Elijah spun around on the ice like he was in his own winter wonderland, laughing with glee as he glanced around at our surroundings. The ice at our feet looked like crystals while the setting sun made everything around us glow. Elijah's smile beamed like he was glowing himself.

"Doesn't this look so cool?" Elijah asked, staring up at the sky.

He looked so content, in a beautiful bliss. I had never seen him so at ease, the tension he usually carried having vanished as soon as he laid eyes on the lake.

Happiness looked good on him, and seeing him like that made butterflies erupt in my stomach. I wanted to see him like this all the time. So beautiful and happy and serene.

"Yeah, it's cool," I agreed, clearing my throat and trying to push my thoughts to the back of my mind.

Elijah turned his gaze to me with an unreadable expression, yet still looked peaceful beyond words. He slowly skated backwards until Alex came up to us with his loud voice.

"One of you race me," Alex commanded, looking as if he was about two seconds away from passing out and needing to be carried back to the hotel. It wasn't about to be me who carried him.

"You look like you're about to fall over," Elijah told him.

"Yet he'd still beat you in a race," I couldn't stop myself from saying. No matter how much I enjoyed to look at Elijah, and no matter how his beauty made me feel inside, I couldn't keep myself from poking fun.

Elijah narrowed his eyes at me, and he still looked as endearing as ever.

"I'm not slow," he said.

"Both of you race me then!" Alex exclaimed.

I was about to deny him before Elijah nodded in agreement and allowed Alex to lead us over to the rest of the group. It felt like I followed Elijah like a lost puppy. And if any of the guys knew what was going on with us, they'd think the same.

We had competed in two races, me being the victor in both of them, even with Elijah trying to pull me down. His laughs as he fell and slid on the ice were enough to send the flutters in my stomach again. I chuckled at him, placing my hand on my chest as I slid over to where he laid on his back, and leaned over him.

"Are you okay?" I asked, not able to stop myself from laughing.

"I would've won," he said which only caused me to laugh harder and offer him my hand.

"Sure you would've," I replied as I pulled him up to his feet.

Once his hand was in mine, it was hard to let go of. I wanted to keep it and keep him warm, but the others were around. I mentally cursed at myself for caring what they thought about us. I wanted to hold onto Elijah's hand and not worry about what anyone had to say about it. It was stupid, really, thinking anyone would judge me for holding hands with him. I let go of him and my hand was icy cold once again.

I smiled slightly at him, his cheeks rosy and his deep breaths clouding above him, and gestured for him to follow me. We skated side by side and I watched him, not able to take my eyes off his face.

The way he looked while we were out here, the calmness, the happiness, the utter joy, made me realize just how much I wanted him. I had known since the start of this, since I kissed him on his birthday, that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from wanting more. And I knew I couldn't ask him to date me in the closet just so I had a better chance at being respected in my hockey career.

The thing about it was that I didn't even know if hockey was what I wanted for a career, or what the odds were that I'd actually make it into the pros. What I did know is that it wouldn't feel half as good making it if I had to hide who I was while I did it. And I would feel happier without having any regrets and without missing out on what I wanted in the present.

I kept my gaze on him as he skated before I stopped him.

"Hey," I said, and he stopped, raising his eyebrows at me.

I let out a heavy breath, a cloud of breath forming between us before quickly disappearing into the air. I skated closer to him, trying to swallow down all my nerves. I was closer to him now than friends should be.

"Would it be bad if I kissed you right now?" I asked, my tone quiet and hushed like I was still scared of someone overhearing us. But I wasn't. At least I thought I wasn't anyway.

Elijah stared at me with a look of shock, his breath catching in his throat.

"Everyone would see," he reminded me, a serious expression on his face. I could appreciate his reminder that if we did this, there was no going back. And after seeing him today, seeing him in front of me right now, I knew I was okay with that.

I nodded. "I know."

Elijah let out a shaky breath, but I forced myself to keep mine even. I didn't want any apprehension to show. I didn't want him convincing me not to do this.

"Would it be bad?" I repeated.

