《Under Investigation》15
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"I wish you didn't have to go," Sadie whispered. It was Jett's last night and they were curled together on the couch watching TV.
"I've got to keep filming," he said back, rubbing her arm softly. "I know you don't want me to, but it's my passion. I have to keep pushing this. I can't show weakness because everyday I keep going out there, I have more answers."
"But at what cost?" Sadie murmured. She didn't want to stop him, she just didn't think he had fully taken into account what had happened. His mind still had not healed.
Jett sighed, "There's always a cost, but I have never let it stop me."
Sadie wondered if he realized how worried she was about him. If he had noticed, why hadn't he acknowledged it? It wasn't like she was asking him to quit everything and move in with her, she just wanted him to see the toll his lifestyle had on his mental and physical health.
She knew he was used to taking care of himself, but she wished he would fully let her in. He never really clued her in when he mentioned investigations. Heck, she only knew most of the stuff because of his show. She was beginning to feel excluded, that she would never be as important as his career.
Did that even matter? Sadie wasn't sure. She could handle work coming first, if Jett told her about what happened or how he was feeling periodically.
Sadie cleared her train of thought. She and Jett hadn't even defined their relationship. She was getting way too ahead of herself.
Yet, an anxious knot had already began to grow in the pit of her stomach. What was going to happen to their relationship when Jett left?
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"Woah, Sadie. You need to calm down before you work yourself into a panick attack," Jett said, feeling her heart rate pick up as she became lost in thought. He didn't want to be the cause of this. What had he said that would cause her to react the way she was?
Jett backtracked. He knew she was worried, and he hadn't done a good job about reassuring her or even asking her to be his girlfriend. She was probably thinking that when he left he was just going to cut off contact again.
He couldn't blame her for that. He promised he wouldn't cause her anymore pain or distress, yet he had.
Sadie sucked in a deep breath and released it. She just needed to learn to live in the moment. She had a great weekend, and she would be okay if that's all there was to this. At least it didn't end on a horrible note like last time.
She faked a yawn, "I just had a lot on my mind, but I think I am going to go to bed now."
"No, please. Let's talk more about this," he pleaded, holding onto her hand so she wouldn't get up. He didn't want to end things like last time. He didn't want to be without Sadie.
"Talk more about what?" she whispered. She didn't want to hear about his passion for his job anymore tonight. It already wasn't going to leave her head for awhile.
"Us. I want to be with you, Sadie, but I can't stay with you out here-"
Sadie cut him off. "I'm not asking you to," she said with a bit of snap. It was like he knew her thoughts and it startled her.
"Shh, baby. Let me finish," he soothed, tugging her closer to him. "I can't stay while I have episodes scheduled to film. I can promise that I will call every night like before, that I will fly here every time I have a break. I know you have a lot of responsibilities here, but you can always join me at a location, or come to Vegas." he shrugged.
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Sadie turned to look at him. She didn't doubt his promise, but it seemed to be too much hassle for someone like Jett who could have anything with the snap of his fingers.
Jett stroked her cheek. "I'm falling in love with you, Sadie. You care for me like know one else has. I want to make this work. I want to be your boyfriend, a real one, not some half-ass long distance crap. We can do it."
She blushed, "I'd love for you to my boyfriend." If he was willing to put in his hundred percent, she could do the same.
Jett bent his head to kiss her softly. "No more of this overthinking. You need to talk to me if something is bothering you. I want to hear all of your thoughts, especially if we're going to be primarily talking on the phone while I am on the road. Can you promise me you will try?"
"I promise to try, Jett," she said breathlessly, hoping he'd kiss her again.
He smiled down at her, taking in all of the details of her face. She was so beautiful, inside and out. She was calm and grounded. He didn't know how he could have ever been so lucky.
He pressed his lips to hers, sliding his hands down to her waist, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
His body heated at the feel of her hands rubbing alongside his back. He wanted her closer so he lifted her onto his lap.
"Is this okay?" he murmured, and Sadie released a hum of approval, leaning up towards his lips again.
Jett knew she could feel how excited he was for her, and he didn't want to scare her or think she had to do something, so he pulled away.
He brushed a stray hair out of Sadie's face, taking in her swollen lips with a smile.
"You're an angel," he said. "I don't know how I got so lucky."
Sadie blushed like always, trying her best to ignore his situation as she rested her head on his chest. She was the most comfortable she had ever been. He was so warm and sweet.
"You make me feel so happy. I'm really going to miss you," Sadie said.
Jett grinned, rubbing her back. "You're not going to have time to miss me. I'm going to annoy the crap out of you."
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