"I'm sorry son, if you're still injured by tomorrow then you can't play. You know the rules. Meet with the physical trainer today at the field house and we'll speak with him once he's done with his evaluation then we'll talk."

I groaned internally, knowing damn well what the physical trainer's evaluation would be.

"Yes coach."

"It's one game, not the end of the world."

"Maybe for other players, not for me. I only have a few more chances after this to get it right and get a shot at the NFL."

"Yeah well, alls you need is one shot. See you at the medical office later today."

"Thank you coach."

I huffed in frustration and slammed my phone down on the bed beside me, wishing I was still able to sleep in my nice King sized bed, instead of being reduced to a small full sized in my new 'room' if you could even call it that.

While the princess was at school, I had gone to the hardware store with Reed and had decided to use my rent money to buy the tools and French doors for the office as well as any furnishings that were needed to make it into an actual room.

It was half past two when we were finally finished with everything, and it just felt like a small, suffocating dorm room to me.

I needed to get my room back.

She was constantly on my mind and even though I wanted to tell myself it was because I was just wanting to play her so I could get my space back, I knew it was something more than that.

I could've made her life a living hell back at home and make her go running back to her parents, but instead I gave her kind words and encouraged her.

A spiraling in my unconscious mind began as I replayed our interactions over and over again, but I stopped them before they could ever begin. I wouldn't give another female that much power over my life and my emotions ever again, especially a female that looked like Lydia...that girl could kill me if I gave in and I wouldn't even mind it.

I needed a plan to get my room back, that was my only interest in her. Even as I thought it, I knew I was lying to myself.

Lydia arrived home in a huff and locked herself in her room so since that particular little plan would be on hold for the night I grabbed my things and escaped to my division one campus that was only a few miles further away than the school Lydia, Reed and Lucas all attended.

Walking onto campus was always surreal. The turned heads and longing glances from the majority of the female students was enough to inflate my ego, but it was the fist bumps and hearty congratulations from the guys that let me know how much of a good job I really was doing out on the field.

I needed to be in the NFL. I had to, it was my dream ever since I was seven years old when my dad first taught me the game.

It was always his dream to play professionally, too, but his dream got transferred over to me when I was old enough to play and I promised him on his death bed that I would carry out that dream for him no matter what.

So, walking into that physical trainer's office that day, I put my thoughts on hold and only focused on not grimacing in obvious pain when the doctor twisted my leg this way and that way, poking and prodding at my muscles in excruciating torture but I couldn't let that be known.

"And you're sure this doesn't hurt?"

He straightened my leg out immediately and I just raised my eyebrows as if to say, 'is that all you got' and he fell for it hook, line and sinker.

I guessed it was a good thing I was a pretty good liar.

"Alright, you're good to go for tonight, but take it easy. Don't take unnecessary risks. I'll let coach Anderson know."

Suddenly, the air in the field house didn't reek of sweat and turf. The world wasn't dark and out to get me. In that moment, I had finally got my second chance that I'd been waiting for for so long, and I wasn't about to fuck it up.

What in the world was I thinking? How could I go to school the next day with nothing to wear? It was like I was terrified of traveling across town to pick up the things essential for my daily life, but the thought of seeing Nate, possibly with Layla once again, was so damaging to my waking mind that it was damn near impossible to think about.

"Hey, did you want a ride over to...Nate's apartment?"

Lucas could sense my internal battle before I could even vocalize it, something that he always did even when we were kids.

I threw my head in my hands at the counter and noticed something was off about the dynamics of our little group.

There was Reed, his head in a book and wearing a ridiculously expensive lounge shirt in a deep blue that favored his dark skin. He came from a more than humble upbringing and could afford everyone's rent in the house three times over but still chose to live here with Lucas, presumably because of the falling out with his parents as he'd come out as gay to them much sooner than he had to the rest of the world.

They didn't cut him off, but they didn't want him living with them, either, and I assumed he wanted to be in the company of others instead of out on his own.

Then there was Lucas, goofing off in usual fashion watching annoyingly loud videos on his phone and dancing absentmindedly to the songs that blared back at him periodically.

My brother was nerdy, and so was Reed but I could relate. My job was about as nerdy as one could get.

