Chapter 21

~Laken’s POV~

Was I being cruel?

Did I do something wrong when I used the mind I have to make this decision?

Is it so wrong to want to experience something for myself?

Let’s get one thing straight here. I love and respect Carson, finding out that he’s my mate made me happier than I thought possible. I know I’m lucky I certainly don’t need anyone to spell it out for me but can you blame me for being insulted every time he ordered me around?

We’re lovers, friends, mates why am I still being ordered to do this and do that after everything we’ve been through? I’m torn up about disobeying him but I refuse to live my life based on what others force me to do, I want to make my own mistakes, enjoy my own experiences and make my own decisions.

It was these thoughts that pretty much followed me around all day. We’d gotten to the hotel about three hours before and since the workshop wouldn’t be until tomorrow Lucas had said that we could do our shopping today so we were at the mall and we were all expected to meet back at 6pm for dinner.

“You’ve been sulking ever since you got off the phone, what’s up with you?

I looked over at Lyla who had paused in her sifting through dresses on the clothes rack and was now looking at me with concern.

“I feel kinda guilty for what I did, I’ve disobeyed him so often.” I mumbled dropping my head on her shoulder.

“You realize the word you just used? Disobeyed… he’s supposed to be your mate not your ruler and the only way listening to his ‘orders’ is gonna be fair to you is if he listens to yours too.” She said patting my head gently.

“Take Lucas for instance, you don’t see him ordering you around, you could probably be free as a bird with him, it looks to me like he’s the type of person to drop everything to do what you want, letting a guy that in love get away isn’t wise.” She said seriously.

I still wasn’t really sure when she’d gone from being obsessed with me and Carson as a couple to being crazy about me and Lucas as a couple.

“Carson’s coming here.” I announced, straightening up from my uncomfortable position.

“What?! When?”

“I don’t know he just said he’ll get here soon, could be today or maybe tomorrow who knows.”

“Why though?”

“Because he has a ‘bad feeling’ about this trip, I’m just worried about what he’ll do when he finds out about the sleeping arrangements, I’m thinking he’ll either beat me to a pulp or tear Lucas’ head off…or both.” I chuckled half believing what I was saying.

“Okay well he’s not here yet and the sleeping arrangements had nothing to do with you so let’s just enjoy the shopping while we can ok…omg just look at that jacket!” she squealed then tore through the aisle to get to it.

“This is like the cutest thing ever!” she enthused hugging it to her chest.

I had to admit it really was cute. My eye caught the price tag and my eyes widened.

“Lyla the thing cost a fortune!”

“I know and isn’t it worth every penny? I looove Canada!”

I shook my head, well when your mom was a doctor and your father was a lawyer getting expensive stuff certainly wouldn’t be a big deal.

………………….

Here I was once again playing around with the package. I’d decided not to let Lyla open it because depending on its contents she’d use it as ammunition against Carson in arguments for Lucas. At the moment I lay on my side of the bed playing catch with it, throwing it directly above my face and catching it just in time to save myself from a serious face injury.

I looked toward the bathroom when I heard Lucas exit. He was naked save for a towel wrapped around his waist and I blushed at what I saw, not that he looked much different from Carson, they were both tan with defined abs and all that other sexy stuff except for maybe the scar that ran from Lucas’ chest to just above his navel.

“Where’d you get the scar?” I asked, figuring it wasn’t polite but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t mind.

“Vicious fight.” He said with a grin. That got me intrigued now.

“And?” I said trying to show him how important it was for him to continue. I love stories and drama, hence the reason Lyla was my best friend.

He chuckled; “There’s really nothing much to tell, I was a bit of a…bad boy back in the day, got myself into more problems than I can count and one got out of hand.”

“Back in the day? Dude you’re like...twenty –two.” I said.

He smiled one of those smiles that told you he wasn’t telling you everything.

“What? You ARE twenty-two right?” there’s no way he could be a day older.

“Well technically I am but shapeshifters age a bit differently.”

“So you’re immortal?!”

“No we just age slowly but we’ll all die someday.” He said then bent down to take out a pair of shorts from his bag. When he got up I turned away to give him privacy while he dressed and in no time he was getting on the bed. I could feel his body heat between the sheets and I shifted uncomfortably.

“Thought you opened it already.”

I looked at him, he was laying on his back his hands behind his head and his chest still bare. Then I looked down at the package I’d almost forgotten was in my hand.

