The streets of East Stave were covered in layers of snow. The chilly morning air lashed at Inej's face as she pulled her scarf tighter around her ears. She had returned from her time at sea. Kaz kept pace with her, a heavy lamb-fur coat draped over his usual black suit and his businessman tie and vest.

They walked hurriedly towards the Crow Club, disappearing inside as soon as they arrived outside, grateful to be out of the cold.

Inej knew today was a hard day for Kaz. His brother, Jordie, had celebrated his birthday on this day. She only knew that because Kaz had trusted her enough to tell her about his life before he had become a heartless boss of the Barrel.

Kaz pulled off his lamb-fur coat and hung it on the coat rack inside the door. He smirked at Inej as she did the same.

His first words to her were, "I'm glad you're back, even if it's just for a little while."

Inej smiled back at him, relishing his familiar raspy voice. "I missed you. A lot."

His coffee-brown eyes brightened. Inej tried to hide her surprise as he murmured, "I missed you, too."

After a few seconds, Inej broke the awkward silence and said, "Why don't we go meet up with Nina, Jesper, and Wylan?"

Kaz nodded, running a hand through his black hair. "They'll be glad to see you."

Nina had returned from Ravka only two weeks ago. Inej had received a letter from Kaz practically begging her to return to Ketterdam and spend time with them during the cold season.

As soon as Kaz and Inej stepped into the private dining room in the back, she was squished in a tight hug. When the three people pulled away, she smiled widely at Wylan, Jesper, and Nina. A part of her wished Matthias could have been a part of the reunion.

Immediately, her friends started bombarding her with questions.

"Did you catch many slavers?" Wylan asked.

"Hit any rough storms?" Jesper questioned.

"Were you hurt at all?" Nina demanded.

Kaz placed a gloved hand on Inej's shoulder. "There will be time for questions in a little bit. Let's let her get settled in."

The three gave Kaz disappointed pouts, blinking up at him through thick eyelashes. Inej couldn't help but burst out laughing. It was as if Kaz had become the dad of the group.

Everybody squished into the booth. Kaz sat beside Inej with Nina on his other side. Wylan sat next to Inej with Jesper beside him.

Inej took the time to answer their previous questions. "I caught a lot of slavers, actually. I even visited Ravka a month ago."

"Did you see our dear friend, Kuwei?" Jesper asked.

Wylan scowled and Inej noticed his leg move under the table and assumed he had kicked Jesper.

"No, I didn't see Kuwei. And I did hit a bad storm last week."

Kaz's eyes glinted. "You did? Were you hurt?"

Inej almost laughed at the way he had gotten so concerned for her safety. "Only a few bruises. Although, I lost one of my crew. He died an honorable death, saving one of the sailing masters."

They all nodded solemnly. "No mourners," Nina whispered, her voice dull and grieving.

"No funerals," The recited quietly.

Jesper continued on after a few seconds with, "Kaz almost got us all killed a few weeks ago."

Nina also looked surprised. "What?"

Kaz shrugged. "It was your average Barrel Brawl. Anika got shot in the shoulder but she'll live."

Though Kaz seemed to be occupying himself with talking about events that had happened in Inej's absence, Inej knew that he was hurting. He seemed distant and his usual snarky remarks were delayed or nonexistent.

The waitress finally arrived, delivering their food. Inej was delighted to finally be able to eat something other than fish and crabs as she quickly ate her pork dinner.

"Kaz, how have you been?" She asked. She glanced at him, watching as his jaw clenched.

"Why do you ask?"

She wished he would remove his gloves so she could hold his hand again. She remembered how his skin had been soft, though his personality was as hard as stone. "You seem distant today."

Inej was pretty sure the rest of the group knew that today was Kaz's brother's birthday. The way they all shifted awkwardly deemed it so.

"You know why, Inej, so why ask?"

"Did you tell them about your brother?" Inej murmured.

Kaz diverted his gaze one of the paintings on the wall. "Yes, I did."

Inej placed her hand on his. Everybody at the table seemed to hold their breath. "He wouldn't have wanted you to be sad."

Kaz shook his head. "I should feel happy that Rollins is gone and I avenged Jordie. But for some reason, I don't."

Inej nodded, pulling her hand away. Secretly, she wished Kaz would open more about his past but Inej knew that that wouldn't be for a while."

Jesper suddenly coughed, interrupting their silent moment. "Should we go to the slat? Or the Van Eck mansion?"

Wylan glowered at him. "I told you not to call it that. It's not the Van Eck mansion, it's my mansion."

Jesper grinned at Wylan. "Whatever you say, merchling."

Inej wondered what it would be like to have someone who loved her the way Jesper loved Wylan. She had watched their relationship grow when they had stayed with Jesper's father and she longed to have a relationship like they did.

During her travels on the sea, Inej had thought of Kaz and the Dregs every day. She envisioned their antics and the trouble they had gotten into while she was away. Part of her wished she was back at him with them, fighting and robbing and sneaking. But another part of her wanted justice for her forced indenture.

Just then, Nina stood and stretched, her light brown hair glinting in the dying candlelight. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. I need some rest."

The crew murmured their goodbyes. Inej noted the way Kaz didn't say anything.

Usually, his coffee eyes were blank. But now, she could see a troubled film covering them. She decided to go with him to his room at the Slat and question him.

Jesper yawned, wrapping an arm around Wylan's shoulders. The young redhead's eyelids were drooping to cover his brilliant blue eyes.

Jesper ruffled Wylan's ginger curls and said, "We should probably get going, right Wy?"

