It hadn't been too long since Childe departed from your group. You were starting to miss the energy that he'd bring to the atmosphere. But as always, all good things must end at some point.

Then it made you wonder; how long would it be until you and Scaramouche were done?

Though you never had a serious relationship before, the novels made them out to be things that are easily breakable. They said that it wouldn't take much to tear two people apart, no matter how strong their love was.

Would you and him end up like that?

After all of the work, all of the planning, all of the changes in course, all of the running and hiding, was it really worth it? You never stopped to think about it before. You feared that the situation would inevitably tear you two apart.

Soon, Scaramouche would come to realize what he did. He'd stop being blinded by this so called "love" and truly start to realize the consequences of quitting his job. Then, he'll become infuriated with you for being the cause to his downfall.

Maybe you shouldn't have been thinking so negative, but you just couldn't help yourself. After everything that happened, it was difficult to keep a positive mindset.

Eventually leaving your thoughts, you snapped back into reality. You'd left Scaramouche to be alone for a while, since he wasn't talking much. It was probably a good thing you did that, otherwise you didn't know what he would do or say. Giving him time to cool off was the best possible course of action.

You started to make your way back to him. You'd set up a small camp so he could rest, and there he was.

But to your surprise, he was asleep. Perhaps he was one of those people who dozed off into slumber whenever they were stressed. You know you had done it multiple times back when you were a full-time adventurer. You never expected him to be that kind of person though. In a different situation, you would've said it was cute, but saying that a time like this felt wrong.

Walking up to the camp, you quietly sat right next to him. Even after all this time, he still looked absolutely beautiful to you, even when he was asleep. You gently brushed a piece of hair out of his face, which surprisingly woke him up. He must not have been in a very deep sleep.

"Oh, I'm sorry.." you began, panicking and praying to the archons that he would be in a good mood.

He sluggishly sat up, causing your faces to be about 2 inches away now. This of course startled you, so you moved back a bit.

You awkwardly cleared your throat, "Sorry to wake you.."

"Don't worry about it. I was having trouble sleeping anyway," Scaramouche said as he sighed. It seemed to you like he wanted to rest, yet he couldn't. Maybe the nerves were finally hitting him hard.

"Should we uh, you know, talk about it?" You vaguely asked, knowing he'd know what you were talking about. Mentioning that day's events was probably not a good idea in your book, but it had to be addressed at some point, so why not now?

Scaramouche nodded, "Right. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I guess it was a 'heat of the moment' kind of thing, so the consequences are just now hitting me."

You knew very well that he never liked to own up to his mistakes or shortcomings, it was just who he was. So him admitting this was a step in the right direction.

"Well what's done is done, no use stressing about it now," you tried to calm the situation, "On the bright side, it ended more peacefully than we expected right? No need to go see the Tsaritsa now!"

Scaramouche quietly chuckled. It's almost as if the life was drained right out of him. He didn't have the energy to make a snarky remark or be aggressive, "It will only get worse. I expect that Signora is on her way to deliver the Tsaritsa the news. And when she catches wind of what happened, I won't hear the end of it."

That's right. While Signora knew, the cryo archon herself wasn't actually aware yet. Meaning, Scaramouche was still technically a Harbinger. What would happen when she finally finds out about him quitting?

"Do you think.. she'll come after you?" You asked him, a bit worried for his safety, even though you knew he could definitely carry his own.

"I'm actually not sure," Scaramouche replied. That was a first. He usually knew the answer to anything you asked, "In all honesty, the only reason she'd send for me would simply be just to punish me. She doesn't actually care about any of us, even harbingers. Her reasoning for coming after me won't be because she wants me to come back, that's for sure."

You never thought about it that way. It was to be expected though. Fatui harbingers were given divine power from the Tsaritsa, not because she cared for them, but because she needed weapons for her own bidding. Those weapons were the harbingers. Maybe it was a good thing that he left. There was no need for him to feel any less human than anyone else.

In an attempt to make progress, you started to think logically, "Is there some place we could go that she won't find us? Any areas the Fatui doesn't patrol?"

Scaramouche just shook his head, "The Fatui are everywhere. If it's on the map, they'll be there at one point or another."

You groaned, leaning back and looking into the sky, that was now starting to grow dark. What could you possibly do now? The longer the two of you sat there, wide open, the faster the Fatui would catch you.

Then, Scaramouche had a sudden thought, "There is.. one place."

Turning your attention towards him, you smiled. There really was hope.

"I'm not saying there's no Fatui there, but they're less prominent there since it's not very easy to travel to." He continued.

"Well? Where is it?"

