1797

The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds...

My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife for a considerable time with his knowing consent.

I had frequent meetings with her...

Own house...

Mr. Zvhal with our children being absent...

Visit to his father...

Nothing could be seen but Everything had dimmed in a way, and everything was blurry from tears. I couldn't move. I remained seated on the couch in our living room. For all I knew, this woman could have sat in the same spot I was currently.

It disgusted me...

I was embarrassed. I was confused. I was hurt.

"Dad..?"

I turned my head and the only thing that wasn't dark stood in front of me. The only person that gave me light at this point in time stood in the doorway, concern lacing his freckled face.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I swallowed and looked down at my lap, shaking my head. I heard footsteps advance towards me, and the weight shifted beside me on the sofa. A hand was placed on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

There was silence for quite a long period of time before I spoke.

"Go into my room and find the box hidden underneath the bed," I said. "Bring it to me, but don't open it." Philip nodded and rose from his seat before leaving the room. I allowed my tears to fall but refused to do anything with my cries but swallow them down painfully. I stared into the crackling fire as it flicked in every direction, heat emitting from it. It was bright, standing out against the darkness of everything else.

Philip returned with the all to familiar box in his arms. He placed it on the table in front of me and I thanked him silently. I stood and turned to face him before pulling him close to me, hugging him tight. He returned the embrace and sighed.

"What happened?" He asked. I only pulled away and shook my head.

"Don't worry about it," I said with a sad smile. I placed one hand on his cheek and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "Why don't you go and fetch some extra wood for me," I turned my gaze to the fire. "We may need some more by tonight." He nodded and turned on his heel to leave. "Oh, and Philip?" The footsteps stopped. With my eyes still on the fire I said, "Bring your siblings with you."

"Of course, dad."

He left.

I stood frozen for a few moments before I turned and picked up the box ever so carefully. I walked towards the fire and sat on the floor in front of it.

"Where are we going?" The voice of my eldest daughter asked.

"To the store," I hear Philip say. "Dad says he'd like us all to go together and pick up some wood for the fire."

"Can we get treats?" My middle son asks.

"Of course, but they have to be small," Philip replies. I hear the door open and then shut.

All eight children have left.

Eight children...

Did they mean nothing to him?

I carefully opened the box, and several stacks of letters are found inside. On the back of each one is written "Garroth Ro'Meave" in neat cursive, a single heart doodled beside each copy of my name. I carefully pulled out one letter and opened the envelope to read it.

I scanned every single line with such detail, searching for answers to all of my questions that flooded through my mind. As I read them, I couldn't help but remember the late nights I always spent reading them. I remembered each and every lecture I received from Vylad about staying up too late...

Word after word I read, but found nothing. I pulled out every single letter but never found a single answer. Eventually I had finished every letter but one, tears were falling hard by now. Hard but silently. I picked up the last letter... The first one I had ever gotten from Laurence. Vylad's words echo in my mind.

"Be careful with that one, love. He will do what it takes to survive."

I carefully folded the letter after reading it, holding it in my lap. I find myself staring into the flames in front of me once again. I glance down at the letter in my hand and back up at the fire. A thought crossed my mind... A thought that sounded appealing. I carefully lifted the letter to the fire, hesitating before allowing the corner of the paper to reach the flames. It lit up and I pulled it back, watching carefully as it spread across the paper, destroying each cursive letter in the process. When it reached a point close to my fingers I tossed it into the fire. Something inside of me ached to burn yet another, so I did.

Another.

Another.

Another.

Another.

Over and over I watched as they went up in flames. One by one I dropped each piece of parchment into the pit. I glanced beside me and realized I had but one left. It was one he had sent to me while I was away with the children, visiting my father. This one hurt most of all... Just knowing the things he was doing at the time he wrote this made me sick. I grabbed the paper and stood from my spot on the floor. Scowling, I tore the letter into shreds and threw every last piece into the flames. Tears streamed down my face still, but I didn't bother to clear them away. I slowly opened my mouth and whispered under my breath...

"I hope that you burn..."

The front door opens. I turned to look at who stood there, and there was Philip. His eyes were flooded with tears and he stated at me with wide eyes. The rest of the children peaked out from behind him. I noticed a paper in his hands, one identical to the one that caused this while mess.

"Dad..." he whispered.

"Please go upstairs," I said, referring to the rest of my children.

"Is daddy okay?" My youngest asks. I smile at him and nod. Pgilip motions for them to go to their rooms, and they do. Once all doors are shut, he rushes towards me and pulls me into an embrace that was tighter than the last. I hug back, burying my face into his shoulder. I finally break, allowing each painful sob that I had been holding back leave my mouth.

"Philip..."

1801

"If I could spare his life..." he started. "If I could trade his life for mine, he'd be standing here right now.. And you would smile..."

"And that would be enough."

Something inside of me breaks...

"I don't pretend to know, the challenges we're facing.. I know theres no replacing what we've lost, and you need time."

Tears slip down my face as I gaze at the ground, everything darker than before.

"But... I'm not afraid. I know who I married... Just let me stay here by your side...

That would be enough."

I swallow back a painful cry and I turn to enter the garden. Footsteps follow behind me as I walk through. I stop in the middle of it all, looking around at all the green that appears gray.

"Gar, do you like it uptown? Its quiet uptown..."

I take a deep shaky breath, but remain silent. Nothing is said for what feels like hours...

I give in..

I slide my fingers between his...

"It's quiet uptown..."

(