I think the best way to start this would be from the beginning. First off, I want to say that there are two distinct portions of this book

1. reality

and

2. what happens in Louis' mind.

Focus on this next bit.

I'll start by telling you what actually happened and I think that way it'll be easier to follow. Okay so in the very first chapter, Harry 'dropped his camera' on his way to work.

What profession involves a camera? Harry's a photographer.

Louis is a model. He sees Louis for the first time on the cover of a magazine, and has a photo shoot with him. This is indicated when Louis says in memoir 1: "it's a nice change to the usual one-sided 'place your head this way' or 'give me another pose' "

From this you can tell that Harry was working with Louis and giving him directions.

They bond and fall in love. They have a healthy, normal relationship and they eventually admit to loving each other. The chapter labeled "eros," shows different phrases that Louis uses throughout the course of their relationship. I'll come back to this later.

After Louis tells Harry he loves him, Harry decides to surprise him with something. Louis already knew there was a surprise because Harry was 'always bad at keeping those a secret'

Look at the very last chapter one more time. Harry goes to the store where he saw Louis' picture for the first time to get him something. Then he 'told someone it was for his boyfriend'

A man did something. Next thing that happens, Harry is dead.

Think about it; he told a man that he was getting something for his boyfriend and then he ends up lifeless. Harry died as a victim of a gay hate-crime.

Keep in mind, this is what happens in reality.

Louis is distraught because of the sudden passing away of his boyfriend. And as a result, he creates an alternate to this reality in his mind. He creates a world in which he meets Harry under completely different circumstances and Harry is a completely different person. This next line isn't part of the story, but it's what motivated me while I was writing this:

He would rather have him alive as a murderer, than have him dead as the love of his life.

Now bear with me here, everything from chapter 1-45 did not happen. To make it easier, I'll call everything that happened in Louis' mind, "utopia"

In both reality and utopia, the first time Harry sees Louis is on January 19th 2014

You know how the story goes in reality, but Louis can't live with what actually happened, so he unfolds their story in a completely different way. He makes Harry a serial killer with seemingly pure and innocent intentions.

Louis does this because his boyfriend died a violent death, and that violence is reflected in the Harry that's in utopia.

Chapter 1-45? Louis' mind.

The news articles? Products of Louis' mind.

So as you can see, Louis fails to recognize what is real. It is implied that he suffers from schizophrenia, which some of you could tell.

Let's talk about utopia. In this world, Louis doesn't love Harry. I am not romanticizing kidnapping in this fic nor Stockholm syndrome. If anything, he hates him. But he had to be manipulative, otherwise Harry would have killed him. He needed to survive, so he pretends to love him. In utopia, Louis stabs Harry so that he may be free, but he has a conscience so that is why he is glad Harry is not dead.

"Oh thank god, I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt."

The main reason he creates this world, is because in the end, Harry lives.

He may be a murderer, he may be sick, he may be as far from the real Harry as is humanly possible,

But he lives.

That's what Louis wanted. He wants to live a different scenario, where in the end Harry does not die.

Naturally, a person like Louis would need help. The woman he is speaking to, who questions him about Harry (the one who says Harry never killed anyone) is his therapist. Most of you caught onto this bit and I'm glad for that.

In aftermath 1, the first time she is introduced to us, she says

"I'm going to show you these pictures one more time Louis and I need you to dig deep, you know what happened to Harry"

She wants him to acknowledge what happened to his boyfriend, that he was killed as a result of a gay hate-crime.

To do this, she shows him three photos. Each picture triggers a memory for Louis.

1. The first photo is from the beginning of Louis and Harry's relationship. It's labeled .

The memory involves the two bonding over their mutual addiction to cigarettes, a thing most men who smoke bond over. Louis says that it's nice that they're having an actual conversation instead of Harry just giving him directions.

2. The second photo is labeled . The memory it triggers marks the first time Harry told Louis that he loved him. It's meant to show how happy they were together and to give you a little insight on what the real Harry was like before he died.

