Practice was brutal, but it seemed like that was always going to be the case.

When Coach Silva and Merton decided to end it, they brought us to center ice to tell us who we would be rooming with once we got to the hotel. Of course, I was stuck with Fox, Ian, and Josh.

The hotel was just five minutes away from the rink and everyone excitedly ran up to their rooms, probably happy to be away from adult supervision for a few hours. I lazily followed behind Fox, Ian, and Josh into the elevator and then down the hall on the third floor to our room.

Fox opened our door and the four of us went in, Josh and Ian running to fight for the bed by the window.

"I called it on the bus, Josh," Ian snapped, lying back on the bed and shoving Josh away with his foot.

"You know I need to be near the window," Josh complained. "Can we share?"

My eyes widened at his words and I quickly shook my head, though nobody was looking at me. My words were lodged in my throat and I was stuck in a panic.

"You're sharing with your brother," Fox cut in, dropping his bag next to the bed by the window. I silently thanked him and let out a breath of relief as I sat down on the bed that Josh and I would be sharing.

If I had to share a bed with Fox, I would have ended up on the floor.

Josh let out a long sigh before sitting down on the bed beside me and throwing himself back so he was lying down. I took two pillows on the bed and set up a barrier in the middle, similar to what Ian was doing on his bed. It was such a straight guy thing to do, but it was a force of habit I gained from my old team.

After setting up our barrier and taking my shoes off, I lied back on the bed. When my head hit the pillow, I crossed my hands on my stomach and began to doze off.

"Are you seriously going to sleep again?" I heard Josh ask me. I could feel that he was leaning over the pillow barrier, disregarding it's purpose.

"That's what I'm about to do," Ian said.

"You already slept on the bus this morning," Josh told me, completely ignoring Ian.

"Wake me up when we need to go," I replied, keeping my eyes closed.

Josh didn't reply and soon a comfortable slumber consumed me.

Later on, I woke up to Josh and Fox talking. I rolled over on the bed, hoping to get some more rest before the game. Fox laughed at something Josh said and the sound was like a melody.

He was always so serious, but when he let himself calm down for a moment, I realized the true him was softer than he wanted to let on. His laugh was smooth and melodic. It reminded me of honey, sweet and something that would stick with you. Even if I never heard it again, I would remember that sound.

I sat up in bed, stretching my arms above my head and let out a long yawn, my jaw aching from being open so wide.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Josh sarcastically remarked.

"What time is it?" I rasped, feeling around the bed for my phone and not finding it.

"Almost four. We need to go catch an early dinner soon. Coach doesn't want us eating too close to game time."

Instead of answering him, I got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. After I was done in there, Fox and Josh had woken up Ian and the three of them seemed as if they were ready to head down to the lobby to meet the team for our meal.

When we met up with the rest of the team, we got a table with Ryan, Jude, Alex, and Liam who were all rooming with each other. Ryan looked around the room, as if making sure no one was around to hear us, before motioning for us to lean in at the table so he could tell us something.

"We're going to the pool tonight after the coaches go to bed," Ryan excitedly whispered, looking around at all of us to see our reactions.

"Yes!" Alex nearly shouted, but he was shushed by Jude.

"Are we really supposed to do that?" I asked quietly, giving Ryan and confused look.

"It's tradition, Ellis," Ryan told me in an amused tone.

"Silva and Merton are dead asleep by like ten o'clock the latest," Jude informed me with a chuckle.

"So you do this whenever you're at a hotel?" I asked to no one in particular.

Ryan nodded. "We usually have another dinner after the game and then the coaches pretty much leave us alone."

"Even grumpy gills over there comes with us," Alex joked, pointing his finger toward Fox who just scowled and flipped him off.

While I wasn't too keen on hanging around with Fox and his friends after hockey, I was slightly intrigued by their plan of going to the pool later on.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

***

After winning the game 3-1, the team headed back to the hotel. Fox, Ian, Josh and I made our way up to our room to get changed and go down to our late dinner with the team. Since I didn't shower at the locker rooms, I opted to shower at the hotel before dinner.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" Josh asked as I stood in the doorway of the bathroom.

I shook my head. "No, I'll meet you down there."

And with that, Josh nodded and I shut the door to the bathroom so I could take my shower. I didn't take long, just washing up a bit with soap. When I got out, I got dressed and quickly towel dried my hair.

After stepping out of the bathroom, I noticed Fox was sitting outside on the balcony attached to our room. Before I could stop myself, I was walking to the balcony and stepping outside, sliding the door shut behind me.

