The entire drive to the station is quiet , the police officer keeps on looking at me through the dashboard mirror and shaking his head at me .

Am I feeling guilty , nope ! actually I feel like I'm high on cocaine and I have no care in the world .

When I get into the cell , I sit on the bench and immediately sleep takes me over .

This is not the most comfortable I've slept, but this could be worse . I'm violently shaken , I and I do wake up .

The warden calls me to the visiting . The hand cuff are still on my hands, but I'm almost used to the coldness of the metal and its tightness around my wrists .

He leads me to a room full of benches , a few people are sitting there talking with their families . I look over to where he's taking me . I see momma dressed in a floral knee length .

And Bethany , in jeans and a white tshirt .They're both looking at me in disbelief , well momma with teary eyes .

I sit on the bench opposite to them . The warden leaves . And I'm left just staring blankly at them .

Momma stands up and then engulfs me in a hug . Bethany soon joins in . Then they go back to their seats .

"Honey what happened?" Momma's voice sound tired .

" He-he cheated." I tell them both . Beth looks at me in surprise and momma looks confused .

"Jacob ?"momma asks . And I nod .

"Yes mom , Jason . " I say to her and her face twist to the one emotion I used to fear when I was a kid . Anger .

"Then why are you here then . Did that scumbag send you to jail?" Its now Beth who is asking.

" I beat them up . I mean Jason and the harlot." I say , momma gasps because of the cuss that escaped my words and Beth smirks.

" Honey , I always told you that violence is not the answer ." Momma says . Raising her voice .

"What was I supposed to do , the whore was throwing my insecurities right I'm my face ." I say . Also raising my voice .

"You could have told her to stop , and if not you could have done what other women did when their husbands cheat . You could have left !" She screams in my face .

"Yes you're right, I could have . But I didn't, I made my bed and I will lie in it no arguements whatsoever ." I say . I'm done talking to momma , she'd never understand , she believes in nonviolence and all but it never works .

"I cant sit here and pretend that I regret what I did yesterday , because I dont . I dont regret a thing I said . I dont regret a thing I did . Because I'm tired of being run over , being overlooked. So no , it's their fault not mine ." I scream at momma and Beth .

" Would you stop blaming other people . You had a choice Cassandra , you could have walked away , you should have ! So you know what , it is your fault , you did this to yourself . I'm so disappointed in you Cassandra . But who am I to judge , I dont know what it felt like to be in your position. All I know is that your father and I taught you better ." She says . Bringing up dad was below the belt .

But I won't say anything she's my mother . I nod and look at Bethany .

"Make sure she never comes here again ." I say and their faces fall .

" I dont want my mother to see me like this . And Beth , please make sure she doesn't work anymore . Mariah will send my profits to you and you'll take care of my momma . I dont want her fainting while I'm not there to help ." I say and then I stand up.

I go around the table and I kiss her cheek and then kiss Bethany's cheek .

"I love you guys , take care ." I say . And then I begin walking away .

I hear my mother's broken sobs and Bethany trying to soothe her . When I get to the door I turn around . My mother looks defeated , her eyes are blood shot . When she feels my gaze , her head shoots up and she gives me a weak smile . I nod and then I get in .

Is this the right decision, is momma right , could I have made a better decision? I dont know for sure . But I know that I need this .

I need to be away from reality for some time . And this is the best way to avoid reality .

You did this to yourself.

Momma's words ring in my head the entire time . I hurt my momma by the stupid choice I've made . And I couldn't even apologize.

For some reason unknown to me , the warden and I come to a sudden halt . I look up . Oh , were at my cell . I look at him .

"Thank you , have a nice day ." I say to him .

He looks surprised , almost taken off guard . I understand though , most prisoners insult him .

He nods at me then he leads me in and then removes my handcuffs . He's about to go , but he stops then looks at me .

" You know if you keep this up and also take behavioral therapy and classes , you'll be outta here before you can say life sentence ."he says with a slight smile .

I nod at him . " Thank you for informing me."

He walks away . What a nice man . I settle on the bench slash bed like structure.

And then sleep overtakes me . I'm drifting to another dreamless sleep .

It's just quiet , no thoughts , no talking . No loud and obnoxious snoring coming from Jason .

No waiting up for him . I literally have so much peace right now . Well I had piece until I hear a person saying my name .

" Mrs Smith! "She says again and then I look up with a little bit of a blurry vision.

Its Kerrie , my lawyer . The warden from earlier comes and opens the cell door or gate , I dont know .

He nods at me and I nod back .

We head to that benched room again . Kerrie takes out some papers.

"So how are you Cassiey?" She asks .

"I'm fine thank you." I reply .

"That's a good start . Now let's sum a simple plan to get you out of here as quickly as possible." She says in a peppy voice that comes through as annoying to me .

It sounds exactly like Kayla's when I first gave her the job .

"You can come to the office first thing Monday morning , and we'll discuss everything you are going to do ." I had said to her .

"Thank you . Thank you so so much . The lord bless your soul . I won't ever disappoint" she said with a peppy voice .

I was happy I had helped her out .

" I dont want to be out of this place ." I say to her .

"What?" She asks , the peppy voice long gone . I smile internally .

"I said , I dont want to be out of this place ." I repeat my words .

" No , no please Cassiey , listen to me . You're my first big case . And I need to show my boss that I what I can do . Please ." She begs . I just stare at her blankly .

I literally watch as her face falls.

I give in . " Okay , fine . But I don't want bail and I should at least be in here for over two years ." Curse my good heart .

She smile at me and then looks over the stacks of papers in front of her .

"Well looks like you've been charged with ... assault and ... attempted murder. " she says .

"What ? Murder ? No , nobody died ." I say to her and she shakes her head .

" A miss Kayla Dixon who was one of your victims has been admitted to the hospital , I don't know what her injuries are , I'll come back in the morning to inform you . But if the word coma leaves my mouth then you're in here for a long time ." She says with a sad look.

I honestly wish she was in a coma, I'd love love love to stay here for a long time. But I won't tell her that .

I just nod and then she begins to ask me a few questions . The case is going to start in a month . So this is home sweet home .