《Behind Closed Curtains (Desires of the Forbidden)》Chapter 12
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I sat alone in the audience as Monday's rehearsal came to a close.
I liked it that way, especially since all day had consisted of people asking why I had run off stage so suddenly, disappearing for ten or so minutes.
Telling people that I just really had to use the bathroom was becoming old and I was tired of people asking if I had a bladder problem.
Yet, the thing that had been ruling my mind for the majority of the rehearsal was the irritating fact that Kaleb had not tried to talk to me once out of character.
Every time there was a break in a scene, I expected him to bombard me with the questions that everyone else had been all day long. But he didn't.
Kaleb was simply calm, cool, and collected throughout rehearsal, refusing to talk to me, refusing to acknowledge anything that had taken place at Friday's rehearsal.
And it bugged the ever living shit out of me.
Why? Why out of all times did he choose now to stop trying to weasel his way into my life? Was he scared off by the bruises? Did he get his sexual fill out of our bedroom scene and found no other use for me?
I couldn't for the life of me figure out the cause behind his sudden silence. On a few occasions, I caught him staring at me, always with a certain look buried so deeply behind his gaze that I found it impossible to decipher in the few seconds before he looked away.
And as I sat, brooding in my own swirling thoughts, I had come to the conclusion that it was better that way.
What happened on Friday... was despicable. I was despicable.
Kaleb's sensual words, the way his lips moved against my skin, his powerful fingers dominating touch all over my body... it was too much. He was too much for me.
Just because I was stunned and elated at the sudden explosion of awoken pleasure within me didn't give me the excuse to act the way I did.
I deserved the panic attack that came swiftly afterwards as a punishment for my actions. I needed to brutal reminder that I could never let myself get so lost in Kaleb again without being reprimanded.
"Hey!"
My mind was ripped out of its depressing reaffirmation's as Meg's voice cut through my thoughts.
Her bright eyes gleamed with joy and she bounced her way over to me, her short, dark hair bobbing up and down with every peppy step she took my way. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as she plopped herself down next to me without asking
"How's it going?" she asked with a wide grin.
"It's fine."
"You?" I asked to keep up the polite tone of the conversation even though I wanted nothing more than for it to cease existing as quickly as it came to life.
"I'm great! My birthday was actually on Saturday and Dave got me the most beautiful diamond bracelet with the sweetest message engraved on the charm," Meg gushed happily as the feeling of guilt quickly stormed my mind.
"I didn't know it was your birthday." I spared her a cursory, but genuine apologetic look.
"Oh, it's fine! I didn't tell anyone," Meg said with a kind smile as she leaned in closer to me. "It's not like I want the whole world knowing I'm aging another year," she whispered to me secretively and playfully, making me feel as though I was in on a very personal joke; as though her and I were the closest of friends.
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My lips quirked slightly up in an unintentional smile, awarding Meg a small laugh that pushed through my nostrils.
The sudden lightness that entered our atmosphere was thrown out abruptly and replaced with an almost suffocating darkness just seconds later with Meg's blunt question.
"Can I ask you something personal?"
My mouth opened, ready to retort but my words stumbled and I ended up muttering something unintelligible instead of any actual words.
"I know that was really sudden and random but," she paused, taking in a deep sigh, her face taking on a reflective look. "You're just so quiet and I'm... not, if you haven't noticed already." She laughed lightly at her own joke.
"I just... I don't know. I feel like you're a really sweet person and I'd like to get to know you."
I was completely out of my element.
There wasn't anything to really know about me; nothing that I could say out loud at least. But I couldn't exactly tell her 'no' without coming across like a total bitch.
Nerves began to roll around like a tidal wave through my stomach, my hands breaking out into an almost instantaneous sweat.
"Um, I-" My words caught in my mouth, tasting utterly foreign to me as I prepared to speak them.
"What do you want to know?"
Please don't ask anything too personal. Simple questions.
I watched Meg as her eyes illuminated with delight, a wide smile stretching across her face. She shifted in her chair, turning herself so that her body was facing me with an excited curiosity glowing on her face.
"Okay, so I know this is super forward for my first question but it's been driving me crazy ever since we started the play," Meg said in a rush of words, her gleeful eyes never leaving mine.
"Is there something going on with you and Kaleb?"
I couldn't help the widening of my eyes and the drop of my jaw as her question hit me.
