《Make Me STAY》Waiting For Us
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ATEEZ had been a hard-working group. Hongjoong especially would spend hours in his studio, often late at night and sometimes even spending the night there. However, Rose was sure that no one was quite as dedicated as her soulmate.
Currently, it was gone midnight and Chan was in his studio with no signs of leaving. It was Sunday and he had just started his V Live. Rose felt sorry for all the fans that would undoubtedly still be up at this time, but she knew Chan was upset with himself for not having the time to do it earlier.
From an empty room nearby where Rose had set herself up, she watched Channie's Room on V Live. Unknown to the leader, she was staying at work with him in case he needed anything. While she told herself it was part of her job, truthfully, she just wanted to be there for him. She knew that he often forgot to eat, brushing it off as saying that he didn't have time. Now that she was around Rose was going to make sure that Chan ate and looked after himself properly.
When he started talking about relating to lonely songs because he had felt lonely without Stray Kids, it hit her deep. Rose had a similarly lonely childhood, spending her school days being teased and bullied. Only once she had moved to Korea and started working with ATEEZ had she finally learnt what it meant to have friends who genuinely enjoyed her company and cared about her.
Now we've found each other we never have to be alone again.
When it was approaching the early hours of the morning, Rose wearily made her way down to her soulmate's studio and knocked on the door. Chan was obviously startled when he opened the door to see her standing there. He was tidying up the food she had brought him earlier.
"Let me do that. Go home and get some sleep. You have interviews with America in a few hours. Don't make Felix do all the talking because you're too tired to think straight."
Chan didn't dare argue against Rose's no-nonsense attitude and thanked her before gathering his stuff and leaving. With a sigh, she cleaned up the small mess her soulmate had left behind and then she couldn't help but straighten out the rest of the room a little.
Looking at the time, she calculated that she wouldn't have enough time to go home before she had to come back again. Rose lived further away from the company than the boys did, and she liked to get in early to make sure everything was ready for the day. Sitting on Chan's studio sofa, she wondered if he would mind if she took a nap here. Just the thought was enough to send her to sleep.
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They all had an early start the next day because of the time difference between Korea and America it was the best time for both sides to hold virtual interviews. When the boys arrived to get ready, Rose had made sure everything they and the staff would need was already set up.
"Noona, you look like Chan-Hyung after spending an all-nighter in the studio."
Unfortunately, there were some things that makeup couldn't cover-up, but her tiredness must have been really bad if it was that obvious.
"Thanks for pointing that out, Changbin. Just what every girl wants to hear."
"I didn't mean -"
"What Hyung meant to say was you look as beautiful as always, Noona."
"Thank you, Sweetie."
"How come Felix gets a cute nickname?"
"Is Jinnie jealous?"
Hyunjin swayed back and forth as he tried not to pout.
"No..."
"When you find your soulmate, they'll call you all the cute nicknames you want."
"But Lixie hasn't found his..."
The awkward atmosphere was broken by both Rose and the boys being called by members of staff, Rose to help finish setting up and the boys to get ready to go on camera.
However, Rose could barely focus on what she was being told to do. She and Felix had built a close relationship in such a short amount of time, and she felt almost at home in his presence. It was a feeling she hadn't felt with anyone before. It was the kind of happy and safe atmosphere she had hoped to have with her soulmate.
On the other side of the room, Felix was also lost in thought. Was it wrong that he was so close to his Hyung's soulmate? He was a people person, he made friends with everyone he met, but with Rose it was different. They had a connection and while he wasn't sure exactly what he would call it, he enjoyed her company. There was also a small part of him that felt like she needed him.
Chan wasn't unaware of the relationship between his soulmate and his best friend, his fellow Aussie. He knew that they were close, that they had been becoming friends while he was freaking out about finding his soulmate. It made him wonder what it would be like now if he had reached out and acknowledged their bond that first time that they met. In the end, what Chan wanted most was for both Rose and Felix to be happy.
While the young ones teased each other by coming up with the most sickenly sweet and cute nicknames they could, the other members were thinking about how much Rose coming into their lives had changed their group dynamic.
