I didn't know a house could feel this empty until I realize how much the absence of a person living in it makes the difference. Undoubtedly it's fucking difficult for me to deny the fact that I miss Christopher so freaking much! Just three days have passed since he left for Paris and it is already giving me a feeling of surviving an eternity. I don't know why the hell days are getting longer with each passing time?

To be honest, I talked to him over the phone these 3 days, but that still doesn't feel enough for me. I wish he was here with me. I don't know where exactly he is and when he is going to come, but I hope he gets back soon. Because I am starting to feel absolutely miserable without him. Wait! What is wrong with me? I haven't felt like this for anyone before. Then what the hell is happening? Nicole, you've got some serious issues to deal with. Oh no! Oh fucking no! The alarm in my brain suddenly ticks with the same dreadful thought, making my heart hammer frantically. I repeat the question for the hundredth time in my head. Am I falling in love with Christopher?

Then all of a sudden Christopher's face with the words he said to me flashes in front of my eyes. Of all the fucking time in the universe he just has to decide to confess his love to me when I least expected it from him. Great! It still feels surreal to believe that I heard it from him. I know the reaction that I gave him would have made me look like an idiot in front of him. I regret it now.

I should have been happy to discover such a thing from him, but I don't why I couldn't. Any woman would have jumped in joy listening to her man confess his love for her, but sadly I wasn't that any. And it has nothing to do with Christopher but to do all with the awful impression settled in my head. I have lost my faith in love long ago and it scares me to death just to think about falling into its trap now.

And all the credit goes to my dad and his not-so-good deeds. Because of what he did to us, it left a long-lasting terrible effect in the back of my head. As much as I try to forget, I always find myself failing to do it. Every time I hear the word love, the image of my mother falling onto the feet of my father instantly comes to mind, making my blood boil with anger, and I start questioning myself. Is it what love looks like? Does love make you fall onto the feet of someone and urge them to stay while they are willing to let go of your hand? Do we call it true love? Did my father really love my mother? I don't know about the rest, but I know the answer to the last question. No, he didn't. Because if he really did, then he wouldn't have let my mother beg him to come back to her. If he had loved her, he wouldn't have left her and his family in the first place.

I sigh and try to avoid clouding my mind with my dad's thoughts. I realize a good thing that has happened in the absence of Christopher is that I managed to get more time to spend at my clinic and with my friends. Lately, I was staying so wrapped up with Christopher that I almost didn't get to see any of my friends. So when I had it in my hands, I did utilize the time well. In my recent interaction with them, I got to know that Sam and Emily have started dating. Yeah, I know that sounds fucking crazy! At first, I was shocked too to learn this new piece of information. I was not expecting something like that.

However, later I was not able to contain my happiness because they really appeared to be made for each other. They are like those annoying school kids who look cute but also have a crappy sense of humor. But I must say they are perfect for each other in all senses.

Apparently, when I later met Sam, he didn't look happy, not because I got to know about his and Emily's relationship but because Emily blurted out about me and Christopher while having a conversation with him some time ago. That was a terrible mistake by her, I must say. Sam straight away scolded me for getting myself into this kind of mess when I went to his cafe. He was pissed that I lied to him. I know he is my friend, and he always finds ways to worry about my safety, but I am an adult too and I know very well what I am getting into. So, it didn't take me long to convince him that I am aware of what I am doing and to make him believe that Christopher is a trustworthy guy. However, he wasn't totally convinced by my explanation, but at least he looked better than he was before. I know it wouldn't be easy for him to be okay with everything suddenly because he and Christopher never really got along well. That's not a big issue, though.

Two days ago, I also met Becky. Like always, she had something to complain about. Either it would be her crazy boyfriend or some expensive lingerie that she bought for no use or a new annoying colleague at work. While talking, I randomly threw a question at her about Peter. Just out of curiosity to know how he was doing. She informed me that she gets to see him sometimes when she visits the main office. But something that she pointed in specific is that Peter doesn't seem to have the glow on his face which was clearly evident to the people working there before.

My heart sank listening to that and a part of me felt guilty assuming that I might be the reason behind it. I am not sure though. It could be work stress too. After all, he is the owner of a billion-dollar company. I haven't seen Peter since the last time I met him in his office. That was an awful day when he tried to kiss me. After that, he never called me and I am glad about it. It's better to keep the distance. I hope it gives him time to forget everything and move on.

I lean against the couch with Frosty over my lap. Frosty, the little white puppy that we found. Yeah, I and Max named him that because of his fur color. I smile as I think about Christopher's expression whenever he sees Frosty. I guess he is not so comfortable around having pets, but that's not a problem, I could definitely make him change his mind.

Unlike Christopher, Max is pretty good at keeping Frosty engaged. He is a cool guy. I've known from the start that he was Christopher's close friend, but I never got to know him. Now when Christopher has appointed him to monitor the house while he is away, I am trying to get along with him. He is an easy-going guy and someone who is fun to be around. Surprisingly, he seems to be younger than Christopher. I didn't notice that before, but I guess he would be around my age.

