By the time Richard emerged from his dressing room some 45 minutes later, we had all consumed several more drinks and were laughing as we watched arm wrestling competitions going on between Till and everyone else. Those of the crew members who's jobs had been completed for the night were joining us too, and three other tables had been dragged along the grass to make us one big group. I was sitting between Paul and Schneider, who had traded places with David so that he could challenge Till. Why anyone thought they could beat him in any match of strength was beyond me, but it was entertaining to watch. They were having a conversation in German over my head, which I didn't mind at all, as I found the language soothing to listen to. Schneider had produced a set of drumsticks from somewhere, and was rattling them on the table in front of us absent-mindedly.

It was a warm night, especially with the fires that had been lit nearby, and I stood up, intending to walk around for a while to stop myself falling asleep. Emily stood up to join me, and we made our excuses to our companions and assured them that we would be back soon. Richard watched us leaving and gave me a smile, before returning to his conversation with the person next to him.

Emily and I wandered to the closest toilets and took advantage of the fact that they were much cleaner and usable than the ones in the arena and the campsites. I looked in the small mirror inside the stall and groaned as I saw the state of my hair. The foam that had ended up in it during the concert had acted as a sort of mousse effect and had left some parts stiff and sticky. I ran a brush through it as much as I could and put it back up into a ponytail. It seemed like too long away that we would be able to get home and have a proper shower. When I stepped out of the stall Emily was waiting for me, and as I washed my hands she told me that Jay had sent her a message asking us to join them for their after party. I pulled my phone out to check the time, knowing that the backstage area closed at 2:30am, by which point all of the bands, crew and everyone else had to be out and back to their hotels or camping areas. It was only 1am, but I wasn't much in the mood for the boisterousness that I had heard was a staple part of any Bullet party.

"Why don't you see if Billy or David want to go too? I'll stay with Rammstein until they leave, then go back to the campsite." I suggested. She shrugged and we wandered back to where we had left the others. What had started as arm wrestling appeared to have escalated into some form of full body wresting, as Paul was currently being hopelessly outmatched in the grass by Ollie. He may be slender, but he was bloody strong!

Flake has disappeared, along with a large number of the crew members. I went and sat beside Paul, who had been released by Ollie and was being teased good naturedly by Schneider and Richard. Till was also notable absent.

"Where's Till and Flake?" I asked, locating my abandoned cup and refilling it from an almost empty pitcher.

"Flake went somewhere quiet to call his wife." Schneider explained. "And Till, I'm not sure. He often likes to be alone."

"Oh." I nodded.

"Where are your friends going?" Richard asked, pointing with his cigarette at their retreating backs.

"Emily got invited to have a drink with Bullet for my Valentine." I grinned. "They are to her what you guys are to me. I guess the boys trust you lot enough not to do away with me, since they left me alone with you!" I laughed as Paul grabbed me in a gentle choke hold and mimed stabbing me in the chest.

We spent the next hour or so chatting, drinking and laughing at Paul's goofballing. At some point I ended up sitting on the grass with Richard behind me, his back against a fence and his legs spread out, and I took the opportunity to lean back against him once more. He was remarkable good at smoking and drinking around me, as well as gesticulating with his hands while explaining a funny story involving Paul and airport security. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was being shaken gently awake by Richard, and only he and I were left.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, stretching and standing up. Richard followed me up, looking as if it caused him some discomfort, and I felt a bit guilty since I had been all but sitting on him, he has been stuck in the same position for ages.

"They've taken the bus back to the hotel." He explained. "I'll get you safely back to the campsite, then call the driver to come back for me."

"You should have woken me sooner, and gone with them! I could've got back to the campsite myself..." I objected, but it was no use. We started following the exit signs to the beginning of the arena, then made our way around the race track to the campsite. "Won't you be recognised?" I worried, as we came close to a few groups of people who were still socialising despite the late hour.

"I doubt it." He replied. "People would expect to see me in stage gear, not this." He indicated what he was wearing: dark jeans and a light blue hoodie, with Converse trainers, and a black beanie hat to cover his hair. I accepted his point: unless you knew it was him, it was unlikely you would look twice. As we reached the main camping grounds and left the lights , it became harder to see where we were going. If I looked up I could see the collection of flags that we had put up as a marker for our tents, but if I was looking up it meant I wasn't looking at my feet, which soon resulted in my boot catching on a guyrope of a tent, almost sending me sprawling forwards into some poor persons sleeping area. I would have fallen if it hadn't been for Richard catching me at the last second - none too gracefully, I might add, since he caught the back of my t-shirt and pulled me backwards, so I almost landed on my behind in the other direction! Giggling to ourselves while trying to get me back on my feet, he grabbed my hands and pulled me up, so I was facing towards him instead of in the direction I was supposed to be walking in.

Semi-aware of what I was doing, I took a step closer to him so I had to look up to see his face, and even in the darkness I could see that he was watching me intently. Slowly but confidently he put one hand around my waist and pulled me against him, his other hand moving up to cup my jaw as he bent his head forward gently touching his lips to mine. When I didn't pull away, he became more confident and put more force into the kiss, my arms finding their way up his back and grasping his hoodie, the alcohol I had consumed and the anonymity of the darkness making me more confident than I would ever have thought possible. All too soon we were pulling apart, he had a small smile on his face and kissed my forehead before turning me around and letting me lead the way to the tents, keeping a hold of my hand as he went. Maybe to keep me from falling again, maybe not, but it gave me a giddy, almost adolescent feeling that as much as I knew I shouldn't be feeling, I embraced it.