3. The third photo, , reminds Louis of when he told Harry he loved him back. It's meant to show how Harry changed Louis' outlook on life for the better. Harry made him believe in love and Louis was happy.

Once all the photo's are shown to him, Louis remembers everything and he stops living in utopia. He comes back to reality.

^^

In the chapter labeled eros, you may notice that all the phrases Louis says are taken from the parenthesis () in chapter 1-45.

Louis says these particular phrases to Harry at different times throughout the course of their relationship.

I'm just re-adding the eros chapter over here because I think that'll help:

Get lost

You should stop

Fuck off, leave me alone.

Please (laughing) let me go.

Never, not until you kiss me.

Please stop (crying) you're hurting me

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry (kissing his cheeks) I didn't mean to. You should have told me earlier Louis, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry (Kissing his lips) I'm so sorry baby, it's my fault this happened. I love you.

(pushing him off of him, weak) I could never love you.

(Hurt, holding him immediately) I didn't mean to cause you any pain Louis,(hugs him tighter) you know I never did. I love you (kiss) I love you (kiss) I love you. (Louis resists at first, then withdraws. Harry Places his chin on Louis' head, rocking him back and forth 'til Louis falls asleep) Please forgive me Lou, (whispers) you're the only person I want to care about me.

I love you

I'm happy when you kiss me

I can't do it

It's okay Louis. Lifetimes. Always remember that.

Look at the parts where Louis speaks, do they look familiar? These phrases were incorporated into utopia by Louis. He wanted the alternate to seem real to him, so he used these parts in utopia.

Why is Louis crying in this chapter, did Harry hurt him?

In every relationship, it is normal for the two people involved to want to get intimate. Louis and Harry tried, but Harry stopped because Louis was in pain, which is again, perfectly normal. But since Harry hurt him, Louis feels betrayed and in a split second, says 'I could never love you' out of anger.

However, as the chapter progresses, you can tell that with time, Louis forgave him.

Alright, I think I tied up all the loose ends so now I'll answer your questions.

Q. Is Harry's mom dead?

Nope. Anna and Anne are different people. Anna was the utopian Harry's victim. Anne was his mother, who took the fall for him when he killed his father.

Q. Did Louis kill Anna, Sara, John and Robin?

No, these four weren't real people, since they were part of the utopia Louis created. The only person that actually died in this story was Harry.

Q. Did Louis love Harry?

In reality, yes.

Q. The moments with H and L, were those flashbacks?

Yes, they were effectively flashbacks.

Q. Why did you switch POV's from Harry to Louis at one point?

Technically, I didn't. Since Louis created utopian Harry, it was all Louis. He was pulling the strings in this world.

Q. Who is the protagonist of this story?

Both the protagonist and antagonist are Louis, and they always have been.

Q. Why did Louis kill Harry?

After reading this I think you know now that Louis didn't kill Harry.

Q. Why do you change formats a lot?

Notice how utopia is written with less detail and in a different way as compared to reality. I wanted to stress the contrast. This was the hint that utopia ended and reality started in this book.

Q. Who killed Harry?

It's not important to the plot. The 'who' doesn't affect Louis as gravely as the fact that Harry is gone.

Q. Are you a boy?

Lol yes, I am a dude. Boy. Guy. Whatever you wanna call it.

Q. Did they give Harry the death sentence?

Nope.

Q. If Louis controls utopia, why doesn't he make it pleasant?

In the end, he doesn't end up with Harry, just like in reality. But this is a scenario he is willing to accept. Reality was pleasant for Louis, but it didn't stay that way, so he didn't want the same for utopia.

I wrote this story because I wanted people to question the lengths they would go to in order to experience a certain emotion, be it anger, sadness, happiness or love.

When one questionable aspect of your personality is amplified, would you really be considered border-line insane?

I hope this helped and if you still have any questions feel free to drop a comment below and I'll try my best to answer you. And thankyou for reading up until here, it really does mean the world to me. This is officially the last part of Blasé and I love you all so much.

-Daniel