It is known to me that I couldn't be too friendly with him because he works for Christopher and he would surely not appreciate it. Max understands that rule well, and that's why he keeps a limit to visiting the house once a day and taking care of security at night. He gave me his number for that purpose so I can contact him when I am in need of something.

It's Saturday evening when I came back from the clinic and had thought of relaxing on the couch. Appearing a bit dazed, I open my eyes when I suddenly hear the doorbell. I frown, wondering who it could be. Maybe it's Max. Dropping Frosty to the side, I walk to get it. When I pull the door open, I am completely caught off guard to see the man standing in front of me. How the hell he magically appeared in front of me just when I am trying to forget about him?

"Dad?" I almost choke, not believing my eyes that my father is standing in front of me. When did he get to LA and what the hell is he doing here?

"Nicole...How are you, my kid?" He asks with his soft eyes gazing at me. I look at him and see he is wearing a black-sleeved shirt with a pair of jeans. It strikes me suddenly that I am seeing his face after a really long time. My dad is a tall man with a nicely built body, working as an officer in San Diego Police Department. His work demands him to always keep fit. Apart from his head covered with grey hair, none of his other features tend to scream his agedness. There was a time when I found pride in knowing that I inherited some of his traits, but that's not the case anymore. I hate it now that I share a resemblance to my father.

"What are you doing here?" I spit out with irritation.

The smile from his face drops as soon as he hears my question. "I went to Becky's. She told me that you no longer live with her. So I came here." He peeks into the house behind me and asks. "Whose house is this? Why are you living here?"

I cough in bewilderment by his sudden inquiry. Shit! I can't let him know about Christopher. It could risk his life. "That's none of your business." I snap at him trying to shut the door but before I could do it he places his palm and pushes it, letting himself in. Hell! What the fuck I should do now?

"You are my daughter, Nicole. Everything that concerns you is my business. I care about you." He says.

"You care about me? I don't buy that bullshit anymore, dad." I let out a dry chuckle, looking away from him. "If you would have cared, you would have never done what you did," I state in a low tone, assuming that he wouldn't be able to hear.

But I turn in surprise when he actually responds to my statement. "How long would it take for you to forgive me?" The faint wrinkles at the corner of his eyes grow prominent as he asks me in a sad tone.

He sighs. "I regret doing it, Nicole. I had apologized to you. I don't know..." He pauses and glances at me to see my reaction but I avert my vision from him trying to avoid his gaze. "It really hurts me now. It kills me to see the hate in your eyes for me, Nicole." He takes a step towards me and says. "I want us to be the way when you were a little kid. I want us to be a happy family again."

"I wished the same. But you ruined it for us. You ruined it all when you left us to build your own little world with another woman." I glare at him with fiery anger brimming in my tone.

"But I realized my mistake. That's why I came back." He tries to defend. I look back at him and laugh sarcastically, realizing how lame his justification sounded. We had this discussion a thousand times, and he still doesn't accept the fact that he came back only because my mother urged him to.

Taking in my impertinent expression, he shakes his head in disappointment. "What would it take for you to grant me an apology? I am ready to do anything to earn your forgiveness."

He cringes in pain when I don't answer him. A weird silence stays between us as he stares at me. I know it's hurting him now because when he continues to speak, his voice turns hoarse. "You haven't been to the house for the last 8 months. You never pick my calls, neither do you call us."

"I talk with Charlotte over the phone," I reply to him, crossing my arms over my chest.

His eyes scan my face, and he lets out a labored breath. "I miss you. Your mother misses you." I close my eyes, trying to keep my emotions together when he refers to mom. "Come back home." He says slowly. I look back at him. I hate that how he is trying to make me feel guilty for starting my professional life away from home. But how is it my fault when he is the one who started all this mess? What was I supposed to do when I felt suffocated by the presence of my father in my own house?

After a minute, he suddenly turns his head and starts scanning the house around. "Why did you move in here? Who's the owner? Do you live here alone?" He launches questions at me as if he is carrying out some investigation procedure.

I growl in annoyance and step in his way, prohibiting him from going any further. "Dad, please...I want you to leave." I say sternly.

He looks into my eyes and suddenly his face seems to grow concerned. "Nicole, is everything alright?"

I shift my eyes to the other side, being a little baffled when he asks. "You don't look well. Are you in some kind of danger?" His eyes waver over my face worriedly. "It doesn't feel right here." I scoff at his ridiculous statement. Are all the cops this paranoid or is it just my father?

"Stop it, dad! Can't you see it? You are the real trouble for me." I bark furiously, looking into his eyes. "Everything was going fine in my life until you decided to show up out of nowhere."

I exhale in frustration and say. "I would be okay as long as you stay away from me." I shake my head and look back at him. "Just go."

"Nicole..."

"Please..." I groan.

He tries to hide the pain that my words have caused him as he puts on a happy face. "I am your father, Nicole. You can come to me whenever you are in need of any help. You know that, right?"

"I pray to God that I wouldn't have to see the day when I need to seek help from you." I spit hatefully at him.

His face crumples a bit, but he again regains his composure. I can see his eyes getting teary and I can't help but look away. I hate doing this. "It's fine. You are my little baby and you always will be." He sniffs and gives me a sad smile. "I would still say you can come to me whenever you feel the need to. I am always there for you, kid."

