"I can't believe you're coming tomorrow. I'm so excited Mads, you have no idea." I tell my friend in a monotone voice.

She chuckles. "Well you don't sound excited."

I sigh and roll over in my bed. "I am, I swear. You know I am." I'm just finding it hard to be happy these days you know? One day Ashley and I are avoiding each other and the next we're making out. It's been five days since the photo shoot and once again we're doing this little dance we do. I wish we could just make a choice either way.

Let each other go... or figure out a way to tell Lexy and I guess now Stacy.

See why I didn't want to get involved?

I'm such a mess.

"I know, Spence. I'm gonna handle all this shit when I get there." Madison says seriously, causing me to giggle.

"You're not handling anyone, Madison so stop it."

"Oh bitch I will."

"You better go off!" I half shout, making her laugh.

"You know I'll get Sasha Fierce on a bitch Spencer, please don't make me." I chuckle and bury my head in the pillow. Sigh. Madison never fails to amaze me. She can make me feel better in any situation.

One of the many things I love about her.

"I love you." I tell her, turning over on my back. I glance over at the clock and see it's only seven-thirty in the morning. I still haven't gotten on west coast time yet.

"I know you do." She says and I can practically hear the cockiness seeping from her voice.

"Oh it's like that." I chuckle.

"You know I love you, Spence." She says and I can't help but smile. "I gotta go, Aiden's taking me to his parent's for some God awful brunch, but we'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Wait, how do you know it's gonna be awful if you haven't gotten there yet?" I question my friend.

"Because it's with his family, duh." She replies quickly and I fight the urge to snort out a laugh. As much as Madison loves Aiden, her and his family have never really gotten along. She calls it the needle in her haystack. Impossible to see in all the love they have for each other but in the back of your mind you always know it's there and you just hope one day you don't find it. I just laugh and shake my head at her.

"What time am I picking you guys up?"

"I think the flight gets in around seven or something. I'll have to check. Text you when I get home. Love you Spence."

"Love you too." I tell her and we hang up. As I toss my phone on the bedside table there's a knock on my door. I shoot upright, straightening out my hair and making myself presentable. "Come in." I tell the person behind the door, thinking it's Ashley.

"Hey bestii." Lexy comes in and jumps on my bed.

Oh.

It's just my best friend that I'm completely betraying behind her back.

I put on my best Spencer smile. "Good morning. Wait..." I narrow my eyes at her as she jumps on the bed. "Why aren't you at work?" I question and quirk a brow.

"That's what I came in here to talk to you about." She tells me, dropping down on the bed. She crawls up next to me and pulls me into an embrace. It doesn't feel how it used to. Now the only thing I feel when I'm around Lexy is guilt. It's definitely put a huge strain on our friendship.

"What's up?"

"Well my asshole of a boss called me this morning right before I was heading out, telling me to come in later because she needs me to go out of town with her for the night." She pauses, turning to look at me with the biggest grin on her face. I already know what's coming next.

"Lex." I groan out.

"Oh come on, Spence. You've been spending every second with Stacy, which is great." She says, nodding with enthusiasm. "I think it's awesome that you're moving past Carmen, hell, Carmen can drop-"

"Moving on." I interrupt my best friend with a smile.

"Right." She nods. "I just think that Ashley's been a little I don't know... down or something lately and I know you can cheer her up." I roll my eyes at the irony of that statement. If only Lexy knew. "I'm just asking you stay home with her tonight, you guys can hang out, you know... make s-"

"I swear if you say s'mores the deal's off." I say, pointing a stern finger at my friend. She chuckles and holds her hands up. "Fine." I groan, playfully rolling my eyes. Like hanging out with Ashley is such a task.

"Yay!" She jumps up, clapping her hands together. "I'll go tell Ashley, she's gonna be so excited." She hops off the bed and makes for the door.

"Wait Lex, what time are you gonna be back?" I question.

"I don't know." She shrugs. "With dragonlady I can never tell."

"Well is it cool if I pick up Madison and Aiden from the airport?"

