《Looping, oh the fun! (Naruto)》Ch13 'Yaoi'
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WARNING: This chapter has mentions of gays and yaoi. I did not write it to offend anyone, so I hope no one is offended. Also, if you're not comfortable with yaoi, don't worry. It's not real yaoi.
-Konoha, on a sunny day, rooftop-
Three people were boring their eyes into one man, making him sweat with anxiety.
It's my first time teaching! Please don't make it so hard for me!
"Ahem...well, how about we introduce ourselves first?" Kakashi suggested, hoping this can break the ice.
"Why don't you go first?" Sakura glared.
Kakashi gulped. The girl looked murderous. Seems like he couldn't use his 'creative' introduction now, for his own safety. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like to read. I don't like when my precious books are taken away. My hobby is to read. And my dream is to marry a kind woman and live a good life." There! Now she would think I'm a smart, artistic man who does not have any association with perverts or hentai and thus she wouldn't get mad at me and possibly end my life before I can find my sperms a safe home!
Unfortunately, Sakura wasn't paying attention to what he's saying, because her mind was still on poor Hachiko.
"Now's your turn, Pinkie."
Sakura glared at him, and began. "I'm Haruno Sakura. I like Nakamura Tenzoi-" Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a curious glance, but no one saw it. "-Hachiko-" Sakura glared at Naruto, who grinned weakly. "-and the Konoha Times. I don't like the evil girl-" Naruto and Sasuke raised a brow. Could she mean- "-and anything spicy. My hobby is reading. And my dream is to be able to meet Nakamura Tenzoi in person for once."
Great. A Sasuke-fan no more, but now a Tenzoi-fan? But at least we know that our alias Nakamura Tenzoi had gained one fan.
"That's...unexpected." Kakashi uttered in disbelief. He's pretty sure the profile said the girl was a huge fangirl. How come she didn't blush in the Uchiha's presence? "You're next, Uchiha."
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke and I like Naruto." Three sets of eyes widened. Naruto stared at him in utter disbelief. "I hate the villagers who are mean to Naruto. My hobby is to train with Naruto. And my dream is to be able to protect Naruto's first kiss until I'm ready (because only he's stupid enough to lose it to some stranger)."
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Kakashi and Sakura were staring at him as if they were seeing him for the first time...wait. That wasn't a good description. Let's try this: They were staring at him as if he had just turned into a girl... Yeah, that's a better one.
Kakashi: Nononononoooo I knew I should never take a team! Not only did I get a evil pinkie but I also get a gay boy!
Sakura: Sasuke-kun...is gay? ...Well that's none of my business since I have no interest in him anymore. But...Sasuke and Naruto...? *blush*
Naruto: What the hell is Sasuke thinking!? Why did he say it as if we are...um... But he never does things without a reason, so he must be planning something. I guess I'll go along with him then.
"Oh don't worry I won't lose my first kiss before you do." Naruto smirked and shared a knowing glance with Sasuke, as if they knew something no one else knows, which confused the other two present. "I guess it's my turn huh? Well, you all know me, I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen and Sasuke." Yet again, Kakashi and Sakura gaped at them. "I don't like fangirls. My hobby is exploring life. And my dream is to protect Sasuke's kiss until I'm ready."
Alright, something must be going on between them, thought Sakura and Kakashi.
"Ok! So far for the introductions. Tomorrow we'll start our duties as shinobi. First, we'll be having a survival training."
"Training? We have had enough training in the academy. We don't need more," Sakura wondered out loud.
"This isn't normal training. This time, I'm your opponent. And..." Kakashi smirked. "Of the 27 graduates, only 9 will be chosen to become a genin. The rest will be send back to the academy. This training is a very difficult exam with a failure rate of over 66%!" TADDA!
Sakura dropped her jaws, Sasuke and Naruto...looked bored.
"Why aren't you two surprised?" Kakashi voiced his mind.
"Why should we be? I know the exam may be hard, but not to us. If we're fighting you, then we'll win for sure, especially now that there're three of us against one of you," Naruto said.