"Aren't you coming to dinner?" I asked after a few moments of silence. Fox didn't even acknowledge me when I walked onto the balcony.

"No."

I sat down in the chair beside him, giving him a confused look.

"You can leave now," he spat, sending me a malicious glare.

"I still don't understand why you have such a huge problem with me," I shot back, my voice matching his.

Fox was the one person on this team I could truly relate to and it bothered me that the two of us were at odds. He seemed too closed off to have much of a connection with anyone. He was a flame, intent on burning me if I got too close.

"I don't have a problem with you."

I scoffed at his words and shook my head, staring out at the view in front of us. The town was lit up, the lights of homes resembling the stars in the sky. If only I could wish on these stars.

"That's bullshit," I said in a throaty tone, my voice coming out raspier than I intended.

Fox didn't answer, his silence telling me all I needed to know. Instead of sitting out here in silence with someone who would rather cut his tongue out than speak to me, I stood up and reached out to pull the patio door open. Only when I tugged on the handle, it wouldn't budge. I forcefully pulled the handle again and again, but it still wouldn't open.

"Uh... Fox?" I trailed, my voice panicked as my stomach fell to my feet.

"What?" he snapped, whipping his head toward me.

"The door won't open."

Fox immediately shot up from his seat and shoved me away from the door to pull on it himself. The door still wouldn't budge, even with Fox tearing at it like his life depended on it. Maybe it did. I was sure I was the last person on earth he wanted to be stuck out here with.

"Call Josh," Fox demanded as he pulled on the door again.

I patted my pockets for my phone and my eyes widened when I realized it wasn't there. I stepped closer to the sliding door and looked inside to see my cell phone comfortably sitting on the nightstand beside my bed.

"Um, can you call Josh?" I timidly asked.

"My phone is inside charging. Just call him."

I let out a heavy sigh and pulled my hand down my face in frustration.

"My phone is inside," I apprehensively admitted.

Fox slowly turned toward me, his gaze dark and his eyes wide in panic. His skin paled slightly as he looked at me and realized I was being dead serious.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he seethed, his hands going up to his head and pulling on his hair. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't come out here!"

"Don't blame this on me," I argued. "How was I supposed to know the door wouldn't open?"

"You shouldn't have even come out here," Fox replied argumentatively.

"Yeah, then you'd be stuck out here by yourself."

"I'd rather be stuck out here alone than with you," Fox spat before returning to his seat and crossing his arms over his chest, pulling his jacket closer to his body.

"That makes it sound like you have a problem with me," I retorted sardonically, reclaiming my seat beside him.

Fox didn't answer me verbally, but I could feel the heat from his scowl singe my skin from where he sat.

I didn't want to admit to myself that I needed Fox, but I couldn't help but feel like I did. In a place where I felt like I didn't belong, he was my only sense of familiarity. He was the only guy on the team I could relate to and if I ever wanted to feel like I belonged here, I needed his approval. No matter how painful it was to admit it, even only to myself.

"You know I would never out you, right?" I asked him with a serious expression on my face. "Like no matter how you treat me, I won't do it."

His gaze softened slightly, but he was still guarded as if he didn't believe I was being sincere. It was the first time I truly saw the walls he had built up around him. I would never describe Fox as afraid, but his look told me he was wary of continuing this conversation with me.

"Do you regret it?" Fox asked in a soft tone.

"Regret what?"

"Coming out," he answered. "You've had to take a ton of shit for it."

I pondered on the thought for a moment. Obviously, coming out caused a great deal of complications in my life. I was cast out from my home, from my team, and from my friends. However, I wasn't any happier with myself before coming out than I was now. I hated hiding who I was. It was like the real me was watching my life from the sidelines, eagerly waiting to get a turn but never getting the chance. It gave me a feeling of emptiness, like I was living somebody else's life and no my own.

"No," I finally answered him, shaking my head while looking out at the city.

"Seriously?" he wondered in a light tone, tilting his head to the side with a troubled look on his face. Although he was questioning me, it didn't feel as though he was judging, just stunned as if he couldn't imagine how I was actually okay with how my life had been going.

I stretched my legs out and crossed my right ankle over my left before turning to glance at Fox who was already looking at me. Part of me didn't want to get into my feelings with him, but I still wanted him to accept me.

"I mean, it sucks sometimes, having everyone know," I admitted, clearing my throat. "But it was tiring hiding that part of me. I couldn't do it anymore. Even if it meant losing everything, it was worth it."

