《Classroom of The Elite FanFic: Ayanokoji The Lucky bastard》Vol.3 Chapter 2 Toilet's problem
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"In this special test, you have to survive on this island for 7 days. You have to encamp, find the food, and survive on your own. You will get 2 tents, 2 flashlights, a box of matchsticks, one toothbrush per person, unlimited sunscreen, and for the female student, you will get unlimited sanitary napkins too. About the test, each class will get 300 points. These points can be used to buy facilities, like food, water or the toilet. You have to manage it by yourself, we will give you a manual for using points too. In this manual, they will tell you how to use the point and how to lose the point. You have to report yourself to the teacher in the morning and evening, if you don't, your class will lose 5 points per time. And if someone withdraws from the test, his or her class will lose 30 points. Therefore, class A will get only 270 points because there is a student absence. You can increase the points too. On this island, there was someplace to be set to the territory. You can occupy these territories and get 1 point per time. Your occupying will stay for 8 hours, then if you want to continue it, you have to occupy again. How to occupy? Each class has to choose its leader, the leader can't change without an acceptable reason. The leader will hold the keycard that use to occupy the territories. On the final day, you have to guess the other classes' leader. If you guess right, you will get 50 points for each class you can guess their leader, but if you're wrong you will lose 50 points instead. Otherwise, the class that let other classes guess their leader, will lose 50 points. After finish, this exam, the points that remain after guessing the leaders will be combined with your class points." Mashima-Sensei said without breathing.
"And I won't answer any question about the test. The reader already knows the rule clearly, and they were explained again and again in uncountable fan-fiction. They don't care about the test's rule anymore! They just want to know how class D win the test!? So let move on. And start surviving to entertain the reader!"
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"This is Superabsorbent polymer. " Chabashira-Sensei said while holding some white plate. "You had to put it into the plastic bag in the temporary toilet. How does it work? Basically, you poop in this, it will suck the water out of your poop. Then, your molten smelly poop will become a solid poop without any smell."
She looked around. "Any question, no. Yes. Thank you."
"No my ass!" Shinohara screamed. "How could I use that shitty cardboard for the toilet!? More than that how can I use it with that boys!?"
"ํYou don't need to use it. " The teacher said. "You can pay 20 points to buy a toilet, real toilet---"
"Let's buy it. " Shinohara announced. Other girls agreed with her.
"Wait a Chotto!" Ike shouted. "It wasn't necessary! Come on, we will lose 20 points for just a toilet?"
"It isn't just the toilet!" Shinohara replied. "It's about hygiene. And it will protect the girls from someone like you! You will sit on the toilet that the girls used before, and start imagining something dirty!"
"Damn! I never thought about it before, but when you say that--it was a god damn good idea!" Yamauchi mumbled, causing the girl to look at him with disgust.
Sudo stepped in and said;
"Listen, girls. It doesn't matter that where are you poop. The real question is why do you have to poop? You need to poop because you want to throw something out of your stomach, so why do you let a little stuff like where to poop mess your mind. Why don't you throw it away with your poop? Ah, I need to go to the toilet."
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He walked to the sea and took his pants off.
"Since everything is nothing, the sea is the same with the toilet."
The girls all around started screaming when Sudo released his fluid.
Someone laughed very loud.
"Good job. Good job, Red Hair boy. Only normal people worry about the toilet. The great is never interested in a little stuff. " It was Koenji Rokusuke. I almost forgot him, he didn't appear in the last volume.
Koenji walked to stand beside Sudo and took off his pants.
"What a good view, don't you think so?" He asked Sudo.
"The sea is so peaceful. " Sudo meditated. "So Zen."
Before someone died because of this sinister scenario. Hirata started speaking and took everyone's attention.
"Everyone! Let continue talking about the toilet. I think it's necessary, don't you think so?"
"See, even Hirata-Kun agreed with me!" Shinohara took this advantage, but Ike rebut her immediately.
"Stop! Don't you think we need to keep the point something more important? A yen a day, keep poor away. Never heard?"
"It is A laugh a day, keep worries away. Idiot! What an annoying idiot! Karuizawa-San said something, please." After her opinion won the king's heart, her next target was the queen.