"No," I quickly denied, shaking my head as my mind scrambled. "Why would you think that?" I asked under my breath, being conscious of the possible greedy ears around us.
Now, it was her turn for her eyes to widen as she looked across my face for any signs of joking.
"Are you serious? You can't tell me that you don't feel the chemistry between you guys. You've got to at least be attracted to him! Hell, I'm attracted to him, I think even Dave is attracted to him!" she exclaimed.
"He's handsome, yeah," I agreed as nonchalantly as I could.
"That man is sex on a stick and you know it."
I openly blanched at Meg and her crude statement and yet, I couldn't help the small bit of laughter that pulled through my lips as I stared at her.
She cracked her own smile and joined in on the laughter. We were both giggling like school girls now, our joy echoing softly through the theater, and man did it feel good.
I hadn't laughed, honestly laughed in what felt like ages, and it felt like heaven as the elation sunk into my soul and warmed it along with the unexpected companionship I had found within Meg for at least this moment in time.
"You know it's true," Meg accused playfully as our laughing fit began to die down.
I chose not to answer her. I simply hung my head low, trying to conceal the smile that was still settled on my face as I pictured Kaleb literally tied onto a large stick, shirtless, and drenched in honey.
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Why my mind chose to cover him in honey, I'll never know.
"Your connection is practically palpable. I can't even get within ten feet of you two without choking on the sexual tension surrounding you two," Meg continued, causing my cheeks to burn with embarrassment.
"Plus, it doesn't help that he keeps looking over here and hasn't taken his eyes off of you since I sat down."
Her words triggered a wave of shock and thrill to zip through my body.
Slowly, I turned my head in the direction of the stage.
And sure enough he was.
His eyes were intense as they connected to mine.
Blue on brown. Dominating on fragile. Our stares held each other's in a fierce connection that shook the atmosphere around us. It was undeniable; the excitement, the anxiety, and the desire that Kaleb stirred within me.
Emotions that I had all but forgotten about until Kaleb entered my life.
And yet, even as I was readily accepting our chemistry as more real than life itself and that our connection was almost tangible, I knew it would never be anything more than a fleeting thought through both of our minds.
With a sigh, I tore my eyes from Kaleb's acute stare, and dropped my gaze to my lap where my fingers with the hem of my dress.
"I have a boyfriend," I admitted to Meg.
"Oh," I heard her say dejectedly, the energy around her physically dimming.
"But that's nice though," she quickly inserted into the pregnant pause of our conversation.
"I'm glad that you have someone to make you happy." Her tone was hopeful and I knew that I wouldn't be able to look up into her soft gaze and lie to her.
"He does," I replied, keeping my eyes locked onto my legs.
Suddenly, Dave appeared next to us and sank down into the seat next to Meg, throwing his arm across the back of her chair.
He let his head drop back against the chair as a pathetic groan resonated from the pit of his throat, eliciting a chuckle from Meg.
"What are you huffing and puffing about, boss?"
"Just a tough day," Dave breathed out exasperatedly, his eyes drifting shut.
"Aw, poor baby. It must be hard standing on the floor, shouting out directions all day long while your actors do all the work," Meg mocked him, her eyes alight with playfulness and her lips pursed into a pretend pout for her boyfriend.
"Hey, it is hard work trying to get you lot to do what I want," Dave defended himself, his eyes opening as his head lulled to the side to connect his hazel stare on Meg's.
"But you did it," she replied to him with a proud smile. "We finished blocking the entire show today!"
"That we did," he proclaimed with a nod, reaching out and grabbing Meg's hand in his own. "And I think I deserve a drink for all my hard work."
Meg scoffed as she intertwined their fingers together and rolled her eyes at him.
So this is what being a third wheel feels like.
"I think we all deserve a drink for having to put up with your grumpy self for a whole month now." Even though Meg's words were seemingly indignant, the unmistakable flicker of tender love floating in her bright brown eyes told the real story.
"True. So how bout it? We all go out for celebratory drinks after rehearsal lets out. There's no rehearsal the rest of the week due to Thanksgiving so it could be a pleasant way to send each other off until next week."
Fear gripped my mind as I watched Meg's entire posture shoot up and her face break out into a wild grin.
"That's a great idea, babe!" she pronounced excitedly. "I knew there was a reason I was dating you," she teased with a sly smile.