Wylan nodded, his eyes still half closed. Inej watched jealously as Jesper and Wylan walked together out of the Crow Club.

Then, she glanced at Kaz. He was staring at her. He smiled cautiously, his eyes focusing on hers.

Inej reached for his hand, but he pulled back. She swallowed her anger, but then realized he was taking off his cursed leather gloves.

He took her hand in his, his eyes going wide as their skin brushed. Inej smiled. "Kaz, you can tell me about Jordie if you want."

Kaz smiled sadly. "When we arrived in Ketterdam with some kruge and the clothes on our back, he was nothing but reassuring and kind. He bought me good food and nice gifts. Every night, when we couldn't afford a room in an inn, he would give me his jacket and we would curl up together under a bridge. He cared for me and he always tried to do what was best for us. I guess it was his flaw of being too gullible and too ambitious. But he tried. For me."

Inej was intrigued by Kaz's past. He revealed little of it to her. "What else?"

Kaz traced a circle with his thumb on the back of Inej's hand. "We looked just like each other. Everybody used to tell us that."

Inej nodded, listening as he continued. "He worked for Jakob Hertzoon, Pekka Rollins. When Rollins scammed us, he caught the plague and died. They didn't realize I was still alive when they put me on the sickboat with the other corpses."

She paused, horrified at the thought. She could just imagine a younger Kaz with a boy that looked just like him, only a few years ago. A picture burned into her mind. A terrible one. That same young, innocent boy thrown into a boat with decaying flesh and dead bodies. He must have been scared out of his mind.

"Is that why you won't touch anybody without gloves on?"

Kaz nodded hesitantly. "I had to use his body as a float to get myself to shore."

Inej's heart cracked in her chest. She suddenly understood why he was cruel and cold for years. He had lost his brother, had been forced to steal to survive, and had had his childhood ruined. Part of her wondered what he would have been like if Jordie had lived. Would Kaz have been kind and caring? Or would he still have ended up as a restless, mysterious man?

She tentatively reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. He didn't move away. Inej gently traced his high, pointed cheekbones. She admired his handsome jawline and the way his messy hair fell in front of his eyes.

"What about you, Inej? What was your childhood like?"

Inej shifted in the booth, her knee brushing against Kaz's. "I was the bravest walker on the tightropes. I never faltered, I never fell. I imagined walking across air, feeling the wind on my face. I performed with my family, doing tricks and flips and things. My father was always so proud of me when I walked the high wire."

Kaz smiled and Inej slowly dragged her thumb over the corner of his mouth. His lips were smooth, a contrary to the words he usually snapped at people. "I would have been proud of you."

Inej leaned closer. Their faces were mere inches apart. She could feel his warm breath on her cheeks.

Inej could see the fear in Kaz's startlingly beautiful eyes. But she leaned even closer. Their lips brushed together for half a second before she pulled away.

Kaz's eyes were misty as he stared at her. His mouth hung slightly ajar and he said nothing.

He slowly repeated what Inej had done. He placed his hand on her cheek, tracing the contours of her face, the corners of her lips, her eyelids. Then, he kissed her gently, their noses brushing together.

Inej pulled him closer, her hands going to the back of his neck. One of his hands strayed to her waist, the other staying on her cheek. After what seemed like a heartbeat but also an eternity, he pulled back, taking deep breaths.

"Inej, I-"

Inej shook her head, placing a finger to his lips. "Shh, Kaz. Just, go with it. You can't live in fear."

He nodded, his eyes closing. It was one of the few times she had seen him vulnerable. She kind of enjoyed it.

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "You don't know how much of a struggle it was."

Inej pressed her lips to the back of his neck. "What was a struggle?"

"All of it." Kaz's voice was suddenly soft. "Watching you get stabbed by Oomen, living with the fact that you would never care for me the way I cared for you, having you stolen from me by Van Eck. Every day that you were away from me, I feared the worst. I knew the things that he could do. I'm so sorry I got you captured."

Inej ran a soothing hand through his soft locks of black hair. "I told this to Jesper long ago: There are no words for 'I'm sorry' for the Suli. We do not live to apologize for existing. We know that the words 'I'm sorry' make no difference if we do not try to make it better. And you've done that. Do not apologize to me, Kaz Brekker. Promise me you will try to make it better."

When she pulled back, his eyes were glowing a pretty shade of amber. Kaz nodded, pressing his forehead to hers. "I promise you, Inej Ghafa, that I will try no matter what, to keep you safe. I will devote myself to you and I will support your every decision. I will do better- for you."

Inej smiled, the words lighting some old flame in her heart. That same flame that had been there when she had walked the tightropes. When she had captured slavers. When she had done the right thing. "And I will do the same for you, Kaz Brekker."

He smiled. "That isn't my real last name."

"Oh, another lie?" Inej joked quietly.

He nodded. "My name is Kaz Rietveld. I'm from a farm near Liv. I lived with my brother and father."

Inej closed her eyes and rested her head on Kaz's shoulder once more. It was soothing to have someone to care about. It felt just as good to be able to rest on solid ground.

"I should go back to the Slat," Kaz murmured into her braid. "I need some rest."

Inej sighed, wishing she could hold Kaz in her arms for longer, but she knew he needed to sleep.

He reluctantly pulled his arms away from her, tucking his gloves in his coat pocket. When Inej shot him a confused glance, he said, "What?"

She shrugged. "Why aren't you going to put them on?"

He stood from his seat and offered her his hand. "I don't need them tonight."

Inej couldn't help the grin that spread over her face as she gripped Kaz's hand and together they bounded into out into the snow.