Good. It seems that he had caught onto the teamwork aspect of this exam. But where did he gain the rest of his confidence from?
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"Besides, I had been pranking the ANBU since I was born, and I had never failed to outran them!" Naruto smiled. Oh the good memories... "And we all know Sasuke is strong, and Sakura isn't weak either. So why should we be worried?"
"...Good point." Kakashi couldn't help but agree. He had seen with his own eyes how fast Naruto was at escaping after his pranks. "But I'm different from them. You may not know, but I was an ANBU commander before I decided to take my first genin team. So don't think so high of yourself."
Naruto and Sasuke still didn't look surprised. Sakura, however, looked curious at the new information.
"...Anyway, tomorrow you'll have to show your real skills on the training gorund. Bring all the shinobi tools you have." Kakashi stepped away from the railings- "Oh...and I suggest you to skip breakfast, you might throw up." -and shunshin-ed away.
Before anyone could say anything, Sakura spoke up, a little shyly, "n-neh, N-naruto, Sasuke-kun, a-are you two...dating?"
"Pffffttt!" Naruto would've spitted if he was drinking any liquid. "Of course n-"
"Yeah we are," Sasuke lied. Ignoring Naruto's murderous glare, he continued. "Saying the truth, I have always liked him, but to protect my crush from the jealousy of my fangirls, I didn't make my feelings known. But now that we have graduated, and I happened to be on the same team as he is, I can protect him whenever and wherever. So I confessed to him yesterday, and he agreed. You would keep our relationship a secret would you?" Sasuke asked, grabbing a strong hold on the arm that's threatening to punch him.
"O-of course!" Sakura exclaimed.
"Good." Sasuke smiled and shunshin-ed away with Naruto.
Above them lying prone to the rooftop of a higher building, Kakashi almost dropped his book in surprise.
Great. Just great. One problem (fangirl) solved, now another problem raised. What should I do with your son...sensei?
In the Uchiha compound, a red-faced Naruto was seen yelling at Sasuke.
"Is embarrassing me that funny to you!? Why do you have to tell them that?! We're not dating and we will never be! So keep your feelings to yourself!"
Sasuke spluttered, "don't tell me you actually believed that!" Naruto's incredulous expression told him the answer. Sasuke sighed. "You idiot. It was a lie for gods' sake!"
"A lie?" Naruto choked out.
"Yeah, I mean, since we are almost 24/7 together, it's hard to explain our relationship without making them suspicious and spilling the beans. So I thought of a way. If we are dating, then we'll have a reason to be together 24/7. If, for example, after we finish a mission, we tell them that the two of us are leaving together. Knowing our relationship, they'd just assume we're off to...snog...or something. They wouldn't suspect us of betraying Konoha and making dangerous jutsus and such."
It took a moment for Naruto to accept Sasuke's reasoning. "Fine. I guess I'll accept that. Especially since Ibiki is now very suspicious of me. If I acted abnormal and stayed with you 24/7 (even if they have seen from my faked memories that we have always been like this), he'd think we're up to something." Suddenly, Naruto slapped his forehead. "That reminds me!"
After Kakashi had left his office, Sarutobi leaned back in his comfortable chair and sighed.
Naruto and Sasuke. What a big surprise.
Just how many surprises is Naruto going to bring him?
Sarutobi eyed his crystal ball with an evil thought running through his mind.
Maybe...he can use it to see what the two are doing? I mean...guy/guy isn't that different from guy/girl...
Sarutobi started snickering madly with a trail of blood running down his nose.
His ANBU all edged away from him slowly... Their Hokage was in creepy pervert mode again...
That night, after dismissing all his ANBU, Sarutobi rubbed his hands together gleefully, and began channeling chakra into the crystal ball.
Just then-
KABOOM!
The exploding tag that was placed underneath the crystal ball ignited and almost burned Sarutobi's beard.
Sarutobi cursed.
"These two little brats knew I was gonna do this!"
Well, too bad. It seemed that Naruto and Sasuke knew him too well.
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