Part 2 of this story will be on that account ]

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𝗔𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗶 𝗞𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲 | 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚇 .

❦

We ain't talk in a minute, so don't hit me up,

and I mix my feelings with prescription drugs,

when I fell to my knees, you ain't pick me up,

when I was down on my back, you said I ain't rich enough.

And we ain't talk about no sex 'cause you ain't get it up.

And I don't want you to suck my dick 'cause you ain't spit enough.

You an ungrateful lil' bitch, said I ain't spend enough.

You told me you want your ass shots 'cause you ain't thick enough.

No Label by Lil Durk played through my S-Class Mercedes Benz while I drove to Eli's momma house. She was having a cookout today since it was her birthday. Of course i'm late but this time I actually have a good excuse. I had a bunch of clients' lashes to do and I didn't want to make anyone reschedule so I just did everyone in one sitting.

I stopped at a red light and grabbed my vibrating phone from the cup holder.

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Today 2:31pm

💕

Dam Mari wya?

I had to do someone lashes at 12,

im omw now

🩸

Good, thought yo dumbass forgot

Mann stfu

👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Hurry yo ass up before all the food gone tho

Fashoo, im close

🖤

Bet, we inna back

You loved "Bet, we inna back"

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About 10 minutes later I pulled up to Eli's folks' house which wasn't that far from the house I grew up in. Eli and Duck always lived right around the corner from me and Bri'on, hence why they were always over our house.

There were cars lined up and down the street. People were on the porch or gathered around the cars. Once I finally found a spot to park my car, I got out taking my keys and unplugging my phone from the charger. I walked up to the crowded porch and greeted some of the people I recognized. The screen door was already open so I walked in and was hit with the smell of ribs and A1 sauce.

"Heyyy babyyy!" Eli's momma said, walking out of the kitchen.

"Hey Momma West." I smiled and embraced her in a hug. "Here you go." I handed her some flowers and a small stack of money.

"Mmcht, now you know you ain't needa get me nothin' Mari!" She smiled and pulled me in for another hug.

"You know I had to." I chuckled. Aunt West and my mom grew up together so she growing up, she was always there when I needed her. If I was too nervous to go to my momma about something and I needed a second opinion, she was the first person I'd call.

"Your momma 'nem coming?" She asked.

"Unfortunately not. Layvas sick so my momma stated home to watch her."

"Awn, alright you can gon' back there. Elijah and the rest of 'em already out there." She gestured towards the backdoor.

I walked out the screen door and to the backyard. It wasn't surprising that the backyard was even more crowded than the inside of the house. My eyes landed on Tasia who was sitting on Duck's lap so I walked over there. Mir, Rell, Aijah and Kali were sitting down on white patio chairs and Reece, Destini and Eli were standing up, eating.

"Hey." I waved as I approached them.

"Finally bitch damn!" Aijah got up first and threw her arms around me all dramatically while she gave me a hug. After greeting mostly everyone I sat down next to Duck.

"Where you been at all week? Barely heard from yo ass." Duck tilted his head at me.

"Working." I said truthfully and he squinted his eyes at me. Duck hates when I overwork but what can I say? I'm literally a workaholic. And especially now since i'm so close to getting this studio.

In reality, I've been ready to get this studio, i've just been waiting on the right time. But it's definitely long overdue 'cause doing lashes out of your apartment is way harder than it seems. On top of that, i'm just one person so I have to handle everything on my own and it's super time consuming. Having a studio would give me a sense of time and make sure I don't bring my work home.

"Don't overwork yourself but getcho money li' sister." Duck nudged my knee playfully and I chuckled.

"So y'all popped out or wha ?" I raised my eyebrows at Tasia who was seated on his lap.

"Yea you could say that." Duck shrugged and kissed Tasia's cheem.

"Tuh period!" I exclaimed and me and Tasia did our lil' handshake.

"Y'all ugly cuhs." Eli said with a mouth full of ribs. If it's one thing Eli's gonna do, it's eat.

"Shutcho fat ass up." I mugged him and he flipped me off.

"Hey Mari!" Iliana, Eli's sister, said walking towards me holding her daughter, Dayla. I stood up and gave her a hug.

"Hey DayDay." I smiled and picked Dayla up.