"If you're not ready for it," he replied. "If it would make you hate me."

"It won't," I answered instantly.

There was nothing in this world that would make me hate him, that I was sure of.

"But are you ready for it?

I paused and took a deep breath, looking into Elijah's eyes for any indication that he didn't want this. All I saw was desire.

I nodded. "I am. I want to."

"Then it wouldn't be bad."

That was all he had to say for me to cup his face in my hands. My hands were burning as they held his cheeks. My lips over his started out slow and unsure. The kiss was soft and filled with care as my lips caressed his. I wanted to show him how serious I was, how I felt about him, and how his happiness made me feel. His kiss was heating up my face. It made me feel safe, warm, and cared for.

I pulled away for a moment, looking to see how he was feeling. I searched his eyes again for any indication of wanting to stop, but I didn't see it, so I leaned in and kissed him again.

He kissed me harder this time, showing me his own feelings and making me feel as safe as I wanted him to feel with me. With him, I was blissfully ignorant to our teammates who were most definitely staring at us at this moment. At that point I didn't care. All I cared about was Elijah, his lips on mine, and the way we made each other feel.

We eventually pulled away, my posture rigid as I felt numerous stares on my back. Elijah peeked around my shoulder, a tight lipped smile on his face before he patted my shoulder and looked at me.

"You have to face them," he told me softly.

"I think I'll just stay here," I said. No part of me wanted to turn and see their stairs, their looks of judgement. I had to compose myself and put on my usual demeanor to not only protect myself, but Elijah as well.

"No," Elijah denied.

I sighed, turning around with a glare before I could talk myself out of it. They all looked at me with wide eyes, besides Ian and Josh. I set the hardest glare I could on them and grabbed onto Elijah's hand, partially for my own comfort but also to assure him I wouldn't run from him.

"What?" I snapped at the team, tightening my grip on Elijah's hand. Their initial shock seemed to wear away, and none of them were dumb enough to start talking. Except Alex.

"Uh..." Alex trailed, his eyes stuck on mine and Elijah's hands.

"What Alex?" I snapped again, causing him to flinch and his eyes to fly to my face.

"N-nothing, I'm just—"

"Just what?"

"Surprised?"

I shot him an unamused scowl before sending the same look to the rest of the team. I knew Alex didn't mean anything by it, but I was already in defensive mode and there was no getting me out of it once I was already there.

"We just didn't expect that," Ryan said in an even, calm tone, almost like he kind of did expect it.

"Okay," I replied with a shrug. I still held onto Elijah's hand as I pulled him with me off the ice, wanting to shield him from all the stares. I yelled back to the team that it was time to go back to the hotel for dinner just before stepping off the ice with Elijah beside me.

"Are you okay?" Elijah asked as we pulled our skates off and switched them with our sneakers.

"I'm fine," I assured him, kissing his forehead because now I could without worrying if anyone saw.

Because now that didn't matter. There was a weight that was lifted off my shoulders now that the team knew about us. It was something I didn't have to hide anymore. And something I couldn't let myself be ashamed of.

Elijah grabbed onto my hand once we were both ready to go back to the hotel and the rest of the team followed behind us.

His hand in mine felt natural, like it belonged and I was cruel for waiting so long to take it in mine. As we walked, all I did was hope that I'd be able to see Elijah how he was tonight all the time.

***

"You really need to cut your fucking hair," Ian's rude voice sounded through the room as I lounged back on the couch, my hair a mess on the top of my head. He shoved my feet off the couch and took the spot beside me.

"I know. I have an appointment tomorrow," I said before fixing a teasing smirk on my lips. "But just a trim. Elijah likes to tug on it."

Ian shot me a disgusted look as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm going to be stuck in a car with you two for two hours next week and I do not want to hear anything about that," he said in a sharp tone. "I mean it. I will throw myself out of the car."

I tried not to think about the fact that it was only a week until we would be dropping Ian off at school. I knew it was the best for him to move away as soon as possible, but still, I would miss him.

"No you won't," I replied. "You love us."

