the day after their so-called-date, jennie had been distancing herself from lisa. she wouldn't usually cling onto her every chance that she gets, instead she sits on the other couch while they watch movies, barely talking. when lisa talks to her, she would give the blonde short answers that she have grown to hate. they do not eat ice cream together nor have their usual hangout in her class. she is full of excuses. and lisa's getting sick of it.

"ugh! what did i even do?" lisa asks chaeyoung as she ran her hands on her blonde hair furiously. she is currently in chaeyoug's bedroom, having a sleepover since she couldn't even "talk" or "interact" with jennie.

"she'd flinch at my touch and distance herself from me. she wasn't like that before!" lisa exclaimed.

"things change lisa. you have to accept that." chaeyoung said, while eating her chips (she doesn't really care about them). lisa rolls her eyes, annoyed at chaeyoung's simple answer. "well i would but, i don't even know what is the reason!" she exclaimed again.

"chill gurl," chaeyoung said calmly. it's like she doesn't even care nor get affected by lisa's outburst. "don't be such a kid." she mocked.

lisa pouts and cups her face as chaeyoung fed her chips. "fine," chaeyoung huffs, "what should we do?"

"i should be the one asking you that," lisa huffs back. "girls are so complicated." lisa scoffed. chaeyoung laughs, barely audible and gives lisa a grin. "you love being gay though don't you?" she mocked jokingly. lisa glared and chaeyoung just shrugged.

chaeyoung hummed showing that she is thinking, caressing her imaginary beard. "talk to her?" chaeyoung suggested. lisa gave her a you-know-she-doesn't-want-to-talk-to-me look. chaeyoung nodded, "corner her. then ask her why she's ignoring you." then she gave a huge grin and thumbs up.

"should i invite her for ice cream?" lisa asked, thinking. "yes!" chaeyoung exclaimed.

"after the both of you talk,"

"yeah, right," lisa muttered. "should i go now?"

"hey, you're supposed to be here for a sleepover. you're leaving me again!" chaeyoung retorted and pouted. "i can't believe you are replacing me for her, hmp!"

"fine i'll stay," lisa groans.

"stay, stay with me~" chaeyoung singsonged then laughed after.

—•—

after the slumber party from chaeyoung's house, lalisa went back to the dorm immediately, hoping that jennie would be there, who wouldn't flinch away when she shows up.

what a nice timing, lisa thought as she saw jennie playing with her dog kuma, which she realized, she first saw when jisoo came to chaeyoung's place. lisa took deep breaths as she went near jennie, who probably doesn't feel her presence because her attention is on her dog.

she sat on the floor where jennie is patting kuma, a little exhausted from playing with him. jennie finally noticed her presence, nonetheless she still sat on her position, not flinching as she patted kuma's small frame.

lisa then patted kuma too, which made their hands brush. lisa didn't intended it, and again, jennie flinched.

it's been five days since i last talked to lisa, since our date. i wish it didn't happen, i wish i didn't ask her, because since that day my feelings for her are getting stronger. that day, i almost said i like her. yes, i just have come to realize that i like lalisa manoban, my roommate, my friend. and that is until where we can be. this is the only relationship that we can have—friends. yes, we are just friends. and i'm not planning on changing that, because that's all i can give her.

that was all going inside my head right now. that is all i can think about. i like her, but i should like her as a friend. just that.

and i've come to realize that right now she is sitting here right in front of me, trying to talk to me, but i guess she is nervous. i am nervous too, lalisa. but of course i won't show it, i'll keep my guards up. i've been waiting for days to talk to her, but i want her to come to me, not the other way around.

"what do you want?" i asked a little too harsh, which slightly startled her.

"jennie, can we talk?" she asked. the question i've been waiting for.

"we are talking right now," i deadpan. then lisa gave me the i-am-serious-let's-talk face. "what?"

"you know what i want us to talk about."

"i would not know unless you tell me," i retort.

"ugh, jennie why the fuck were you ignoring me? why do you distance yourself from me when I didn't do anything? why?" she asked in a tired tone.

i couldn't speak. it's like my lips are glued together. the feeling is bad but it is worse 'cause i don't know the reason.

why am i ignoring you in the first place? i don't know lalisa, i just don't know. (she's in denial).

so what i did instead is to hug lisa, i hug her tight so that she feels what i am feeling right now. kuma jumped out in between us and so lisa closed the gap between us and hugged me back. "i'm so sorry, lalisa," i managed to say.