Scaramouche paused. It's as if this was a last resort. Somewhere he really didn't want to be. But it had to come to this. He took a deep breath, "The only place I could think of is Inazuma."

In complete shock, your eyes widened, "Inazuma..? Is that really safe? Very few people actually get the chance to travel there, I mean, it's closed off, and going by boat is horrendous!" As much as you were shocked, you were mostly excited. You'd always wanted to visit Inazuma. The stories made it sound so beautiful.

"I have a way of getting there, it's just a matter of me saying the word," Scaramouche responded.

He seemed hesitant. You could tell he did not want to return to Inazuma. You wondered why.. yet you didn't want to pry into his personal life. Then again, you were his lover. Knowing his personal life was part of the job, right?

You decided to ask, even if you got shot down, "You.. don't want to return to Inazuma, do you." His reaction told you everything. You were right, "If you don't mind me asking.. why is that?"

Scaramouche didn't even look at you. It was as if he was debating whether to tell you or not. Eventually though, he sighed once again, "I have somewhat of a history there."

"I mean, Inazuma is where you're from, of course you'd have history there," you responded.

He gently shook his head, "Sure, but I meant I just have a few bad memories of that place. I'd rather not return. But.. if it's for not just my safety, but for yours, I'll do it."

Was this really okay..? Scaramouche obviously had something against Inazuma, yet he was willing to flee there for your sake. Honestly, you couldn't just let him do that.

You attempted to reason with him, "You know.. I can tell you don't want to go back, you can say it. I won't judge you or think you're weak, it's normal to steer clear of things that revive bad memories.."

That was indeed your best attempt at trying to be a decent partner. You silently cringed at how cheesy it was, but honestly, it was the truth, no matter how strange it sounded.

Scaramouche looked down at the soft blades of grass moving with the wind. It was getting darker, as well as colder since the sun was setting. He looked like he was holding something back. As if it was something he'd kept to himself for a very long time.

You knew that look. You'd seen it before back when you found out he was a harbinger. So, you braced for yet another truth to his white lies. But this time you were prepared. At least you believed you were.

Scaramouche gazed down, then back up at you. His expression was almost hard to look at, "Are you sure you really want to know?"

He was asking you this in such a soft tone, you almost forgot how he really was. To you, he sounded a bit self conscious, no, very self conscious. You just assumed whatever it was, he didn't like telling people.

"I do," you answered. Although you were quite worried for what was to come after your response, you weren't lying. Even if it was something huge he was about to tell you, you knew you would be calmer than before.

Scaramouche sighed as he fidgeted with his gloves, "I gather that you've already assumed my real name isn't actually Scaramouche, right?"

You nodded, "Well, of course. That's your Fatui name right?" It was true, you knew Scaramouche couldn't be his actual name. It was such a strange birth name for a person to have. But you never brought it up or pried too much into the issue. You assumed he'd tell you his name when he was ready.

"I wasn't... born.. with a name," he started, seemingly hesitating to say the word 'born', "I had to take it upon myself to give myself a name."

How could someone not be born with a name..? You were starting to grow increasingly confused. What in the world was he trying to say?

"So, what is your name then?"

"... Kunikuzushi, though technically it's just something I went by," he confessed.

Kunikuzushi, huh? It was cute, it suited him somehow. Even if you didn't know the name's meaning, you were sure it meant something meaningful to him.

"It's a beautiful name," you smiled at him, trying to reassure him that it was okay and he didn't have to worry.

But it seemed he wasn't content with that. Was that not all..?

Scaramouche, or Kunikuzushi, just smiled and shook his head, "My uhm, birth circumstances.. weren't really normal, you could say." He glanced over at you, perhaps to watch your reaction. After you gave him a confused expression, he sighed as if he was starting to change his mind, "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

While you were a little disappointed that he didn't want to tell you, you completely understood. It seemed like something really personal to him, so you knew better than to pry. Like you'd said before, he would tell you when he was ready. And as of now, he wasn't ready to say the truth, but you were fine with that.

You simply gave him a warm smile, "It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

The man in front of you let out a small laugh that had somewhat of a saddened tone, "What did I ever do to deserve someone like you..?" He mumbled under his breath.

Although he was trying his best to hide it, it was quite obvious that he was in a weak mental state. The only thing you could think of was to simply embrace him. So you did just that.

You inched closer, causing his attention to turn to you, then you gently wrapped your arms around him.

"No matter who you are or where you are from, I'll still love you," you told him.

As if he was waiting to hear those words, he could feel his eyes start to tear up. Perhaps it was exactly what he needed to hear. Of course, he didn't want you to see him in such a state, so he quickly dried his eyes with his hands.

"I love you too, Y/N," he replied.

💀