“Oh no I was wondering if I should.” I answered honestly.

“Why wouldn’t you…never mind you don’t have to tell me…Carson right?”

“It’s not like he told me not to open it it’s just that maybe I shouldn’t be accepting things from other guys.” I got out then looked up at him willing him to tell me what was the right thing to do here.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with accepting a little gift from somebody.” He said and after a moment’s pause I nodded. He was right, it was just a gift right?

Taking the folds between my thumb and forefinger I pulled off the wrapping paper and put it aside. I hated ripping apart gift wrappings, go figure. The box was weird, it looked like something from another era maybe, it was small and wooden, with a crest type deal engraved into every inch of it. I looked at Lucas again and he smiled, then turned back to the package and removed the lid.

It was a pocket watch, or at least that’s what it looked like. It was silver and on the lid housed the same crest as on the box. I turned it around inspecting it, it was circular and a bit weighty. I pushed down the button at the top and the lid flew open.

Yup a pocket watch, only it was probably the most expensive one I’d ever held and the design on it reminded me of something you’d see in a history book. It was beautiful and it felt fragile. I loved it! I smiled up at him.

“It’s been in my family for generations.” He said simply.

That statement alone wiped the grin from my face; “I can’t accept this…generations? You can’t give away something that’s been in your family for generation to some random stranger!” I exclaimed holding out the watch to him.

He simply stared at it for a second then looked at me, his eyes had gone serious.

“I know you don’t take me seriously whenever I tell you how I feel. I’m not obsessed with you, neither am I crazy. I never thought I’d ever find myself in this situation but…the moment I laid eyes on you I was entranced. I can’t help how I feel Laken and I don’t think of this as some game. My heart’s in this, I’ve lived for long enough to know that what I’m feeling is real. Whether or not you choose me, I’ll still feel the same way so it would mean a lot if you kept it.”

I swallowed hard. He was really serious, I could see it in his eyes, Lucas was in love with me, like in love in love. Oh shit!

“I-Lucas I-“

“I know, but don’t worry one of these days you’ll repeat those words to me, I know you will and I’ll be the happiest man alive.”

I couldn’t even form a coherent thought, I just gathered the gift wrapping and the pocket watch and distributed them on the table beside me. I hated hurting people and it hurt to think that he was just wasting his time loving me when I wouldn’t be returning it.

I looked up at him apprehensively; I had to set this right once and for all.

“Lucas-“

I couldn’t go on, he had sat up on the bed, his large frame turned to me and his eyes on me, like he was seeing beyond what was actually there, like he wasn’t just seeing me but within me. I was so enraptured by his gaze that I didn’t even move when he came closer and closer still until I could feel his breath against my lips. I should turn away, I should-

All thoughts flew from my mind when I felt his soft probing lips on my own. My eyes drifted closed and basked in the heat of our lips pressing together. It was when he put his hand on my neck that I felt the heat erupt inside me. Just like that I was turned on, not beyond my wildest dreams but certainly beyond what I’d been feeling moments before.

He deepened the kiss sliding his free hand down my arm and I shivered in response. His lips moved down to my neck and I moaned as he sucked gently on the spot at the base of my ear, my toes curled under and I felt myself harden even more. it felt so good.

Good until I realized he was giving me a hickey! I pushed him off me and in a second flat I was across the room and pressed up against the door my breathing ragged. Then I put my hand to my neck which was damp and hot to the touch. He was still sitting on the bed, his knees drawn up and his hands resting on them.

He was watching me with those same intense lustful eyes, I pushed off from the door and made my way to the bathroom without saying a word to him. I locked the door before going over to the sink and turning on the tap putting my head under the water, when I came up it was to the realization that I was crying.

What the fuck was that? I’d let him kiss me, maybe would have let him do more if I hadn’t come to my senses in time!

How could I do this to Carson? I slapped my hand to my lips trying to prevent a sob from escaping. I was weak, giving in to the demands of my traitorous body. I was nothing but a cheater. Carson shouldn’t be worried about what Lucas would do he should worry about me!

I never thought I’d see the day when I kissed someone who wasn’t Carson, when I was attracted to someone who wasn’t Carson.

Carson, who was probably flying out here planning to come resue me from the dangers of life while I was sucking face with the devil himself. I looked at myself in the mirror, eyes red, lips trembling, then I looked away disgusted. He was going to hate me when he found out what I’d almost done.