"Tee MarMar." Dayla smiled, showing her few missing teeth before putting her head in the crook of my neck. Me and Iliana caught up for a bit and she walked back into the house while I sat back down, still holding Dayla.

"Say DayDay, gon' be a good girl and get Unc some water." Eli said, referring to himself. Ole dumbass.

Rell laughed, "Getcho lazy as- butt up and get it yourself."

"Shut up nigga!" He pushed Rell's shoulder, "Come on DayDay, or yeen gettin' nothing for Christmas." Eli laughed, making Dayla cock her head to the side.

"Eli!" Tasia and Destini yelled while he held his stomach laughing.

"MarMar, Uncle Eli be mean to me. " Dayla sniffed, her bottom lip quivering.

Fuck am I supposed to do?

"I know DayDay, it's okay i'm gonna whoop him for you." I told Dayla who nodded and wiped her face.

"Awn! You gon' be a good momma I can tell." Tasia smiled and nudged my shoulder, making me look at her crazy.

"Gir- not anytime soon so you can forget 'bout that." I waved her off.

"Naw Mari, you definitely good with kids. You wanna have some of mine?" Rell grinned and I raised my eyebrows in disbelief while everyone around me laughed.

"Boy, hell naw! I'm not having kids anytime soon so all of y'all could dead that idea."

"You gon' find that one nigga thats gon' put a baby in your stomach and yeen gon be saying nothinnn' !" Kali dragged and I furrowed my eyebrows.

So condoms don't work all of a sudden?

"I use protection love, don't wish that on me." I put my hand up. "Mhmm." I heard of few of them hum and I sucked my teeth.

We broke off into our own conversations for a lil' bit. I wasn't really interacting with Mir for obvious reasons. He's just rude as fuck and every time we talk or try to have a civilized conversation it turns into an argument. I'm not trynna start an argument in Momma Wests' house of all places.

As me and Tasia were talking, I glanced in Mir's direction and caught him staring at me. Like staring staring. I just looked at him blankly and rolled my eyes, trying to ignore him. For someone who doesn't like me he sure does stare at me all the fucking time.

I guess Duck saw me rolling my eyes at Samiron and he sucked his teeth, "Say son, y'all still on this?"

"I ain' on nothing, im chillin." Mir shrugged.

"Im straight." I replied nonchalantly, bouncing DayDay on my lap.

"Clearly you not." Duck lowered his voice so the others couldn't hear him. I just looked at Duck and shrugged cause what the fuck does he want me to do?

"Matter of fact, C'mere Mari." Mir stood up and nodded his head. I exhaled sharply and handed DayDay to Eli. Me and Mir walked to the other side of the house that lead to the front yard.

Once we reached the side of the house where we were secluded from everyone, Mir stopped walking and turned around to look at me. "What's yo problem Mari?"

"You know what my problem is Mir." I leaned back against the fence.

"You still upset over some li' shit I said 3 weeks ago,

it's not that deep." He scoffed.

"But it literally is Samiron.. I told you how I felt about killing the nigga that killed my brother and how I couldn't sleep for weeks cause of my guilty conscience and what did you do? Threw that shit back in my face to prove a point the second you could. That shit is lame as fuck."

In all honesty I was more upset about the fact that he had just learned that information about me and was so quick to throw it back in my face. It just proved the type of person he was; I clearly can't tell him shit 'cause as soon as he feels offended, he's gonna use it against me and I can't stand people like that— stuff I tell you in confidence isn't a card you can pull in an argument.

"And you were so quick to use that shit against me too." I stared at him and he let out a deep breath.

"Look, yo ass was trynna tell me that killing people doesn't solve everything, as if I'm any worse than you. Everyone got they reasons. Just like you had yours when you killed that nigga, I had and still have mine. 1 body or a hundred bodies, that shit don't matter. You trynna compare the number of people like it mattered or some shit. I'm not out here killing random ass people." He ranted with an irritated expression on his face.

"Did allat cause I told you fighting is not gonna help you?" He scoffed, looking off to the side.

"I'd rather fight than have to kill someone." I shrugged.

"In the situations that i've been in, fighting is not gon' do shit but make you a easier target." He looked back at me.

"I just want you to know that you're fucked up for trynna make me feel guilty by speaking bout the nigga I killed's family. He wasn't worried about my family when he shot my brother in front of me so—"

"So..?" Mir trailed off.

