In as much as we pounced on any opportunity we could to be intimate, that night something shifted. As Eva walked out the door promising to stay in touch the minute it shut I turned to find him already waiting for me sparking a level of anticipation at what he was going to do.

His neutral expression dropped to one that was remorseful with us finally hidden within the safety of non-judgemental walls, "I know I said it already, but I am sorry that you got dragged into my shit."

"It's not your fault," I blurted out moving towards him. He looked away depriving me the opportunity to see beforehand the change in his demeanour to give a glimpse into what he planned to do.

"Come," he replied lifting his hand out seeking my own in the hopes we finally settle in the calm we truly needed.

Placing my hand in his, I followed closely behind, mind blank refusing to allow any murky thoughts to enter when we arrived to the bedroom. He remained silent when we reached the foot of the bed and he pulled me to stand in front of him. Existing in its own level of simplicity he turned the act of undressing into a sacred dance of his own handling me delicately. Allowing the tips of his fingers to brush against my flesh he took little time to undress himself. Breaths coming out rapidly he picked me up and my natural instinct to be close led me to wrap my legs around him.

He placed me gently under the covers, joining me to wrap his arms around my heated body. It exposed another side to him that showcased his ability to not only be ravenous in his pursuit of gratification but be gentle. A hand moved over my spine to settle on my backside and though till this day I wasn't particularly sure what part of my body he loved the most I had a feeling my hips and backside had to be in the top part of the list.

It was silent for a while before I finally spoke being wrapped around the much needed safety from him, "What did you do with him?" I asked only to feel him stiffen behind me.

"He's still alive for now," he growled, I turned to face him fully at the sound of the demon lying beneath the man I had opened myself up to. "You plan on killing him," I pointed out, the words heavy on my tongue.

"He is no use to me, he's already told Joseph and I all we need to know and I can't stand another second the fucker is breathing after what he tried to do."

"I know you think you have to do something to retaliate but I'm fin –"

"But what if I hadn't shown up on time? One second late and I'd probably find you..." he wavered taking in a quivering breath shutting his eyes tightly and there it was, the real admission of fear of how helpless us humans were when it came to what we couldn't control. Regardless of the power one wields that power had limits. He shifted running a hand down his face and opened his eyes once more showing me that beyond the tough exterior was a just a man unsure of what to do.

"We can't focus on the what if's. In as much as I don't want to talk about the shit that happened what's keeping me from falling apart is the fact I'm still here and that's because you got to me at the knick of time. I don't want any more blood on your hands, if killing is truly the only option," I paused contemplating what other alternative to give, "then allow someone else to do the deed," I replied placing my hand on his cheek turning his head to face me when I heard him grumble in annoyance at the request. Kissing him multiple times till a smile eventually cracked on his lips he lifted me up placing me on top of him. I sat up placing my legs on either side of him only to stare down into those blue eyes with the confession at the tip of my tongue ready to spill out.

Just when I was about to say it he flipped us over to hover above me. It was his turn to initiate a kiss silencing the three little words. He pulled back moving his eyes over my features. "When I saw him touching you I wanted to rip his fucking throat out," he growled nipping my bottom lip. "No one else, for as long as I'm here can touch you here," he whispered kissing my lips, "here..." he continued shifting down till he was eye level with my chest to place soft kisses there that left me breathless unable to grasp what was real or not. "I can't afford to lose you," he whispered peppering my neck with kisses.

"You're not going to lose me," I whispered back but in as much as I said it I wasn't particularly sure that time if I was qualified to give such convictions to the universe. But he nodded moving forward feeding my addiction with his loving. The rest of the night passed with us giving each other the affection and care we needed to rectify the damage done and chase away the fear. For in that night we told each other what verbalising failed to do which was simply, "Baby, I got you."

***

It had been days in his home. Without asking we had already received a glimpse into what a forever together looked like. Until out of the blue he told me that we had somewhere we needed to be.

Nothing in his actions indicated that something was amiss. He appeared normal as we rode in silence with more men around us than usual for protection. I hadn't asked a lot of questions because I had grown sick of being indoors such that I had been ready to jump onto any chance I could get for fresh air.