But without any expectation, Karuizawa agreed with Ike.
"Um. I don't think it's that needful. I want the points too so we should bear for a while." She said.
"What are you saying, Karuizawa-San?" Shinohara felt shocked, maybe she thought her friend would take her side.
Yukimura decided to join the battle too.
"I understand how you feel, Shinohara. But this is the golden opportunity to chase other classes. We shouldn't use the points too easily. I can't waste the point with something like the toilet."
"Who gives you the right to decide it?"
"And who gives you the right to use the point?" Yukimura asked her back.
The arguing continued without any content. It was just the fight between the party who considered the toilet more worthy than points and the party who thought the opposite.
Hirata tried to compromise them but he couldn't do anything.
In the end, Ike said.
"This argument is useless. I will go to find the place to encamp and some territory! Yukimura, please keep watching on these girls, okay? Don't let them use any point!" Then, he walked toward the forest.
"Roger!" replied Yukimura.
"Wait, Ike-Kun! In the forest is dangerous! We should go with the group." Hirata warned him. Ike thought and nodded as agreeing. At least, there wasn't any argument about this issue.
Hirata asked for a volunteer to join the explore team. At first, there were only two men on the team. But when Kushida decided to join, the number of male members grew significantly.
I sighed and stood up. Horikita looked at me with suspicion.
"Where're you going?" She asked.
"I will go with Ike. Staying here is nothing. " This class seemed to be helped with my luck again.
I walked together with my classmate. In the end, we got 14 people. So they decided to separate into 4 groups of three. Of course, I was leftover in a group of two with Koenji.
Sakura might be a pity for me, she decided to join my team. If there was another man left after Kushida, they joined our team now.
Sakura refused to join anyone team but me though.
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"You should make friends with Wang-San. I mean Mii-Chan. " I told Sakura while we walking across the forest.
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Why? She asked through her notebook.
"Trust me. " I rubbed her head. I couldn't tell her that Sato and Mori had a crush on me, they stared at Sakura with envious for a while. On the other hand, Mii-chan or Wang Mei-Yu had a crush on Hirata, she would be kind to Sakura.
While we were talking, Koenji walked through the forest as walking in his garden. He didn't say anything to us. Therefore, I tried to drag him into the conversation. Maybe he would be a good friend, who knows?
"Koenji--"
"Beautiful! A beautiful being like me is surrounded by beautiful nature! It's too beautiful!!!!"
Never mind.
I saw Sakura shaking after she looked at Koenji.
"Shhh. Sakura. " I tried to console her. "Koenji Rokusuke doesn't exist, he can't hurt you."
But he is there.
"That's just the mass of narcissistic feelings. He isn't human. So you can't call him Koenji. " I tried my best to make her believe.
Sakura looked at me and nodded hesitantly. It was enough for now.
"So Sakura, why did you join the explore team?"
Because of you.
She answered, then looked at her notebook again. Before she tore that page while blushing.
I mean I worry about you. I ain't like I want to be with you or something. Baka.
Wait, why did she turn to be Tsundere?
"Sakura. Where did you learn those words?" I asked her.
Ichinose-San taught me. She said guys like this personality
Well yes, if you were the irritable flat loli. (Or be voiced by Rie Kugimiya.) Of course, Sakura was the opposite of that ideal.
"Hm. I am surprised that you befriend Ichinose too."
Well, after you and Yamauchi-Kun helped me from that guy. Ichinose-San and I accidentally met each other at the dorm. We exchanged contact and hang out sometimes.
I appreciated and was glad to hear that. Ichinose was a friendly person, she knew many people and knew how to deal with them. I was sure Ichinose could help Sakura.
I felt Koenji's figure seemed to be far away, so I turned my face to him and said.
"Koenji. Don't go too fast. You will get lost. "
Koenji turned back to me and laughed.
"Do you think I am that fool? I never get lost, Ayanokouji-Boy. Sakura-Girl. Talk about this. I will ask you for normal people's perspectives. " He said. "Do you see something strange in this forest?"
I and Sakura looked around and saw nothing.
"What strange?" I asked him.
