《Behind Closed Curtains (Desires of the Forbidden)》Chapter 23

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I had been sitting outside of the bar Kaleb worked at for ten minutes now.

Kaleb was waiting inside for me to walk in any minute. Kaleb and his sister.

I was terrified of meeting her.

Would she like me? Would she be as kind and understanding as her brother?

I had spent the majority of the last ten minutes mulling over the idea of copping out, driving home, and blaming my absence on traffic or a sickness. Yet somehow, I was almost certain Kaleb wouldn't buy it.

So, with that resounding notion floating through my mind, I swallowed my fears and stepped out of my car, and walked into the bar.

My eyes scurried around the inside of the vaguely familiar bar until one set of bright blue eyes found mine in the crowd. Kaleb's curly, midnight head of hair popped up from where he was sitting a few booths back into the bar with another woman; with his sister presumably.

Without pause, Kaleb began to stalk towards me in eager strides.

My feet stayed planted in their place as I watched him approach me, his face glowing with warmth as his lips lifted into the sweetest looking grin as he came to a stop in front of me.

"Hey, Peaches." Once again, the rich quality of his deep voice struck my body with an electrifying start, my heart writhing in my chest from the tender greeting he gave me.

"Hi," I muttered out, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear as my eyes flitted from Kaleb's to the mysterious woman sitting, facing away from us at the booth he was just at.

"If it helps, she's just as curious to meet you," Kaleb mused out suddenly, causing a blush to burn onto my cheeks for being caught staring at his sister.

"I'm not sure much of anything would help at this point."

"It will be fine, I promise." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kaleb raise his hand and hold it out to me, palm up and waiting for mine.

"You ready?"

My stare was fixed on his as my level of anticipation soared through the roof and the butterflies began to ram around inside of me almost violently. Pushing my anxiety to the back of my mind, I settled my own hand inside of Kaleb's large one, our fingers lacing together as naturally as if they'd done it a hundred times before.

Kaleb and I walked back through the bar hand in hand; my hand secured tightly in Kaleb's protective hold as I tried to fight off the spark of giddy excitement every time he would brush his thumb out and across my fingers lovingly.

I was quite lost in my own mind as I reveled in Kaleb and I's intimate connection. My lapse of concentration came back to bite me in the butt seconds later as Kaleb had stopped walking I found myself staring at a perfect stranger with the exact shade of midnight colored hair that Kaleb had with absolutely nothing prepared to say.

Thankfully, Kaleb swooped in and saved the conversation that hadn't even commenced yet.

"Carrie, this is Leah. Leah, Carrie, my sister."

Carrie didn't say anything for a minute, her sea green eyes dropping down and taking in her brother and I's intertwined fingers. I stood stoic in front of her as she analyzed me; as she analyzed us.

After what felt like a century, Carrie's calculating stare snapped up to her brothers as she spoke.

"I think it would be best if I talked to her alone," Carrie told Kaleb, her voice coming out in a lower register than expected.

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At her words, a spike of fear impaled through my fragile mind and my hand instinctively tightened around Kaleb's.

"That's not what we talked about, Care," Kaleb told his sister in a dominating tone.

"I know but I've changed my mind."

"I'm not leaving," Kaleb argued right back just as defiantly.

"I'm not asking you to leave, I'm asking you to go actually do your job while I talk to her." Carried kept her stare insistent on his and for the first time since I had met Kaleb, I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to hold his ground.

"It's not even busy right now," Kaleb argued exasperatedly as he gestured his arm out in the direction of the barely half way full bar. It was after all still daylight outside on a Wednesday afternoon; not a very popular time for drinking I had to assume.

"Kaleb, if you want me to have any chance at actually getting through to her, then you can't be there. Plain and simple," Carrie declared with a shrug, talking as if I wasn't standing just in front of her.

"Why not?" Kaleb asked, sounding somewhat like a peevish child.

"Kaleb, stop being a baby about it," Carrie said as she turned to grab her beer that I had just noticed on the table and took a swig out of it before landing her eyes on mine.

"Do you trust Kaleb?" she asked, addressing me for the first time today.

Her question was so blunt and so seemingly random that I was taken completely back for a moment.

Did I?

As I thought through the facts of how he is the only person in the world who could calm me down with just a look, now through careful physical contact, how he has constantly been there for me over the last couple months and watching over me, making me feel safe and protected for a change, I could only come to one resounding conclusion.

"Yes."

I felt pressure on my hand as Kaleb squeezed it in his own thankfully as my answer became known.

"Then you can trust me," Carrie continued on, turning her gaze back to Kaleb with an unrelenting look embedded in her eyes. "And she'll be fine."