The icy wind blew, causing goosebumps to form on my arms. The cold temperature seemed to match the mood of this conversation, formal and stiff without any comfort. My hands snaked up my arms to rub them, trying to produce some warmth. A movement from Fox caught my attention as he stood up and took his jacket off, revealing his sweatshirt underneath, and threw it at me.

"Thanks," I said as I stuck my arms in the jacket and zipped it up. Fox was slightly larger than me, but the jacket fit fine.

"I'm sorry for what I said the other day," Fox suddenly apologized after sitting back down in his chair. "I know you don't have it easy."

"It's alright," I assured him with a timid smile.

"And I'm sorry for treating you like shit since you got here," Fox added with a sigh. The look on his face and the sound of his voice didn't match his apologies, but I had a feeling that was only because he wasn't used to apologizing.

"What's with the change of heart?" I teased, trying to mask the slight discomfort I felt.

"I don't know," he replied. "Maybe I just realized that you have enough shit to deal with without me making it any worse. I'm supposed to be the captain and that means looking out for all of you."

A genuine smile broke out on my face. The wind blew again, but with the protection of Fox's jacket, my body didn't feel the icy cold.

"Does this mean we can be friends?" I asked him teasingly, though I wasn't kidding.

Fox scoffed. "Friends?"

I nodded, looking at him to answer me.

"I'll think about it," he responded, causing me to shoot him an agitated look.

The two of us sat in silence for a few moments before I threw my head back and groaned. I didn't know how long the two of us had been out there, but it felt like an eternity.

"I'm going to die of boredom," I whined, looking up at the sky. It was too cloudy to see any stars, so I averted my gaze back to the city lights.

"We've been out here for forty-five minutes, tops," Fox informed me with a judgmental look. "You're impatient."

I nodded in agreement. "I am. We need to do something."

Fox looked at me like I was crazy. "Like what?"

"Would you rather..."

"No," Fox immediately cut me off. "I'm not playing any games with you."

"Come on," I pleaded in a whining tone. "Aren't you bored?"

Fox teasingly smirked. "I was enjoying the silence."

I let out a huff and crossed my arms over my chest in annoyance, also trying to protect my hands from the cold. I heard Fox let out a sigh and say something under his breath.

"Okay, would you rather..." he stopped to think for a moment, "fight off one hundred duck sized horses or one horse sized duck?"

I threw my head back and laughed loudly. "What kind of question is that?"

"An important one."

"Probably the duck sized horses. I'm scared of birds," I admitted through my chuckles.

"Why the hell are you scared of birds?" he asked in a judgmental tone as if my fear was absolutely absurd.

"They just scare me," I told him with a shrug. "Would you rather have a head the size of a grapefruit or the size of a watermelon?" Fox's eyebrows shot up slightly with a wry expression on his face.

"Watermelon," he answered after a few moments.

"Why?"

"Some watermelons are normal head sized," Fox reasoned.

"If you say so."

Fox glared. "Some are."

"Okay," I said, still sounding unconvinced.

Fox rolled his eyes. "You're annoying."

Before I could answer him, the sound of the slider door opening grabbed our attention. The two of us shot up from our seats and turned to see Josh standing in the doorway with a puzzled expression.

"What are you guys doing out here?" he asked.

"Don't close that door!" I exclaimed, making my way over to him and pushing passed him to get inside, Fox following behind me.

Our actions only caused Josh to look even more confused.

"Don't go out there and shut the door because it won't open," Fox warned him, grabbing his phone from the bed side table.

Josh's eyes widened. "You guys were stuck out there?"

"No, we just decided it would be fun to sit out in the cold for over an hour," Fox sarcastically replied.

I took off Fox's jacket and threw it down on his bed, Josh looking at me with concern.

"And you guys are... alright?" Josh questioned, looking at me rather than Fox.

I shrugged. "We're fine."

"Sorry I didn't come sooner. I just assumed maybe you fell asleep again," Josh said, looking guilty.

I just nodded, letting him know I wasn't angry with him.

"A bunch of the guys are already down at the pool," Josh told us as he rummaged through his bag, presumably to look for his bathing suit. Fox was lying down on his bed, holding his phone over his face.

"I think I'm just going to go to sleep," I replied, sitting down on the bed.

"No, it's tradition. You're coming. Both of you," Josh demanded, looking at me then over at Fox with a stern expression.

I never knew Josh to be so pushy.

"I don't have a bathing suit," I argued.

"I brought two because I knew you wouldn't bring one," Josh retorted, pulling swim trunks out of his bag and tossing them to me.

How was I supposed to know to bring a bathing suit?

Josh went into the bathroom after telling me to get changed. And soon enough we were all headed to the pool.

**