"No way." She shakes her head. "She is not ge-"

"Lexy!" I scold my friend. I really don't understand why they don't like each other. They've never met and I've never told the other something bad that the other one has said about them so really, what's the big deal?

"I'm serious, Spencer!" She points at me.

"And how exactly will you know if I did?" I ask with a raised brow and smirk.

"Oh I'll know." She tells me with narrowed eyes. We stare at each other for a moment before she suddenly smiles, cheery again. What the hell? Did she just like hit a switch or something? "But I'm sure Ashley wouldn't mind taking you." She says before skipping off.

And yes.. I really mean she skipped out of my room.

"I hate you!" I yell after her.

"I love you too." She shouts back.

Great. I have to spend all night entertaining Ashley...

Freaking amazing.

I grab my phone off the nightstand and text Stacy. We kinda had plans tonight. Like we've had every other night this week. I text her that I'm doing Lexy a favor and can't hang out tonight. She texts back a sad face but says it's okay and that I'll have to make it up to her another night.

Awesome. I sigh and toss my phone on the bed, then get up to get ready for my day.

–

"You didn't have to do this." Ashley says as we sit next to each other on the couch. It's so awkward between us right now that I feel like I'm on one of those awkward first dates that your parent's decide it's a good idea to set you up on. You know, with the geeky boy from church. And you spend the whole night with your hands on your laps, stealing glances at each other but neither dare make a move... any kind of move.

Yeah, that's how it is between Ashley and I right now.

"I know." I tell her, turning my head slightly to look at her. "But when have you ever known me to say no to Lexy? When has anyone ever not done something that she's wanted?" I ask and we both contort our faces like we're searching for an answer. Lexy has a way of always getting what she wants.

"Hmph." Ashley says then chuckles. "I guess you've got a point." She adds and I join her in laughter.

"I know right." I say as we both continue to laugh. A few moments later we sigh out of our laughter and she turns her head to look at me.

"Can we stop doing this?" She asks, now turning her whole body to face me.

"Doing what?"

"Disappearing on each other." She replies quickly. "I can't take it, Spencer." She shakes her head. "I can't take it when we don't talk. It kills me."

"It kills me too." I nod. "I just don't know what else to do." I add honestly. She nods, not knowing what else to say on that particular subject. I don't dare bring up the obvious. That we could end all this agony. That we could finally just be together if we could just tell Lexy.

Figure out a way and just tell her. Sure it'll hurt. She probably won't talk to me for a while but, this is excruciating. Wanting her so much and having her so close. So within my grasp and still not be able to really touch her...

It's killing me.

"So... you and Stacy seem to be getting pretty serious." She says after a while of silence. I turn to look at her. She's not going there. I narrow my eyes at her and her lips slowly curl up into a smile.

"Jerk." I lightly push her in the shoulder.

"You're not denying it Spencer." She's smiles, nudging me back.

"Why? You jealous?" I tease.

"You wish." She counters.

"Oh I know." I reply quickly with a smirk.

"Cockiness is so sexy on you." She leans in and whispers to me, her face a mere inch from mine. The closeness of her face catches me off guard and the sharp intake of breathe nearly knocks me backwards. "Annnnd it's gone." She adds with a smile.

Ooooo! She so did that on purpose.

"You little-" I'm not able to complete my sentence as she jumps on me and starts tickling me.

"Little what?" She questions, tickling the life of out me.

No really... I can't breathe.

"You totally did that on purpose you sneak!" I get out through giggles.

"And what if I did?" She asks quirking a brow.

"Stop it!" I chuckle, trying to catch my breath.

"Nope." She says, continuing with the tickle fest.

"I hate you so much right now." I tell her and she stops tickling me. Looking down at me.

"You take that back right now, Spencer Carlin!" She says, trying to sound serious but I can see the smile playing at her lips.

"Or what?" I question with a smirk.

"You don't want to find out." She warns. I'm not scared.

"Nope." I cross my arms as she hovers over my body.

"Okay." She shrugs and gets up to walk away.

Wait that's it? No more tickling? No fight? No anything?

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"To my room. I'm going to bed." She replies nonchalantly. I smile as I pull her back by her shirt to the couch.

