"Oh, Nathan!" Gabe laughs loudly. "I thought you were talking about Natalie."

"They are one in the same." She says. "Can I come in please?"

He hesitates for a long time.

"Sure, I guess so."

He steps aside. I hear her footsteps on the wood floor and I try to be casual, sitting on the couch, scrolling through my phone.

After a moment, she rips the phone from my hand. I look up at her.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

She looks at my parents.

"I apologize." She says, and then she turns back to me. I stand up slowly, sensing a fight. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" She snaps. Everyone is stifling smiles.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"You come to my parents house, force my to come outside to talk to you, confess your love and then leave?" Her arms are folded across her chest.

"You walked up to me and ripped my heart out without giving me a chance to explain." I shrug. "I thought you would relate. At least I didn't run across the country."

Her eyes flash with fire and I brace myself.

I was expecting her to start screaming, but instead, she grabs the front of my shirt and starts dragging me somewhere. She drags me around the house, opening and closing doors. When she finally finds a room far enough from everyone, she shoves me into it and steps outside with me, slamming the door.

She picked the garage. The coldest room in the house.

Her eyes are full of anger, but instead of yelling at me, she slumps against the door, sighing.

"Nathan." She whispers. "I have been alone for ten years. I thought I finally had something good, and then that girl walked up and you said yes to her without realizing it and I freaked out, okay? I am not good at this relationship stuff. I have been..." she bites her lip and her eyes are filling with tears. I gulp. "I have been so miserable. I miss you. I miss teasing you and laughing with you and going shopping with you. I miss you so much, and I was angry that I missed you but my Papa told me I was overreacting and so did Maman and Aunt Rosalie and I didn't realize that people can be genuinely good, and I've been sitting around since I met you waiting for you to fuck me over, anticipating it. When I saw you with that girl, I got-I got jealous, alright? I used it as an excuse to run, because I was scared. I am scared. I am scared for you to get annoyed of me and run off. I am scared to be alone again. I am scared. I am scared every second of every day, and I do not know how to handle myself around you. I am trying, okay, but when I saw you accept her so easily...it was watching my fear come to life."

"Your fear?" I repeat.

"You leaving me to fend for myself again. I don't want to be alone anymore, but I do not know how to not be alone."

She has fat tears sliding down her cheeks. I feel my heart shattering in my chest as I stare at her.

"Did you mean it?" She whispers.

"Mean what?" I ask.

"You said you love me." She whispers. "Did you mean it?"

My eyes study hers as I nod my head.

"Yes."

She bites her lip, looking down at the floor.

"I am so fucking terrified to let you in all the way. To start telling you things. I am scared you're going to vanish on me." She looks up, her eyes red rimmed and full of tears. "I am scared to love you, Nathan. I am scared to die alone. I am scared to be alone, but I do not know how to not be alone."

She buries her head in her hands and her shoulders start shaking.

She's crying.

She's like, sobbing, right in front of me. I rub my chest over my heart, wincing at the physical pain I feel.

And then I remember I never got to hold her.

I find myself moving towards her, my hands gently grabbing her arms, I slide them up to her wrists and pry her hands away from her face, and she's full on crying, trying to tug away from me.

"Odeletta." I whisper. "Let me take care of you. Can you do that? Can you let me take care of you?"

She bobs her head. I release her wrists, step closer to her, and wrap my arms around her small body. It takes a moment for her to respond, but she does, wrapping her arms around my waist. I put my right hand on the back of her head, resting my chin on the top of her head. "It's okay." I murmur. "It's all going to be okay. I'm not going away. You have tried to shut me out and it never works, remember? So I'm staying, here, within your reach, until the day I die, but only if you let me, amour."

She starts crying harder. Amour in French means love. I shush her gently, holding her tighter.

_____

She won't look at me now. We're still in the garage, but the sun has gone down. She's done crying, and she's sitting next to me on the cooler in here.

I reach out, brushing her hair from her eyes, gently turning her head to look at me.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." I murmur, brushing my thumb along her cheek.

She takes a deep breath, rubbing her arms.

"It is cold out here." She mumbles.

"Do you want to go inside?" I ask. She nods her head. "Okay." I stand up. She stands up too.

"Are we okay again?" She bites her lip, avoiding my gaze. I nod my head.

"I think that's your decision, amour." I say softly. She looks up at me.

"Nathan?" She mumbles.

"Hmm?" I hum.

"I am going to kiss you now." She whispers.

"Okay."

