Brent and I got along really well. I was wildly attracted to him but I hadn't even considered the possibility of an exclusive relationship with him. The truth is, my feelings for him surprised the hell outta me! I mean... I had identified as a lesbian for over a decade! Now, I'm gonna change my mind?

Its funny, ya know how every parent always hopes their kid is going through a phase? Well, I'm pretty sure that's about as rare as an honest person in politics! I was pretty certain that whatever this was, didn't mean I'd gone straight! But there I was... waitin' for my man to come home! HaHaha! Go figure! It's a little embarrassing, just writing it! Still... he was very nice. It felt very nice. Weird... But nice.

There was this one thing though, that I knew I needed to talk to him about. It had to do with Chris. Yes, that Chris! ('for those of you with a short memory, think: Fetish. Think: Searching for the sleaziest motel and "So... what did YOU do this weekend?" Now you remember?)

As I was saying... After wishing and hoping she and I would find our way back to each other, it seemed that finally, after three years, we were heading in that direction! She lived about two hours away from me but we had been spending time together again. And it was good! I wasn't willing to give up on that now! So that's what I told him. He said,

"Jesse, the day I ask you not to see anybody else, it wont just be about her, but ANY other man or woman. Because that will be the day I put a ring on your finger and ask you to marry me. Until that day comes, you can do what you like."

You see? What a nice guy!

Chris was living in Palm Desert just outside of Palm Springs. I had plans to go spend the day with her when I got a phone call from a production company saying "they'd gotten my resume and could I come for an interview?" I set it up for the next day and got ready to leave for Palm Desert. Brent heard me on the phone and, knowing how much I struggle with punctuality and how important this interview was to me, suggested that we go get a room in hollywood that night.

"That way you can have a relaxing night and get good sleep before your interview. No stress! Then tomorrow, wake up and you're already there!"

I thought that was so thoughtful of him. It was! And terribly sweet and... God! What a great guy!

What I didn't know - what I was clearly oblivious to - was that this was a "romantic gesture" at its core. He was, well... He was loving me and trying to show me.

Yeah... I missed that part. Soooo...

I went to Chris' house and was running late as usual. I ended up in traffic hell for close to four hours! By the time I got there, I was exhausted and hungry and irritated! The last thing I wanted was to get back in my car and drive ANYWHERE! So I called up the studio and resceduled my interview for later in the week. Then I called Brent and told him I wouldn't be going to Hollywood after all and was staying the night at Chris' house. His response was,

"You're fired! Pick up your check!"

I laughed. That was pretty cute. And then I told him I'd see him tomorrow and hung up. I had hurt him. I was clueless.

The next day when I got home I went to see him. He said it again.

"You're fired! Pick up your check!"

He didn't look at me. He just went on with whatever he was doing. Okay... It wasn't as funny OR as cute now! Slowly... I started getting the vibe he was sending me... Hmmm...

"Oh shit," I thought.

So I tried to joke around about it. I kissed his face all over. I said I was sorry a bunch of times. I tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal.

"Aw c'mon! I'll make it up to you. I promise. Let's get a room tonight. We can get that one that has a jaccuzzi in the room. That'll be nice... C'mon... Brent? That'll be fun, right?"

Finally he said okay. But he wasn't ok...

We went to the motel. We were together for the last time. In the morning he said he had to give his buddy a ride and would be back soon. He kissed me on the forehead as I nodded, half asleep.

When I woke up it was close to checkout time. Brent hadn't returned. I called him but he didn't answer. He had left me there, with my overnight case and no way to get home.

Looking back, it seems so obvious... I had hurt his feelings a lot more than a few kisses and a jacuzzi room were going to fix. We were never intimate again.

He was right though... I was pregnant!