"Hey." I say as Beckett opens his front door, my hands behind my back as I seesaw on my toes. He smirks so beautifully as his arm stretches across the doorframe, his v-neck shirt fitting him perfectly.

"Hi..." He drags as his eyes scan me over like I did him, I wasn't a fan of black clothes but I wasn't at the stage of wearing pink around him, around anyone for that matter, so that's what I was wearing. A black shirt with black jeans. Boring. "Well are you going to come in?"

I smile before walking into the house, he shuts the door behind me but I don't look back as I search the house a little.

"Who's home today?" I question with obvious excitement as I feel him gaining on me a bit.

"It's just us." He replies lowly making me smile widely as I turn around quickly before jumping into his arms.

My lips immediately find his as he hums in delight making me smile against him, his hands grip my ass firmly making me moan slightly as my member pulses with need. He bites my lip telling me exactly what he wanted, I open my mouth letting him immediately explore my mouth thoroughly. He pulls back only to press light kisses all over my face making me giggle as he walks us to his room, my arms wrapped around his neck loosely with my legs around his waist. He lies me down before crawling on top of me making my heart race as I look up at him, I swear to Goddess just the sight of him made me drip.

"You're late." Beckett whispers as he continues to press kisses down my neck, making me arch my back as I claw at his broad back a little.

"It's hard to sneak out of my pack and into yours." I groan as I slide my leg against his while he sucks on my collarbone slightly making me moan loudly. "I could a-always go through the checkpoint."

"It'll get suspicious." He mumbles as he makes his way up my jaw. "We're running out of excuses, sneaking in is the last option." He says pressing a final kiss to the tip of my nose.

"But wh-"

"Emitt." He drags as he sits up a little so he could see me directly. "We've talked about this."

"I know, but we could spend more time together if I didn't have to use a whole roundabout method to get in here." I reply pouting a little as he runs his fingers through my hair, his eyes still on me.

"It's the best solution." He says bring my hand up before kissing my knuckles. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not." I say truthfully, "I'm just happy to spend time with you."

His eyes glow slightly as he kisses me aggressively, I kiss him back happily as he presses his lips against mine harshly making every fiber in my body come to life.

"I'll go get some snacks, wait here." He says when we part before rushing out the room. I smile to myself as I flop down onto the large mattress that smelt of Beckett completely, an intoxicating mixture of cinnamon and white roses.

Beckett and I have been like this for about two weeks now and it's been the best two weeks of my entire life. Agreeing to keep this a secret, we've been meeting each other whenever we can away from the eyes of everyone we knew, except Mickey of course. I still couldn't believe Beckett liked me, at least I think he does, why else would you make out with another guy. I was too scared of asking and destroying everything and way too chicken to even think about confessing to him, so we continued this routine of shared affection that made my insides swirl.

Goddess, he was so fucking hot, he made my entire body go haywire whenever he entered the room. And those lips that fit perfectly with mine, they made my mind go blank and my member stand. Of course I wanted to fuck him but I had to remind myself constantly, he was straight and probably experimenting so all I could do is just enjoy my time as a lab rat, however short that may be.

"What are you thinking about?" Beckett asks as he walks into the room before chucking me a bag of Doritos.

"Nothing." I mumble as he slides onto the bed, draping his arm around my shoulder as if the action wasn't making me hyperventilate. "What movie are we watching today?"

"Deadpool." He exclaims with excitement while I groan a little. "Don't tell me you don't like Deadpool."

"I don't mind it but gore isn't my thing really." I confess shrugging slightly as his face distorts into horror. "I don't like messy murders."

"How do you kill then? Ya know, as a werewolf." He says sarcastically making me frown a little.

"Quick, clean deaths. I don't like to get my hands dirty."

That has to be the gayest thing you've ever said - Chris mumbles making me growl internally.

He was such an asshole but he was also a shy introvert of a wolf that I didn't know what to do with him.

"But..but.."

"What? Because I don't tear people's throats out I can't kill." I question raising an eyebrow.

"I never said that, just...you're a beta and..."

"And?"

"I don't know. Forget I said anything." He says all at once, going to pull me closer but I push back a bit.

"Let me tell you now, just because I'm short and small and don't kill like a psychopath, doesn't mean I can't take you down before you can even blink." I say refraining myself from snapping my fingers. Beckett lets out a chuckle that he didn't know just afforded him his life.

"Let's not be dramatic." He says making me sit up in surprise. "I don't doubt your strength, but you can't take me on." He finishes crossing his arms making Chris ooo in the background like the instigator he was.

"I can annihilate you." I say slowly making him laugh again.

Strike two motherfucker.

"Emitt, come on." He huffs with open arms.

Oh, I'm about to destroy you.

"Backyard, now." I say sliding off the bed and leaving my unopened back of Doritos. He stays put as he watches me as if I was mad, I jog on the spot as I start stretching my arms a bit. "Come on or are you scared?"