Ian's eyes narrowed. "I'm not kidding. I'm not listening to you two flirt the whole way down there, or talk about how he tugs on your hair or your tendency to hook up in cars."

"That was only one—"

"No, it wasn't," Ian cut me off with a knowing look. "Don't act like nobody noticed you two sneak off to the car while we were at the beach last week."

My eyes widened. "We didn't have sex in the car."

We may have done some other things, but it wasn't that.

"Whatever, I don't care," Ian said, sounding as if he didn't believe me. "I just don't want to see it. Or hear it."

"We'll wait until the ride home."

"You better," Ian muttered. "Where even is Elijah?"

"He's out with Trevor," I replied. "He's supposed to be dropping him off and coming here."

Although neither of us would admit it out loud, Elijah and I spent a little too much time together and it had gotten to the point where I missed him even though I had just saw him the night before. We needed time away from each other to spend with our own friends, but it just so happened we had most of the same friends. So while he was out with Trevor, I was anxiously waiting his return.

I checked the time on my phone and noticed that it was past the time Elijah said he would be at my house, and there was no text or call from him telling me he would be late.

"He should actually be here by now..." I trailed, looking down at my phone in confusion before finding his contact and calling him.

It only took a moment for Elijah to answer, him breathing heavily and sounding frustrated.

"Hello?" Elijah answered.

"Where are you?" I asked him, sharing a look with Ian.

"I'm over in the center of town," he said with a sigh. "I got in an accident and—"

"You what?" I cut him off in a sharp tone. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

I stood up from the couch, Ian looking at me in confusion before standing up with me and following me toward the door.

"I'm fine," Elijah said with a heavy sigh. "I'm just waiting for the tow truck at this point."

"You should go to the hospital!" I nearly shouted, leaving through the front door with Ian following closely behind me. "Why didn't you call me?"

"One of the paramedics already looked at me. I'm fine," he repeated and sounded as if he was trying hard not to sound annoyed. "And I didn't call you because I was busy and there's nothing you can do about it and I knew I'd see you eventually."

I snapped my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, letting out a frustrated groan.

"You should have called me. Where are you?"

"You do not need to come here."

It took all my willpower to not scream at him over the phone.

"Fine, don't tell me. You're sharing your location with me anyway," I said before hanging up.

Elijah had started sharing his location with me a couple weeks ago when he went out to some club with the GSA group and was worried about them getting kidnapped. He never stopped sharing it and I never even looked at it until now.

"So what's going on?" Ian asked, sounding slightly amused as he looked over at me, leaning against my car.

I shot him a look of annoyance.

"Elijah got into an accident," I told him. "I'm going to go pick him up."

"He got into a car accident and you were yelling at him over the phone?" Ian asked with an incredulous look. "I'm surprised he hasn't dumped your ass. Seriously."

"Shut up," I snapped, opening the driver's side door. "I wasn't yelling at him. I was just expressing my worry. Loudly."

Ian shook his head, making his way to the passenger's side. "You're such an asshole."

I ignored him as I backed out of the driveway and started my way toward Elijah. It didn't take me long to find him considering the large tow truck on the side of the road with Elijah's car. I pulled up to the curb and hurried over to Elijah who was sitting down on the sidewalk.

He held a napkin up to his lip that I assumed was bleeding and there was a cut on his cheek. Those appeared to be his only injuries. Elijah rolled his eyes when he saw me approaching.

"You didn't need to come here," he said as I sat down beside him and grabbed the napkin from his hand to get a better look at his cut.

I dabbed the napkin on his lip, causing him to flinch away from me.

"You said you were fine," I replied in an accusing tone.

"I am fine."

I shook my head at him, holding the napkin against his bleeding lip while looking at the cut on his face.

"You're bleeding."

"Barely."

"Hey, you're fine, get up," Ian called out, looking down as he stood in front of us.

"See?" Elijah said, holding his hand out for Ian to hoist him up. Ian pulled him up off the sidewalk and the two of them looked down at me with impatient expressions.

