Numb.

There was no other word to describe what you were feeling as you lay buried under blankets in your tent. It's around noon and Arthur had been gone since yesterday and the pitying looks from the camp had driven you to hide, no longer could you take the side glances and whispered conversations.

Dutch seemed to have forgotten about the O'Driscolls, the news of your pregnancy seems to have shaken him to the core, he'd spent most of his time since finding out alone by the river. A litter of finished cigars scattered by his feet. Hosea had tried to talk to him, attempting to convince him to help him go in search of Arthur but he'd simply mutter to himself about Arthur making his own decisions.

You sit up and pull your knees to your chest and you begin to contemplate what your next move is. As much as you don't want to entertain the thought of a life without Arthur, you're aware that now there's more than just yourself to consider.

You stroke your belly, wondering when you'll begin to feel the life moving within. "What are we going to do little bean?" Tears begin to well at the silence that follows as you realize you've no idea what you're doing. Tugging the blanket closer around your shoulders you close your eyes and inhale the scent that is Arthur's, hoping it won't fade too quickly.

"YOU GODDAMN BASTARD ARTHUR MORGAN, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Abigail's screams cause you to snap your head up.

"Abigail would you-OW!. Goddammit, woman. OW STOP!

You push yourself from the bed at the sound of his voice and rush out of the tent to the sight of Arthur trying to block Abigail as she swings at him with one of Pearson's pans.

"How dare you run away from her; I'm going to make you wish you were never born!" she aims a particularly forceful swing at his head which he avoids by ducking and covering his head.

"Woman, I said sto- "

"Arthur?"

"Y/N, I-OW Jesus!" he turns and see's you just as the pan connects with his temple.

"Go inside Y/N, I'll get rid of the bastard." She raises the pan again, but John grabs it from her, dragging her back and telling her to quit it.

Arthur straightens as he rubs his temple, his eyes looking bloodshot and tired as they meet yours.

"Y/n" he breathes your name as he slowly crosses over to you, taking your hands in his. "Y/N I- "

"You left." Your voice is small, and you hate the way it quivers.

His hands squeeze yours as his eyes cast down. He genuinely looks like hell, dark circles underline his eyes, probably mirroring yours, and his bruises are turning a deeper shade of purple. The stubble on his face now a few days old and borderline scruffy.

"I'm sorry, I left as I did, I panicked."

"Arthur I'm scared too, I've no idea what to do with a baby, but you can't just run away like that."

His hand leaves yours and reaches up to thumb away a tear sliding down your cheek, his calloused thumb slowly stroking you before reaching into his jacket.

"That's not why I left. I left because I needed to get this."

He pulls out a small pouch as you frown in confusion, watching as he drops gingerly to one knee, you don't miss the small wince as he bends.

"I'm a fool and an idiot but I love you and I want to do right by you. You deserve better than this life, you, and our baby, but if there's one thing I can do, one thing I want to do, marry you. So, Y/N Y/L/N, will you do this old fool the honors and be my wife?

Your mouth goes slack as he slips a beautiful gold ring set with a round sapphire stone from the pouch. His hands hold yours lightly as he waits for your response.

"Arthur I- "

"I know you deserve better than anything I can give you but- "

"Yes."

"-But I'll give you whatever I ca- wait... yes?"

"Yes Arthur, I will marry you."

He surges up and lifts you in his arms, spinning you as he kisses your cheek, his injuries seemingly forgotten in his happiness. A chorus of cheers and whoops begin through the camp and they begin to realize what is happening. Setting you down his hands shakily place the ring on your finger, the smile on his face larger than you've ever seen.

You slide your hands around his neck, matching his smile as you play with the hair at the base of his neck. "Don't ever scare me like that again." You warn before pulling him down into a kiss.

His arms snake around your waist pulling you tighter against him and you feel the tension leave his body as he sighs into the kiss. You can't help as more tears spill down your cheeks, this time at least they fall with happiness. Feeling your tears, Arthur rests his forehead against yours, his hands gently cup your face and wipe away your tears.

"C'mon sweetheart, we have a lot to talk about."

Nodding you let him lead you into your tent as your mind attempts to catch up.

You're both seated on the cot as you twiddle with your new ring, it's dark blue stone shining beautifully on your finger. You had to hand it to him, Arthur had taste, you opted not to ask if he stole it.

"So, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Your gut clenches not expecting him to go that route with the conversation, John had been right all along, Arthur was hurt that you hadn't told him.

"I uh, I dunno. I was scared, you always said this was no life for a child and when you left..."

"...You thought I'd left because of that "he casts his eyes down, shaking his head, "Jesus I'm sorry, I didn't even think."

"Please don't apologize, there's something else you need to know."

His head raises as you take a deep breath and recount the reason you were in town that day, you tell him about John trying to stop you and about telling you about Isaac, he's quiet as he listens, nodding along to show he's listening. When you finish, he's silent as he stares at the floor, his elbows resting on his knees as his hands pick at callouses.

