《silence; vkook》7.
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One day.
That's how long it took me before I realised that I was going in the wrong direction. I wanted to scream in frustration. I had no idea where I was, just that I was in complete isolation.
The were no animals, no humans, no living souls. I was all alone. I had nobody but myself to blame for that. I had finally found people who cared, found people that I cared about. I was so scared of being alone, that I ran away from everything I had. I made myself this lonely. I put myself through this trauma.
I cried, something that I had been doing much too frequently. My cheeks were still sticky from previous tears. My clothes were sweaty and I smelt like trash. Even the air around me felt clammy and tight, as if the thing allowing me to breath was also trying to suffocate me.
That, along with my never ending thoughts from hell, was slowly killing me. I could feel my sanity slowly being eaten away, my existence gradually becoming more irrelevant. It was painful, fatally painful, but I couldn't fix myself. I didn't have the strength to, and even if I did, I no longer felt any reason to put my broken pieces back together again.
I ran away from my only purpose in life. I ran away from that beautiful boy who brought me so much happiness. I ran away from Taehyung, the boy who I had grown to love.
The fact that I felt that love for him was beyond weird, and extremely questionable. We hadn't ever exchanged words and I didn't even know if he knew my name. It could be presumed that my feelings truly formed due to lust and Taehyung's physical appearance, but I knew that he was different.
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He was undeniably attractive, but that wasn't what made me fall in love. The fact that I could love someone, without having to speak to them, is somewhat beautiful. I fell for him because he made me feel special with just a simple hug. He made me feel relevant when I needed reminding, he made me feel happy when I was glum, he made me hopeful when I had given up. I never expressed my emotions to him, but he knew. And for that, I will be eternally grateful to him.
It was at that moment, just moments before I collapsed, that I realised just how hard I had fallen for Taehyung. And it was at that moment that I felt regret.
Not for loving him, but for leaving him. I know he cared about me, and even though it may not have been the same kind of love I felt, I knew he loved me. Which is why at that moment I realised why I felt guilty.
Because as much as it hurts to leave someone behind, it hurts just as much to be left behind.
And I left Taehyung behind.
I let him go, even when he still wanted me. I caused him pain, causing my own pain. And my reasoning was simply stupid.
I loved him so I let him go.
IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOO
sorry for neglecting this story:(((
ANYWHO, SORRY IT'S SHORT AGAIN WOOPS
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