"Emitt..."

"Don't back out now. Not when I'm about to fuck you up and not in the good way." I say before twisting on my heels and leaving him room, jogging down the stairs. Once I'm outside, I stretch a bit more as Beckett walks out in all his glory, hands into his pocket with his muscles bursting out of his shirt.

NOT NOW PENIS!!

"Come on." I say getting in my stance, dancing on my toes slightly as I watch him through my blocked arms.

"This is ridiculous." He groans looking away for a split second, I run up to him before launching my leg into his stomach sending him rolling onto the floor.

"Ughhh..." Beckett groans as he clenches his stomach, rolling onto his side. "What the fuck is your foot made out of? Cement?!"

"Get up." I demand getting in position again.

"I don't want to hurt you." He says warning as he stands up again, the comment makes my eye twitch as I launch at him once again. I run at him before twisting around his body before he could react, wrapping my arm around his neck, I push back on his spine making me smile and I choke him out a bit. I let him go when his forehead turns a little purple, he lands face first into the floor gasping for air only sucking in leaves. as he lies on the groan helplessly.

"Oh sorry, did I hurt you?" I question feigning being genuine as I circle his beautiful body.

"What.... the fuck ......are you?" He says gasping in between words as I circle him continuously.

"A small beta." I reply smiling to myself as I watch him struggle to stand. I run at him when I see an opportunity but he catches me sending us both to the ground as we roll around in the fallen leaves. I settle on top, lifting my fist to punch him but he stops me as he grabs onto my wrists leaving us both panting breathlessly. I stare down at him as I try to catch my breath, stuck in the same position as he holds me still, his arm sliding around my waist as he pulls me into him.

"I underestimated you." He admits as he looks at me, his forest green eyes piercing into me as my heart beats faster for him. "For that, I'm sorry."

"Once you've learnt your lesson." I reply smiling at the awe that filled his eyes. "You have learnt your lesson, haven't you?"

"I don't know, maybe your methods weren't the best for me." He whispers, his hand gripping my ass as he pushes me into him. "I think you should try new ones."

"I may have some up my sleeve." I mumble my lips brushing his teasingly as I rest my arms onto his shoulders while a smile creeps its way onto my lips. "If you're willing to try...."

"Always." He confirms before taking my lips into his. I hum in delight as he grinds us together while I bite his bottom lip, he opens his mouth partially as I immediately intrude it with my tongue that makes him moan slightly. I let my fingers slide into his hair, twirling them with his silky hair while he dominates the kiss making my member harden slightly.

He rolls us over before sliding his arms underneath my knees bringing my legs up exposing my erection to my tight jeans. I break the kiss, moaning loudly as he grinds himself against me. I was scared that he'd back off in situations like this, where he might be freaked out by another guy's erection, but if anything he seemed to enjoy it. He continues to press kisses down my neck, keeping the fast past movements as he drags me closer and closer to the edge.

"B-Beckett.." I stutter, moaning way too loudly that I bite my lip to silence myself.

"Don't you dare." He growls as I peak down at him to see his piercing eyes studying me as he sucked on my collarbone. "I want to hear everything."

He doesn't leave room for discussion as he bites down on my skin making a high pitch squeal of excitement leave my lips. My face immediately taking a reddened color from the moans that followed as he continued to attack me mercilessly.

"Mhhmmm." I moan biting my lip tightly as I feel myself getting dragged to the edge. "B-Beckett..I'm gonna...I'm g-"

"Beckett!" A voice shouts from inside the house making both of us freeze, eyes wide open as we lay there in a more than questionable position.

It was his uncle, I knew his scent by now I just hope he didn't know mine, all my stuff was inside.

"What the fuck is he doing here?!" I whisper shout at Beckett as we scramble to our feet.

"I don't know. He always comes late at night." He whispers back as the man continues to roam around the house, yet to realize we were outside. "You need to go."

"All my stuff is in there." I say gesturing to the house.

"And so is my uncle! Who doesn't know that I'm 'more than friendly' with another guy from your pack!" He says harshly.

I didn't really have a right to be hurt, but I was a bit disappointed that he said more than friendly instead of what I wanted to hear. Of course he wouldn't say that it was me that he liked, that's if he even liked me.

"Okay. Fine." I say a bit harsher than I meant to before shifting and taking off into the woods. I wasn't angry at him, at least I don't think I am. He didn't do anything wrong really did he, we both mutually agreed to hide our relationship so why on earth was my heart breaking because of it.

------

"I'm home." I say tripping over the thousand pairs of shoes that crowded the entrance of our home, all belonging to Lucy. The voices of my arguing parents fill the entire house completely drowning my own, I make my way to them slowly as I put things scattered around away at the same time.

"Hey." I say walking into their room, theirs voices dying out when they hear me.