You wait, expecting him to be mad, to yell, but instead, he places a hand on your stomach. You jump slightly at the touch, not expecting it, but you cover his hand with yours, enjoying the warm feel of his large hand.

"I'm gonna get you both out of here, with my last breath I'll protect you both."

Your breath catches at his words, so deep and full of promise, how could you ever doubt him? He pulls you gently to him and pulls you onto his lap, so your knees sit on either side of his thighs. His hands smooth up your back as you tip his hat back to stare into his eyes, their familiar blueish color staring straight into your soul. Your trace his lips with your fingers as he sits still, letting you play with his features.

"You're going to be a wonderful father."

He kisses your thumb as you move your hands to cup his jaw, noting how his eyes flutter closed and his hands tighten on your waist.

"And I'll be proud to call myself Mrs. Morgan."

His eyes fly open to meet yours again, a light growl rumbling from his chest.

"Say that again." He whispers, thumbs rubbing circles on your hips.

"I'll be proud to call myself Mrs. Morgan."

He surges forward capturing your lips with his, the movement so quick you gasp, and he seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hand snaking up to fist in your hair and hold you against his mouth.

Like a man starved of touch, he holds you impossibly tight, pulling you flush to him, so your stomach is flat against his. His tongue dances circles with yours as you grip the lapels of his jacket to ground yourself, his hat falling to the floor as you move with the kiss. You're completely consumed by him, his smell, his thighs thick between your legs, his large hands holding you tight, the burn of his stubble across your face, and the sweet taste of his mouth against yours.

All too soon he pulls away, breathing hard he lifts you effortlessly and lays you on the cot, shaking off his jacket as you sit upon your elbows to watch him. His eyes never leave yours as he peels down his suspenders and begins to unbutton his shirt. Taking the hint, you quickly follow suit, ridding yourself of your clothes and undergarments. A small smile plays on Arthurs's lips as he cocks an eyebrow at your hasty undressing. All too slowly he unbuttons his jeans, sliding them down you note that he isn't wearing anything underneath and it's your time to cock a brow as you watch his manhood spring free, bobbing slightly as he kicks away his jeans.

Arthur is always a sight when he's naked, his muscles hard from a life of work rather than for vanity, his chest lightly scattered with hair that trails down into a perfect line to his thick member. His thighs strong and large from riding, you blush as you remember how he once got you off with his thighs alone, encouraging you to ride them as you coated them in your juices.

Crawling onto the bed like a predator he kisses his way up your calves, his eyes never leaving yours as he works his way closers to where you need him most. His tongue draws a light circle on the inside of your thigh as his hands slowly ease your other open. Watching his every move you're not prepared for the rush of heat as he finally presses his lips to your clit, dropping back onto the bed you sigh in pleasure as he begins to draw slow circles over you with his tongue, drawing the pleasure from your slowly.

"Arthur please." You sigh as you feel the familiar coil in your stomach begin to tighten.

"I'm right here sweetheart." He whispers before resuming his movements, only this time he begins to suck, knowing it will quickly bring you to your peak.

You both know this isn't a time for teasing, it's a conversation. Your bodies whispering promises to each other, welcoming each other together.

Your hands fly to his hair as he pushes you over the edge, your head flying back against the cot as he works you through your orgasm, drawing out every inch of pleasure he can from you. Your mind is blank with the afterglow of please that you barely register him kissing his way up your body, savoring every inch of your skin, and leaving your skin tingling with each kiss.

He pauses as he comes face to face with your stomach, staring intently as if he can see within, closing his eyes Arthur presses a slow lingering kiss to your belly, almost like he's speaking to the child that lies within. Continuing up your body he holds his weight above you on his elbow as he drops his head to kiss you slowly, his overhand guiding himself into you with ease. You both sigh as he pushes past your entrance and into warm heat. The wetness from your orgasm helping him slide through your folds.

Taking a moment for you to adjust, he wraps an arm around your waist, drawing you as close to him as possible, instinctually your legs wrap around him as your fingers sink into his back urging him to move.

Slowly, he draws back before sinking back into you. His pace is slow as he continues to kiss you, his breath hitching into a low moan every now and then. You're both entirely lost in each other, feeling much more than pleasure as his hips rock into yours. You feel his pace begin to stutter as he moans into your mouth, you can't help but sigh his name as he brushes against the spot in you that causes your toes to curl. Feeling you clench around him he draws back from your kiss, resting his forehead to yours as he continues to brush against the spot, urging your end to catch his.

"Sweetheart I love you." He pants as his pleasure begins to peak, his eyes watching your face and he knows you're going over the edge with him.

You can't reply, as your walls begin to flutter around him, his name no more than a prayer on your lips. His hand tightens on your hip, thighs going tight as he spills into you with a grunt.

Coming down from your high you feel him slip from you and collapse on the bed beside you, he wastes no time in drawing you onto him, letting you rest your head on his chest as his arms circle your waist.

"We're going to be okay Mrs. Morgan." He sighs and presses a kiss to your head.

For the first time, you begin to believe it.