"God forbid I worry about you," I muttered, standing up myself. "I'll make sure to never do it again."

"Perfect," Elijah replied, looping his arm through mine.

"How did you even crash?" I asked him, looking back toward his car on the back of the truck. It didn't look too bad, but the front bumper was smashed and bent inward.

Elijah pursed his lips, looking sheepish with a tint in his cheeks.

"I... uh, I was coming up to the red light..." he trailed, sounding embarrassed. "And you know I tend to, like, brake really late."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know."

"So I was braking, kinda close to the guy in front of me, and I sneezed and the next thing I know, I'm hitting the car in front of me."

Ian let out a loud laugh from in front of us, throwing his head back.

"Why didn't you let Trevor drive you?" I demanded, shaking my head. "At least he's more careful."

"He drives like my Grandpa!" Elijah exclaimed.

"And you can't drive at all!" I shot back, Ian still laughing ahead of us. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you crashed into something."

Elijah roughly shoved his elbow into my ribs.

"You get in one accident and people think you can't drive," Elijah said in an exaggerated tone.

"I've always known you're a bad driver," I pointed out, rubbing where he hit my ribs and then grabbing his hand into mine.

Elijah grumbled something under his breath that I couldn't hear.

And all I could do was laugh and plant a kiss on his cheek, grateful his mishap hadn't gotten him seriously hurt.

***

Alex was already close to being drunk before the party even started.

Ryan had suggested having a going away party for Ian as soon as we found out he was moving to school in the middle of the summer. Everyone else was on board but I was reluctant. Part of me tried to convince myself that it was just because I thought it was stupid, but the other part knew that it just made Ian leaving all too real. And I didn't want to admit that I was going to miss him, though Elijah had already called me out on that.

I sat alone on the couch while the others set everything up. The party wasn't going to be huge. It was just between our group of friends, but Ryan wanted to make it a surprise for Ian.

As I sat alone, staring off into space, Elijah plopped down next to me and pulled my arm around him.

"I know you're sad," he said. "But try to be a little happy when Ian gets here."

"I'm not sad," I denied, and Elijah shot me a knowing look. He always knew when I was lying.

"Then I'd hate to see how you look when you're actually sad," he replied.

"I just think this whole thing is stupid," I muttered with a huff, crossing my arms over his chest. "It's just an excuse to get drunk, not to say bye to Ian."

"That's not true," Elijah denied, shaking his head before a look of contemplation landed on his face. "Well, maybe it's a little true, but it doesn't have to be that way for you. Or me."

I just made a grumbling sound that caused Elijah to squeeze further into my side.

"You don't have to admit you're going to miss him to me," Elijah continued. "But you should tell him that. He's your best friend."

I scoffed. "We don't say that shit to each other."

"So you're just going to mope around and be all broody?"

"You like when I'm broody."

"I've never said that."

"You don't have to," I told him, a slow grin sprouting on my lips, my first real smile of the day. "I can tell."

Elijah squinted at me before resting his head on my shoulder. I pulled him closer, securing my arm around him and watched as Ryan and Josh tried to get Alex off the table he was standing on and Jude and Liam were fiddling with Ryan's speaker. Everyone was too preoccupied to realize that Ian had made his way into Ryan's basement, standing at the bottom of the stairs with a confused yet annoyed look on his face.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" he asked, stepping closer to the couch and catching everyone's attention.

"You're not supposed to be here yet!" Ryan exclaimed. "Who was in charge of keeping tabs on Ian?"

"Alex," Josh said with a glare fixed on the boy on the table.

"Why would we trust Alex with something like that?" Ryan asked in frustration. "Well, surprise I guess."

"I'm still not understanding what the surprise is," Ian responded, sitting next to Elijah on the couch.

"It's a going away party!" Alex yelled, jumping down from the table and stumbling a bit as he swayed over to where Ian sat and took the spot beside him.

He sat uncomfortably close to Ian, much to Ian's dismay. Ian had a frown on his face as Alex cozied up to his side and threw an arm around him.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Alex said, looking like he was about to cry and he hugged Ian to his side.