Prep Checklist:

That evening, lying in bed, an exhausted but happy Ashley could not wipe the smile from her face. Her prince would come at any moment! And he would be pleased.

All-day, the castle had been abustle with the preparations for Ashley's Plan of Ultimate Seduction. The cheerful castle staff had meticulously executed each item on the checklist. Having a common goal brought everyone together. And Ashley's genuine appreciation for their help had her team floating on air. (Not literally, except perhaps for one of the seamstresses who was rumored to have some fairy blood.) Everything went smoothly apart from a few titters when she requested a pair of handcuffs from the royal guard and a small mishap when someone dropped a flagon of musk oil inside the unicorn stalls.

At last, night had fallen like a mystery, a silken veil, a promise.

Ashley wore a very sexy feathered corset with lace panties, her exposed limbs caressed by "artfully-rumpled" satin sheets. Her golden locks cascaded over the pillow in eight equidistant lines, like an octopus of blondness. The handcuffs dangled from a bedpost.

A quartet of the kingdom's finest musicians played a constant loop of Bolero** beneath the open windows. A happy side effect of the music meant Ashley could no longer hear the fervent whinnies from the unicorns' nightly "activities."

The chambermaids had lit a hundred candles and spread them over every useable surface of the bedchamber. Each flickering taper staved off a bit of the darkness, till together they bathed the room in romance.

Sure, Ashley's muscles ached from the hours of Pilates, donning and undonning of lingerie, and something horrible called shiatsu, which was more painful than a stepmother's switch. Sure purple bruises had flowered on her pale skin. But she didn't care. For soon, she and Charming would be coiled in an embrace so passionate; even the moon would be jealous.

An hour passed, but Ashley still smiled.

Then another. Ashley smiled but far less broadly.

And another. OK, by now, Ashley's cheeks ached, and the smile was mostly gone.

The music died, and the candles sputtered and guttered as they ate up their length of wick. The wax dripped in spidery threads.

Spiders! Maybe they were the problem.

Perhaps her prince had been attacked by giant spiders on his way home! Or an evil witch had turned him into a frog. Everyone knows wicked witches love doing this kind of thing. Alternatively, he could have been disemboweled by ogres, crisped by dragons, eaten by orcs, led astray by goblins, or afflicted with a nasty case of dysentery.

Let's face it. When it comes to danger, spy novels and murder mysteries have nothing on fairy tale realms where a zillion miserable deaths are possible.

A wave of nausea and fear twisted Ashley's stomach into knots. The logical side of her knew the chances he'd been slain by ill-tempered brutes was minimal. More likely, he'd run into bad weather, or his horse had thrown a shoe. Shivering and alone, Ashley fell into a fitful sleep.

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She dreamt of Prince Charming, nibbling her neck. Ashley sighed with pleasure as he took her lips and kissed her hard, drawing a little blood. But she didn't care. His lips were the center of her universe, and a little spilled blood was no price at all.

"Princess," he whispered in her ear. His breath smelled of grog and campfire.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Charming, you're home!" His arms slid beneath her back, encircling her, pressing her to the mattress. They were so close Ashley couldn't tell whether the pounding heartbeat was his or hers.

"Yes, my love."

Ashley melted into a puddle of honeycomb ice cream at these words. She'd worried for nothing. "Oh, Charming."

"Sorry, I'm late. The enchanted forest had a troll infestation that required immediate action, and Sir Umbert kept needing bathroom breaks. I swear it's the last time I bring that old man questing. But look, I brought peonies, your favorite flowers."

"Oh, thank you, husband. I'm happy you're here safe and in one piece," Ashley said.

"But never mind any of that. I got your ... message." He grinned and pulled her "message" out of his lacy sleeve.

She gulped. "Did you like it?"

"Oh, yes." He brushed the panties across her neck.

Her heart filled to bursting. She hadn't even let herself realize how much she'd longed to be in Charming's arms. To have him kiss her, be hers and hers alone. Her throat was thick with the wanting. "I've missed you so," she said.

The length of his body settled hard and heavy upon hers. The brass buttons of his waistcoat dug into her chest, but Ashley didn't even care, so great was her joy.

He kissed her again, slow and deep. Her toes curled; her fists curled; even her hair curled more than usual. Ashley wrapped her hands around his cravatted neck.

"Likewise, my beauty," he breathed. He jingled the handcuffs. "And what say you about these, my temptress?"

Ashley's cheeks burned. "They are called handcuffs, my lord and master. They are part of my surprise for you."

"I know what they are," he smirked. "And I am surprised. Surprised to find them in our bedchamber."

"I hope it's all right. The handcuffs are in the advanced category, I know, but I wanted ..."

"It's more than all right," he purred. "A welcome surprise."

"You mentioned a surprise for me as well. In your note?"

"Ah, yes. But it can wait till the morrow. I promise you'll love it! But right now, what I want to know is, where is the key to your surprise?"

"On the nightstand."

Moments later, Prince Charming had her cuffed to the headboard. In practice, being restrained wasn't quite as much fun as it sounds in theory. The metal dug into her wrists. "Now, what shall I do to you?" He ran his warm fingertips over her lips, down her throat, and ... eeep ... kept going. She stopped worrying about the cuffs. "So many delights."

"I am pleased that I delight you," she said, silently cheering her efforts. It worked! Ashley could seduce her prince! Which meant he loved her. Desired her.

"My princess," he said. Then he reached down, removed his codpiece, tore off her new panties. He took her mouth in a demanding kiss, then took her.

"Those were new," Ashley couldn't stop herself from saying. The value of those panties could probably feed the whole village for a week. But Charming didn't seem to hear.

A werewolf-like growl spilled from his throat. Then he fell still. It was all so fast, Ashley wasn't sure what happened. From what she'd read, once the prince had his "way," it was all over.

"Boy, I'm exhausted. Fighting dragons and trolls takes it out of a man." He yawned and rolled off of her.

"But you are such a big strong prince. And your royal ... uh ... member is also very ... large," Ashley said. "Charming? Charming?"

The prince's only response was the low rumbling vibration of a not-at-all-charming royal snore. She tried to shake him only to realize she was still handcuffed to the bed. And she needed to use the chamberpot.

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