Koenji grinned. "I see. Normal people are normal, anyway. Huh. If I the great have to babysit for you two, I will never meet some good place---"
As soon as he ended his words, Koenji jumped to the branches of trees, before he went away by hanging from the tree to tree.
I and Sakura opened our mouths wider.
Ayanokouji-Kun, what kind of fiction are we again? Action-Fantasy?
"The unreasonable kind, Sakura. The unreasonable kind. " I answered her.
Well, Koenji's move was so unbelievable. But I didn't shock that much. Because I confronted something that was more unbelievable.
Since we came into this forest, I already had found 57 territories by chance.
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"Jesus, Christ!" Hirata exclaimed. "57 territories?"
"Yes, we should choose the leader now. And dominate all territories immediately. " I suggest him.
"I don't think so, if we're lack careful, the other rooms will know our leader. " Hirata's reason was acceptable. Although I was sure that because of my luck, no one would know our leader. But since he didn't know about it. I didn't oppose him.
"So we choose this place. Um, the good one. "
I looked around. We were at the riverside in the middle of the forest. The big tree spread its branches, covered us from the sun. By the river, there was a big rock with strange machinery embedded. The river was as clear as the mirror. I also saw the fish in the river too.
Even the words good one was too rude for Ike who found this place. It was just like a paradise.
"This is the greatest place. " Ike announced. "We can use water from the river and our water problem will be solved. "
"I agree with you, Ike-Kun. If we encamp in this territory, we can retain the river and get 1 point every 8 hours. " Hirata said. All of our class agreed with him. Although Shinohara seemed to be displeased that Ike found this place, but she didn't resist or anything.
"So what we need to do now is find the leader?" Yukimura said. "Who should be?"
"I think it shouldn't be Hirata-Kun or Karuizawa-San, they're too outstanding. If I were in other classes, I would guess these two." Kushida said.
"But we need someone responsible too. " Karuizawa pointed out.
"That's why I nominated Horikitata-San. "
Kushida said something that I never expected, but except I and Horikita that knew how Kushida hate her, no one was surprised. Well, Ike collapsed with a nosebleed, but it wasn't surprising though.
"Horikita-San? Yes, she didn't that outstanding, and she has a high responsibility. "
"On the midterm test, she helped Sudo, Ike, and Yamauchi to pass the test, didn't she?"
I turned my face to my closest female friend.
"How do you think?"
"I don't have a reason to deny. I can't find anyone else who is qualified anyway."
Because of Horikita's answer, we told Chabashira-Sensei, and she gave us the keycard with Horikita's name on it. This meant if someone found the card, they would know who was our leader.
"And how should we do while Horikita-San dominates the territory?" Yukimura said.
"What do you mean?" Hirata asked.
"Well. We were surrounded by the forest, we won't know if someone hides and peeks behind the tree."
"While Horikita-Chan's using the machinery, we just let the whole class beset her, no one will know. " Ike suggest.
It was a little risky, but it was the best way for the class. We agreed with him.
"Okey. We have managed with water and camp problem now---" Ike rubbed his chin while thinking, but Shinohara shouted with displeasure.
"What do you mean water problem?"
"Well, we can drink the water from the river and also take a bath on it too."
"Ew!" Shinohara said. "Who the hell in this world drink the water from the river?"
"Almost everyone in the world. " Ike said, he looked glumpy. "Come on, it is so clean. I will show you."
Ike walked to the river and scoop water. He drank it immediately. Some girls looked at him with unbelievable faces.
"Disgusting! The river is so dirty! You will get diarrhea, cholera, gallstones, and polio!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ike shouted with anger. "This is the pure nature river, not the dirty river next to the factory. It's clean and drinkable!"
"How can you survive until now!? The disease is everywhere! If you're careless, you will die before you know what disease do you got! The toilet too! I couldn't use some cardboard toilet without sanitation!"
And the issue returned to the toilet again. Before the battle began, I stepped in and said.
"Calm down, you too. I can find a way to solve both of your problems."
"How?" Ike raised his eyebrows.
I asked Shinohara. "Do you want the good toiler?" She nodded. So I asked Ike. "And you don't want to waste the points?" He nodded.
