Donnie lay awake in his bed in despair, staring at nothing but the blank ceiling ahead of him...

He couldn't erase this from his memory... no matter how hard he tried not to think about it, it popped up out of nowhere.

He just couldn't.

How was he going to tell his family about a shitty thing like this!?...

Why didn't he say anything in the living room?!

...Could he?...

Well what is he supposed to say? What would they think of him?

Donnie's breaths became heavier and heaveir with every thought, he felt so disgusted with himself... he was so angry for not doing anything to stop him!... how could he?!... He was so numbed to the point where reality didn't even seem to exist! he felt himself gripping the bedsheets in disappointment... feeling the fabric crinkled up in his palm. almost sweat performing in his hand. Sitting up he uncovered himself from under the blanket and covers, standing up he made his way to his dresser... the pain was slowed to where it was just a slight tingle sensation. making eye contact with his own reflection.

he hated himself for not screaming.

he hated himself for not telling anyone SOONER!

most of all. he hated MEATSWEATS FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIM!!!

Anger crept onto Donnie's face as his squeezed fist made a hard impact into the mirror, a huge cracking noise escaping under his fist as well as shattered cracks stretching across the reflection, glass shards feeling everywhere. some peices wounded on the dresser top

Donnie flinched, pulling his fist back with it loosening introducing the cuts on his hands slowly leaking with crimson colored fluids, surrounding his knuckels and fingers, blood leaking out a few others turning a deeper shade of the sweet red, overall it hurt really bad.

but he was still angry.

Without any hesitation, Donnie's arms flew to the sides of the dresser, and swiping them across the top, knocking everything off of it, papers, pencils, all of it flew in the air making hard contact with the ground, then Donnie was still flaming in a temper. Donnie found himself punching the dresser wiht the most utmost force, it hurt but he didnt care about the pain for he just continued ripping off the broken mirrors frame and throwing it across the room. he growled and let out quiet roars of pure anger. he looked next where the wooden frame landed and then grabbed his chair, flinging it at the dresser, and continued beating the wooden item as it fell to the ground, breaking more on impact. The painful sounds of the impact from the chair and wood filled the room along with wood splitting apart

only when the dresser was on the floor, broken, and in small pieces did he stop and drop the slightly damaged chair on the ground as he flew back on the wall sweat breaking out, taking deep breaths... doing that took so much energy out of him. glass shards and wood pieces surrounded him and the room. a lot has pierced him leaving him to bleed from small cuts all over his body... he didn't care at all...it wasn't as painful as the moment that happened with meatsweats.

Donnie closed his eyes, his breaths slowly became a tad bit lighter

would that painful moment still have happened if he were still close to his brothers?...

would they have heard him if he had screamed?...

if he had just told his brothers.

"Donnie!? holy shit!"

Donnie snapped his eyes open and looked over to his twin brother cautiously run over towards him, he was really carful to try and not step over any of the residue of wood and glass that lay carelessly on the floor. When Leo managed to get as close as he could to his twin brother, he swiftly brushed away some of the wood that was in front of Donnie to make room for a seat next to him. he got down on one knee and placed a hand over to donnies shoulder "Donnie?, are you okay?" Leo was concerned while asking

'yeah... I'm totally okay... just smashed my dresser into little tiny bits with a chair, but yeah im definitely okay' Donnie thought to himself

But it was obvious that Leo already knew the answer

"...Donnie please answer me." the 'please' had a sound of almost complete despair

the purple clad turtle opened his mouth to talk,

"im.... fine"

The words almost made Leo jump... he took another quick glance at Donatello's room status

This.. didn't look fine...

But of course Leo knew better than to keep bugging his twin bro. Besides... this could just be a donnie thing... right?

"if you say so Don, MIkeys... making you some din-" Leo was cut off with a cold and achey voice

"I'm not hungry.."

The words were straight forward.. almost a bit reassuring to Leo... Donnie is the type to turn down food when offered.. but thats only when he's busy doing some work

"Alright then... bye i guess.." Leo stood up, and once again made his way around the mess of wood and glass shards... Leo looked at his twim brother one last time before dissapearing under the tarp and the light from outside fleeing in and escaping.

~~~~~~~

"Where's Donnie?" Raph said getting up from his seating and made his way to the blue masked turtle.

"He said he's not hungry" Leo said gesturing a hand towards donnie's room direction, The oldest turtle looked over and made eye contact with the purple tarp hanging over the entrance and then looked back at the second twin

"Is he okay, in there?" Raphael asked, his voice showed traces of worry. Leo fiddled with his own fingers before adding on "To be honest... I'm not that sure... he's not necessarily getting along with his dresser" Leo let out a short and airy 'heh' at the eng trying to make it lightly, "what do you mean Leo?" Raph was getting a little annoyed, He shifted his feet a little bit

By the way Leo was acting told raph to be ready and run to his little brothers room, in case he was injured or hurt and anyway

"Well.. when i went in there, he was surrounded with broken wood and glass and his chair was lying on the ground his dresser, was completely smashed up and his papers were all over the ground... not to mention he had tons of cuts and splinters all over his hands."

"Jeez" Mikey commented, obviously worried right next to Raph who just stared at Leo in awe

"What?... don't believe me?, go see for yourself!" The red eared slider moved out of the way with a step to the left while moving his hands to gesture them towards his twins room

Raph followed the command and sprinted down to his younger siblings room, he knocked on the wall besides the curtain "Donnie?... you alright lil' bro?...... can i come in?"

no answer

Raph took more worry and slowly opened the curtain to see what had been going on, Leo was right, his explanation was correct but it was a little worse than he thought it would be. Donnie was sitting on the floor surrounded by dangerous sharp objects. just how leo described you could already see the cuts on his hands from far away

"Donnie?! what happened here?!" Raph said whilst rushing to his younger brother, Completely ignoring the wood and glass on the floor, stepping over it not even acknowledging the fact he could get hurt

"I smashed my dresser."

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thanks to all of you who are reading! I never thought I had anyone read my stories! and if it takes longer than three days, I'm so sorry i'm just having a slightly busy life with school! if it takes longer then im probably dead XD