"Like hell." I tell her. She giggles as I start to tickle her.

That's how most of the night went. We talked and laughed. Watched TV and laughed some more. I love how easy everything is with her.

I've never felt so comfortable with anyone... not even Lexy or Madison.

In this moment no one else exists but me and Ashley.

I flip through the channels and Ashley giggles as I mumble annoyance at the lack of good television shows late at night.

"Spence leave it on something." Ashley comments as she shuffles further down the couch.

"There's nothing good. I mean what's the point of cable making so many channels if you're not going to put anything on them."

I drop the remote against my stomach as I settle on Animal Planet.

"Kittens!" I shriek in excitement and Ashley groans. I look at her in disbelief. "Do not tell me you don't like kittens."

Ashley just shrugs unimpressed by their tiny faces and tiny paws and all their cuteness. How can you not like kittens?!

"Okay I won't tell you kittens are cute." She's smirking. I hate it when she smirks only because I love it so much.

"Are you blind?! Seriously look at them! Oh no that one fell down." Ashley tosses her head back in laughter as she admires my adorableness. I wasn't trying to be. The poor kitty. "Don't laugh at me." I answer trying to be threatening but it's completely overpowered by my giggles.

What?! I can't help it she's cute when she laughs.

I do the next best thing.

I pout.

"Don't pout." She sighs and shakes her head.

I know I win when she sighs.

"Yay." I say cutely, pumping a fist in the air. She chuckles at me before we both turn back to the TV, watching the cuteness of the kittens as they run around and play.

Don't judge me.

"I wrote you a song." Ashley says, looking down at me as her hand strokes my hair. We're laying on the couch now. Her back is against the arm and I'm laying between her legs as she strokes my hair. We've been this way for the past few hours. Just enjoying each others touch.

"Another one?" I ask in disbelief. It's amazing how many songs she's written about me.

Crazy.

"Mhm." She nods and smiles brightly. "Can I play it for you?" She asks, and for the first time she seems nervous.

"Of course." I nod and sit up, scooting my back up against the other arm rest as she gets up to grab her guitar. She sits back down across from me, positioning the guitar comfortably in her lap.

She strums it a few times, making sure it's in tune. "It's not really-"

"Ashley." I cut her off, already knowing what she was gonna say.

"Huh?" She raises a brow, looking up from her guitar.

"It's gonna be perfect." I smile. She returns my smile and says to play.

The first few chords of the song of the song are beautiful. She looks up at me and smiles and I can't help but smile back lovingly at her.

"Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me. But bear this in mind it was meant to be. And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks and it all makes sense to me." She keeps her eyes focused on mine as she sings.

"I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes, when you smile. You've never loved your stomach or your thighs. The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine but I'll love them endlessly. I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if I do. It's you. Oh it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you and all these little things." I smile at the cheesy cuteness of her lyrics, swaying to the music.

"You can't go to bed, without a cup of Tea and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep. And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me. I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weigh and you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you're perfect to me. I won't let these little things, slip out of my mouth. But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you, and all these little things." The chords change and I know the bridge is coming. I've watched her play enough to know what comes next. She smiles and continues.

"You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you. And you'll never treat yourself right darling, but I want you to. If I let you know I'm here for you. Maybe you'll love yourself like I, love you. Oh. And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth. Cause it's you. Oh, it's you. It's you they add up to. And I'm in love with you. And all these little things." She strums harder getting towards the end of the song.

"I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if it's true. It's you. It's you add up to. I'm in love with you and all these little things." She finishes and I go to clap but stop myself. Taking in the lyrics of the song. My eyes scan hers as she puts her guitar on the floor beside her.

I shake my head.

That can't be what I just heard.

She didn't...

"You..." I trail off, swallowing the lemon in my throat. I close my eyes and feel the couch shift. She's moved closer to me. I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

Her hot breath dances on my cheek as she whispers, "I do." She nods against my skin. "I love you, Spencer." She says and my heart sinks.

This just became so much more complicated.

Not because it's Lexy's girlfriend right now telling me she loves me but because...

"I love you, too." I whisper.

–

Song Used- One Direction- Little Things