"Well, you should be happy. Because I find this---Sudo!" I called Sudo.
He walked out of the forest, carrying something.
It was a temporary toilet, the same as the one that we had to pay 20 points for buying it. The one that Shinohara wanted. Sudo carried it with one arm.
"H--How can you do that?" Yamauchi mumbled with fear when he saw his friend carrying the 200 kilograms metal box.
"If you learned to throw everything away, you can carry everything. " Sudo said Zen philosophy again.
He put the toilet by the river. "Finish, Ayanokouji."
"Thank you, Sudo. " I nodded.
"Where did you find it?" Hirata asked me with surprise.
"In the forest. " I explained. "I think it is from last year's test. I thought this island have been used for the survival test for many years. This toilet might be our Senpai's. Anyway. I think we can use it. "
"Doesn't it against the rule?" Sato asked with hesitation.
"No. " Hirata nodded. "The rule said you can use anything on this island to survive. I think the school will allow."
Shinohara looked at the old toilet with scared.
"It has been here for a year or more. Are you sure it will clean?" She asked.
"I won't gonna lie to you. But it needs a big cleaning. It won't be beyond our ability. The real problem is the water system. Can you help me, Doc?" I asked Doctor. But he shook his head.
"I am the technology prodigy, not a plumber, sir."
Hirata looked around and asked. "Someone can fix this toilet?"
I felt impressed with Hirata. Although he knew a new situation for a minute. He designed to manage with it immediately.
But I didn't think there would be a young plumber here.
"I can. " Hondo raised his hand.
Oh, there was. Luckily.
"Wait. Where did you learn how to fix the toilet?" Yamauchi asked.
"Do you remember last month that I got constipation? Well, like I told you. I can't poop. So I just sat on the toilet and hoped it would come out. While I used an hour in the toiler every day. I learned the nature of the toilet, and I knew the toilet is my life. Since then, I devote my free time to learning about the toilet and its nature."
Everybody became silent and looked at Hondo's face. He wasn't kidding.
"O--Okey. Hondo-Kun, please take care of the toilet. " Hirata saw Shinohara's face, so he continued his lines. "If it didn't work, we will consider the necessity to pay the points again."
Shinohara nodded her head. But I felt like she won't end this issue easily.
"Although this toiler works, I won't drink water from the river, okay?" She said and went to gather with her friend group.
Hirata looked followed her with worry. He turned his face to his girlfriend.
"Karuizawa-San. Please take care Shinohara-San."
"Yosh!" Karuizawa nodded with a smile and walked to the girl's group. If Karuizawa could change Shinohara's mind. Everything would gonna be better. These two influenced the girls in the class a lot.
"That idiot girl. " Ike mumbled and walked to the forest.
"Where're you going, Kanji?" Yamauchi asked him.
"Swimming. " He said and walked away.
It looked like the meeting was ended. Hirata told us to rest while waiting for Hondo to fix the toilet. Everyone separated to their own place. I saw Horikita sitting under the tree so I went to sit with her.
"This isn't good. " She said when I sat down.
"Because Shinohara argues with Ike?"
"You sitting next to me, this's not good. But also that issue. If we are disunited like this, we'll lose other class." Horikita sighed. "I understood both of them. If it's possible, I won't use any points. But in this situation, it's impossible."
I understood her. I never went to the forest like most of the class. It was a tough situation. I couldn't become the wildman in a day though.
"Can I beg you with something?" Horikita asked me.
"Sorry, I haven't forgotten Ichinose yet. I'm not ready to have a new girl."
The compass flew shave my hair.
"What kind of people are you to take the compass to the summer vacation?"
"The warrior is never far from his sword. " Horikita replied. "I want you to follow Ike."
"Why?"
"Ike looked familiar with outdoor activity. I think we need him in this test."
"Why you don't follow him by yourself?"
Horikita looked at me.
"Sometimes, you have to know your limit. There is no shame to ask someone to help you with something. I asked you because I trust you. " She said with a soft tone.
Oh, Horikita was changed----
"Nah, I'm just too lazy. So I ask you instead."
She didn't change at all.
"Do by yourself. I want to have some rest too."
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