Every single time I'd swallow it hurt. Seven days ago they had actually put me under sedation and shoved a tube down my nose and all the way through my stomach. The other end of it was taped to my right cheek. Twice a day a nurse would push white liquid food that smelled like sugar water down me with an oversized syringe. It feels cold against the back of my throat and gets my gag reflex going each time. I remember when Doc Heartley came in, clack clack with her annoying heels, to tell me that the IV nutrients weren't enough anymore. That I was losing weight and that they had no other option but to force feed me through a tube to keep me and the baby alive. It wasn't really a choice; they just informed me. That second it felt like the world came crushing down on me; like my condition seriously couldn't get any worse. After the procedure I hit rock bottom. I was so depressed and grossed out with myself I didn't talk for 3 days. I just couldn't stand life like this anymore. But instead of getting deeper into my despair, one day it just stopped. I had pushed Hunter away, I had let so much out on him but through it all he was still there for me and never faltered. So maybe something just clicked in my head telling me I just had to stick it out, whatever perfidious sh*it destiny would throw at me next. I was already a wreck, I was already beyond caring about myself, so what was the point of dwelling on my own misery?

It was Monday afternoon now – not that it mattered what day of the week it was. One day was like the next in here. The back of my bed was in an almost upright position. Hunter's head rested on the mattress next to my arm. Lazily, I was running my finger through his messy blonde thatch . By now, my eyesight had gradually decreased to 50% but I had gotten used to the dark surrounding me and experienced how my other sensed had heightened. "Your hair is way too long, Hunter Easton Hayes," I spoke casually, even though I kind of liked it that way actually. His voice was muffled from the arm he'd buried his face in. "I can't be bothered with cutting it at the moment." He really had other things to worry about. After a long meeting with management two weeks ago, all parties had all agreed on a break. The scheduled appearance on a big American TV show had been cancelled and Hunter was let off all obligations for the next 8 weeks. This had taken some of his stress away and he could solely focus on me now. However, he was still busy enough with the daily trips between home and the hospital and he often seemed tired. My husband turned to face me. "How you feeling?," he wanted to know in a low voice. I hated this question. Over the past weeks it seemed like I had been asked this a billion times. "Alright," I answered staring somewhat blankly ahead as I couldn't identify his facial expressions anyway. "Whatcha thinking about?" Truthfully, I was already dreading the upcoming "feeding" session at 6pm this evening. Subconsciously, I scrunched up my nose in disgust. "How are the boys doing?" I tried to change the subject. This time I didn't even feel guilty about causing the band to quit work for a while – I was more than relieved to have Hunter with me more. "They're fine," Hunter assured me right away. "They're all happy about the break. Sam went off to Melbourne for a golfing holiday." A small smile pulled at my lips. Sam and his love for golfing – I never got it. "Devo and his girl want to spend some time in the Dominican Republic or something." I sighed. The last time we were able to go on a carefree couple holiday was...forever ago. "I can't believe they gave you guys time off." "They had to," Hunter's voice was stern and so was his look. I couldn't really imagine my husband leading tough negotiations but I guess that was exactly what it had come to at this meeting. He sat up and stretched his hurting back out. "Whatcha wanna watch later?" "Ummm, I dunno. What's on?" "The Superbowl." "That's tonight?" "Yeah." I had gotten used to hearing TV by now instead of watching. There were shows that were easier to follow like that than others. Football I couldn't even figure out while I was still able to see. Sport certainly wasn't on top of my list, but knowing how much of a fan my husband was I agreed. "Do you still have that football player friend of –" My words stopped mid sentence. Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my head. At the same time my heart was racing in my chest. In seconds it felt like my body temperature had risen by 10 degrees Celsius. I was burning up. My head fell back into the pillow. Some alarm went off on the machine that was monitoring my vital signs. "[Y/N]? What's wrong?" My mind was spinning and it was so hard to just keep breathing that it was impossible for me to answer. My eyes closed and I was lying there panting for air. Hunter jumped up and searched my body for any sign that had caused this seizure. He instantly went for the red button next to my head, pressing it to call for help. "[Y/N]? [Y/N]?! Stay with me, ok?!" His hand touched my cheek that was hot and flushed. He nervously looked towards the door and was about to run out there when it opened and a nurse and a male doctor rushed in. "What happened?," the man asked in a collected manner. His name tag read "Dr. J. Ackerman". "She just stopped talking and then the alarm went off." Hunter was all flustered. " What's wrong with her?," he asked worriedly. The stocky, middle-aged man checked the ratings on the monitor while the nurse pressed an oxygen mask to my mouth. "Her blood pressure is dangerously elevated. It's most probably preeclampsia." "Steroids?," the nurse asked his way. "No," Dr. Ackerman replied, "We need to act quickly now. Get a theatre ready for an emergency C-section."