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Changbin, although not as close to Rose as Felix, had established a friendship with his leader's soulmate. Although he had known about who she was, Rose had caught his attention that first time they met at Wooyoung's apartment. He found her intriguing, almost like a puzzle he couldn't quite fit together. Yet, every time he looked at her, he felt a little pang in his heart as he remembers when Chan told him that Rose was his soulmate.
A dark cloud hung over the lead dancer. Minho had watched and listened very carefully to everything that was going on around him. The members of Stray Kids meant the world to him, and he would stand in the way of anything that might hurt them. Rose seemed to appear from nowhere. One night she had been a lucky fan and a few weeks later she was his leader's soulmate. From the moment Chan introduced her, Minho hadn't trusted her. His gut told him that something wasn't right, and he was determined to find out what.
The next time Chan went on V Live for Channie's room, Rose was working away in the room down the hall again. Although it wasn't as late as last time, that didn't mean that the hardworking leader wouldn't be staying in his studio until the early hours of the morning again. She had already stayed late a couple of nights this week, but nothing like the time Rose had ended up sleeping over at the company.
Many STAY had commented that Chan's weekly V Lives were like therapy sessions for them. In this particular one, Rose could see what her soulmate was trying to do, comfort his fans, but that didn't stop it from hurting to hear him talk about himself like that. After he had given his goodbye hug and turned the camera off, she couldn't stop herself from checking on him.
"Rose? What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you have gone home by now?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Rose studied Chan's face trying to get a read on how he was really feeling.
"You just pointed out all your 'flaws' live on camera."
"If I can make STAY feel better about themselves, then it's worth it."
"STAY wouldn't want to hurt yourself for their sake."
"I'm not - It's important to show that Idols are just ordinary people. Relatable."
"There's such a thing as being too honest. Make sure you don't share something that you'll regret later."
"Life is full of regrets. What's important is that we don't focus on them."
"If only it were that easy."
The two stared at each other until Rose had to look away. This conversation had gotten deep fast, but it was long overdue. Chan gestured for her to sit on the sofa while he turned his desk chair around to face her.
"So, you were watching? I bet you found it hard to relate."
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well, you're perfect."
Rose laughed.
"I'm far from perfect."
"Not to me."
Rose felt like her heart was caught in her throat. She crossed her arms, like a shield against his sweet words, or to hold herself together.
"This is all an act, a mask I put on. I pretend to be perfect to hide all my complexes."
She spat out the words as if they were bitter as if she were ashamed to even say them out loud.
"You hide yours. I show off mine. Either way, we both still have them. They're only a problem if they have a negative impact on you."
"Are you secretly studying to become a therapist?"
"Hm, thought I needed a backup back in case the whole Idol thing doesn't work out."
The two soulmates smiled at each other. Chan leaned forward and reached out, resting one of his hands on Rose's. Her eyes widened at the contact, and she realised how her mask tended to break around her soulmate the more time she spent with him. He was so open, and she wanted a little taste of that freedom.
"My name is Rose. Like the flower. Some would argue the most beautiful flower. The flower of love. I - I used to be teased at school for not living up to my name."
The gentle squeeze of Chan's hand gave her the strength to keep going.
"That's how I got into makeup. I wanted to be beautiful. Perfect. But at the end of the day, I take off my mask and... and I become that lonely, ugly, little girl again."
"You're beautiful. With or without makeup."
"You've never seen me without makeup."
"But Felix and Changbin have."
With a groan, Rose closed her eyes and rested her head in her hand.
"I almost didn't let them in that day for that very reason."
"They came home and immediately told me all about their visit. How cute you were. How it was unfair how naturally beautiful you were."
"They didn't!"
"They also told me how sad you were. I'm sorry you lost your job. I know you were close with ATEEZ."
"Yeah. They're good boys. So are Stray Kids."
Chan wanted to know if she had been sad because of him as well, but he couldn't bring himself to bring it up.
"I hope you're happy here. With us."
With me.
"I'm glad I'm here."
With you.
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