Dave sat up in his chair, giving Meg a playful nudge on his way up, his eyes gleaming with adoration for the raven haired woman next to him.
"Jackson! Kaleb! Wanna go get a beer?" Dave called out to both of the men who were standing on stage, going over lines I assumed.
"Don't have to ask me twice," Jackson said casually as he used one hand to jump down off of the stage and strolled towards us. His soft looking brunette hair that hung in front of his eyes bounced with his landing, his tall frame taking the impact of his landing with ease.
"We can go to the bar I work at if you want," Kaleb voiced as he pulled the same maneuver that Jackson had, jumping his way down to the floor from the stage.
"It's just around the corner and I'm sure I can get us a free round or two," Kaleb continued to tell us as he walked back to the seats that we were all sitting in.
"I'm sold. Rehearsal's over. Let's go!" Dave declared as he slapped his hands against his thighs.
"Great!" Meg stated eagerly. Then, she turned to face me, a devious look circling deep in her stare and a smirk playing at her pink lips.
"Then you and I can continue our conversation about you know who." She wriggled her eyebrows at me suggestively and tossed a wink in at the end.
Too bad I would have to demolish her excitement and her gossip plans in one fell swoop.
"I can't go."
Meg's eyes doubled in size as my words hit her ears.
"What?!"
The word was screamed so loudly, so unexpectedly that every single body in the room turned towards us. My stomach flipped painfully as my skin began to crawl with all of the attention. I wished for nothing more in that moment than to sink into the chair I was sitting in, escaping this suddenly very uncomfortable moment.
"What's wrong?" Jackson inquired, his tone light and a bit surprised at the ferocity of Meg's outburst.
"Leah says she can't go!"
"Why not?" Jackson's thick brows dipped in question as he stared to me, waiting patiently for my answer.
I began to squirm in my seat as I realized that not only Jackson and Meg were staring at me, but Kaleb and Dave as well.
"It's not really that I can't, just more so... um, that I don't drink so... it would be pointless for me go." I replied with a bit of uncertainly audible to even my own ears as my fingers pulled at my bottom lip nervously.
"You can still go! You don't have to drink, just come along for the fun of it!" Meg countered, her eyes persistent on mine.
"Uh, no thanks," I replied, shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders.
Please just drop it.
"Do you have somewhere to be soon?" My eyes flew back to Jackson's curious ones as he voiced the question.
Actually, I didn't. Zach had a meeting tonight that would go later than usual and he told me this morning before heading off to work that he wouldn't be home until 10 pm or so.
"Not really," I muttered unwillingly under my breath.
"So, then what reason do you have not to go? I think we could all have some real fun together," Jackson said with a hint of mirth mixed in his tone and shining in his large, brown eyes.
The look he was giving me now was far too intimate for my liking and spiked a thread of anxiety within me.
"Do it for my birthday!" Meg suddenly exclaimed next to me in an overly eager voice.
Oh no.
"Please? You can't say no if it's for my birthday!" Meg stated matter of factually.
My head rose with little motivation as I set my hesitant eyes on her gleeful ones. My lips parted, preparing to combat her statement, but ended up closing soon after, unable to find a suitable answer. My eyebrows strung together as my eyes flooded with defeat.
A whimper slipped past my lips as I detached my gaze from her overwhelming one and ran a shaking hand across the back of my neck.
I can't back out now, can I?
"Come on," an all too familiar, smooth voice spoke out, earning my eyes to be swept in his direction.
"Have a little fun, Peaches." That was the first thing he had spoken to me all day long. And as our eyes stayed glued to one another's, something undecipherable swirling behind Kaleb's bright blue irises, I knew I was done for.
"Okay."
A cheer erupted around me, the loudest applause by far coming from the petite woman sitting next to me.
And that was it.
Within the next ten minutes, we were all gathering our personal items and heading for the exit.
With my purse firmly secured around my shoulder, I walked with the other four members of our group, lagging behind some to try and calm my relentless nerves that were thrashing around in the pit of my stomach.
I was so wrapped up in my own personal mantra, telling myself that I would leave as soon as I saw an acceptable out, I didn't hear when Meg popped up next to me.
"It will be fun, I promise!"
My shoulders jumped and a startled gasp pushed past my lips, awarding quite the laugh from Meg as she playfully nudged my shoulder.
"Come on, what's the worst that can happen?"
If only I knew.
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