School sucks, my English teacher Ms.Traut had given us a pop quiz today, I probably failed.

But oh well.

Oh more importantly Ryver has been ignoring me.

He only talks to me when he has to like yesterday in Chemistry, when he had to use one of the supplies the teachers gave us to do our experiments, so in conclusion he is most definitely ignoring me.

So right now I'm back in chemistry, sitting next to Ryver, he's on his phone, of course not bothering to mutter a word to me, and since Mr.Penn is out of class right now I debate what to do or more so say what to say to Ryver.

What do I say without embarrassing myself.

"Do you hate me?" I blurt, without thinking.

Wow, so smooth, what happened thinking before speaking. Huh?

He looks up from his phone screen. Damn it he heard me.

Of course he heard me! I wasn't quiet when saying it.

"No Ensleey I don't hate you." He says in a monotone voice, only registering my presence for a minute then going back to his phone.

"O-okay." I say, trying to think of what I can say that won't embarrass myself further.

"Why would you think that?" He sighs looking up from his phone once more, as if it's the most difficult thing he's had to do.

"Well you've been ignoring me..." I trail off, feeling stupid for even trying to start up a conversation.

"What do you want me to say to you?"

"I don't know anything." I say drawing shapes on my desk that lies in front of me.

"Why were you getting drunk at that college party?" Is what he decides to ask.

Crap, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"Ugh-Um-"

"Have I ever actually known or did you just lie?" He interrogates me further.

"Of course you know me." I say finally getting the courage to look up at him, and I see his eyes are focused intensely on me.

"It doesn't feel like it."

I suddenly wish Mr.Penn would come back.

As if the universe had seen my question Mr.Penn walks back into the classroom seconds later.

"Can we talk after class?" I ask, when Mr.Penn walks back into the classroom.

He nods, and I'm wondering how I'm going to tell him, even if it's just a snippet of the truth, or should I lie?

No, that would cause more problems.

Sadly we have lunch afterwards so it's not like I can back out by telling a lie.

I feel my heartbeat pick up when the sound of the bell can be heard.

Ryver grabs his bag and stares at me. He nods his head toward the door, as in telling me to follow him, so I do.

I try to rid myself of the idea, even if I want this I can't, he doesn't need the baggage that is my so-called life.

We walk out of the class, Justin stops him for second, they chitchat quietly and then Ryver grabs my wrist leading me through the mass, of bustling students, we go to the back of the school-where we kissed last time-he leans on the brick wall crossing his arms over his broad chest, looking at me, no doubt waiting for me to say something.

I don't, mainly since I can't muster enough words to form a proper sentence.

"How do you know my brother?" He finally asks.

"I met him last year at a frat party. He let me stay at his place since I was wasted." I say half the truth, it's not like I can say the full truth, how would I say it?

Something like 'oh you know your brother found me balling my eyes out at a frat party while my now ex boyfriend yelled for me to go back upstairs, and he had to punch him square in the face then drag me to his place because I could barely see straight.' I doubt he'd want to know that aspect.

"Why were you even at a frat party?" He says. "if you're comfortable telling me."

I like that he added the last part.

"It's complicated." I shake my head trying to rid of the awful memories that threaten to ruin me once again. "I don't normally get drunk anymore. I don't know what came over me that night."

"I don't know what to say." He admits, seeming more interested in his shoes all of sudden.

"Friends?" I say, his face morphs into a frown, does he want to be more?

Of course that's not the main reason, but could you expect more from someone who has too many bad experiences with guys in general?

"Yeah." I see him force a smile.

"Cool." I choose to say, feeling the thickness of the atmosphere engulf us.

Vut really cool? I could have thought of something better.

He nods and we end up going our separate ways.

I look at his figure as it gets smaller in this distance, and I wish I had met him, when I still had faith in humanity, but I guess we don't always get what we want.

Especially people like me.

*~*~*~*~*

"So what did I miss Friday night?" Chloe asks, plopping down on the sofa next to me, with a can of coke in her hand.

I'm now on Jake's couch, with the rest of my crazy friends, doing absolutely nothing important, Chloe has only gotten back yesterday from her trip with Theo, so she is still isnt informed of anything.

"Why did they name coca cola, coca cola?" Dean says looking at his can of coke with an intense gaze, his eyebrows furrowed as usual, per usual not paying attention to the conversation. "Why isn't it called Coke aboca or cokey?"

I worry about him.

"So the party?" Chloe asks again, Collin and Jake stare at me, probably how I'm going to decide to pitch the subject.

"Nothing different than usual." Collin says, thank goodness not bringing up again, it's not like I don't want to tell Chlo it's that I don't want to think about it anymore, I will tell her eventually.

The conversation flows from there. Until we were about to leave and Collin and Jake stared at each other then turned their eyes to me.

Oh boy, I'm in for it now.

After Chloe leaves, to study for a quiz, and Dean, going to the kitchen to search through his fridge, once again I worry about that kid.

"Did you talk to Ryver?" Jake starts.

"Yes." I say.

"And?" Collin adds.

"It's fine." I say both boys expectantly waiting for me to spill. "Ugh were friends again, happy?"

"Why?" Collin says frustrated. "You like him Ens you can't keep hiding forever."

"I'm not." Both boys give an 'are you serious?' look. "It's not worth it, he probably doesn't feel the same anyways."

Collin is about to say something but Jake raises his hand signalling him to stop, they have a conversation with just staring for a few seconds, I never understand how they can do it, but I just don't bother questioning them. Finally they both do a weird sideways nod.

"Keep telling yourself that." Collin says, and I wonder what he means, Jake and Collin aren't the type to drop something off the bat, unless they know it's useless or i'm not comfortable.

Even so today it didn't last long.

What the hell?

"You have cheese!" Dean shouts with excitement, coming from the kitchen holding cheddar cheese in his hand, really you'd think he's a four year old child with how much happiness he holds over a piece of cheese.

The conversation is now long forgotten thanks to Dean's antics.

All three of us ending up leaving Jakes a little afterwards, I see Jake and Collin having a silent conversation.

I hope those two idiots are not plotting anything crazy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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