The second we arrived at our destination I had looked at him sceptically but he told me to trust him and he led me inside. From the time I became conscious of the evils in the world I had never expected having a gun to my head but I certainly didn't expect to ever have one in my hands. It had been over an hour since the single-stack compact 9mm pistol, Nicky gifted me with had been placed in my hands triggering an incredible surge of apprehension through my veins that passed after some time.

He stood behind me, observing me as I fired at the target. The smell of the smoke radiating from the cigar in his mouth imprinted itself as one of the vivid things I remember as shot after shot rang until there were no more bullets left. "Again," he commanded and I turned on my heels allowing him to see my eyes roll from the activity that I never asked for us to partake in, "Remind me again why this is necessary," I muttered watching him reload the gun. "In case I'm not there, you'll need to know how to handle yourself," he replied removing the cigar from his mouth only to hold out the gun for me to take.

I eyed the weapon unsure if it was necessary but deep down I knew he was right. There was no use tip toeing around the inevitable conflict and if I didn't want to be vulnerable like that I'd have to know how to protect myself. So in the end I took it reluctantly.

Focusing in on the target I felt him right behind me making me grow acutely aware of his proximity especially when he placed his hands on my hips, "Hmmm." he hummed placing his face into the side of my neck to take a not so subtle sniff of my perfume, "so sexy when you hold it like that," he groaned grounding his hips into me eliciting an unladylike snort to tumble out of me from his words. "I can't believe you're getting turned on by me holding a gun," I scoffed tightening my grip only to have him say, "I get turned on by you period, now..." he paused placing his lips purposefully by my ear, "shoot." And upon demand I pulled the trigger. He didn't flinch instead the man was too busy nipping my ear making the task all the more challenging considering the flutters that had begun. My body's immediate response along with his skilful touches was the primary reason why there was never any peace in the bedroom.

We spent a few hours with me missing a considerable amount of times only to have him coach me through on what to do. But alas he had to go see Sonny who wasn't the least bit happy about the recent developments but who would be?

It was only after he dropped me off back home with assurance that he'd return when my phone rang. The name on the screen reminded me that from the perspective of other's my life appeared normal when it was turning out a lot different. "Hey mom," I answered plopping onto the couch feeling excited at speaking to her. And when I heard her voice on the other end an involuntary smile found its way onto my face at her chastising me for not calling as much as I should. "Just because you're graduating soon doesn't mean you aren't too old for me to put my foot up your ass," she chided and I cringed at the fact my mother did not play when it came to putting anyone in their place.

"Maybe you coming for graduation is a bad idea," I remarked playfully earning a chuckle from her. "And miss such an important milestone in your life – never. Besides I need a break from this place and meet Nicholas." Jerking forward at what she said in shock I heard her hum in response as if she could see my face but she did know me like the back of her hand. "Your dad told me the second he came back from his trip. How could you not tell me, your own mother?"

"We were just friends at the time so there was nothing to tell," I defended only to fall short at the fact my response failed to make the situation any better. "'Were', implies that it's in the past. So I'm only asking you this once," she declared and I waited patiently hearing her shuffle about before she continued her voice coming out a lot softly, "are you two together?"

Nodding my head wearing a silly grin I replied, "Yes, we are." A few seconds passed of utter silence and my curiosity for what she was thinking was answered when she asked, "Have you two been intimate?"

"OH GOD, MOM!" I squealed covering my face blushing profusely at the information my mother was seeking. "What!? I'm just asking. We've never spoken about this before," she replied laughing. "I am not discussing my sex life with you. Not now, not EVER," I stressed and she sucked her teeth. "Suit yourself, better me than your father. Lord knows he'd have a stroke."

"He was pretty nice to him when they met," I responded but one thing that did stick out to me amidst the introductions was the fact Nicholas had kept the details vague about what he did to him. I could only imagine how my parents would react if they knew the full truth.

If I'm frank it was probably for the best my parents didn't know certain details lest I planned on getting dragged back kicking and screaming back home. The last thing I wanted was my mother's already fearful assumptions being proven true.

But that call with her had helped in taking my mind off of everything even if it would be for a while. I had to focus on the positive aspects that I was still living and that there was still so much to look forward to. And one of those things was finally starting another phase of my life.