I heard as Kaleb took in a heavy, defeated sigh next to me that sparked a sliver of panic deep within my mind.

Kaleb's shoulder brushed against mine, alerting me that he had turned to face me and I quickly did the same, coming within just inches of Kaleb's devastatingly handsome face.

"I know this isn't what I told you would happen but... you can trust her. I swear she knows what she's talking about and I'll be right behind the bar if you need anything or just need a break from talking," Kaleb stated as his eyes poured into mine affectionately, his thumb rubbing soft circles on my wrist.

"Don't hesitate to tell her that you need a break," Kaleb continued on adamantly. "She can be sort of a ball buster sometimes and doesn't realize or care that she's crossed the line so just tell her and she'll back off, okay?"

With hesitation evident in my stare, I nodded.

"I'll be 20 feet away the whole time, okay? Just call me if you need me."

Again, I nodded.

Almost solemnly so, he nodded as well. Then, my hand was moving up by Kaleb's accord and his head swooped down, his smooth lips finding the tops of my knuckles as he placed a ginger kiss upon them.

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My heart leaped and writhed in my chest at the sweet and intimate gesture. Kaleb's gaze flicked back up to mine with a barrage of intense emotions swirling through his stare as he reluctantly slipped his hand from mine.

I fought back the sudden urge to snap my hand back out and take his hand in mine once more. My hand was left empty and eerily cold as I watched Kaleb stalk away and back behind the bar, grabbing a white towel and tossing it over his shoulder as he tried to go back to work.

Feeling suddenly very uncomfortable and anxious without Kaleb's presence there to calm me, I slowly turned myself back to the booth where Carrie was sitting. Trying to seem as natural as possible, I slid into the seat across the table from Carrie, the maroon upholstery of the booth making an unpleasant noise with every movement I made to settle myself into my seat.

"You seem to handle physical touch pretty well, better than I ever did," Carried observed.

Sparing her a fleeting glance, I shook my head.

"Only with Kaleb."

Carrie hummed in response and I could see her nod her head contemplatively.

"It's so strange," she commented, bringing my attention to her as she let her curious gaze wander over my face. "It's like looking in a mirror. I mean not exactly since you're prettier than I ever was but everything else... the demeanor, the constant fear in your eyes... it's all a spitting image of how I used to be when I was with Rick."

Her cut down towards herself forced me to take a closer look at Carrie. She wasn't unattractive at all. In fact, I thought she was quite beautiful with her long raven hair and plump, yet curvaceous figure. But I could also see how cruel those years with her husband had been to her. She couldn't have been older than 30 and yet the bags under her eyes and the prominent frown lines around her mouth aged her five to seven years.

I didn't have the chance to comment though on how pretty I actually thought she was as Carrie pile drove through the conversation, leading it exactly where she planned on going.

"Let me guess, you have a set schedule with him. You make him breakfast before he goes to work, clean while he's away and he comes home to a nice cooked meal? And if any of that falls through or a meal is burnt or something he doesn't like, it's your fault and you get the shit beat out of you for it?"

I tried to form a rebuttal, only to have Carrie cut me off and continue on with her presumptions.

"You're afraid to talk back to him or tell him no. You're always on edge, waiting for the next time he's gonna explode or terrified that one day he'll up and leave you because you're so worthless and he could of course do much better?" she asked with bitter sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Does he do that, Leah? Does this Zach fucker tell you you're a worthless piece of space, or an idiot, or that no other guy would want you because you're so fucking helpless?"

I didn't want to answer. She already knew the answer, of that I was certain. By the tone she was using, the knowing glint in her eyes as she stared at me from across the table, she knew exactly what my answer would be.

Instead of responding, I sent my gaze back down to the table, taking an interest in the patterns engraved within the wood.

"That's what I thought."

"He's not like that all the time. He has good moments," I tried to counter back in a frail voice with very little conviction sitting behind my words.

"They all have good moments, Leah. But they also all have moments like a few nights ago where my brother called me in a fucking panic because he couldn't get a hold of you after hearing what I can only assume was some pretty disturbing shit by the way he was acting."

My lips parted in mournful shock and my heart clenched painfully in my chest as I thought of what Kaleb must have gone through that night.

It was an equally miserable night for the both of us.

"Take it from someone who has spent 6 pointless years of her life hoping for that change he talked about and ignored all of the signs and bad moments that proved he wouldn't be changing."

Carrie leaned forward, bringing her face closer to mine, letting her assertive stare bore into mine with a deep intensity as she spoke.