_____

After we went in the house, my Mom practically shoved food down our throats, offering Odeletta any type of sweet she could think of. Her face is red from crying but nobody is commenting on it. She excused herself to the bathroom and we're in the kitchen.

"Nathan, did you say something to make that girl cry?" Mom asks.

"No." I say seriously. "That's not me anymore, Mom."

"Annie, let's leave the kids alone." Dad says, guiding Mom out of the kitchen. Aunt Clara and Uncle Ryan follow.

Gabe has a younger brother, Jackson. Gabe is twenty four, only a year older than me and Mason, while Jackson is twenty. He's closer with Julian. All of us are in the kitchen when Odette walks in.

I properly introduced her to Gabe and Jackson and my aunt and uncle and we've spent the last hour telling stories from when we were kids.

"Odette, is your motorcycle a kickstart?" Gabe asks.

"Yes." She says.

"Do you know how to do a wheelie?" He asks.

She hesitates.

"Yes." She says. "If my mother asks, the answer is no."

He grins.

"We should all go to an old parking lot and watch you do a wheelie." Gabe says.

"That sounds fun." Julian's face lights up, and before I know it, we're all cramming into Mom's van and Odeletta follows us on her bike.

After driving all the way back to Millersport, we go to an old parking lot of some Walmart that nobody goes to and we all get out. We brought beers and everyone here is of age except for Julian and Jackson, so they drink coke, and she parks her bike in the middle of the parking lot.

"This is a bad idea." I say nervously.

"I've done this tons of times." She says. The air is silent, so silent that I can almost hear the snow falling softly. It's early March, so I can't wait for the snow to melt.

But again, we live in Ohio and Colorado, so it won't melt for a while.

"Do you know how to drive a stick shift?" I ask curiously. She looks at me.

"Uh...no." She says.

"My car is a stick shift." I say. "I'll teach you how to drive it if you teach me how to drive that." I nod to the motorcycle.

She looks at the bike, and then back at me.

"Um..." she swallows. "I don't know about that."

"That's even better." Gabe nods excitedly.

"Yeah, let him do it!" Harper says, excited.

She sighs, puts her helmet on, and then throws her leg over the seat of the bike.

She slams her foot down on the kick start.

Her bike roars to life, the loud engine filling the quiet air. She revs the engine a few times and then takes off through the parking lot.

When she gets near us, she lifts the bike up on the back wheel and cuts through the parking lot on one wheel. All of us are cheering excitedly.

We stop though when she gets closer to us again, and the bike goes back, and keeps going back, throwing her off and then soaring a hundred feet in front of her before falling to it's side.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I say, all of us running towards her. She's still on the ground. I rush to her as she sits up.

She rips her helmet off, wincing.

"Check the bike!" She says, her voice full of pain.

"Are you alright?" I ask, panicked.

"The bike!" She says. She starts to get up but I get up and jog over to her bike, lifting it up. I don't know how to shut the damn thing off, so I walk it over to her.

She shuts it off, her eyes searching the black paint with a panicked expression on her face.

"You need to turn it on." She says, looking at me.

"What?" I ask.

"The bike. Turn it on, I need to hear it so I will know it's okay."

"Amour, you just got launched off of a motorcycle-"

"Please!" She says.

"Okay." I say, looking at the bike and then at her. She points to the kickstart with her left hand, wincing.

"Get on the bike." She instructs.

Anxious, I throw my leg over the bike.

"Turn on the fuel." She says. I just stare at her. She tries getting up again.

"You need to go to the hospital."

"I am not going anywhere until I know that Lucia is okay!" She snaps.

"Lucia?" I repeat.

"Please." She says, pointing to the gas. I turn the thing.

She shows me how to do a tickle, where I hold two buttons to slightly flood the engine for five seconds. When I let go of the button, she shows me how to flick on the choke.

When I do, she takes a deep breath.

"Okay, stand up with your left leg." She says. I do as she says. "With your right leg, slam your foot down on the kickstart. Don't hesitate, so it like you're punching somebody okay? You don't do it and yank back, you do it and follow through with it. Understand?"

I cringe.

"Okay." I mumble. I look down at the contraption below me, raise my right foot, and slam down on the kickstart. I doesn't do anything.

"Try again." She says.

I do it again. And again. And again.

Finally, on the sixth try, the bike starts, the engine sounding like it's choking. She scoots closer to it, putting her hand on the seat next to my right thigh.

We all watch her and she feels the vibrations, and then she rips the key out of the ignition.