I was a copywriter- basically, someone who writes witty advertisements and descriptions for products.

I didn't have to go in to an office and it was more than convenient when someone would commission me for a piece for ten thousand dollars for just a week of work.

I would only have to do one or two pieces a month and easily made bank.

That's what Nate loves so much about my job, as I paid most of the bills and bought all the groceries and always paid when we went out on dates or out to dinner.

It was only looking back in retrospect that I realized I was just being used, over and over by him in an obvious fashion but I was too in love with him, or rather, the idea of being in a safe and happy relationship, that I chose to ignore it and all the red flags that came along with him.

I knew he could be controlling, but I let it go too far. I didn't want to admit even to myself just how far...

The truth was that I had detached myself from him emotionally a long time ago. It wasn't even him that I was mourning over, it was our life that we'd created together.

I felt like a failure when our relationship was the real culprit. If I was being honest with myself, I didn't even really know who Nate was, but I didn't want to have that conversation with myself then.

"I think I can just go to the store and buy all new things. That's a thing right? Or he can mail me my stuff?"

Lucas locked his phone and Reed put his book down.

"You have to face him sooner or later."

"Later."

"Lydia. We'll even go with you."

Then I realized what was missing, or rather, who.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, feigning nonchalance, even though a nagging in my gut told me I was a little too interested in his whereabouts. I told that nagging to shut up.

"He called a while ago and said he had to get warmed up for his game tonight, his physical trainer cleared him to play tonight."

"Oh. Good for him," I said, although there was a selfish part of me that wished he were there.

"So? We doing this or what?"

"Ugh. Fine. Shotgun though."

"Dammit!"

I smiled at our childishness as Reed whined about not getting the front seat and drove the familiar path back to my old home.

As the towering trees whizzed by in agonizingly identical patterns, my heart began performing double dutch in my chest, the nervousness of seeing Nate and Layla again something that was not lost on me.

We pulled up to the complex and Nate's car was nowhere to be found, but there was Layla's annoyingly compact car in my spot, where I had parked my own car every day and night for the past year and a half.

Seemed like she'd parked herself a few places where she'd never been invited.

We were on the ground floor so I didn't have time to climb the stairs to distract my racing mind, the sweat slick on my palms and my toes tingling in my sandals.

I felt the strong urge to vomit but repressed it as best I could while sliding my key into the lock.

There she was, back to the front door wearing my apron, spatula in hand with her red hair twisted into a top knot on her head looking like a housewife slaving away cooking for her awaiting husband.

"Hey babe, I'm cooking your spaghetti, your favorite. I figured we could eat, and then-"

She stopped herself as she turned, taking in the sight of all three of us staring at her like she was the spawn of satan.

"What do you think you're doing here?"

I raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"In case you've forgotten, this used to be my apartment too, less than a week ago. I came to get my stuff, but it seems like you've just made yourself at home."

She sneered at me in disdain, an evil twinkling in her eyes.

"Oh honey, most of your stuff was donated the day you ran away. If there's anything left, it's in the back of my closet."

"You did WHAT?!"

Seeing red, I lunged forward but Lucas grabbed my arm.

"Lydia, calm down. She's probably lying. There's no way they've had time to donate everything. Let's go get your stuff."

Steeling myself for a look into our old bedroom, I noticed all of our couple pictures from photoshoots past had been either stripped from the frames or were turned face down on the entertainment center and end tables.

I picked one up which featured a smiling Nate holding up our old dog that had passed away the year before.

I tore it out of the frame, ripped Nate out of the picture and kept the other half with Buddy on the other side. No use hurting the memory of my favorite dog in this detox.

Pocketing the small picture, I braced myself for the entrance into our old bedroom.

Same bedspread that I'd purchased off our wedding registry ahead of time just because I loved it so much.

Same wall decor I'd found at the craft store and put up myself because Nate was too busy playing video games in the living room and I had wanted our room to look nice while he couldn't have cared less. He said we'd be the only ones seeing the room so why bother making it look nice.

"We're gonna need some boxes. I bought pretty much everything in this place, and when I'm done there won't be anything left."

"Atta girl."

It was going to be a long night, and I dared Nate to try and stop me.