T W E N T Y - F I V E

I S A A C

➸ three and a half months later

i've always loved christmas.

it was my favourite day of the year, as a kid. mum and dad were amazing at it. even the year i found out father christmas wasn't real.

that was a sad year.

but christmas miracles are definitely a thing. i've seen love actually enough time to know that.

i've been a couple of dates since henry; they were pretty okay, actually. but now - after all this time - maybe it's worth one last shot.

and i'd just like to reassure everyone i have absolutely one hundred per cent moved on from henry. i'm just very in the spirit of christmas. all alone in this house, with only a tiny christmas tree and the christmas special of downton abbey to comfort me.

fuck it, i'm going now.

❄

it's cold. too cold. in fact, there are little flakes of snow dusting my shoulders as i wait impatiently outside henry's flat.

god, i love snow.

i'm not sure this was such a good idea. actually, i don't think this was a good idea at all. i'm going.

"isaac?"

henry has finally opened the door, dressed in a christmas jumper and a pair of black jeans, looking shocked. i wave half-heartedly at him.

"er...hello?"

i probably should've written a speech first. god, it's like i've never even seen love actually.

henry smiles at me slightly, still looking shocked. "come in."

come come come come come, i think furiously to myself as henry leads me inside, and maybe i start saying out loud too, because he sends me a very funny look.

there's quite a lot of people inside, actually, and lots of music and alcohol. in the corner, i can see shania pretending to giggle shyly at a ridiculously handsome man in a black suit, clutching a glass of whisky in one hand.

i shake my head to myself. some things never change.

i soon realise that isaac isn't the only one wearing a christmas jumper. in fact, everyone's wearing a christmas jumper. and there's mariah carey playing in the background. hang on, this is a christmas party!

isaac hands me a drink - i'm too busy gawping to notice what it is - and taps on my shoulder. "is there something you wanted to say?" he asked.

"yeah," i mumbled.

"WHAT?" he shouted.

"let's go somewhere a bit quieter."

❄

we go into the kitchen, which is empty apart from some beer bottles. i notice a few cds from the smiths in the bin.

"so," i said, giving him an accusatory look. "you're having a christmas party."

henry nodded. "with the people from work." at my frown, he elaborated. "i got a new job. i'm the secretary for a law firm now. it's very serious."

"right," i said. "new job."

he smiled and took another sip of his drink. "what about you?"

i looked down at the floor. "i'm fine."

"MORE MARIAH CAREY!" someone shouted in the living room.

"no!" shania cried.

the cd started up in the background as i continued on. "so i came here to ask you some stuff. and stuff -"

i don't want a lot for christmas

"okay," henry said, not smiling.

"i still love you, henry," i blurted out. "and i came here because love actually told me to and because i don't want to watch the downton special alone, and because i love mariah carey - but most of all i love you. hen, i love you," i told him, and as i finished my speech, mariah finished her verse.

all i want for christmas is you

❄

lucy xox