You know, it's funny but it never occurred to me that I might be a lesbian! I didn't even like girls that much! Boys were much more fun to play with! I guess it didn't cross my mind because I was busy playing sex games with Tommy.

One particular night, the four of us were at Tommy's drinking, watching porn, drinking some more. Sarina and I were having fun teasing our boys. Then for some reason, without any premeditation, we got up and said, "See ya boys!" and left!

My parents were out of town so I'm sure we both figured we would get home, let the guys think we were leaving them high and dry and then tell them to come on over... but we didn't! We were drunk. We were turned on. But we didn't!

I need to backtrack just a little here. I can't even fathom how it came about but at some point after learning of Steph and Kerri's relationship, Sarina and I, well... expanded our friendship a bit. We kissed. French kissed! Every night when we went to bed, we would kiss each other before going to sleep! I know, weird right? But we did! And we told each other that it wasn't because we were gay! No! We were just really affectionate people and we loved each other so we'd just included kissing as one more way to show that we loved each other! Looking back, it seems so strange to me that we were able to justify it like that but, what can I tell you... we did!

So... that night we left the guys home, we went to bed without inviting them. We cuddled up, kissed, and then... instead of turning over and going to sleep... we just kept going! I mean we did EVERYTHING that night! And, in the morning when I woke up -

I could not BELIEVE what I had done! I was disgusted with myself and grossed out when I thought of what we had done! (Not the direction you were expecting this was going, is it?) It's true! We didn't talk about it! About a week later, we were driving somewhere together and looking straight ahead I said "Man! I was so drunk last Friday! Were you?"

She said, "Yeah... me too!

I said "Do you remember anything after leaving Tommy's?"

She said, "Nope!" "Do you?"

"Nope!" I said.

Both of us still staring straight ahead...

We never brought it up again!

That summer I went to be a counselor at a summer camp and she went to stay with her mom in Las Vegas. During that time, she slept with her mom's best friend AND her husband! I found a woman at camp who was just as affectionate as me and - even though we weren't gay - we kissed and cuddled all summer long!

When summer ended, Sarina and I told each other what we'd done and somehow that cleared the way for us because we were "together" after that! BUT...We weren't GAY!! Oh no! We still had boyfriends. We weren't attracted to women! Just each other!! And, for a while, I believed that!