A/N: Please listen to the video on the side! :) -->

Two months.

It's been two months since I have last seen or communicated with Cody.

In the past two months, I have felt myself slowly dying inside. The life in me was gradually draining away as I felt my emotions being extracted from my numb heart.

Cody was my everything. My world revolved around him.

Whenever I was sad, he was my shoulder to cry on.

Whenever I was upset, he could always rascal a smile or laugh out of me.

Whenever I needed support, he always welcomed me with open arms.

Where was he now -- when I needed a shoulder to cry on, a genuine smile or laugh, and an embrace from two pairs of open arms the most?

You never truly know how much somebody can mean to you until they're gone.

Even though Cody wasn't in my life anymore, I was still greatful to know that Alli would still be by my side. Our relationship didn't change one bit -- if anything, it only got better. For the rest of her time in Florida, she visited me in the Hospital and came to my regular check-ups until I was dispatched about two weeks after the incident.

My family had also been incredibly supportive.

"Pamela, she's doing it again." . . .Speaking of family.

I blinked my eyes several times as I looked up to meet my dad's brown eyes. His lips were pursed and he studied me with great concern.

"What?" Pamela stormed into the kitchen. "Honey, give her a break. Don't you remember how your first heart-break felt?" She continued on the conversation as if I wasn't in the room. "Oh, right, you're too old to remember."

Dad frowned. "I'm going to ignore that comment."

"Because you know it's true," Pamela teased, pecking him on the cheek. Then she turned around to face me. "How are you feeling, baby doll?" She asked.

I nodded my head slowly. "I'm feeling great," I lied. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, 'cause you just got your hear--"

Pamela cut my dad off. "Dear." She sternly said. My dad sent me an apologetic look as he put his head down in shame. Pamela looked up to face me again. "I'm sorry about your father."

I shook my head. "It's fine, Pam." I said. "I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Lie, lie, lie.

Pamela smiled assuringly at me; not believing what I'd just said.

"Great!" My dad said, clapping his hands in excitement. "Now we can talk about our little vacation we've been planning." I loved my dad a lot, he truly was amazing, but it kind of annoyed me at how oblivious he was to certain situations.

Maybe Pamela was right. Maybe he was too old to remember his first heart-break.

"Sweetie, don't pre--"

I cut Pamela off. "It's okay, Pam." I smiled. "I have a final answer."

My dad had been talking about a family vacation he wanted all four of us to go on sometime. I was hesitant about it at first, but now I (think) I had my final answer. Yes.

But -- what if Cody changes his mind and decides that he truly does want me? He won't know where I am or be able to come looking for me.

Stop thinking like that Santana, remember what happened the day he left you. He made it clear that he wanted to do nothing with you. You're just a memory now; someone part of his past. He's moving on. You should too.

I know, I know, I know. But, what if he's thinking about me like I'm thinking about him right now? What if faith will stop trying to screw me over and we'll finally end up together somehow?

You're only wishful thinking, Santana. Shut up and stop arguing with me, I'm the smart part of your brain.

It was a done-deal. I would go on this vacation, try my best to have fun, and do all I could to forget about Cody. I mean, he was probably doing the same thing to me, right?

"And you're final answer is. . ." My dad started.

I pursed my lips before answering. "Yes."

"Jackpot!" My dad beamed. "Start packing. We leave in two days."

I forced a fake smile before excusing myself and rushing upstairs, not wanting to be quizzed on one of Pamela's many questions. I plopped down on my bed and took my iPhone out from under my pillow. I had four new text messages - two from my friends back home, one from Alli, and one from my biological mom.

I decided to open the one from Alli up first.

- - -

Sis

Me: lol, we had an allnighter last night, you dork xD

Sis

Me: nm, bored. the usual. you? :D

Sis

Me: nice & nothing's changed in the past 24 hours, lol xD

- - -

I frowned at my phone. I wanted to tell her about the vacation I was going on, but I wasn't in the mood for being down-pooled with questions. I guess I'll just tell her another time.

- - -

Cody's (P.O.V.)

"Move over, Alli." I mumbled, trying to crawl over her lap.

Alli elbowed me in the stomach. "No," she screeched, "get off of me."

"I will -- just give me your phone!" I demanded.

"Let me think about it," Alli paused. "Ah, no."

"Don't be like that, Alli." I frowned. "Please?"

"She's doing alright, Cody." Alli assured me. "Just calm down. It's really not a big deal."

I slammed my fist against the couch in frustration. Not because I was angry with Alli, but because I was angry with myself. How could I have been so stupid to let the one good thing that I had in my life slip away from my finger tips?

"Are you okay?"

I looked up to meet Alli's concerned eyes. She looked awe-struck. She's never seen this side of me before.

What side? I didn't even know what to call it. I've never acted like this before. My head was messing with me, and I felt like I wouldn't be able to handle anything much longer before I exploded. "I'm fine -- just -- please."

Alli sighed before giving me her phone. I went to her last notifcation and clicked on the text conversation with her and Santana. I smiled to myself as I read it, happy to know that she was okay.

She was alright.

She didn't need me.

She wasn't as hurt as I was.

And that's all that mattered to me. That she was okay.

At least one of us was keeping everything together.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Grr! Cody is such an idiot D':

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