"This is how it will always be. He will never change. Rick didn't change, Zach won't change, and neither will any of the other shits out there that abuse their partners for their own sick, insecure reasons."

My face was blank of emotion, her words tumbling through my mind on repeat.

He will never change.

"Let me ask you something that I'm positive I already know the answer to." Her lips pursed in annoyance as she voiced her question.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes," I answered back quickly, yet... not as confidently as I once had.

She rolled her eyes with my response and nodded her head, grabbing her beer and taking another swig.

"As expected," she muttered as she placed the beer bottle back on the table and once again leaned forward on the table with a spark of suppressed curiosity bubbling behind her stare.

"Now, here's a question I was asked back when I was with Rick after he put me in the hospital, the miserable prick," she grumbled more to herself before finding her way back to the real question.

"If you didn't believe any of the shit Zach has been telling you about yourself and you could have any man in the world and they would love you and cherish you ... would that man still be Zach?"

Unintentionally, my eyes flew over to the man behind the bar.

My heartbeat had picked up and was now beating erratically, pounding mercilessly in my chest as I greedily took in the sight of him. My eyes swept over his broad back as he was turned away from me, reminiscing in the times I had raked my nails down that very back as he brought me to the brink of my pleasure.

Then his lips. My eyes dropped to his full lips, memorized by their movement as he talked with a customer. Those lips that had kissed me breathless as well as melted my heart and my barriers with their sincerity and compassion.

And then he looked to me. His bright eyes connected with mine and sent my heart into overdrive. There was just something within his gaze that I couldn't seem to get over... something that calmed my mind, soothed my fears, and filled my heart to the brim with such a powerful adoration that it often left me utterly confused and yet thrilled.

Then he smiled a breathtaking, heartwarming smile and in that moment, I knew my answer.

Turning my wide, bewildered stare back to Carrie's, I shook my head 'No'.

Her face lit up, a smug smile lifting on her thin lips as she leaned back in the booth.

"Some freaky shit isn't it? Just one question and your whole mind and what you thought you knew is fucked," Carrie said with a self-assured nod.

"Now, there are a lot of similarities between us and what we've been through, but there's one major difference. Actually, there's a shit ton of differences but I'm only focusing on the one for now," she spoke hurriedly as she came back from her momentary tangent.

"I waited six years before my husband put me in the hospital and almost killed me before I finally bit the bullet and left. I waited too long, Leah. I'm forever fucked because of it. As I'm sure you've noticed I'm not meek and shy like I used to be. I'm blunt and hard and don't open up to anyone because fuck that shit. I can't have anybody touch me who isn't Kaleb or our dad. I won't ever be stable enough for another relationship and I have so many damn panic attacks when I got out in public that I just stay home most of the time because I'm too fucking scared to leave my house."

"Don't let that be you, Leah. If you get out now while you're still only a few years into the relationship, a couple into the abuse... you can get better. You can have a normal life. Sure, you'll have to get a therapist but as I'm already seeing with Kaleb... there's still a lot of hope for you to come out of the other end of this shit hand you were dealt in life. The only person though who can make it happen, the only person who can give you your life back, is you."

Carries eyes pierced into mine as she spoke, her words pungent and ripping through my mind and heart with their powerful potency

"Leah, you gotta take the life you have now by the horns and make it your own life because it's the only one you're going to get. Don't let some insecure fucker take that from you."

Silence hung in between us. Her speech had come to its end and I was left staring at her, complete dumbfound etched onto my face as her words overwhelmed my thoughts.

"Plus," she spoke up after letting the silence sit for a decent amount of time, her eyes lighting up and a small smirk playing at her lips. "You have Kaleb so far wrapped around that little finger of yours that the poor thing doesn't even know it yet." She laughed at her own joke, shaking her head with a heavy glint of pride welling in her sea green stare.

"That man will be there for you every step of the way. He's been a rock for me and he'll be a rock for you too. Just don't string him along for too long, kay?" she ordered with a stern raise of her brows.

"That boy has a heart made of fucking gold and there's obviously something going on between you two. The way you depend on him and trust him, the way he looks and talks about you, anyone would have to be blind not to see it. Just from the short time I saw you two together just now, the connection is there and it's deep so don't let Zach fuck that up for the both of you, okay?"

Mouth agape and eyes slightly enlarged, I didn't know what to say so I simply nodded.

"Good," Carrie said with a curt nod as she leaned back in her seat, taking her beer with her and tipping it back, taking a long drink.

In that moment, I also longed for a drink.

A drink to help with the swirling thoughts, questions and ultimate decisions I would have to make. After that entire conversation, I would leave with far more questions than answers. But one thing had become very, very clear.

Something had to change.

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