I look at him and for a moment all the good memories of my childhood shine in front of me, but then again I brush it away and force myself to be the Nicole I am today. "Now, leave." I order.

With that, he leaves the house, giving me a last glance. As I am watching him, I see Max walking towards the house. He looks at him in confusion and for a second it appears like he got lost deep in his thoughts. I frown and snap my finger in front of his face to get his attention when he doesn't blink. He looks perturbed as he turns towards me and arches an eyebrow as if he is asking me who that man was.

"That was my dad," I say, walking back into the house.

------------------------

The purpose for which I was here was resolved yesterday. Our men in Paris had a disagreement in negotiating with the Italians for heroin transactions. But with my arrival, the matter was settled peacefully. We gain a great share of finance by doing business with the Sicilian mob industry, therefore we can't afford to be on their list of enemies. I am glad it's done now.

I have my flight back to LA in an hour. And I can't be more than happy to go back to Nicole. In the past three days, I missed her terribly. Even phone calls don't seem enough. It's really hard for me to fathom that I could go on even a day without looking at her face. I guess I am really in love.

Right now I am sitting in the bar down at my hotel, marveling at the beauty of the city outside known for love. And the monument that personifies the essence of love is standing tall in front of me. It's the Eiffel Tower. Its shining silhouette floats over the city landscape with the night hovering in the background. With my eyes, I capture the scenic delicacy in front of me one last time before the lights turn off.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes, and Nicole's face appears in front of me. I wish she was here with me. I shake my head and smile, thinking how silly I have become. Christopher, you are seriously whipped. I tell that to myself and reach for my pocket to get the Polaroid picture of Nicole. I remember clicking it when she was in Martha's kitchen. She looked so beautiful and carefree talking to her, that I can't help myself from capturing the perfect candid. I usually refrain from visiting Martha's house often because I know it can be dangerous for Millie if anybody gets to know about her. But I really want to take Nicole to meet them again because it looked like she truly enjoyed spending time there.

I take a sip of my drink and look out of the window.

"Hola Christopher, es bueno verte otra vez!" I hear someone say that to me as I am still thinking about Nicole. [Hello Christopher, It's good to see you again!]

I turn my head and notice a muscular man standing near my table. His face doesn't seem familiar to me, but he looks around my age or maybe a couple of years older. He has shiny black hair with a short beard going well with his face. "I am sorry. I didn't recognize you." I smile at the man apologetically.

"What a shame." He says in a weird Spanish accent. "I am Fernando. Remember, we met when you were in Cantabria for a deal three years ago."

It strikes me instantly that he is talking about the deal that I had in Spain just before my accident. As much as I try to recollect the happenings of that time, I am bestowed with nothing but disappointment. However, I remember Richard referring to Fernando's name after I recovered. He gave me a brief description of what deal we had and with whom we had it. "Oh Fernando, I am sorry...." I don't know if I should tell him this or not but right now I don't even have another answer to give him so I try to stick to the truth. "I couldn't remember because I met with an accident soon after the deal. I am sure you would have heard about it?" He first gives me a weird look and I doubt if I said something offensive.

"Oh god! I didn't know." He says after a moment in shock.

"I was in a coma for four months after that. I suffered from retrograde amnesia. In simple words, I had permanent memory loss.." I sigh. I know this is a bit personal, but I need to tell him something substantial to make him believe why I don't remember a single thing. I don't care if he'd judge or not. My life has been a wreck always.

"That's terrible. How are you now?" His eyes grow big with concern as he asks.

"I am fine, pretty much back in business." I shrug and say. "I was here for one."

"Ahhh...that's the spirit." He says smiling and I laugh.

"I've heard from Richard that we had a great contract on gun supplies with you."

He frowns, creasing his eyebrows. "Did Richard say that?" He asks and I nod. "I don't know why he said that. The only complaint I ever had with you was we couldn't get a chance to close the deal. You left before it." He looks at me and says in an accusing tone.

"What do you mean?" I question him, looking a bit stunned.

"Yes, I remember we had two meetings prior to the agreement. But on the day of the final deal, our boss got a call from Richard saying we have to call off the deal because you left for the states urgently. To be honest, I was a bit disappointed." He shrugs. "But I didn't know you went through all this."

I keep looking at his face, but my mind goes back to the day when Richard told me everything. He said my car fell off the cliff while I was returning from the deal I had with a man called Fernando. But here Fernando is saying that I never had the deal with him. Then why did Richard lie? What exactly did happen in Cantabria that day? How did my car fell off the cliff? How did I get into that terrible accident? My throat suddenly gets dry thinking about all the awful questions creeping into my mind with listening to Fernando.

"You don't remember this, do you?" He glances at me worriedly, bringing me back to the reality standing in front of me.

I don't know what to say, so I just shake my head. This is surely a hard pill to swallow.

Fernando then looks at his watch and says. "I am sorry. I have a client waiting for me. Hope I could have a proper meeting with you some other time." He shakes my hand. "Buenas noches." Saying so, he leaves. [Goodnight.]