Lately you've been so mean

And I don't know what to do

You're nice over text but when we face each other it's like there's something wrong

I dont know how to ask you

what's going on

because I'm afraid you'll start to yell and scream at me even though I was only concerned about your well-being

I know it's hard what ever your going through but it's hard for me too

All I wanted to do was maybe help you.

At times I'm mad and upset with you and at others I love you

I never really see you and I'm okay with that I really am

Though when you come back it's like ww2 again

Not all the time but recently you've been this way to all of us.

It's tiring.

So are all those promises you say you'd keep yet here I am getting my hope's up once again

It's like I'm stuck in this rut that I dont know how to get out of

I wanna keep giving you these chances but

I dont wanna get broken all over again because of something you might say or some stupid mistake that gets made

If you couldn't keep it then why let me get my hopes up in the first place?

I know I'm almost 17 and shouldn't be falling for your filthy schemes anymore

but I want to keep giving you more tries until your last life dies

because I believed in you

And still do

Though

It's like you cant see me anymore.

Almost as if I was never here.

Who let you near

This place I hide, I keep quiet because what else Is there to do?

Sleep all day until noon?

I haven't given up

Not yet

More so just lost my motivation to keep me alive

To get me up and moving out of this bed that I insist on sleeping in

but that's okay

once the next morning breaks I can start all over again

To finally have the motivation to get me up outta bed.

To be productive again.

But...

Even then

on the days I've barely done a thing.

I'm still proud

because I've done something

even if it was small to others

That's a huge step to me.

So, that at least makes me happy.

You should be proud of yourself for these little things you've done

You've come so far along

I'm proud of you.

Truly I am.