《How to Write Stories People Will Love》Question 40: Fixing awkward scenes
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asks: How do you fix awkward scenes? Like, scenes that just don't feel "normal" because they wouldn't be that way if your story was real life. Scenes that anyone on here could point out and say "this was written by an amateur". Am I making sense?
Perfect sense. Scenes can be awkward because they feel unrealistic. There are steps you can take to fix this.
The fact that you recognize a scene as awkward is an important first step. Other readers can help you identify them too. The next thing you need to do is figure out what makes it awkward. Something about the scene makes it not believable. Are the love interests kissing too soon? Is the dialogue too stiff or formal? Are there only mundane things going on? Again, other readers can tell you what they thought was off about the scene.
Once you know why a scene feels off, you can do something about it. If a kissing scene feels too soon, then rewrite it so there's more tension. Instead of the two people rushing into one another's arms, have them hesitate. Maybe they are unsure how the other person feels, or maybe they feel like they're going to botch everything and are afraid to go for it. Find reasons to put off the kiss. Real life is full of doubts and delays.
If the dialogue seems unnatural, try reading it aloud. No one should sound like they are giving a speech (unless they are actually giving a speech, ha!) Think about actual conversations you've had with friends. It's more of a back-and-forth banter than a monologue.
If the scene is awkward simply because it's boring, try cutting it. If it doesn't affect the progress of your story, then it was a good move. Sometimes pacing can fix what feels awkward.
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Wait a week, then reread the scene you just fixed. The delay helps you regain some objectivity on what you just wrote. If you don't want to wait, have other readers read it, and they can help you determine if the scene has been fixed or not. In your mind, compare the scene to how people act in real life, and if it feels authentic, then you've got it!
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