He was gonna hate me and I deserved it because I was nothing more than a little cheat, I’d almost cheated on my mate! Not for the first time I wished my eighteenth birthday could come so I could feel the stronger bond, so that I would be bound by him in such a way that I couldn’t feel anything for anybody ever again.

He was going to hate me when he found out, and he would find out because I was going to tell him. I was done with lies and secrets; this opened my eyes to my own imperfections. Why would Carson even want someone like me by his side?

My heart grew heavy at the thought of what I’d done, kissing might not be a big deal to anyone but it was to me. I was weak, I was a disgrace and it was with these thoughts in mind that had me sobbing my heart out at three o’clock in the morning with Lucas on the other side of the door trying to soothe me with words I didn’t want to hear.

………………………

When next I woke I was on his side of the bed. My hand was lying at a weird angle underneath me and I shifted onto my side, flexing my arm to ease the discomfort.

“Yes sir I understand but if you would just listen to me-“

My ears perked up at the sound of Lucas’s voice. He was in the bathroom and it sounded like he was on the phone. He sounded somewhat distressed about something and I cocked my ear to the side trying to hear better.

“No you don’t need to remind me why I’m here, it’s just that he’s-“

I shifted closer to the edge of the bed listening intently.

“Yes yes I understand, yes sir but…please sir he doesn’t deserve this, not this one-“

He trailed off again and I had to wonder who he was talking to.

“Of course I’m not getting attached, if you met him you’d understand what I meant, He doesn’t have to know just let me take him someplace s-“

Another pause.

“Yes sir.”

I listened as Lucas trailed off, this time sounding a bit dejected and yet again I had to wonder who he was talking to and what the conversation had been about.

Maybe the principal? I did’nt know.

When I heard the turning of the door knob I eased back onto the bed and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep.

He padded into the room and I heard when he placed something on the coffee table then sighed, much like before when the call had ended. I tried not to move and to keep my breathing even when I felt his presence beside me. I felt his fingers moving through my hair gently. He then pushed back the hair that had fallen onto my forehead before shaking me ‘awake’.

“Laken, wake up.” He shook me gently and I pretended I was just waking up, going through the dramatics of yawning and stretching, even blinking up at him blurry eyed.

“Come on get dressed, we gotta go.” He said, his voice was devoid of emotion but for some reason his eyes looked…sad.

“You ok?” I asked in concern.

“Yeah, get up we don’t have much time.” He said again.

My brows furrowed. “I thought the workshop wasn’t until two.”

“We’re not going to the workshop.” He said softly.

“Okay, where’re we going then?” I enquired, confused.

He paused for a few seconds as if thinking about what to say then;

“We’re going to meet Carson.” Was all he said before turning away to go tend to his bag.

I shot up. “Carson’s here?” I asked my eyes wide.

“He will be.” Lucas gritted out and I finally understood his mood, he was probably pissed that Carson was coming for me.

I was a bit disappointed about the workshop but then I figured I could probably persuade Carson to let us stay for a few more days. This trip would be perfect with him here!

I got out of bed and sauntered into the bathroom and it was then that I remembered last night and the kiss. My heart plummeted. We certainly wouldn’t be staying here a few more days when I told Carson what I did. I wondered how he’d take the news.

Would he try to hurt Lucas? Would he just be pissed at me? Would he give me the silent treatment? I shook my head at the thoughts that whirled around inside.

Guess I’d find out, I thought becoming depressed.

……………………………

“Where exactly is he anyway?” I asked.

We were sitting in Lucas’s rented car, we’d been driving for almost an hour and I was getting a little restless.

“He’s not here yet, they’re supposed to take him to-“ he broke off and his eyes flashed to me briefly before it went back to the road ahead.

My eyes narrowed.

“What do you mean they? What’s going on Lucas?” I asked, suddenly on edge about this whole situation.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS CHAPTER WAS SO HARD TO WRITE UGH..HATE HOW IT CAME OUT BUT I AINT REWRITING IT SO....

HERE IT IS...OH YEAH AND I KNOW MOST OF YOU WRITE STORIES SO IF YOU WANT ME TO READ IT JUST LEMME KNOW ON MY MESSAGE BOARD OR DEDICATE A CHAPTER TO ME SO I WON'T FORGET..I'M USING ALL THE FREE TIME I HAVE TO FINALLY CATCH UP ON SOME WATTPAD READING...CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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-DoUbLe.A

-unedited.