"Emitt!" My mom says feigning excitement as a smile stretches across my father's face. She pulls me into one of her bear hugs that literally squeeze the life out of you, I groan as I try to hug her back but fail miserably.

"Hey mom." I manage once she lets go, my dad immediately draping his arm around her once she'd let go of me.

"Were you out with Aiden?" My dad asks as they lead me out of their room and into the kitchen.

"No, I have other friends you know." I mumble when I reach the cupboard for some cereal that my mom immediately puts back before directing me to the food she'd cooked.

"We know." My mom says with a weak smile. "But you being with Aiden, our next alpha, could be the only reasonable excuse I could think of for why you would miss your own training session."

My mouth hangs low as Chris disappears in fear as we realize what we had done. Having a training session that you were leading was like getting a MTV award, not that amazing but still sorta cool, especially if you were ranked high for it. I have always wanted to lead one for as long as I could remember, but the constant shit I got for being small growing up kind of prevented me from doing that.

When I grew the balls to do it, Lucy was quick to set a couple up for me when mom and dad said I was too weak. And I've been doing pretty fucking amazing, if I do say so myself.

My training sessions were becoming full and overflowing with great feedback, probably not anymore when I wasted probably a couple hundred wolf's time by not showing up.

"I forgot." I whisper when I regain function in my mouth.

"Clearly." My dad mumbles as he sips his hot chocolate.

"Don't worry too much about it." My mom fills in with a fake smile that I just added to the pile of weird things she did. She pretended a lot. Pretended that she still loved Lucy, pretended that she didn't resent dad in the slightest and that she didn't hate the fact that I was the beta to be.

I wouldn't mind if they shouted at me. Even once. Get mad at me, say what they really wanted to, not the programmed answers they'd set to deal with me.

"I'm going up." I say after a while of listening to them ramble on about how great of a beta they knew I'd be, yet I knew they would pick anyone over me if they could. No matter how hard I worked. How strong I got.

They were always disappointed.

Going straight to Lucy's room, I barge in without knocking only to find half her body on the floor and the other on her bed, she jumps to life as soon as I enter, slashing a knife around wildly while I go straight for her can of Pringles.

"What the fuck Emitt.." She groans angrily as she settles back under her sheets. "What happened to knocking?"

"I don't know." I admit truthfully. "That kind of flew out the window couples years back don't you think?"

"Oh fuck off." She groans as she pulls the covers over her head. "Why did you miss your training session?"

"I was out with a friend." I say carefully.

"So you missed a training session to socialize?" She questions, her voice muffled by the blankets. "Emitt, you know how hard you've worked to bring yourself so high."

"I know." I agree eating her chips, I didn't mind being scolded by her. In fact, whenever she got mad at me it made me work even harder since she cared so much. "It just slipped my mind."

"Wait." She says removing the quilt before sitting up in a hurry, her diligent eyes studying me carefully as I shrunk under her gaze. "What friend had you so entertained that you forgot about something so important....Emitt. Are you seeing someone?"

Abort mission! - Chris screams as he panics in my mind, making me panic leaving us both a panicking mess.

"Emitt!" She hollers excitedly before rushing over to me. "Who is she?"

She

She is a six foot something demi-god with a heart of gold, a body that makes me melt and lips that make me wet.

"There's no one." I say before rushing out of the room.

I've never thought about how Lucy would react to me being gay. I just assumed that because she supported me through it all, that she'd just accept me without a second thought. But like everyone else, she just assumed that I was straight. Naturally.

God what if she hates me when she finds out. She'll find out, I know she will. Eventually.

The thought of Lucy no longer being by my side made my heart break, as my body shuts down in fear. She was the only person I truly loved besides Aiden and the thought of her hating me made tears form in my eyes as I rushed to my room.

Why did I have to be this way? Gay.. Why couldn't I be straight, like Lucy wanted? I felt my skin crawl in disgust as the thoughts continued to spiral around my mind.

Disgusting.

Why me?

Why must I be so different?

Small. Weak. Pitiful.

Disgusting.

I lock the door behind me as I enter my room after putting in the stupid combination I had on it. I locked it up with a special door, wolf's bane lacing the material so not even a werewolf could break into it. All to hide what was inside.

Plain white walls, white furniture coated with light pink accessories that I managed to smuggle in unnoticed somehow. A big dazzling bedframe matched with fairy lights draping over the walls, a messy closet housing all my oversized, pink clothes that I wouldn't dare wear outside.

Things I was once so proud to own, now started to make me feel ashamed inside.

That I would even dare to have them.

I hide what I can. Rushing to the closet with my face coated with tears as I push everything inside, flipping my covers before tearing down the lights as I fall to my knees sobbing, my emotions now completely out of my control. I hold my knees as I crawl into myself, I didn't want to see it. See any of it. I didn't want to see me.

Why am I so disgusting?

-------------