《Colors ✔》01 | sad blues
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Second time coming to the city and everything still feels unreal. The first time was about a week ago. The tall buildings and huge roads with so many vehicles, the bustling crowd and noise- the city as a whole will take time to grow on me.
However, this visit is different from the last, I won't be going back.
You'll be fine, Venus. Stay strong.
I look outside the window as cars zoom past us. The car I'm in is my uncle's. The boxes beside me, packed with my belongings, is going to be my only friend for now. A four-hour drive from my uncle's home and my legs have already started cramping. I wish we'd taken a break in between. I let out a silent sigh.
Focusing outside, I slightly remember the neighbourhood. We're here.
It's one of the most depressing parts of the city. Amd to be honest, I do not like the place I'm going to live in. The apartments look old and- well, plain depressing.
The fact that I'm going to live alone hits me right then. I've been feeling ecstatic since I heard I would finally get to live by myself but now it sinks in.
I'll be all alone.
Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, who knows?
My uncle parks the car. The gloomy apartment didn't look as gloomy last time. I open the door and get out, finally able to feel my legs again. I stretch my legs and wiggle my toes.
Finally.
My uncle and I carry a box each. That's all I have, not complaining- I'm grateful for it. We walk inside side by side and if that wasn't already very awkward, the elevator ride definitely is.
With a bald head and a potbelly, he doesn't look as cold and rude as he is. It's been ten years living with him and we barely talk. Ten years, and I've still not gotten used to the awkwardness. I don't think I will. Ever.
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For the last four hours, not once have we spoken. Is this what having a dad would be like?
I sigh in relief when the elevator door opens to my floor. We carry the boxes to the door.
"Venus," my uncle calls out in his hard voice, "stay safe and don't do anything we wouldn't approve of," he says sternly, his voice groggy. He hands me the keys and a credit card. My parent's.
Uncle leaves after a small nod. No smile, no goodbye. I have to arrange everything on my own, I thought I'd get a little help.
I've got to stop expecting from others.
The door opens with a creak.
The place isn't that bad except the blinds aren't hanging as they should and the floorboards have come off at some places. The couch is not in the best condition either. The place is in a really bad condition. I feel tears pricking my eyes. I've never been on my own in the seventeen years of my life and out of the blue, I'm living in the worst apartment that exists.
I blink the tears away. Not the time to cry. I can do this.
I mentally make a list of things I need to do. Dusting, rearranging and all. There are two bedrooms, I let the other be and choose the bigger one. The rooms are huge and if only they were in a good condition, it would be a good place to live in.
.
Two hours later, the place looks a lot better.
I change into the only wearable clothes I have- pink top tucked into black high waisted jeans. I put my old sneakers on and take my keys and the only thing left by my parents - the credit card.
A week ago, uncle had showed me around. The grocery store and my school aren't far from my apartment but the mall is an hour walk.
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I decide to take a cab. I need to buy a lot of things. I check my list. Basic stuff for daily use- towels, toiletries, some clothes for school, shoes, accessories and whatnot. After spending so much, I am definitely going to be feeling guilty. The thought about having to find a job makes my stomach churn.
What have I been thrown into?
I get out of the cab once we reach. Taking a deep breath, I try to push all the negative thoughts away and begin shopping.
I can do this.
.
Once I'm finished it is already dark outside.
My arms are aching because of all the shopping bags in my hand. I feel frustrated, that's an understatement. Sweat trickles down my forehead. Atleast this is done, I mumble as I force myself to walk.
Almost home, I remind myself. Almost.
I can't even feel my arms anymore and I know for a fact that they're going to hurt bad tomorrow.
As I walk home, I hum a song to myself to distract myself from what I am feeling.
However, I bump into someone causing all the bags to fly away, including myself. I fall on my butt.
I moan in pain as I stand up, dusting my jeans and looking in front of me. Oh God, did I bump into a walking rod or something?
I freeze.
A guy. A very scary one, if I may add. He is a lot bigger than me. And, his presence is mad intimidating, as if he was the one who fell down. It's dark outside but I can feel his intense stare on me. Me being me, I just stand there looking foolish.
What a great day.
Finally coming back to my senses, I begin picking up the bags. He just looks at me as I pick up all my stuff. If he wasn't going to help, he should've just left. Feeling uncomfortable under his stare, I hurriedly pick everything up.
Not knowing what to say, I am about to walk past him when I hear his voice. "Sorry," he says, his stare still intense, his voice deep and rich. I inhale sharply.
"It's o-okay," I quickly say as I rush to leave from there. I hate that I get nervous so easily. I feel his eyes burning holes on the back of my head as I walk to my apartment.
Once I'm home I flop on the couch. Home, I smile. This is so much better than living with my uncle and aunt. It's difficult but comparatively, much better. Something is bothering me though.
I survived today. The feeling of pride spreads through me and I smile to myself.
I just hope school isn't overly bad.
I put the bags in my bedroom. I freshen up and change into my PJs. I also make myself a simple dinner. Once I return to my bedroom and unpack my new clothes, my heart almost stops.
I search for it here and there but it's nowhere.
Oh no. No no nonono.
No.
I think I left a shopping bag on the sideway. When I had bumped into him I thought I had picked up everything. Turns out I hadn't. I let out a loud groan. It is not just any shopping bag, the ones that had my new undergarments. My panties.
Just great.
I hope the guy didn't see it or it'd be really embarrassing.
And I desperately hope I don't run into him if he did look into it. I laugh at my thoughts. There's no way we'd run into each other in this big city.
I jump into my bed and tuck myself in. I have no reason to stress over this. Closing my eyes, I welcome sleep.
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