"So I wasn't worried about his." I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I broke eye contact and heard Mir sigh.

I felt my eyes start to get glossy but I just sucked it up 'cause I wasn't gonna cry in front of this man. I looked back up at Mir who was still staring at me and looked like he was deep in thought.

When I think about the pain I must've put that man's parents, siblings, kids, etc. through by killing him, it hurts cause it's the same pain my family went through when we lost Bri'on. But it doesn't take away from the fact that he shot my brother in the first place.

Two wrongs don't make a right but at the time, I was so overcome by the rage over the loss of my brother at that time, that I wasn't taking a step back to think.

𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗫𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀 | 𝗠𝗶𝗿

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚇 .

❦

I done killed a good amount of people in my life. All for different reasons too. But I never felt like I had to justify any of 'em before. But Mari is definitely different in that way. Even though dude shot her brother right in front of her face, she still feels guilty 'bout killing him. I just don't have that thought process.

To be honest, I don't understand how she could even feel that way. Maybe it's just the way I am, I don't know. But the whole comparing how many people you've killed thing don't sit right with me. Taking a life is taking a life, so it pissed me off when she flat out assumed I don't have my reasons for doing the shit I do.

I looked at Mari and she was staring up at me with her lips tucked in and her arms crossed over her chest. Obviously this subjecf is sensitive for her which is why I feel kinda bad. This is why this life isn't made for everyone. Once you kill someone, that's a demon you gotta live with for the rest of your life.

Some people aren't made to live with it forever, so it eats them up inside; and that's what's happening to Mari. Lucky for her she got Duck and Eli who been helping her live with it and justify it. But everyone got their own mindset so despite what anyone tells them, they're gonna feel how they wanna feel about what they did.

𝗔𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗶 𝗞𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲 | 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚇 .

❦

"My bad Mari, Ian mean to throw it back in your face." Mir finally broke the long silence. I looked at him and judging by the look on his face and the lowered tone in his voice, he seemed like he was being genuine. Or was he just trynna dead the situation? I don't know.

But i'm just gonna take whatever apology I get and roll with it 'cause i'm honestly tired of explaining myself. I can't force a muthafucka to admit their wrongs if they can't even see their wrong themself. Me and Mir have two completely different mindsets so it was dumb of me to assume that he would even understand why I took what he said the way I did.

"Okay." I finally said, making him nod in response. We turned around and started walking back to the backyard, not exchanging anymore words.

I sighed and Mir glanced back at me over his shoulder. I can tell he feels bad for makin' me this upset, but it's not completely on him. Im dealing with my own issues, what he said just made it that much harder for me. But it is what it is. Like I said, Samiron and I think differently.

We returned to the group and sat back down in our seats. Everyone was still indulged in their own conversations so they didn't really pay attention to me and Samiron breaking away from the group for a few minutes.

Duck looked over at me, raising his eyebrows. I nodded, reassuring him that I was good.

For the next 2 hours we talked, ate some more, shot dice allat. We stayed until most of the people were gone to help Aunt West clean up 'cause i'll be damned if I leave her to clean the whole house by herself. By the time we were done it was a little past 11pm. Everyone had basically left except for Iliana and her daughter, and a few of Eli's aunts.

"What's the word? Where y'all wanna go?" Eli asked as we all leaned against our cars.

It was getting dark and everyone was ready to leave. Aijah and Kali had already left, and Reece took Destini home before their mom went off on their asses. So it was just me, Rell, Mir, Duck, Tasia and Eli left.

"Shidd ion know." Mir stretched.

"I don't fuckin' know either, all I know is I need a damn blunt." Rell's addicted ass said.

"Yall have fun with that, i'm taking my black ass home." I told them, getting my keys out of my pocket.

"You not gon' smoke with us Mar Mar?" Eli nudged me with his elbow and I smacked his chest.

"Naw, i'm tired." I said and looked at Mir who was already looking at me, unconvinced by my excuse. I said bye to all everyone and got back in my car.

I wasn't really that tired, I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. Especially after me and Mir's convo. I just wanted to go home and sleep, and on top of that I've been up since 8am doing lashes and I was beyond tired.

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What show are you addicted to rn?

- 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 -