We reached the campsite a few minutes later, thankfully managing to avoid falling over again to find that most people were still up and about. Billy, David and Emily had returned before me, and were sitting looking a little worse for wear, gathered in a corner away from the main group, talking quietly amongst themselves. I decided to bite the bullet and joined the main group of my friends, pulling Richard along with me to a couple of vacant chairs and sitting down, grabbing beers for us from the chillbox we used as storage. A couple of people were staring openly at Richard, who was calmly taking it all in his stride, waiting for me to take action.

"Hey guys," I said simply. "I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Richard." He was still holding my hand, but raised the other in a wave that encompassed everyone. A few people offered a "hello" and their names, and he nodded politely at each of them, and gradually conversations started to open up again. I guessed I would be in for some serious questioning the next day, as most of them definitely knew who he was. While we sat and chatted, Richard was very attentive, holding my hand or touching my arm. Eventually though, it got to the stage where the day's events caught up with me, and I was so sleepy that I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Come on." Richard said softly, tugging on my hand then pulling me up. He got me to point out which tent was the one I shared with Emily, and walked me towards it, practically holding me up. I climbed in, and he followed me. I could only imagine what thoughts and comments were going around outside at that moment, but I really couldn't care less. I kicked off my shoes and undid my belt, and quickly decided that my makeup and hair could wait until the morning to be dealt with. I suddenly became aware that Richard and I were alone in a somewhat private place for the first time since we had met. Something similar must have passed through his mind, since he turned to me at that moment and kissed me again, more forcefully than before but still gentle. I melted backwards onto the pair of sleeping bags and piles of blankets that served as our beds, and he hovered over me, supporting himself with his hands and lower arms. I reached up and held the back of his neck, letting my hands run through the hair on the back of his head, thick yet impossibly soft without all the styling products that were usually in it. He moaned quietly into my mouth and ran his hands up my back, under my tshirt. Jesus Christ. I thought to myself. I'm making out with Richard fucking Kruspe in a tent at Download. The improbability of the situation made it all the more appealing, and I surrendered my mind to follow the impulses that my body directed me to.

When we came up for air, Richard had been divested of his hoody and belt, and myself of my tshirt. He looked at me, and almost like a realisation, the lust in his eyes was replaced by an uncertainty, and he rolled onto his side, breathing heavily still. I shifted so I was facing him and looked at him, my hand tracing shapes from his hipbone up his side, causing him to shiver involuntarily. He grinned and caught my hand, kissing the palm before placing it on his chest, over his heart so I could feel it racing.

"We...shouldn't do this." He said almost inaudibly, as if he couldn't believe it himself. Then reality hit me like a truck.

"You don't want to?" I asked, rolling onto my back, trying not to let the hurt I felt seep out into my words, cursing myself internally for letting myself get caught up in the situation.

"Oh, believe me, I want to." He insisted, retrieving my hand which I had pulled away and lacing his fingers through mine. "It's just...complicated." He finished weakly.

"Complicated how?" I asked, curious despite myself. I rolled back onto my side so I was facing him again, supporting my head with my hand, leaning up on my elbow.

He sighed. "I don't know how much you know about me and my...personal life." His eyes flickered to mine then away again, shifting nervously as he spoke. "We try to keep it out of the media and off the internet but...it doesn't always work. Anyway," he continued. "I have a young daughter. And my relationship with her mother is...also complicated." I looked at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. When he didn't, I ventured:

"So, you're telling me you have a girlfriend?"

There was a pause. "Yes and no." He admitted sheepishly. "It is a volatile relationship, more off than on. We were trying to make it work for the sake of our child, to make a proper go of it but...as soon as I met you, I knew that anything she and I were trying to achieve was false." He looked at me again, his green-grey eyes searching mine for some understanding. "I want to be with you." He shocked me by admitting. "But I don't want you to start as the other woman. Would you...could you give me time to break things off cleanly? Of course I would understand if you hated me for this and never wanted to see me again..." He tailed off, obviously having run out of things to say. I thought for a moment. No, I definitely wouldn't like to be the other woman. But I did genuinely have feelings for him. Not just for the sexy, confident rock star that was his one persona, but also the quieter, more humble and more real Richard that was behind the facade. The choice he had given me showed just how decent a guy he was. So many guys especially in his position, would take the opportunity to sleep with anyone they wanted to, regardless of the consequences. But here he was, giving me control of the situation. I had decided: I wouldn't sleep with him - as much as I wanted to - and I would wait for him to sort out what he needed to.

"Okay." I finally answered.

"Okay...?" He sounded unsure, even as a slow smile started to creep onto his face.

"I mean, I'll give you time to break things off. I won't wait forever, but take long enough that you salvage as much as you can, for your daughters sake."

"Thank you." He pulled me into a back breakingly strong hug. "This means a lot to me, that you would do this." I wriggled out of his arms and motioned for him to lie on his back. When he did, I tucked myself into the space between his arm and his body, and pulled some blankets over us. I reached up and kissed his jaw, smiling when he returned the gesture with a kiss to my forehead. He pulled his phone from his pocket awkwardly, as he seemed to be reluctant to remove his arm from around me. He unlocked it and made a brief call in German. When I looked questioningly at him, he explained that he had spoken to his manager to let him know that he wouldn't be returning to the hotel that night. He returned his phone to his pocket and pulled me closer to him, stroking my hair gently as my head rested on his chest. Within no time at all, I fell asleep.

******

Sky x